11-01-2022, 08:25 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2022, 02:01 AM by dude_man. Edited 1 time in total.)
The camera turns on and we see a familiar scene behind a green screen. Two lovely and comfy as hell looking leather chairs are present with a small coffee table with a small potted plant that totally is not made of plastic and two small glasses of water. Eventually MC Hammer, El Ef Tee are sitting down on each of their respective chairs.
This will actually be the first interview with all three individuals which is quite surprising since they are not all rookies. But here we go!
El Ef Tee is a former Portland Pythons and Minnesota Grey Ducks player and currently a Safety on the amazing Berlin Fire Salamanders and finally new rookie MC Hammer is Minnesota Grey Ducks.
So let us do introductions of these people!
LFT: The Laz’s full name is Laszlo Forty-Two. Mr. Forty-Two has played many positions over the seasons and is now time to give Defensive Back its proper go. Laszlo Forty-Two only missing Quarter Back out of this sports positions now when you include Dev Sim Football League seasons with Portland Pythons and the respectable Minnesota Grey Ducks team, Super Casual Football Sim League with all time sacks and best defensive player career and hopefully team hall of fame aspirations with only the Berlin Fire Salamanders.
LFT is now feeling his age and will be done once he helps the Lizards that are on fire with future foreseeable seasons.
MC Hammer: What the fuck is up buttercups, it’s me MC Hammer, back at it again, being interviewed and I have some big news! I have been acquired in the Development Sim Football League via a waiver! I am going to be playing for the Minnesota Grey Ducks in the near future. Now back to the introductions! I I am just a new guy trying to make a splash in the Development Sim Football League and hopefully catch the eye of some International Sim Football League teams! Hopefully I can make myself and my family proud! Oh and I am also a member of the Hammer family. You might know my brothers who have already made a name for themselves here in the Developmental Simulation Football League and the International Simulation Football League. So hopefully I can walk in their footsteps and set the leagues alight with my plays.
Why did you pick the chosen position you are playing and would you be willing to switch in the future?
LFT: I was a Tight End and wanted to do just a Tight End career. The Laz does not care if the terrible sim hated the Tight End position. He would have played an entire career in that position. But then Laszlo Forty-Two met and avoided every bullet to join the Berlin Fire Salamanders who are the best people. So when they ask Mr. Forty-Two “Please! Come be a Safety for us!” He will do it for them. He will even do interviews nobody will bother reading for more money.
MC Hammer: Honestly, I was never really good at any sport and never really excelled at those kinds of things. I was given a chance to try out at my high school’s american football tryouts, I figured I would just give it a wee go. I first started off as kicker, but damn, I was really really rough out there. I can’t kick the ball to save my life! Granted I figured that trying for kicker was the way to go. Honestly, I want to shout out to my high school coach, because he saw I was awful at kicker and instead of turning me away, my coach legit told me to try out a different role and see what I could do. So we had eventually landed on Linebacker. Coach just thought he saw a lot of potential in me as a leader on the defense and with my play recognition. Ever since then I kind of just took it in stride. I pride myself on being able to recognise plays and try and use my speed to try and get myself in the best position to make a play. I for sure need to work on my tackling cause when I do rush I struggle to bring the QB down but that is just something we can learn over time. Maybe I just need to focus on the basics, first make sure I get to the QB and then worry about bringing them down later. I also need to work on my hands. I feel like I can get into coverage just fine, just need to make sure I can convert potential picks into actual interceptions. Anyways I am rambling, I play linebacker and I like playing it!
Name your favourite colour!
Laszlo Forty-Two: It is blue. Reminds him of the sky. Laszlo Forty-Two likes the sky and beautiful scenery. Even strong men who break puny catchers have soft spot in their hearts.
MC Hammer: Honestly, I got to go with blue like Laszlo Forty-Two. The blue skies are always motivating to me and I do not really know why. There is just something about looking into the beautiful blue sky that fills me determination. It is either that or green! But I like green because of someone very near and dear to my heart!
Tell us about your family and if you have any close connections within the league
Laszlo Forty-Two: Lazzy has connection with the season that helped the silly league realise what high TPE Offensive Liners can do for cheaper than bots. So connection to every Offensive Linemen exists. Better Linemen exist now and The Laz is proud of them all but those were very rough times with a lot of teams not wanting them.
Tay Swizzle and the rest of the Portland Pythons are close family to Laszlo Forty-Two now. They are great people and proud of Tay Swizzle’s career at the respectable Chicago Butchers and the ring they got. A few people within Super Casual Football Sim Leagues would be applicable too but not need to bring them up in this.
Past that it would be the cult itself. Many people know Isaac Forty-One and Jose Forty-Three. A good number of people will know Owen Forty-Four as well. But a lot of other sports cultists have been going for the same amount of time. Not to mention the other individuals that are acceptable fighters or from interesting places with interesting stories. Mr. Forty-Two refuses to mention those people here though.
MC Hammer: I would like to think that I have a close connection with my brothers in this league. Even if they do ignore me when I try to ask for advice! Do not worry, it is just a Hammers thing, But yeah other than my family here I have another family member that is in a different league! He actually was a big reason as to why I tried to push for the Developmental Simulation Football League. It is none other than the Outer Banks Aviators Urs Schneider! Urs Schneider is actually my 2nd cousin. So when I saw that he had made the trip all the way Carolina, I knew I just had to hit him up once again and just get back in touch! We used to spend a lot of time together when we were younger as I used to visit Switzerland a lot. Urs Schneider is the star shortstop for the Outer Bank Aviators and honestly just having him say that he believed in me was a big reason for me to keep pushing myself. There was a general fear that I was not going to be able to make the next step in my career. Thankfully Urs Schneider and the Hammer bros had my back. Anything I do here will be in my families’ honour. I want to make plays and I want to make them proud! That is a very common theme for me haha
What are your goals for the rest of this season?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz will just continue doing what he has always done. A simple rule: Just win the next game in front of him and crush whoever he is against. He believes that Berlin are about to enter huge window of competitiveness and hopefully it goes well and the terrible dot random number generator likes Berlin for a few games in a row. Then once we are in our peak we will see how it cucks said Berlin team.
Should be fun. The Goal this season is just see what happens and focus on the bigger picture in the future. Perhaps The Laz will focus on what MC Hammer is doing for Grey Chicken team in the Dev Sim Football League.
MC Hammer: Hey man, I appreciate you wanting to check out my career! I am 100% going to be keeping an eye on the Berlin Fire Salamanders! I have heard so many fantastic things about you pal. Glad we can share the floor together. I know I kept quiet, but I can not just stay quiet the whole time. You are an absolute beast out here in the league. In terms of my goals for this season, well… Honestly I have no idea! The sky is the limit as far as I am concerned. I just want to focus on getting to my team first! I have a flight booked for Minnesota first thing in the morning so honestly i have only been thinking about packing haha. I kind of just want to be able to prove myself to the Minnesota Grey Ducks first and then from there awards and accolades should follow, hopefully! Like I always say, individual awards in a sense are just team awards, because I would not be in a position to win an award if it was not for the team all doing their jobs and sticking to the plan! It is all about organisation.
What do you think about the other person?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two will be watching a puny man who reminds him of an Italy based plumber with interest. He could be very good and become a legend or just another person The Laz lives rent free in a puny head.
Very, very happy to see him land on Grey Ducks and not some of the other teams. They are not the Portland Pythons but Grey Ducks have lovely people and some of the better people going. Mr. Laszlo wishes them and him best of luck with the remaining season and we shall see where he ends up.
Random shout out to General Manager Dewalt for genuinely being one of the best General Managers going in this league. He is approachable, lovely to just chat with and building a great team. Laszlo said he would give this lovely person a random shout out in the locker room and Laszlo has delivered it.
I have also been told to give a shout out to my fav kicker at Yellow Knife Wraiths called Double Doink. So hello.
MC Hammer: Oh damn… Well I am like above average for my height, but yeah I mean I appreciate the vote of confidence Mr Forty-Two! Hopefully you do not become someone that lives rent free in my head haha, but yeah honestly I am super hyped to be on the Grey Ducks and I hope to be able to make a splash in the league. But yeah I think Laszlo is a good dude. A little scary for sure, but he means well and gets the job done for their coaches and their team! I have heard great things about Mr Forty-Two or maybe people are just super afraid of them, I am not entirely sure. He seems great though! Very lovable in their own way and very fun in their own way
What is your stance on regression?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Regression comes for us all. Except for that one random Prospect League player but that Jose is just built differently and regression fears him. Past that one 100 TPE player that has more rings than everyone it reminds me of a very old and long term saying most people accurately put regression into words.
Regression is theft.
MC Hammer: Honestly, what even is regression haha. Nah in all seriousness, I lie awake at night in fear of me just unconsciously losing my ability to play. It really does keep me awake at night and I hope I can stay away from it. Regression truly is theft, but it is inevitable and it will come for us all
What did you dress up as for Halloween this year?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz did not dress up. People dress up as Laszlo Forty-Two instead. He likes seeing fans dress as him. Makes him realise what big hero he is for puny puny children.
MC Hammer: So I went as shaggy from the hit comedy series and movie Scooby Doo! A bunch of my friends got together and we decided to all go as members from the famous mystery crew! It makes it even better that my dog looks a lot like the same breed as Scooby Doo, so we just had to walk around with him and it sort of completed the look! Honestly though we just all got dressed up and ended up just hanging out in the house in a very low key chill manner!
What team has the best branding within the International Sim Football League?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Berlin Fire Salamanders and the Portland Pythons. However, The Laz and puny Hammer tool man have plans on doing a podcast on this place to earn money and first said discussion will be him breaking down the brands and who he likes and who he hates branding wise. Will be interesting to hear from late blooming player in this draft class.
MC Hammer: Oh I actually have not really had much of a look at the brandings within the International Sim Football League. As Laszlo so eloquently has said, we are planning on doing a podcast together to earn some money and just take a deeper dive on all the brandings. So I think that would be a lot of fun so you guys can hear me! But at the top of my head I have to rep my team the Minnesota Grey Ducks! I love me some ducks and I am a big fan! But yeah as I said, I will be looking into the teams in more detail and that will come out in a podcast! I do not imagine that there will be any teams brandings that I dislike! There will just be some that I appreciate a lot more than others! I never intend to offend anyone so I will just say from a quick glance, all the brandings look pretty neat! So good job everyone, you smashed it with the brandings
Okay, and that will be it just for now ladies and gents! We will sadly be hearing a heck of a lot more from these two in the future and especially during double media. But please feel free to something something sponsorship sounds and advertisements and all that good stuff.
Any closing statements from these players before we leave?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No. I have no words at all.
MC Hammer: So yeah thanks everyone for stopping by! Always fun to hang out with you guys and do interviews. You guys always make it seem so fun and effortless! I am also grateful that Laszlo Forty-Two was kind enough to spend time with me today and answer some questions, it was super cool getting to know you better! So thank you again audience for keeping in touch, with love with care, I have been MC Hammer and I will see you out on the field!
Okay, we are done!
[2610 words roughly. Gives @Aneeqs 50% of the payout please.]
This will actually be the first interview with all three individuals which is quite surprising since they are not all rookies. But here we go!
El Ef Tee is a former Portland Pythons and Minnesota Grey Ducks player and currently a Safety on the amazing Berlin Fire Salamanders and finally new rookie MC Hammer is Minnesota Grey Ducks.
So let us do introductions of these people!
LFT: The Laz’s full name is Laszlo Forty-Two. Mr. Forty-Two has played many positions over the seasons and is now time to give Defensive Back its proper go. Laszlo Forty-Two only missing Quarter Back out of this sports positions now when you include Dev Sim Football League seasons with Portland Pythons and the respectable Minnesota Grey Ducks team, Super Casual Football Sim League with all time sacks and best defensive player career and hopefully team hall of fame aspirations with only the Berlin Fire Salamanders.
LFT is now feeling his age and will be done once he helps the Lizards that are on fire with future foreseeable seasons.
MC Hammer: What the fuck is up buttercups, it’s me MC Hammer, back at it again, being interviewed and I have some big news! I have been acquired in the Development Sim Football League via a waiver! I am going to be playing for the Minnesota Grey Ducks in the near future. Now back to the introductions! I I am just a new guy trying to make a splash in the Development Sim Football League and hopefully catch the eye of some International Sim Football League teams! Hopefully I can make myself and my family proud! Oh and I am also a member of the Hammer family. You might know my brothers who have already made a name for themselves here in the Developmental Simulation Football League and the International Simulation Football League. So hopefully I can walk in their footsteps and set the leagues alight with my plays.
Why did you pick the chosen position you are playing and would you be willing to switch in the future?
LFT: I was a Tight End and wanted to do just a Tight End career. The Laz does not care if the terrible sim hated the Tight End position. He would have played an entire career in that position. But then Laszlo Forty-Two met and avoided every bullet to join the Berlin Fire Salamanders who are the best people. So when they ask Mr. Forty-Two “Please! Come be a Safety for us!” He will do it for them. He will even do interviews nobody will bother reading for more money.
MC Hammer: Honestly, I was never really good at any sport and never really excelled at those kinds of things. I was given a chance to try out at my high school’s american football tryouts, I figured I would just give it a wee go. I first started off as kicker, but damn, I was really really rough out there. I can’t kick the ball to save my life! Granted I figured that trying for kicker was the way to go. Honestly, I want to shout out to my high school coach, because he saw I was awful at kicker and instead of turning me away, my coach legit told me to try out a different role and see what I could do. So we had eventually landed on Linebacker. Coach just thought he saw a lot of potential in me as a leader on the defense and with my play recognition. Ever since then I kind of just took it in stride. I pride myself on being able to recognise plays and try and use my speed to try and get myself in the best position to make a play. I for sure need to work on my tackling cause when I do rush I struggle to bring the QB down but that is just something we can learn over time. Maybe I just need to focus on the basics, first make sure I get to the QB and then worry about bringing them down later. I also need to work on my hands. I feel like I can get into coverage just fine, just need to make sure I can convert potential picks into actual interceptions. Anyways I am rambling, I play linebacker and I like playing it!
Name your favourite colour!
Laszlo Forty-Two: It is blue. Reminds him of the sky. Laszlo Forty-Two likes the sky and beautiful scenery. Even strong men who break puny catchers have soft spot in their hearts.
MC Hammer: Honestly, I got to go with blue like Laszlo Forty-Two. The blue skies are always motivating to me and I do not really know why. There is just something about looking into the beautiful blue sky that fills me determination. It is either that or green! But I like green because of someone very near and dear to my heart!
Tell us about your family and if you have any close connections within the league
Laszlo Forty-Two: Lazzy has connection with the season that helped the silly league realise what high TPE Offensive Liners can do for cheaper than bots. So connection to every Offensive Linemen exists. Better Linemen exist now and The Laz is proud of them all but those were very rough times with a lot of teams not wanting them.
Tay Swizzle and the rest of the Portland Pythons are close family to Laszlo Forty-Two now. They are great people and proud of Tay Swizzle’s career at the respectable Chicago Butchers and the ring they got. A few people within Super Casual Football Sim Leagues would be applicable too but not need to bring them up in this.
Past that it would be the cult itself. Many people know Isaac Forty-One and Jose Forty-Three. A good number of people will know Owen Forty-Four as well. But a lot of other sports cultists have been going for the same amount of time. Not to mention the other individuals that are acceptable fighters or from interesting places with interesting stories. Mr. Forty-Two refuses to mention those people here though.
MC Hammer: I would like to think that I have a close connection with my brothers in this league. Even if they do ignore me when I try to ask for advice! Do not worry, it is just a Hammers thing, But yeah other than my family here I have another family member that is in a different league! He actually was a big reason as to why I tried to push for the Developmental Simulation Football League. It is none other than the Outer Banks Aviators Urs Schneider! Urs Schneider is actually my 2nd cousin. So when I saw that he had made the trip all the way Carolina, I knew I just had to hit him up once again and just get back in touch! We used to spend a lot of time together when we were younger as I used to visit Switzerland a lot. Urs Schneider is the star shortstop for the Outer Bank Aviators and honestly just having him say that he believed in me was a big reason for me to keep pushing myself. There was a general fear that I was not going to be able to make the next step in my career. Thankfully Urs Schneider and the Hammer bros had my back. Anything I do here will be in my families’ honour. I want to make plays and I want to make them proud! That is a very common theme for me haha
What are your goals for the rest of this season?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz will just continue doing what he has always done. A simple rule: Just win the next game in front of him and crush whoever he is against. He believes that Berlin are about to enter huge window of competitiveness and hopefully it goes well and the terrible dot random number generator likes Berlin for a few games in a row. Then once we are in our peak we will see how it cucks said Berlin team.
Should be fun. The Goal this season is just see what happens and focus on the bigger picture in the future. Perhaps The Laz will focus on what MC Hammer is doing for Grey Chicken team in the Dev Sim Football League.
MC Hammer: Hey man, I appreciate you wanting to check out my career! I am 100% going to be keeping an eye on the Berlin Fire Salamanders! I have heard so many fantastic things about you pal. Glad we can share the floor together. I know I kept quiet, but I can not just stay quiet the whole time. You are an absolute beast out here in the league. In terms of my goals for this season, well… Honestly I have no idea! The sky is the limit as far as I am concerned. I just want to focus on getting to my team first! I have a flight booked for Minnesota first thing in the morning so honestly i have only been thinking about packing haha. I kind of just want to be able to prove myself to the Minnesota Grey Ducks first and then from there awards and accolades should follow, hopefully! Like I always say, individual awards in a sense are just team awards, because I would not be in a position to win an award if it was not for the team all doing their jobs and sticking to the plan! It is all about organisation.
What do you think about the other person?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Laszlo Forty-Two will be watching a puny man who reminds him of an Italy based plumber with interest. He could be very good and become a legend or just another person The Laz lives rent free in a puny head.
Very, very happy to see him land on Grey Ducks and not some of the other teams. They are not the Portland Pythons but Grey Ducks have lovely people and some of the better people going. Mr. Laszlo wishes them and him best of luck with the remaining season and we shall see where he ends up.
Random shout out to General Manager Dewalt for genuinely being one of the best General Managers going in this league. He is approachable, lovely to just chat with and building a great team. Laszlo said he would give this lovely person a random shout out in the locker room and Laszlo has delivered it.
I have also been told to give a shout out to my fav kicker at Yellow Knife Wraiths called Double Doink. So hello.
MC Hammer: Oh damn… Well I am like above average for my height, but yeah I mean I appreciate the vote of confidence Mr Forty-Two! Hopefully you do not become someone that lives rent free in my head haha, but yeah honestly I am super hyped to be on the Grey Ducks and I hope to be able to make a splash in the league. But yeah I think Laszlo is a good dude. A little scary for sure, but he means well and gets the job done for their coaches and their team! I have heard great things about Mr Forty-Two or maybe people are just super afraid of them, I am not entirely sure. He seems great though! Very lovable in their own way and very fun in their own way
What is your stance on regression?
Laszlo Forty-Two: Regression comes for us all. Except for that one random Prospect League player but that Jose is just built differently and regression fears him. Past that one 100 TPE player that has more rings than everyone it reminds me of a very old and long term saying most people accurately put regression into words.
Regression is theft.
MC Hammer: Honestly, what even is regression haha. Nah in all seriousness, I lie awake at night in fear of me just unconsciously losing my ability to play. It really does keep me awake at night and I hope I can stay away from it. Regression truly is theft, but it is inevitable and it will come for us all
What did you dress up as for Halloween this year?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Laz did not dress up. People dress up as Laszlo Forty-Two instead. He likes seeing fans dress as him. Makes him realise what big hero he is for puny puny children.
MC Hammer: So I went as shaggy from the hit comedy series and movie Scooby Doo! A bunch of my friends got together and we decided to all go as members from the famous mystery crew! It makes it even better that my dog looks a lot like the same breed as Scooby Doo, so we just had to walk around with him and it sort of completed the look! Honestly though we just all got dressed up and ended up just hanging out in the house in a very low key chill manner!
What team has the best branding within the International Sim Football League?
Laszlo Forty-Two: The Berlin Fire Salamanders and the Portland Pythons. However, The Laz and puny Hammer tool man have plans on doing a podcast on this place to earn money and first said discussion will be him breaking down the brands and who he likes and who he hates branding wise. Will be interesting to hear from late blooming player in this draft class.
MC Hammer: Oh I actually have not really had much of a look at the brandings within the International Sim Football League. As Laszlo so eloquently has said, we are planning on doing a podcast together to earn some money and just take a deeper dive on all the brandings. So I think that would be a lot of fun so you guys can hear me! But at the top of my head I have to rep my team the Minnesota Grey Ducks! I love me some ducks and I am a big fan! But yeah as I said, I will be looking into the teams in more detail and that will come out in a podcast! I do not imagine that there will be any teams brandings that I dislike! There will just be some that I appreciate a lot more than others! I never intend to offend anyone so I will just say from a quick glance, all the brandings look pretty neat! So good job everyone, you smashed it with the brandings
Okay, and that will be it just for now ladies and gents! We will sadly be hearing a heck of a lot more from these two in the future and especially during double media. But please feel free to something something sponsorship sounds and advertisements and all that good stuff.
Any closing statements from these players before we leave?
Laszlo Forty-Two: No. I have no words at all.
MC Hammer: So yeah thanks everyone for stopping by! Always fun to hang out with you guys and do interviews. You guys always make it seem so fun and effortless! I am also grateful that Laszlo Forty-Two was kind enough to spend time with me today and answer some questions, it was super cool getting to know you better! So thank you again audience for keeping in touch, with love with care, I have been MC Hammer and I will see you out on the field!
Okay, we are done!
[2610 words roughly. Gives @Aneeqs 50% of the payout please.]