12-29-2022, 09:14 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-30-2022, 02:07 PM by Caleb_H. Edited 1 time in total.)
I have zero clue what to write for media but its double media new year extravaganza and I’ve been inactive for fourth months (and totally not jealous that my best friend Queen Sava’thun already has two Ultimus’ Bowl things). So I’m gonna try to get some money. Then get some TPE. If it has to be 1000 words then I’m gonna talk about the only thing I know how to talk about and we are going to relocate and rebrand every single ISFL team. Gogogogogogogo.
FIrst up, the Baltimore Hawks. We’re just gonna yeet them from Baltimore to Boston. Boston is a slightly bigger city, but considering the market for teams in Boston generally include all of New England, then Boston makes more sense (not that Baltimore isn’t deserving of a team either, maybe I move one back there later). For a mascot we’re going to get as far away from the real life team in New England and go with the anti-Patriot. Maybe a Revolutionary, a Brigand, a Pirate. Eh, let’s do Boston Shipyards. Make it a dope sea green and blue color palette.
Now we have the Berlin Fire Salamanders. Alright, first thing first, We’re moving everything back to North America. To fly 53 players around the world is putting a lot of CO2 into the air, so we’re bringing teams back. And Berlin is going to Philadelphia (could have sworn there was a team there but like I said I’ve been IA for four months, also sorry Baltimore). This ones easy. Liberty Bells. Gold and Black with a dope red, white and blue alternate uniform. They also have an additional alternate with Christmas jingle bells and stuff.
Alight Cape Town has to come back to the North American shores. So we’re going to cold frigid north. Montreal. I just want to have two teams in Canada so one is going there. Also a good rivalry between Boston and Montreal. Probably go with a classic Quebec flag blue and white color scheme with a giant Flour-de-lis logo.
Chicago is the first team to stay in their city. I’m not moving everyone. That would be ridiculous. Also it’s the 3rd largest city in the USA. But they rebranding. Light blue, white, maybe another color. And we’re going Chicago Wind (get it, windy city, boy this is going to go downhill as I write this).
Colorado is like kind of not going to move. Denver is certainly the largest city in the Midwest. Like no one lives out there. And like honestly, how did Kansas City get a World Cup venue in 2026 over Denver?? I digress. Like the World Cup committee, we move Colorado to Kansas City. We won’t be racist with the name like the real life team either. Kansas City Ribs. They’re barbeque is good for the league. Barbeque colored uniforms obviously.
Sarasota is moving to Miami, how are there two sim league teams in Sarasota (oh wait, its on the moon now in PBE…). Miami is a massive metro area and they get to be the Alligators. I don’t think I have any green teams in the league yet so there we go.
Yellowknife is going to Toronto. Pretty good three way rivalry between Montreal, Boston, and Toronto (just like real life hockey) We’re going to go red and white for colors and maybe like the Beavers for a mascot? Could do the Geese too. That would be metal.
One to the ASFC. We’re gonna keep teams close and ask the question. In real life sports, has there ever been a good team from Arizona? Like ever? Seriously? So the Outlaws are getting yeeted. To Los Angles. 2nd largest city and very deserving of at least one team (but not stealing one from San Diego *angry face*) Gold Diggers for the mascot. Gold and something for the colors.
There are 3 other cities (maybe even more) bigger than Austin in Texas. So were gonna move to Dallas (Houston might be bigger) yeah, okay we’ll go to Houston and call them the Houston Cowpokes. Animal rights groups will be up in arms cause the logo is a cowboy branding a cow.
Honolulu can stay. Having a team in Honolulu is dope. Hawaii is an amazing place and deserves a football team. It’s tough for me to pick a mascot but mauve the Hammerheads. Hammerhead sharks are super cool (I say like a 10 year old boy).
New Orelans gets moved to Atlanta (definitely a super large city) We’re gonna go with the Atlanta Yellow Jackets. Cause they mean and nasty little things and will destroy your family if given the chance. Obviously we go with the classic yellow and black color scheme.
New York can stay there. Largest or 2nd largest city. Deserves a team. Could move it to Brooklyn or Manhattan if they wanted. But New York Gnats or New York Pines? I’m not really sure. The Pines are kind of a cool name. There’s pine trees in Central Park right? Brown and green colors. Sounds good to me.
Alright we got 150 words to go and we’re on to Orange County. Going to go with the same double work locations. We’re going to continue to encompass all of North America and move them to Mexico City. And call them the Diablos (thats spanish for Devils). Dope, manly, red and black. Sick like designs with skulls and that Mexico style art. Would be a fiesta down there!
San Jose is small fries, so we’re gonna move the Seattle. Seattle is a big city and the northwest needs some representation. Now I would love to go Seattle Kraken, but that’s been taken. So Seattle Otters (yes stolen from the also relocated Orange County). Otters are cool. And you could go with some Green, blue and white from the Cascadia flag. Or maybe something totally weird, like yellow or something. I don’t think I put any yellow teams in the league.
Alright, thats it. Basically 1000 words on where I would mvoe and rebrand every ISFL team. Let me know what you would do. Would you make it a super local, state only league? Or go even more world wide and put a team in Asia and South America.
FIrst up, the Baltimore Hawks. We’re just gonna yeet them from Baltimore to Boston. Boston is a slightly bigger city, but considering the market for teams in Boston generally include all of New England, then Boston makes more sense (not that Baltimore isn’t deserving of a team either, maybe I move one back there later). For a mascot we’re going to get as far away from the real life team in New England and go with the anti-Patriot. Maybe a Revolutionary, a Brigand, a Pirate. Eh, let’s do Boston Shipyards. Make it a dope sea green and blue color palette.
Now we have the Berlin Fire Salamanders. Alright, first thing first, We’re moving everything back to North America. To fly 53 players around the world is putting a lot of CO2 into the air, so we’re bringing teams back. And Berlin is going to Philadelphia (could have sworn there was a team there but like I said I’ve been IA for four months, also sorry Baltimore). This ones easy. Liberty Bells. Gold and Black with a dope red, white and blue alternate uniform. They also have an additional alternate with Christmas jingle bells and stuff.
Alight Cape Town has to come back to the North American shores. So we’re going to cold frigid north. Montreal. I just want to have two teams in Canada so one is going there. Also a good rivalry between Boston and Montreal. Probably go with a classic Quebec flag blue and white color scheme with a giant Flour-de-lis logo.
Chicago is the first team to stay in their city. I’m not moving everyone. That would be ridiculous. Also it’s the 3rd largest city in the USA. But they rebranding. Light blue, white, maybe another color. And we’re going Chicago Wind (get it, windy city, boy this is going to go downhill as I write this).
Colorado is like kind of not going to move. Denver is certainly the largest city in the Midwest. Like no one lives out there. And like honestly, how did Kansas City get a World Cup venue in 2026 over Denver?? I digress. Like the World Cup committee, we move Colorado to Kansas City. We won’t be racist with the name like the real life team either. Kansas City Ribs. They’re barbeque is good for the league. Barbeque colored uniforms obviously.
Sarasota is moving to Miami, how are there two sim league teams in Sarasota (oh wait, its on the moon now in PBE…). Miami is a massive metro area and they get to be the Alligators. I don’t think I have any green teams in the league yet so there we go.
Yellowknife is going to Toronto. Pretty good three way rivalry between Montreal, Boston, and Toronto (just like real life hockey) We’re going to go red and white for colors and maybe like the Beavers for a mascot? Could do the Geese too. That would be metal.
One to the ASFC. We’re gonna keep teams close and ask the question. In real life sports, has there ever been a good team from Arizona? Like ever? Seriously? So the Outlaws are getting yeeted. To Los Angles. 2nd largest city and very deserving of at least one team (but not stealing one from San Diego *angry face*) Gold Diggers for the mascot. Gold and something for the colors.
There are 3 other cities (maybe even more) bigger than Austin in Texas. So were gonna move to Dallas (Houston might be bigger) yeah, okay we’ll go to Houston and call them the Houston Cowpokes. Animal rights groups will be up in arms cause the logo is a cowboy branding a cow.
Honolulu can stay. Having a team in Honolulu is dope. Hawaii is an amazing place and deserves a football team. It’s tough for me to pick a mascot but mauve the Hammerheads. Hammerhead sharks are super cool (I say like a 10 year old boy).
New Orelans gets moved to Atlanta (definitely a super large city) We’re gonna go with the Atlanta Yellow Jackets. Cause they mean and nasty little things and will destroy your family if given the chance. Obviously we go with the classic yellow and black color scheme.
New York can stay there. Largest or 2nd largest city. Deserves a team. Could move it to Brooklyn or Manhattan if they wanted. But New York Gnats or New York Pines? I’m not really sure. The Pines are kind of a cool name. There’s pine trees in Central Park right? Brown and green colors. Sounds good to me.
Alright we got 150 words to go and we’re on to Orange County. Going to go with the same double work locations. We’re going to continue to encompass all of North America and move them to Mexico City. And call them the Diablos (thats spanish for Devils). Dope, manly, red and black. Sick like designs with skulls and that Mexico style art. Would be a fiesta down there!
San Jose is small fries, so we’re gonna move the Seattle. Seattle is a big city and the northwest needs some representation. Now I would love to go Seattle Kraken, but that’s been taken. So Seattle Otters (yes stolen from the also relocated Orange County). Otters are cool. And you could go with some Green, blue and white from the Cascadia flag. Or maybe something totally weird, like yellow or something. I don’t think I put any yellow teams in the league.
Alright, thats it. Basically 1000 words on where I would mvoe and rebrand every ISFL team. Let me know what you would do. Would you make it a super local, state only league? Or go even more world wide and put a team in Asia and South America.
![[Image: vZVfn8w.png]](https://i.imgur.com/vZVfn8w.png)
![[Image: Aleris.png?ex=65e37adc&is=65d105dc&hm=b8...cb0e43e7c&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1085978815450325142/1096876516350120006/Aleris.png?ex=65e37adc&is=65d105dc&hm=b822c43e366145498ea1511395d385fba11a6ca60a71a99a5c30942cb0e43e7c&)
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![[Image: CmonSkiuuupSalamandersSig.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/758471909196562442/776932919251304469/CmonSkiuuupSalamandersSig.png)
