03-16-2023, 09:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-17-2023, 01:49 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 1 time in total.)
Following the Week 10 game versus the Kansas City Coyotes, today's report brings us to one defensive player, to take us through a day in their life following a big win.
Establishing shot, Kansas City Coyotes' Stadium, pans down to the reporter on the field.
"With Sports 5 News, I'm Moe Sertanly. Here with us today is Bill Cravy, who has agreed to let our cameras follow him around today, from field and flock to house and home. How are you feeling now, Bill?"
"Thank you Moe," Began Cravy, tipping the gatorade out from his water bottle as he switched to his drink of choice: terrible and watery hot coffee, obtained from a coffee machine found in the back of a McDonalds near the stadium. He poured the drink into his water bottle, twisting back on the squirt cap. "I mean how can I not feel great?" He said between sips, muttering a brief "ow" as he seemed to burn his lips between each sip. While Moe had heaps of questions for the star of today's broadcast, to be watched by tens of fans of Sports 5 News, it seemed that our titular cornerback had places to be. Most notably, the post-game press conference.
The camera followed shakily behind Cravy as he made his way to the press, camera shutters flashing their blinding lights as stepped up to the podium. The first reporter to speak up jumped forward with a raised hand, and upon realization from the Sports 5 camera crew that it was none other than Shirley Nott, an on-field reporter from rival sports news channel Sports 5.5 News, a silly mustache and cartoonishly evil pointy eyebrows were drawn hastily upon the screen for their viewers.
"Mr. Cravy, this game was the first shutout performed by this defense with an offense that scored 27 unanswered points. Your fumble recovery contributed early on, but it seemed as though the whole team was on fire today. If it were up to you, who would get the game ball?"
"Without a doubt, I would give today's game ball to Liath Squirrel, who killed it on the line of scrimmage today." Replied Cravy, coffee-bottle still in hand. "That pick sealed it, as if the dominant pressure put on Kansas City's Mayhem didn't." He added. "But the game was really a team win. The Bird Brothers put up great numbers on offense," He said, referring to Minnesota QBs Falco and Penguin, "And our favorite party Rhino especially killed it out there. It concerned me at first that they'd let a rhino onto the field, but when you're out there against some of these players you need to go all out."
From behind the camera called out the next voice, our very own Moe Sertanly had the next question for Bill. "Mr. Cravy, it's time we spoke about the allegations!" He called out.
"Now Moe I've already ended this!" Came Cravy's angry response, his teeth loosely rattling around in his mouth as he slammed his fist on the table.
"Is it true or isn't it, that you replaced your hair with a patch of DSFL-grade grass turf, in order to fool opponents into thinking you weren't right in front of them?"
"That you'd bring these allegations at a time of celebration for this team only hurts me, Moe." Cravy shook his head, still frustrated by the question. "There is nothing but hair on my head, dyed green, and sometimes dripping little bits of fake rubber dirt. That is solely due to the headfirst dives that come with the territory of playing Football." He shook his head. "Besides, I realized my helmet would ruin that plan anyway." He added with a shrug. The question on everyone's mind, finally put to rest. "Next question?"
"It goes without saying, Bill, that the Grey Ducks are not at the top of the boards this week. What are your plans moving forward, so that you can help contribute to a comeback season, and maybe even an Ultimini appearance for Minnesota?"
"Well, it's all about speed in the DSFL." Came the measured response. "I want to put my training plans towards getting that speed and agility to be able to outpace my counterparts in the opposing receiving core. Look forward to a speedy Bill, in the coming weeks."
Before long, with the questions winding down and the players lining up for their turn in the spotlight, Cravy steps down from the podium. Stay tuned for the next episode of Cravy Days, where we glimpse the balance Bill Cravy strikes between football and life over the course of the next few days.
Please join us next week, as Cravy takes Sports 5 News to the "Cravy Boat", the car he plans on driving home to Minnesota from here in Kansas City.
Establishing shot, Kansas City Coyotes' Stadium, pans down to the reporter on the field.
"With Sports 5 News, I'm Moe Sertanly. Here with us today is Bill Cravy, who has agreed to let our cameras follow him around today, from field and flock to house and home. How are you feeling now, Bill?"
"Thank you Moe," Began Cravy, tipping the gatorade out from his water bottle as he switched to his drink of choice: terrible and watery hot coffee, obtained from a coffee machine found in the back of a McDonalds near the stadium. He poured the drink into his water bottle, twisting back on the squirt cap. "I mean how can I not feel great?" He said between sips, muttering a brief "ow" as he seemed to burn his lips between each sip. While Moe had heaps of questions for the star of today's broadcast, to be watched by tens of fans of Sports 5 News, it seemed that our titular cornerback had places to be. Most notably, the post-game press conference.
The camera followed shakily behind Cravy as he made his way to the press, camera shutters flashing their blinding lights as stepped up to the podium. The first reporter to speak up jumped forward with a raised hand, and upon realization from the Sports 5 camera crew that it was none other than Shirley Nott, an on-field reporter from rival sports news channel Sports 5.5 News, a silly mustache and cartoonishly evil pointy eyebrows were drawn hastily upon the screen for their viewers.
"Mr. Cravy, this game was the first shutout performed by this defense with an offense that scored 27 unanswered points. Your fumble recovery contributed early on, but it seemed as though the whole team was on fire today. If it were up to you, who would get the game ball?"
"Without a doubt, I would give today's game ball to Liath Squirrel, who killed it on the line of scrimmage today." Replied Cravy, coffee-bottle still in hand. "That pick sealed it, as if the dominant pressure put on Kansas City's Mayhem didn't." He added. "But the game was really a team win. The Bird Brothers put up great numbers on offense," He said, referring to Minnesota QBs Falco and Penguin, "And our favorite party Rhino especially killed it out there. It concerned me at first that they'd let a rhino onto the field, but when you're out there against some of these players you need to go all out."
From behind the camera called out the next voice, our very own Moe Sertanly had the next question for Bill. "Mr. Cravy, it's time we spoke about the allegations!" He called out.
"Now Moe I've already ended this!" Came Cravy's angry response, his teeth loosely rattling around in his mouth as he slammed his fist on the table.
"Is it true or isn't it, that you replaced your hair with a patch of DSFL-grade grass turf, in order to fool opponents into thinking you weren't right in front of them?"
"That you'd bring these allegations at a time of celebration for this team only hurts me, Moe." Cravy shook his head, still frustrated by the question. "There is nothing but hair on my head, dyed green, and sometimes dripping little bits of fake rubber dirt. That is solely due to the headfirst dives that come with the territory of playing Football." He shook his head. "Besides, I realized my helmet would ruin that plan anyway." He added with a shrug. The question on everyone's mind, finally put to rest. "Next question?"
"It goes without saying, Bill, that the Grey Ducks are not at the top of the boards this week. What are your plans moving forward, so that you can help contribute to a comeback season, and maybe even an Ultimini appearance for Minnesota?"
"Well, it's all about speed in the DSFL." Came the measured response. "I want to put my training plans towards getting that speed and agility to be able to outpace my counterparts in the opposing receiving core. Look forward to a speedy Bill, in the coming weeks."
Before long, with the questions winding down and the players lining up for their turn in the spotlight, Cravy steps down from the podium. Stay tuned for the next episode of Cravy Days, where we glimpse the balance Bill Cravy strikes between football and life over the course of the next few days.
Please join us next week, as Cravy takes Sports 5 News to the "Cravy Boat", the car he plans on driving home to Minnesota from here in Kansas City.