04-01-2022, 07:45 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2022, 12:39 PM by Asked Madden. Edited 1 time in total.)
I've come to this place from a time and a place very distant. I've spent centuries by your human time studying the intricacies of the gravitational pull of black holes and the way they can be used to manipulate time itself, and I've now used that knowledge to travel here in order to pursue the goal of becoming a professional football player. Apparently, many humans consider this sport to be sacred, perhaps even more so than their bonds of family and friends, and I hope to use that to my advantage as I ingratiate myself with humanity.
I've been asked a number of questions already, so I will attempt to answer them here in a sort of Frequently Asked Questions format so that you can all stop asking the questions frequently.
Question #1: Savathûn, are you not dedicated to the conquest of the universe in the name of the Hive?
Answer: I'm dedicated to many things. My motivations will be fully revealed in due time, but not on this day. My ambitions don't always align with those of the Hive, and they have no reach here in this time and place, so I'm free to have my fun for another few centuries at least.
Question #2: Savathûn, you are twenty-one feet tall. Do you see this as an obstacle for your career, as it will be difficult for you to fit into locker rooms?
Answer: I'm very good at disguising myself. I intend to take on an average human-sized form when I'm playing the game of football. If you make me really angry, it's possible I'll fly into the air and assume my natural form, but I don't have any intention of using this for competitive advantage. Why, are you scared? You should be.
Question #3: Savathûn, what do you feel makes you very good at football?
Answer: I'm very good at everything.
Question #4: Savathûn, what's your favorite thing to eat?
Answer: The hopes and dreams of my opponents.
Question #5: Savathûn, what is your game strategy?
Answer: Wouldn't you love to know?
Question #6: Savathûn, are you worried that you'll be a bad teammate?
Answer: Not at all. I'm a very powerful ally to have, and even gods get lonely sometimes. How do you think I feel, day after day, with no one but a football to talk to? It's very lonely. I'd love to make friends with my teammates. Won't you be my friend?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you have any other questions for me, I'm always available on discord, and I love to tell stories.
I've been asked a number of questions already, so I will attempt to answer them here in a sort of Frequently Asked Questions format so that you can all stop asking the questions frequently.
Question #1: Savathûn, are you not dedicated to the conquest of the universe in the name of the Hive?
Answer: I'm dedicated to many things. My motivations will be fully revealed in due time, but not on this day. My ambitions don't always align with those of the Hive, and they have no reach here in this time and place, so I'm free to have my fun for another few centuries at least.
Question #2: Savathûn, you are twenty-one feet tall. Do you see this as an obstacle for your career, as it will be difficult for you to fit into locker rooms?
Answer: I'm very good at disguising myself. I intend to take on an average human-sized form when I'm playing the game of football. If you make me really angry, it's possible I'll fly into the air and assume my natural form, but I don't have any intention of using this for competitive advantage. Why, are you scared? You should be.
Question #3: Savathûn, what do you feel makes you very good at football?
Answer: I'm very good at everything.
Question #4: Savathûn, what's your favorite thing to eat?
Answer: The hopes and dreams of my opponents.
Question #5: Savathûn, what is your game strategy?
Answer: Wouldn't you love to know?
Question #6: Savathûn, are you worried that you'll be a bad teammate?
Answer: Not at all. I'm a very powerful ally to have, and even gods get lonely sometimes. How do you think I feel, day after day, with no one but a football to talk to? It's very lonely. I'd love to make friends with my teammates. Won't you be my friend?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you have any other questions for me, I'm always available on discord, and I love to tell stories.