Well you know what man, I just gotta tell ya that’s a really nice grill you got there. That’s a really nice grill you got there, man.
It’s nice, right?
It’s really nice
It’s really nice
It’s really nice
It’s really nice
It’s really nice
It’s really nice. It’s really nice. Check out this part right here. Lemme just open it up (opens grill) Ooooh yeah. Uh huh. And then I’ll close it.
Oh there it is.
And then I’ll bring it back up.
Yeah here it is again. Oohh it’s really nice.
It’s really nice.
It’s really nice.
It’s really nice. Watch this right here (turns on grill)
You know I- You know- Well you know I- well you know, I wouldn’t even be one to say, really. You know who am I to-
I.. hate living. I hate my family. But I love grilling. I don’t see any other option.
Well, that sounds like a really tough situation man. And I just want to let you know that I’m here for you-
(Interrupting) It has to be done. It has to be done. (mouth pop) It has to be done. It has to be done. Alright? It has to be done, okay? Let’s do it.
You know, is it even big enough?
What? What, the FUCK does THAT mean? You don’t this this GRILL is big enough to grill ME?! (getting increasingly louder) This grill can grill ANYTHING. It’s you! YOU! YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS TO GRILL ME! YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS TO CLOSE THE LID! IT’S YOU! WELL IT’S NOT YOUR CHOICE ANYMORE! BECAUSE I’M GETTING GRILLED TODAY!! AND WHEN I’M CRISPY AND DONE, YOU BETTER EMPTY THE GREASE TRAY, OR MY SOUL WILL HAUNT THIS GRILL FOR ETERNITY!! I’m going in.
Please don’t. Please don’t! Please!
Okay. (climbing onto grill) AAAAAAUUUGH!!!! GEEEEAAAAGH!!! CLOSE THE LID! CLOSE THE LID!! (lid closes) OOAAAHHH I CAN FEEL IT INSIDE ME!!! THE FIRE IS INSIDE ME!! DON’T LET ME OUUT!! DON’T LET ME OUT PLEEAAASE! PLEASE DON’T LET ME OUUT! DON’T LET ME OUT!!! DON’T LET ME OUT PLEEAASE!!! PLEASE DON’T LET ME OOOUUUUUT-
(scared) Daddy? Where’s my daddy?
Oh god.
Where’s my daddy?
Oh go- (pukes on the floor)
What did you do?! What did you do to my daddy?!
Sorry. I’m sorry I have to go. I’m sorry! (gets into car and drives off) (voices of the dead father flash by)
YOU BETTER EMPTY THE GREASE TRAY!!
(realization dawns) OH SHIT! (car crashes and explodes) (music plays)