12-20-2022, 12:54 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-22-2022, 11:10 AM by Aneeqs. Edited 1 time in total.)
With the ISFL's recent Liberty rebranding and the NFL's own Washington Football Team getting renamed to the Commies, I thought it would be fun to think about how the different ISFL team nicknames would do in an NFL context. I'm mostly thinking of "How would this name do if a new team was starting with it in the 2023 NFL season" which does limit things a little bit more given the advertising implications of the current team environments. I do try to mention for some names that I think would be fine if they were already in the league, but base my ratings mostly on suitability as a new name.
ASFC
Outlaws
Rating: Fine. I think the Outlaws slot in much like the Raiders where there's an implication of not legal activity but backed up by a mythos that makes it a decent nickname. The concept of an outlaw is of course more directly illegal than a raider, but the name and branding go along with the US wild west setting to allow for ambiguity - an outlaw is not always a villain. Han Solo is clearly an outlaw, as one example. I could see it being a little harder for a new team, especially when thinking about a bank or something getting the naming rights to the stadium, but I think it'd do fine as an established brand.
Copperheads
Rating: Fine. The (MLB) Diamondbacks show that a specific snake species can work as a nickname, though NFL teams in Texas seem to have a particular predilection for being groups of people (Texans, Cowboys, Oilers), so hopefully there's no simmering dislike for animal names or anything. Doesn't have a great short form (or at least I'm not loving "Heads" "Cops," or "Coppies") which stops it from being great I think. Might be a little geographically limited, though I think copperheads are found in basically the entire south west of the US so it's probably fine.
Hahalua
Rating: Poor. For a new nickname, I think this suffers from a lack of national recognition (doesn't have a wikipedia page under that name), people not being sure how to pronounce it (based on the early streams I've listened to), and so on. Unless it was a long-established brand, I'd expect any ownership group to go with a more generic Manta Rays or Rays nickname and try to use Hahalua as a color rush or some other alternate name. And even if they were established, I could see potential for marketing pressure to change like the Knicks where their official name would technically be the Hahalua but most fans/branding call them the Rays/Mantas.
Secondline
Rating: Poor. Very much a local nickname, so could potentially be well-loved so long as the franchise's name selection can predate current market forces (see also: Browns), but I feel like it would be really hard to use starting out. Also doesn't have a great short form (though "Sec-sies" could be fun for fans and "Liners" would be decent so long as they aren't playing against Detroit). Might also be locally recognized in the same way the 49ers are (in what I assume people who didn't take California history have no idea where the name comes from) which could make it a stronger regional choice than I (having not lived in New Orleans). Niners vs. Liners could be fun, too? One little nuance that I think would probably be more of a problem than a benefit is the similarity to the offensive/defensive line name - I could see casual fans being even more confused that normal when dealing with all the positional groups, but I could see maybe coming up with the one that isn't on the field acting like backup, or maybe trying to count the fans as the actual second line behind the defense in a New Orleans-style twelfth man kind of thing? I don't know enough about NO and the details of the meaning to really determine if that's too much of a stretch, though.
Silverbacks
Rating: Poor. Borderline to me for a lot of reasons - on the upside, it's a fairly interesting name/image, I like the idea of their stadium naming being one of those men's hair dye companies, and silver just isn't used enough in names. However on the downside, it sounds a little similar to a racial slur, it's an animal type not called as such very often (though I think it's more interesting than just "Gorillas"), and it's missing a great shorter nickname ("Silvs"?). I could see a marketing/research project to see about tying more directly to the King Kong name for the bonus NYC association if they could figure out a license somehow, but that's kinda a different direction. Still, while I think it has issues I think they might be easier to work around than some of the other teams' regional focus concerns.
Otters
Rating: Good. Otters are fairly well known (commonly in zoos, etc) and are commonly described as "cute", two syllables works well, what's not to like? Pretty much the only issue I can see is that Otters are on the smaller side for football mammal mascots, but unless we're going to bring PBE-style "if your mascots fight..." writing prompts into the NFL then I'm not worried.
SaberCats
Rating: Fine. In my experience, I think I'd expect to see "Saber-toothed Cat" as the slightly more common description of the animal in question. Shortening it to SaberCats works fairly well as a nickname - still gets the point across and I feel that most people get the idea that the sabers in question are the teeth and not like the cats suddenly grabbing a sword and swinging it. You also get the team's choice of "Sabers" or "Cats" as a shorter nickname, so that's pretty solid for shortening options. I do think the rough edges are just enough to knock it down to fine from good, but I definitely think it's on the borderline high side.
NSFC
Hawks
Rating: Poor. Hawks as a nickname clearly works for a sports team and so it's certainly good there. The real obstacle with this as an NFL pick in particular is that there's already the Seahawks which use "Hawks" as the short nickname, so I think the names being so close would push away any other team from using it. I could be overestimating how big of a downside this is - the Colts and Broncos both exist and fans aren't too confused by both team nicknames being horses. Still, I think that if you did want to go in a hawkwardly direction you'd want to have a specific type (Sparrowhawk, Harrier, Red-tailed Hawk) or tie it to the local city in some way rather than having just the plain Hawk nickname.
Fire Salamanders
Rating: Fine. A bit of a mouthful with no great short version ('Manders? Sallies? Sals?) but I think it definitely stands out which makes it borderline fine rather than poor. The NFL has no amphibian nicknames right now, and I think going specifically with the Fire version of it opens the door for a lot of fun with the mythological side of the nickname. Plus, think of the pyrotechnics! That does bring up my next concern, though, which is that I could see the team going all-in on the fire part and picking Dragons instead as a more recognizable name that hits a lot of similar points while only having two syllables. Might come down to owner preferences or the different ways each would be more or less tied to the city, but I think Fire Salamanders at least has character so I'm rounding it up to fine.
Crash
Rating: Fine. If Philly Cape Town had gone with Rhinos, this would be good. Teams tend to use the plural of the singular animal and not the official "group of animal" name (though the Baltimore Conspiracy is an interesting option...), and so breaking away from convention and using a group name that, to me, is one of the less common ones seems like straying a bit far from convention for a typical NFL team's sense of financial risk taking. I do think a rhino is a generally good match with NFL play, and the Crash name does evoke the post-snap collisions between the offensive and defensive lines, but that sound/experience isn't tied enough to the image/animal for me to bring it back up to good. I might be underrating this nickname just due to the novelty factor, so I'll keep my eye open to see if it grows more natural through a couple ISFL seasons.
Butchers
Rating: Poor. In a league that has the Packers, I don't think Butchers is a wildly out there nickname. However, I do think that trying to use that for a new team would probably not go over will with the more direct blood/meat direction of the name, plus possible ties into either historical incidents/massacres or more modern violent incidents. I think it would absolutely work if the Bears had picked this name when they were founded instead and I don't think you'd see anyone pushing to change it now, but I think it's violent sounding enough to push away some advertisers and therefore more owners.
Yeti
Rating: Good. Well-known critter, two syllables, easy to have a mascot of, and allows for the fun nickname of Yeeti when you have a good passer. The biggest problem I can think of with Yeti is honestly that the various beef jerky commercials using the Sasquatch might be annoyed at you and not want to do a partnership, so figuring out what they think in advance might be a good move. The second biggest problem is that I personally prefer something related to the nickname on the helmet rather than something related to the location and I don't think a Yeti does well as a decal. Clearly very minor problems, and I think this is possibly the easiest direct-to-NFL nicknames in the ISFL.
Liberty
Rating: Fine (unless you tried to have the team outside of Philly). While the name has been retired in the ISFL, I came up with the idea for the article before that so I'm still going to include the previous version of Cape Town's nickname. Liberty to me is an interesting different take on the Philly situation. You have the 76ers to focus on the individuals involved, while Liberty is a more abstract collective but still tied to the city. I think it would be amusingly pretentious in pretty much any other city, so I would have to rate it as a poor name for general use in the NFL. I could also see some current-day issues if they used a short nickname of the Libs, since that's tied a bit more directly to a politically liberal direction now and so I could see an owner wanting something that's harder to related to politics. I could actually see taking the Liberty name but focusing more on the bell itself and going with "Bells of Liberty" (short nickname: Bells) for a new team. Might be a little too weird to go with an object though?
Sailfish
Rating: Good. I think the Sailfish would work great as an NFL name. Florida has plenty of aquaticly named teams including the NFL's Dolphins, so Sailfish works perfectly fine there or presumably in various other coastal locations. The biggest issue I can think of is that people will wonder what the difference between a sailfish and a marlin is. Depending on where the team ends up being, I could see there being a lot of jokes with the interplay of sail - if they became rivals of the Buccaneers, "take in the sail" would have a bit of a different meaning than the normal ship one, but I don't think there's anything concerning in that direction.
Wraiths
Rating: Fine. Very spooky name, but works fine if a bit generically. I think Wraiths is a good pick where it's more interesting than ghosts while not going full "I need to pull up a D&D manual and/or a mythology book" like some spooky options would be. Not really tied to any specific area, which might make it hard to get the nod from an owner vs. other more local options, unless the expansion city happens to have some history of haunting. In the current version of the logo/colors I could see the similarity to the Raiders maybe being a bit of a problem and getting the NFL to ask for a different take on it - maybe making the blue the primary with black and silver as accents instead, or going with a version of the logo that is less of a face? I might be overindexing on that similarity, though.
Conclusion
Every ISFL team name is still better than "Commanders".
ASFC
Outlaws
Rating: Fine. I think the Outlaws slot in much like the Raiders where there's an implication of not legal activity but backed up by a mythos that makes it a decent nickname. The concept of an outlaw is of course more directly illegal than a raider, but the name and branding go along with the US wild west setting to allow for ambiguity - an outlaw is not always a villain. Han Solo is clearly an outlaw, as one example. I could see it being a little harder for a new team, especially when thinking about a bank or something getting the naming rights to the stadium, but I think it'd do fine as an established brand.
Copperheads
Rating: Fine. The (MLB) Diamondbacks show that a specific snake species can work as a nickname, though NFL teams in Texas seem to have a particular predilection for being groups of people (Texans, Cowboys, Oilers), so hopefully there's no simmering dislike for animal names or anything. Doesn't have a great short form (or at least I'm not loving "Heads" "Cops," or "Coppies") which stops it from being great I think. Might be a little geographically limited, though I think copperheads are found in basically the entire south west of the US so it's probably fine.
Hahalua
Rating: Poor. For a new nickname, I think this suffers from a lack of national recognition (doesn't have a wikipedia page under that name), people not being sure how to pronounce it (based on the early streams I've listened to), and so on. Unless it was a long-established brand, I'd expect any ownership group to go with a more generic Manta Rays or Rays nickname and try to use Hahalua as a color rush or some other alternate name. And even if they were established, I could see potential for marketing pressure to change like the Knicks where their official name would technically be the Hahalua but most fans/branding call them the Rays/Mantas.
Secondline
Rating: Poor. Very much a local nickname, so could potentially be well-loved so long as the franchise's name selection can predate current market forces (see also: Browns), but I feel like it would be really hard to use starting out. Also doesn't have a great short form (though "Sec-sies" could be fun for fans and "Liners" would be decent so long as they aren't playing against Detroit). Might also be locally recognized in the same way the 49ers are (in what I assume people who didn't take California history have no idea where the name comes from) which could make it a stronger regional choice than I (having not lived in New Orleans). Niners vs. Liners could be fun, too? One little nuance that I think would probably be more of a problem than a benefit is the similarity to the offensive/defensive line name - I could see casual fans being even more confused that normal when dealing with all the positional groups, but I could see maybe coming up with the one that isn't on the field acting like backup, or maybe trying to count the fans as the actual second line behind the defense in a New Orleans-style twelfth man kind of thing? I don't know enough about NO and the details of the meaning to really determine if that's too much of a stretch, though.
Silverbacks
Rating: Poor. Borderline to me for a lot of reasons - on the upside, it's a fairly interesting name/image, I like the idea of their stadium naming being one of those men's hair dye companies, and silver just isn't used enough in names. However on the downside, it sounds a little similar to a racial slur, it's an animal type not called as such very often (though I think it's more interesting than just "Gorillas"), and it's missing a great shorter nickname ("Silvs"?). I could see a marketing/research project to see about tying more directly to the King Kong name for the bonus NYC association if they could figure out a license somehow, but that's kinda a different direction. Still, while I think it has issues I think they might be easier to work around than some of the other teams' regional focus concerns.
Otters
Rating: Good. Otters are fairly well known (commonly in zoos, etc) and are commonly described as "cute", two syllables works well, what's not to like? Pretty much the only issue I can see is that Otters are on the smaller side for football mammal mascots, but unless we're going to bring PBE-style "if your mascots fight..." writing prompts into the NFL then I'm not worried.
SaberCats
Rating: Fine. In my experience, I think I'd expect to see "Saber-toothed Cat" as the slightly more common description of the animal in question. Shortening it to SaberCats works fairly well as a nickname - still gets the point across and I feel that most people get the idea that the sabers in question are the teeth and not like the cats suddenly grabbing a sword and swinging it. You also get the team's choice of "Sabers" or "Cats" as a shorter nickname, so that's pretty solid for shortening options. I do think the rough edges are just enough to knock it down to fine from good, but I definitely think it's on the borderline high side.
NSFC
Hawks
Rating: Poor. Hawks as a nickname clearly works for a sports team and so it's certainly good there. The real obstacle with this as an NFL pick in particular is that there's already the Seahawks which use "Hawks" as the short nickname, so I think the names being so close would push away any other team from using it. I could be overestimating how big of a downside this is - the Colts and Broncos both exist and fans aren't too confused by both team nicknames being horses. Still, I think that if you did want to go in a hawkwardly direction you'd want to have a specific type (Sparrowhawk, Harrier, Red-tailed Hawk) or tie it to the local city in some way rather than having just the plain Hawk nickname.
Fire Salamanders
Rating: Fine. A bit of a mouthful with no great short version ('Manders? Sallies? Sals?) but I think it definitely stands out which makes it borderline fine rather than poor. The NFL has no amphibian nicknames right now, and I think going specifically with the Fire version of it opens the door for a lot of fun with the mythological side of the nickname. Plus, think of the pyrotechnics! That does bring up my next concern, though, which is that I could see the team going all-in on the fire part and picking Dragons instead as a more recognizable name that hits a lot of similar points while only having two syllables. Might come down to owner preferences or the different ways each would be more or less tied to the city, but I think Fire Salamanders at least has character so I'm rounding it up to fine.
Crash
Rating: Fine. If Philly Cape Town had gone with Rhinos, this would be good. Teams tend to use the plural of the singular animal and not the official "group of animal" name (though the Baltimore Conspiracy is an interesting option...), and so breaking away from convention and using a group name that, to me, is one of the less common ones seems like straying a bit far from convention for a typical NFL team's sense of financial risk taking. I do think a rhino is a generally good match with NFL play, and the Crash name does evoke the post-snap collisions between the offensive and defensive lines, but that sound/experience isn't tied enough to the image/animal for me to bring it back up to good. I might be underrating this nickname just due to the novelty factor, so I'll keep my eye open to see if it grows more natural through a couple ISFL seasons.
Butchers
Rating: Poor. In a league that has the Packers, I don't think Butchers is a wildly out there nickname. However, I do think that trying to use that for a new team would probably not go over will with the more direct blood/meat direction of the name, plus possible ties into either historical incidents/massacres or more modern violent incidents. I think it would absolutely work if the Bears had picked this name when they were founded instead and I don't think you'd see anyone pushing to change it now, but I think it's violent sounding enough to push away some advertisers and therefore more owners.
Yeti
Rating: Good. Well-known critter, two syllables, easy to have a mascot of, and allows for the fun nickname of Yeeti when you have a good passer. The biggest problem I can think of with Yeti is honestly that the various beef jerky commercials using the Sasquatch might be annoyed at you and not want to do a partnership, so figuring out what they think in advance might be a good move. The second biggest problem is that I personally prefer something related to the nickname on the helmet rather than something related to the location and I don't think a Yeti does well as a decal. Clearly very minor problems, and I think this is possibly the easiest direct-to-NFL nicknames in the ISFL.
Liberty
Rating: Fine (unless you tried to have the team outside of Philly). While the name has been retired in the ISFL, I came up with the idea for the article before that so I'm still going to include the previous version of Cape Town's nickname. Liberty to me is an interesting different take on the Philly situation. You have the 76ers to focus on the individuals involved, while Liberty is a more abstract collective but still tied to the city. I think it would be amusingly pretentious in pretty much any other city, so I would have to rate it as a poor name for general use in the NFL. I could also see some current-day issues if they used a short nickname of the Libs, since that's tied a bit more directly to a politically liberal direction now and so I could see an owner wanting something that's harder to related to politics. I could actually see taking the Liberty name but focusing more on the bell itself and going with "Bells of Liberty" (short nickname: Bells) for a new team. Might be a little too weird to go with an object though?
Sailfish
Rating: Good. I think the Sailfish would work great as an NFL name. Florida has plenty of aquaticly named teams including the NFL's Dolphins, so Sailfish works perfectly fine there or presumably in various other coastal locations. The biggest issue I can think of is that people will wonder what the difference between a sailfish and a marlin is. Depending on where the team ends up being, I could see there being a lot of jokes with the interplay of sail - if they became rivals of the Buccaneers, "take in the sail" would have a bit of a different meaning than the normal ship one, but I don't think there's anything concerning in that direction.
Wraiths
Rating: Fine. Very spooky name, but works fine if a bit generically. I think Wraiths is a good pick where it's more interesting than ghosts while not going full "I need to pull up a D&D manual and/or a mythology book" like some spooky options would be. Not really tied to any specific area, which might make it hard to get the nod from an owner vs. other more local options, unless the expansion city happens to have some history of haunting. In the current version of the logo/colors I could see the similarity to the Raiders maybe being a bit of a problem and getting the NFL to ask for a different take on it - maybe making the blue the primary with black and silver as accents instead, or going with a version of the logo that is less of a face? I might be overindexing on that similarity, though.
Conclusion
Every ISFL team name is still better than "Commanders".
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