07-05-2022, 10:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-12-2022, 02:20 AM by dude_man. Edited 3 times in total.)
Hello, fellow ISFLers. The fact of the matter is I need money. The offseason always hits the bank account hard, especially the whole equipment thing. Sure the TPE is worth it, but I like getting to pad the bank account just a little bit. So with every new season comes the push to write a little bit of new media to make up for what was lost. This season, I decided to try something a little bit different for myself. I decided to meander through the tracker and give a quick overview of the depth chart for each team. This really isn’t as in depth as the topic should be. There is a lot to look at, and unfortunately I am not quite as smart or eloquent as some of the other writers in this league. But still, here is a quick look at each DSFL roster as of the last update on the tracker. I hope you enjoy, please yell at me by sending a letter via carrier pigeon to my editor if/when you find any mistakes. Eph
Bondi Beach Buccaneers:
I want everyone to know I spelled Buccaneers right on my first try this time. I believe that’s a first for me.
Offense –
The Buccs are lead on offense by rookie QB Grayson Yates, who has 143 TPE so far this season. In the ISFL, a rookie QB usually indicates a team that will struggle for a season or two. In the DSFL, things are a little more variable. The youngster is clearly earning well, and a certain Norfolk QB I know well proved you can have a big season as a rookie running the mobile build. Yates also has some help in the running game in the form of the speedy Bean Delphine Jr. and the mighty Udo E Beaty. This trio of rushers should be able to make a big impact in the game. Unfortunately, the passing attack might suffer as only one of the team’s receivers is past the DSFL cap of 250 TPE – Derrick Prince. Prince is followed on the depth chart by Dip Dhillon, who has a solid 164 TPE so far, so the dropoff isn’t too terrible from first to second, but no WR on the depth chart beyond Dip at WR2 has more than 50 TPE. Tight End Reece Wells II hopes to pick up some of that slack. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to see them lined up at WR in some key situations. The strength of this offense is certainly their ability to move the ball on the ground, though they may have enough talent to string together a passing attack if they can move the ball around to the various playmakers.
Defense –
The Buccs roster is a little bit thin on defense. On the line, they have Stryker Brown and Thwomp, both of whom are under 150 TPE. Their linebacker corps has a little more strength to it, with Kevin McThumper being well above the cap, but Jordan Hartline has some catching up to do. The only CB on the roster is Jason Oexius, who is closing in on 200 TPE, but the safety over the top has only 57 at this point, although I believe they are pretty much brand new to our league and I hope they are able to grow into the role!
Overall –
The team is the third lowest in average TPE at 170 and second worst in the league in defensive TPE. The offense has enough star power on the field to will the team to a few wins, but they will have to overcome the liability that is their defense if they want to contend for the Ultimini this season. Ultimately, I expect the Buccs to be picking in the top half of the next draft.
London Royals
Offense –
The Royals also take the field this season with a rookie QB, but one who opted for the pocket passer archetype instead of the mobile build that has so much success at the DSFL level. Montagne will be hoping to find Ayodele, Vox, Lauvin, or Jacuzzi through the air, although the receiving group is a young one. Ayodele is the only send down of the bunch, and, coincidentally, the only one over 200 TPE. This doesn’t necessarily bode well for the team this season, but should mean they will have the chance to string together as dominant a passing attack as any in the DSFL if the rookies earn well and a few are sent down. Lenny Lyons and Danny Nedelko will look to be dynamic playmakers, though, as both RBs went with the receiving back archetype. It will be interesting to see how London splits the playing time and chooses to move the ball with so many people looking to get involved in the catching game. Joining the already crowded field is possession tight end Benny Hana, another S34 send down. Trigger Robinson and Yummy HotDogPie will look to protect the QB and pick up some pancakes in the trenches.
Defense –
The defensive line for the royals is among their weaker areas as a team. Amadan Fool has only 91 TPE, although nose tackle Joseph Reed is over the DSFL cap as a send down and should be able to make an impact this season in the trenches. Marquis Clanton, another defensive tackle, has only 50 TPE. The linebacking unit, on the other hand, has two players near or over the cap in Ignatius Reilly and Emerson Quinn. Cornerback Outlaw Mode Sicko is also well over the cap and should make quite an impact in the secondary, but is lined up across from a 57 TPE rookie in Wae Traynes. Should they not want to get exposed too badly in the pass defense part of their game, they will rely heavily on a pair of S36 safeties, both of which are over the cap. Ball hawks Quendyn Quarterstorm and Aleksandr Milescu will likely go a long ways in determining how successful London is on defense this season. If they can contain the passing game, it will free up their linebackers to be more involved in the run defense and pass rush, hopefully leading to good things.
Overall –
London does not necessarily have many glaring holes in their team. They have a young QB who chose to go with a passing build, which is always a bit of a gamble in the DSFL as the cap makes it tough to put together a great build. Their offense is largely geared towards being involved in the passing game, though, and some teams will likely have a hard time covering all the options. Their defense has a few holes, but is generally well rounded and I think that gives them a real shot at success in the turbulent DSFL.
Dallas Birddogs
Offense –
Dallas is the first team to show us a dual-QB system, with Gunslinger Brock Landers Jr. joining send-down Roque Santa Cruz. Landers has not yet hit the cap and Roque has passed it. The system could be interesting, as both players have different builds. Santa Cruz favors the mobile style of play while Landers Jr. looks to move the ball primarily through the air. This split is made even more interesting by the team’s relative weakness at RB, with Nick Smith being the only back on the team and having only 73 TPE. The receiving group has a bit more depth, though. Lead by Matthew Mara and Rocky Moreaux, both of which are currently hovering right around 200 TPE. There is a sharp drop in quality after those two, however, as they are followed by Cornelius King III with 64 TPE and Damien Chambers and and Matt Dominque Johnson Jr. with 50 TPE each. That gap can be partially filled with the vertical threat TE Waluigi Gronkowski and his 230 TPE. I am curious to see the results that will come out of a 2 QB system in an offense that is built around passing, except for a mobile QB. It could be a very interesting season for the Birddogs’ offense.
Defense –
The Birddogs’ defense is honestly pretty dry bones outside of the defensive line. End Jr Frankenstero and tackle Charles Chapman are both over the DSFL cap, while Bay Webb has 95 TPE and Duke Houdini has only 50. After that, the only player on the tracker is Safety Kaiden King with 255 TPE. With a defense that thin, it is hard to see the Birddogs having too much success unless their offense can turn every game into a shootout. They definitely have somm e strong players to build around, so maybe they can bring in a few on waivers and get the team moving in the right direction again, but that remains to be seen.
Overall –
Rookie GM PurpleReign certainly has a tough challenge ahead. The offense has some real strength, but running a 2 QB system can prove to be challenging. Still, Purple was doing some sim testing for us in Norfolk before becoming a Birddog, so I am sure they can find a way to make that system work. Unfortunately, the team is likely to run into a real challenge winning games due to a barebones approach on defense. The only way I see them winning games are if their offense can keep up. It is definitely possible and we saw that just a few short seasons ago a team can sneak into the playoffs with a losing record and bring home the trophy, but I am not sure if Dallas can do that again this season. Ultimately, they may be competing for 1oa in the DSFL draft.
Kansas City Coyotes
Offense –
The Coyotes have a returning QB in Queen Elizabeth II who is well over the cap and has a few seasons already at the helm under her belt. The Coyotes are also strong enough in the running game, with Jair Pharoah sitting at 200 TPE and Ram 1500 at 131. The strength of this team, though, likely remains with the WRs. Austin Morley, Mandrews McHollywood, and Octavio Perez are all over the cap as pass catchers. They are supplemented by vertical threats in Virginia Emmet and JJ Lopez-Daniels at the tight end position. Emmet is nearing the cap and Lopez-Daniels is close to 200 TPE. Dusty Wilson looks to help the Queen find receivers at 140 TPE. This is probably the strongest offense we have previewed so far and quite possibly could be the strongest in the league.
Defense –
For as strong as KCC’s offense is, their defensive line is a glaring shortcoming. It is manned by Matthew Busse Jr. and Larry Fisherman, who both have only 50 TPE. They have a little more at linebacker thanks to Ryland Bunnell and his 166 TPE, but the other two at this position are GM bots. Their cornerback room is not any better, with Bacarri Rambo’s 63 and another GM bot holding down the fort. Safety is a tiny bit more promising, but only if Buddy Little can start earning TPE to help shore up Dalibor Dvorsky’s 69 TPE tally (nice). At least they have Known Acquaintance punting and kicking…
Overall –
I expect KCC is on a bit of a revenge tour after falling short in the championship game a few short weeks ago. They are returning a ton of talent on offense and have probably strongest offense in the league. The defense has a ton of holes to fill, though, and some teams might just be able to go toe to toe on offense. Th e Coyotes will have to overcome this if they hope to crown themselves champions at the end of this season.
Portland Pythons
Offense –
You may have heard of player coaches, but have you heard of player commissioners? Nunccoepi takes charge of the Portland offense in the form of Adrian St. Christmas, a pocket passing rookie QB. Portland’s rushing attack will be limited to Dobromil Dvorak, who has only 82 TPE at this point in the early season. They hope to run the offense through WRs Swantavius Torch, OLllie O’Donnell, Payton Wilhelm, Blibby Shpoopy, and Tight Ends L F.T and Turt Golum. Interestingly, both tight ends chose the blocking archetype. It will be interesting to see how they perform in the passing game and whether having some extra blocking power on the field can help Dvorak in the rushing game. A handful of players on this offense are earning very well, so I have no doubt this could become a really good offense. I just think they have a few holes to fill in first. Some additional help at RB and maybe some improved WR depth could turn this offense into a powerhouse.
Defense –
The Pythons have a lot more power on the defensive line than most, if not all, of the teams we have previewed so far. Boone McCoy clocks in over the cap and Absolute Unit is just below at 234 TPE. The linebackers have some strength as well, with Akaki Akayre sitting pretty at 345 TPE and Monty Ward chasing with 134 as an S37 create. The secondary is a little bit depleted, however, with cornerback Suggs Upshar II and safety Roma Amir-Kani looking to hold down the fort. Safeties Poopoo InPee and Inspector Gadget add some depth to the secondary.
Overall –
The Pythons have an interesting team makeup. I could see them putting together a pretty well rounded unit, but there is certainly some room for improvement and a few strategic waiver pickups could really strengthen this team. I am curious to see how they’ll hold up to the competition.
Norfolk Seawolves
Offense –
The Seawolves are lead by the speedy quarterback Pete Zuh (yes, pronounced like pizza). Zuh and the rest of the team are looking to defend their title from last season. The rest of the rushing attack is made of backs lead by Aaron Ford’s 67 TPE. Ford is followed by Sutton, King, and Emmanuel with 50 TPE each. The receiving group is lead by Thomas Robinson, who is returning as a send down with 348 TPE, a good bit ahead of Orion Jasper’s 98, who is a good deal ahead of Tommy Allen’s 50. Cardorino Tarotino tries to fill EEE’s shoes as a blocking tight end after the pro-bowler was summoned to the ISFL. Pilot RedSun handles the blocking duties with a nice 228 TPE, which I believe is the highest total so far in the article at the offensive line position.
Defense –
The Seawolves only have one human player on the defensive line: Matthew Mayhem. Mayhem and his 111 TPE look to terrorize opposing offensive lines. Linebacker Carissa van Campen is the sole linebacker on the team, but I am assured Carissa is more then up to the task, with a solid 389 TPE. Nightingale and Tingis Pingis handle the cornerbacking, with the send-down Nightingale sitting at 260 TPE and the newcomer Pingis rapidly making up ground at 160. Both safeties, Ja’uan Holland and Jasper Fontaine, are well over the cap and look to shore up the pass defense for the Seawolves. Orlando Doom covers the special teams duties with 255 TPE.
Overall –
The Seawolves, as I mentioned earlier, are coming off an Ultimini win and had the most players drafted in the first round last season (I believe four Seawolves went in the first 14 picks). The team has some weaknesses, namely from a lack of depth in the front seven. With only two players in that key group, they may have a hard time stopping the run. We will also see if Zuh’s legs are enough to power the team to victory, as the rest of the offense continues to develop around him. Depth is a question that the Seawolves will have to answer before we can start talking about a repeat trip to the championship game. The Seawolves are off to a good start, but they have a lot to prove down the stretch.
Minnesota Grey Ducks
Offense -
The Grey Ducks quarterback, Owen Farrell, is yet another senddown who is well beyond the DSFL cap. Farrell chose the Field General archetype, and will look to distribute the ball between Rockbot Rockbo, a capped receiver, and then a few players with 50 TPE in Shyhiem Walker and Leonal Shea. With that lack of depth, some of the running backs may have to fill in the gaps. The Incredible Bulk, a fullback, leads all ball carriers on the team with 227 TPE. Malcolm Graves, a speedster, has 138, and fellow speedster Lee King has 50. Jimmy Holding looks to pave the way for the rushers and keep the veteran QB clean by handling the blocking duties. Holding is painfully 1 TPE shy of the cap. Sorry bud. The grey ducks certainly have some talent. Their QB, RBs, one WR, and OL are all earning very well and can make a real impact. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a lack of depth that is particularly noticeable at RB. We will see if that holds them back, or if their star players can carry the rest of the offense throughout the season.
Defense –
Defensive Ends Aqeel Steele and Mike Scott look to have dominant seasons terrorizing quarterbacks and ball carriers. Both of these outstanding players are past the DSFL cap. Linebacker Gribbuh Fister looks to handle anyone who manages to get past those two, while Hunter Cloud is holding on for dear life at 50 TPE alongside Fister. Cornerback Bonzi Buddy is beyond the cap, but lined up across from Vader Page at 52 TPE. Fortunately, safeties Teemo Swift and Nate Winter are both beyond the cap and provide a solid safety net (get it?) should they be needed. Similar to the offense, the team has some real star power but sometimes lacks from depth at a few positions. That said, they have some strong players on the line and a really solid secondary to play with.
Overall –
The Grey Ducks have a bit of an issue with depth, BUT they have a lot of players in key positions who are at or very near the DSFL cap. They have a great QB, but not a ton of TPE in the receiving room. They have a really solid user at OL and some solid TPE at running back, though, so they should be able to strike a decent balance. The defense has a few high TPE players in the front seven, but not much outside of the defensive end position. The secondary is stacked, though, and that might be good enough to power them to the playoffs. I will certainly be keeping an eye on the Grey Ducks.
Tijuana Luchadores
Offense –
Tijuana’s quarterback, Delores Bickerman, hopes to make a name for themselves as a gunslinger. As a rookie, they will be looking to prove themselves this season against QBs who are already at the cap. Fortunately, Kya is a known thing and should keep up the earning. Kya has help in the form of Fullback Triple Option, who is past the cap, and CG Breezy at 226 TPE. And, if that isn’t enough, Gavin Kushers and Prince Shafer fill out the room at 52 and 50 TPE respectively. Maximilian Hamilton leads the WR room with Don Dobbler close behind (331 and 248 TPE respectively). Toby Hays and Drew Stowe round out the room. Richard Harden and Skratch Broke fill out the formations as the tight ends, with Harden looking like another good option at 177 TPE. And, if all that wasn’t enough to make you smile, THREE offensive linemen on the team sit above 200 TPE. This team is really hording all the big boys. Shoutout to Larry Jenkins, Dennis Rodman, and Pan Cakes (love the name) in the trenches. This offense is SCARY on paper. The only weak spot might be the rookie QB, but Bickerman already has 187 TPE and is earning fast.
Defense –
The defense starts off with defensive end D’Sqarius Green V (121 TPE), tackle Bunk McDunk (73 TPE) and tackle Sexy Wilfork (162 TPE). Linebackers Walter McKinley, Aikeek Dafootbawl, and Charlie Thorsen all sit near 200 TPE. Cornerbacks Donatello McTurtle and Mabel Pines are both past the cap. The only real weak spot here might be safety, with Kyzir Washington sitting at 199 and Deckerd DeShaw at 90. And a maxed kicker Savathun T. Witchqueen rounds things out. This defense is also pretty solid on paper. I’m officially scared of this team.
Overall –
Tijuana has a really solid team on paper. If they can piece it all together behind the scenes in testing and get the lucky bounces within the sim, this team could be really scary. I will be nervous watching my home team square off against the Luchadores, who are perhaps one of the most storied teams in the DSFL. They will certainly look to add to their impressive legacy with a team this good on paper.
Bondi Beach Buccaneers:
I want everyone to know I spelled Buccaneers right on my first try this time. I believe that’s a first for me.
Offense –
The Buccs are lead on offense by rookie QB Grayson Yates, who has 143 TPE so far this season. In the ISFL, a rookie QB usually indicates a team that will struggle for a season or two. In the DSFL, things are a little more variable. The youngster is clearly earning well, and a certain Norfolk QB I know well proved you can have a big season as a rookie running the mobile build. Yates also has some help in the running game in the form of the speedy Bean Delphine Jr. and the mighty Udo E Beaty. This trio of rushers should be able to make a big impact in the game. Unfortunately, the passing attack might suffer as only one of the team’s receivers is past the DSFL cap of 250 TPE – Derrick Prince. Prince is followed on the depth chart by Dip Dhillon, who has a solid 164 TPE so far, so the dropoff isn’t too terrible from first to second, but no WR on the depth chart beyond Dip at WR2 has more than 50 TPE. Tight End Reece Wells II hopes to pick up some of that slack. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to see them lined up at WR in some key situations. The strength of this offense is certainly their ability to move the ball on the ground, though they may have enough talent to string together a passing attack if they can move the ball around to the various playmakers.
Defense –
The Buccs roster is a little bit thin on defense. On the line, they have Stryker Brown and Thwomp, both of whom are under 150 TPE. Their linebacker corps has a little more strength to it, with Kevin McThumper being well above the cap, but Jordan Hartline has some catching up to do. The only CB on the roster is Jason Oexius, who is closing in on 200 TPE, but the safety over the top has only 57 at this point, although I believe they are pretty much brand new to our league and I hope they are able to grow into the role!
Overall –
The team is the third lowest in average TPE at 170 and second worst in the league in defensive TPE. The offense has enough star power on the field to will the team to a few wins, but they will have to overcome the liability that is their defense if they want to contend for the Ultimini this season. Ultimately, I expect the Buccs to be picking in the top half of the next draft.
London Royals
Offense –
The Royals also take the field this season with a rookie QB, but one who opted for the pocket passer archetype instead of the mobile build that has so much success at the DSFL level. Montagne will be hoping to find Ayodele, Vox, Lauvin, or Jacuzzi through the air, although the receiving group is a young one. Ayodele is the only send down of the bunch, and, coincidentally, the only one over 200 TPE. This doesn’t necessarily bode well for the team this season, but should mean they will have the chance to string together as dominant a passing attack as any in the DSFL if the rookies earn well and a few are sent down. Lenny Lyons and Danny Nedelko will look to be dynamic playmakers, though, as both RBs went with the receiving back archetype. It will be interesting to see how London splits the playing time and chooses to move the ball with so many people looking to get involved in the catching game. Joining the already crowded field is possession tight end Benny Hana, another S34 send down. Trigger Robinson and Yummy HotDogPie will look to protect the QB and pick up some pancakes in the trenches.
Defense –
The defensive line for the royals is among their weaker areas as a team. Amadan Fool has only 91 TPE, although nose tackle Joseph Reed is over the DSFL cap as a send down and should be able to make an impact this season in the trenches. Marquis Clanton, another defensive tackle, has only 50 TPE. The linebacking unit, on the other hand, has two players near or over the cap in Ignatius Reilly and Emerson Quinn. Cornerback Outlaw Mode Sicko is also well over the cap and should make quite an impact in the secondary, but is lined up across from a 57 TPE rookie in Wae Traynes. Should they not want to get exposed too badly in the pass defense part of their game, they will rely heavily on a pair of S36 safeties, both of which are over the cap. Ball hawks Quendyn Quarterstorm and Aleksandr Milescu will likely go a long ways in determining how successful London is on defense this season. If they can contain the passing game, it will free up their linebackers to be more involved in the run defense and pass rush, hopefully leading to good things.
Overall –
London does not necessarily have many glaring holes in their team. They have a young QB who chose to go with a passing build, which is always a bit of a gamble in the DSFL as the cap makes it tough to put together a great build. Their offense is largely geared towards being involved in the passing game, though, and some teams will likely have a hard time covering all the options. Their defense has a few holes, but is generally well rounded and I think that gives them a real shot at success in the turbulent DSFL.
Dallas Birddogs
Offense –
Dallas is the first team to show us a dual-QB system, with Gunslinger Brock Landers Jr. joining send-down Roque Santa Cruz. Landers has not yet hit the cap and Roque has passed it. The system could be interesting, as both players have different builds. Santa Cruz favors the mobile style of play while Landers Jr. looks to move the ball primarily through the air. This split is made even more interesting by the team’s relative weakness at RB, with Nick Smith being the only back on the team and having only 73 TPE. The receiving group has a bit more depth, though. Lead by Matthew Mara and Rocky Moreaux, both of which are currently hovering right around 200 TPE. There is a sharp drop in quality after those two, however, as they are followed by Cornelius King III with 64 TPE and Damien Chambers and and Matt Dominque Johnson Jr. with 50 TPE each. That gap can be partially filled with the vertical threat TE Waluigi Gronkowski and his 230 TPE. I am curious to see the results that will come out of a 2 QB system in an offense that is built around passing, except for a mobile QB. It could be a very interesting season for the Birddogs’ offense.
Defense –
The Birddogs’ defense is honestly pretty dry bones outside of the defensive line. End Jr Frankenstero and tackle Charles Chapman are both over the DSFL cap, while Bay Webb has 95 TPE and Duke Houdini has only 50. After that, the only player on the tracker is Safety Kaiden King with 255 TPE. With a defense that thin, it is hard to see the Birddogs having too much success unless their offense can turn every game into a shootout. They definitely have somm e strong players to build around, so maybe they can bring in a few on waivers and get the team moving in the right direction again, but that remains to be seen.
Overall –
Rookie GM PurpleReign certainly has a tough challenge ahead. The offense has some real strength, but running a 2 QB system can prove to be challenging. Still, Purple was doing some sim testing for us in Norfolk before becoming a Birddog, so I am sure they can find a way to make that system work. Unfortunately, the team is likely to run into a real challenge winning games due to a barebones approach on defense. The only way I see them winning games are if their offense can keep up. It is definitely possible and we saw that just a few short seasons ago a team can sneak into the playoffs with a losing record and bring home the trophy, but I am not sure if Dallas can do that again this season. Ultimately, they may be competing for 1oa in the DSFL draft.
Kansas City Coyotes
Offense –
The Coyotes have a returning QB in Queen Elizabeth II who is well over the cap and has a few seasons already at the helm under her belt. The Coyotes are also strong enough in the running game, with Jair Pharoah sitting at 200 TPE and Ram 1500 at 131. The strength of this team, though, likely remains with the WRs. Austin Morley, Mandrews McHollywood, and Octavio Perez are all over the cap as pass catchers. They are supplemented by vertical threats in Virginia Emmet and JJ Lopez-Daniels at the tight end position. Emmet is nearing the cap and Lopez-Daniels is close to 200 TPE. Dusty Wilson looks to help the Queen find receivers at 140 TPE. This is probably the strongest offense we have previewed so far and quite possibly could be the strongest in the league.
Defense –
For as strong as KCC’s offense is, their defensive line is a glaring shortcoming. It is manned by Matthew Busse Jr. and Larry Fisherman, who both have only 50 TPE. They have a little more at linebacker thanks to Ryland Bunnell and his 166 TPE, but the other two at this position are GM bots. Their cornerback room is not any better, with Bacarri Rambo’s 63 and another GM bot holding down the fort. Safety is a tiny bit more promising, but only if Buddy Little can start earning TPE to help shore up Dalibor Dvorsky’s 69 TPE tally (nice). At least they have Known Acquaintance punting and kicking…
Overall –
I expect KCC is on a bit of a revenge tour after falling short in the championship game a few short weeks ago. They are returning a ton of talent on offense and have probably strongest offense in the league. The defense has a ton of holes to fill, though, and some teams might just be able to go toe to toe on offense. Th e Coyotes will have to overcome this if they hope to crown themselves champions at the end of this season.
Portland Pythons
Offense –
You may have heard of player coaches, but have you heard of player commissioners? Nunccoepi takes charge of the Portland offense in the form of Adrian St. Christmas, a pocket passing rookie QB. Portland’s rushing attack will be limited to Dobromil Dvorak, who has only 82 TPE at this point in the early season. They hope to run the offense through WRs Swantavius Torch, OLllie O’Donnell, Payton Wilhelm, Blibby Shpoopy, and Tight Ends L F.T and Turt Golum. Interestingly, both tight ends chose the blocking archetype. It will be interesting to see how they perform in the passing game and whether having some extra blocking power on the field can help Dvorak in the rushing game. A handful of players on this offense are earning very well, so I have no doubt this could become a really good offense. I just think they have a few holes to fill in first. Some additional help at RB and maybe some improved WR depth could turn this offense into a powerhouse.
Defense –
The Pythons have a lot more power on the defensive line than most, if not all, of the teams we have previewed so far. Boone McCoy clocks in over the cap and Absolute Unit is just below at 234 TPE. The linebackers have some strength as well, with Akaki Akayre sitting pretty at 345 TPE and Monty Ward chasing with 134 as an S37 create. The secondary is a little bit depleted, however, with cornerback Suggs Upshar II and safety Roma Amir-Kani looking to hold down the fort. Safeties Poopoo InPee and Inspector Gadget add some depth to the secondary.
Overall –
The Pythons have an interesting team makeup. I could see them putting together a pretty well rounded unit, but there is certainly some room for improvement and a few strategic waiver pickups could really strengthen this team. I am curious to see how they’ll hold up to the competition.
Norfolk Seawolves
Offense –
The Seawolves are lead by the speedy quarterback Pete Zuh (yes, pronounced like pizza). Zuh and the rest of the team are looking to defend their title from last season. The rest of the rushing attack is made of backs lead by Aaron Ford’s 67 TPE. Ford is followed by Sutton, King, and Emmanuel with 50 TPE each. The receiving group is lead by Thomas Robinson, who is returning as a send down with 348 TPE, a good bit ahead of Orion Jasper’s 98, who is a good deal ahead of Tommy Allen’s 50. Cardorino Tarotino tries to fill EEE’s shoes as a blocking tight end after the pro-bowler was summoned to the ISFL. Pilot RedSun handles the blocking duties with a nice 228 TPE, which I believe is the highest total so far in the article at the offensive line position.
Defense –
The Seawolves only have one human player on the defensive line: Matthew Mayhem. Mayhem and his 111 TPE look to terrorize opposing offensive lines. Linebacker Carissa van Campen is the sole linebacker on the team, but I am assured Carissa is more then up to the task, with a solid 389 TPE. Nightingale and Tingis Pingis handle the cornerbacking, with the send-down Nightingale sitting at 260 TPE and the newcomer Pingis rapidly making up ground at 160. Both safeties, Ja’uan Holland and Jasper Fontaine, are well over the cap and look to shore up the pass defense for the Seawolves. Orlando Doom covers the special teams duties with 255 TPE.
Overall –
The Seawolves, as I mentioned earlier, are coming off an Ultimini win and had the most players drafted in the first round last season (I believe four Seawolves went in the first 14 picks). The team has some weaknesses, namely from a lack of depth in the front seven. With only two players in that key group, they may have a hard time stopping the run. We will also see if Zuh’s legs are enough to power the team to victory, as the rest of the offense continues to develop around him. Depth is a question that the Seawolves will have to answer before we can start talking about a repeat trip to the championship game. The Seawolves are off to a good start, but they have a lot to prove down the stretch.
Minnesota Grey Ducks
Offense -
The Grey Ducks quarterback, Owen Farrell, is yet another senddown who is well beyond the DSFL cap. Farrell chose the Field General archetype, and will look to distribute the ball between Rockbot Rockbo, a capped receiver, and then a few players with 50 TPE in Shyhiem Walker and Leonal Shea. With that lack of depth, some of the running backs may have to fill in the gaps. The Incredible Bulk, a fullback, leads all ball carriers on the team with 227 TPE. Malcolm Graves, a speedster, has 138, and fellow speedster Lee King has 50. Jimmy Holding looks to pave the way for the rushers and keep the veteran QB clean by handling the blocking duties. Holding is painfully 1 TPE shy of the cap. Sorry bud. The grey ducks certainly have some talent. Their QB, RBs, one WR, and OL are all earning very well and can make a real impact. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a lack of depth that is particularly noticeable at RB. We will see if that holds them back, or if their star players can carry the rest of the offense throughout the season.
Defense –
Defensive Ends Aqeel Steele and Mike Scott look to have dominant seasons terrorizing quarterbacks and ball carriers. Both of these outstanding players are past the DSFL cap. Linebacker Gribbuh Fister looks to handle anyone who manages to get past those two, while Hunter Cloud is holding on for dear life at 50 TPE alongside Fister. Cornerback Bonzi Buddy is beyond the cap, but lined up across from Vader Page at 52 TPE. Fortunately, safeties Teemo Swift and Nate Winter are both beyond the cap and provide a solid safety net (get it?) should they be needed. Similar to the offense, the team has some real star power but sometimes lacks from depth at a few positions. That said, they have some strong players on the line and a really solid secondary to play with.
Overall –
The Grey Ducks have a bit of an issue with depth, BUT they have a lot of players in key positions who are at or very near the DSFL cap. They have a great QB, but not a ton of TPE in the receiving room. They have a really solid user at OL and some solid TPE at running back, though, so they should be able to strike a decent balance. The defense has a few high TPE players in the front seven, but not much outside of the defensive end position. The secondary is stacked, though, and that might be good enough to power them to the playoffs. I will certainly be keeping an eye on the Grey Ducks.
Tijuana Luchadores
Offense –
Tijuana’s quarterback, Delores Bickerman, hopes to make a name for themselves as a gunslinger. As a rookie, they will be looking to prove themselves this season against QBs who are already at the cap. Fortunately, Kya is a known thing and should keep up the earning. Kya has help in the form of Fullback Triple Option, who is past the cap, and CG Breezy at 226 TPE. And, if that isn’t enough, Gavin Kushers and Prince Shafer fill out the room at 52 and 50 TPE respectively. Maximilian Hamilton leads the WR room with Don Dobbler close behind (331 and 248 TPE respectively). Toby Hays and Drew Stowe round out the room. Richard Harden and Skratch Broke fill out the formations as the tight ends, with Harden looking like another good option at 177 TPE. And, if all that wasn’t enough to make you smile, THREE offensive linemen on the team sit above 200 TPE. This team is really hording all the big boys. Shoutout to Larry Jenkins, Dennis Rodman, and Pan Cakes (love the name) in the trenches. This offense is SCARY on paper. The only weak spot might be the rookie QB, but Bickerman already has 187 TPE and is earning fast.
Defense –
The defense starts off with defensive end D’Sqarius Green V (121 TPE), tackle Bunk McDunk (73 TPE) and tackle Sexy Wilfork (162 TPE). Linebackers Walter McKinley, Aikeek Dafootbawl, and Charlie Thorsen all sit near 200 TPE. Cornerbacks Donatello McTurtle and Mabel Pines are both past the cap. The only real weak spot here might be safety, with Kyzir Washington sitting at 199 and Deckerd DeShaw at 90. And a maxed kicker Savathun T. Witchqueen rounds things out. This defense is also pretty solid on paper. I’m officially scared of this team.
Overall –
Tijuana has a really solid team on paper. If they can piece it all together behind the scenes in testing and get the lucky bounces within the sim, this team could be really scary. I will be nervous watching my home team square off against the Luchadores, who are perhaps one of the most storied teams in the DSFL. They will certainly look to add to their impressive legacy with a team this good on paper.
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No pressure
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