Hello everyone. As the title suggests, yes, I have an addiction. I will explain it further (but not into too much detail) below, but first I wanted to give a heads up. If anything related to addiction and its consequences is a trigger for you or you are not comfortable with reading content that is NSFW, please refrain from reading the rest of this post. If you are ok with it, you can go ahead.
I wanted to come out and finally admit to not only myself, but also others. I am a porn addict. I understand that it is a very taboo topic (even though it is estimated that 5-8% of Americans suffer with this addiction in some capacity), but I wanted to briefly talk about it for a couple reasons:
That being said, I am an addict. I have been for about 6 years now (despite only being in my early 20s) and after months of back and forth, I have decided to truly take action to quit. I am writing this post because I hope that the sheer embarrassment of coming out with such taboo and generally awful behavior will allow me to finally allow my actions, in this case my addiction, to have consequences (since I have managed to keep in secret from friends and family for years and have no social, concrete consequences for my addiction until this point).
I also wanted to share a bit of my story.
Although I have always been a high-functioning addict, with my addiction not impacting major life functions such as my ability to socialize, study, work, or practice sports (all of which are of extreme importance to me), it has impacted my sex-drive and my sexual relationships since my early-mid teenage years, which until recently, I had not noticed at all, yet is now VERY clear to me. I had never had any trouble socializing, no matter gender or sexual preference. Yet now I see that it severely impacted my sex-drive during my teenage years (as in I was not, as a byproduct of what I was exposed to for years, as interested in pursuing sexual experiences as any of my friends and acquantainces (I understand this could be simply caused by asexuality, which is completely normal and happens often with people. In my case, however, I began to notice the difference in behavior between my periods of abstinence and indulgence in my addiction throughout the last couple of years).
I also had begun to become more affected with my addiction over the past few months, with a noticeable decrease in not only my libido, but desire to socialize, motivation, mood, and energy to keep up with my daily responsibilities. Despite my life improving in several aspects (professionally, socially, physically, etc.) I noticed all these negative feelings surrounding me despite achieving many of the goals that I set out for myself throughout my life as of recent. And I noticed how it directly correlated to my consumption of pornography.
Today, for many reasons, was my breaking point. I am tired of letting this control me.
I am going to slowly, but surely, work towards sobriety and start living a normal, healthy life.
To finish it off, a couple a few quick points.
Thank you,
Suggs.
I wanted to come out and finally admit to not only myself, but also others. I am a porn addict. I understand that it is a very taboo topic (even though it is estimated that 5-8% of Americans suffer with this addiction in some capacity), but I wanted to briefly talk about it for a couple reasons:
- To help those that may be suffering with the same issues to understand that it is a problem and may not know much about it. Despite its prevalence and impact on society, no one widely discusses this type of addiction as much as others such as alcoholism or smoking addictions (not that they are not important, they are in fact more prevalent and dangerous than porn addiction. I am just making a point for the lack of discussion on the subject at hand).
- So I can hold myself accountable as years of no accountability allowed me to develop this problem and sustain it for so long.
That being said, I am an addict. I have been for about 6 years now (despite only being in my early 20s) and after months of back and forth, I have decided to truly take action to quit. I am writing this post because I hope that the sheer embarrassment of coming out with such taboo and generally awful behavior will allow me to finally allow my actions, in this case my addiction, to have consequences (since I have managed to keep in secret from friends and family for years and have no social, concrete consequences for my addiction until this point).
I also wanted to share a bit of my story.
Although I have always been a high-functioning addict, with my addiction not impacting major life functions such as my ability to socialize, study, work, or practice sports (all of which are of extreme importance to me), it has impacted my sex-drive and my sexual relationships since my early-mid teenage years, which until recently, I had not noticed at all, yet is now VERY clear to me. I had never had any trouble socializing, no matter gender or sexual preference. Yet now I see that it severely impacted my sex-drive during my teenage years (as in I was not, as a byproduct of what I was exposed to for years, as interested in pursuing sexual experiences as any of my friends and acquantainces (I understand this could be simply caused by asexuality, which is completely normal and happens often with people. In my case, however, I began to notice the difference in behavior between my periods of abstinence and indulgence in my addiction throughout the last couple of years).
I also had begun to become more affected with my addiction over the past few months, with a noticeable decrease in not only my libido, but desire to socialize, motivation, mood, and energy to keep up with my daily responsibilities. Despite my life improving in several aspects (professionally, socially, physically, etc.) I noticed all these negative feelings surrounding me despite achieving many of the goals that I set out for myself throughout my life as of recent. And I noticed how it directly correlated to my consumption of pornography.
Today, for many reasons, was my breaking point. I am tired of letting this control me.
I am going to slowly, but surely, work towards sobriety and start living a normal, healthy life.
To finish it off, a couple a few quick points.
- If you suffer from an addiction, be it pornography or something else, please seek help. Some addictions can be stopped with sheer self-determination and working on one’s self, depending on how bad it is. Some, however, require professional support (which is not something to be ashamed of). Whatever your need is, please, seek help. So many people have overcome terrible addictions throughout history, and so many will in the future. Let us be part of that future and regain control of our own bodies and minds. Seek help. I believe in you. We all do.
- This is not something I will be openly discussing in the future. I am not someone who likes to open up their private life on the internet, as I have avoided doing previously, especially on the forums. I am posting this, however, because of its importance for myself and the community. I will still be the old Suggs, who likes to talk about football, stats, Weddle (shoutout London), and everything Portland Pythons (go sneks).
- I would never have this platform and feel somewhat comfortable talking about such a delicate subject if the ISFL did not have an insane amount of amazing users that put a lot of work and effort into making this community feel inclusive and supportive of each other. Thank you to all of those in HO, who work so hard to ensure the league remains that way, and those outside of HO, who put a lot of effort (even if unconsciously) to make the league a great place to be.
Thank you,
Suggs.