*Easter Bunny Vs. DSFL Mascots

[jross]

As Easter falls on the 9th of April, which is this upcoming Sunday, I am continuing my fight-based series on holiday mascots vs. DSFL mascots.

Below is a fight-by-fight breakdown of what I think would occur and who would emerge victorious. I have taken all information from my internet research so if you don't like it @ me.

For all the fights the bunny rabbit will be a standard rabbit that you can buy from any local pet store. If my lifelong goal of being called up to the ISFL is realized after the draft then this series will continue with ISFL mascots. If not, then I will be relegated to embarrassment and continue with DSFL mascots.


Fight 1: Bunny Rabbit vs Coyote (KCC)

As you all can imagine, this fight would be quite literally a bloodbath. Rabbits are the natural food choice for coyotes in the wild and the rabbit would not come out successful in any simulation of this fight. Despite its natural speed, the bunny would quickly be made into a meal for the coyote.

DSFL - 1
Bunny Rabbit- 0

Fight 2: Bunny Rabbit vs Lion (London)

Despite playing a complete sim season in the DSFL I am still not sure what a royal is. so for the sake of the matchup, I am continuing to choose a lion since that's what's in their picture. if you would care to enlighten me then feel free. I am not above learning. Here the lion takes his heavy-handed paw and with a quick swipe, the rabbit falls defeated. It would not be a fair fight in the slightest.

DSFL - 2
Bunny Rabbit- 0

Fight 3: Bunny Rabbit vs Grey Duck (Minnesota)

In a matchup of two herbivores, the shocking twist that no one saw coming is that the match ends in a tie! Neither duck nor bunny feels compelled to fight due to their relaxed nature and the match ends in a stalemate. The grey ducks have yet to get a win against a holiday mascot so I gave them half because I felt bad.

DSFL - 2.5
Bunny Rabbit- 0.5

Fight 4: Bunny Rabbit vs Python (Portland)

You guys ever watch on Animal Planet when you were little and see a python eat an entire animal? I did. I mean people have videos on Youtube about feeding their pet snakes. It's another easy win for the sneks.

DSFL - 3.5
Bunny Rabbit- 0.5

Halfway through the fight card and the DSFL mascots look to be in complete control at this point with 3.5 wins to .5 wins (thanks Minnesota). We shall continue on.

Fight 5: Bunny Rabbit vs Buccaneer (BBB)

this one is a bit tricky. Typically, a sword-wielding buccaneer would be able to easily outmatch a bunny rabbit BUT what if the buccaneer had no weapon and had to rely on his own hands to defeat the rabbit? Could he catch him? Historically, buccaneers were sailors who might be in decent shape due to the lifestyle of a seaman but drank copious amounts of alcohol and led a generally unhealthy lifestyle. No fruits, no veggies, I mean it isn't out of the realm of possibility that he would pass out exhausted before he caught the rabbit. I have convinced myself to give this to the bunny.

DSFL - 3.5
Bunny Rabbit- 1.5

Fight 6: Bunny Rabbit vs Birddog (Dallas)

Unfortunately, the rabbit's win streak stops here. a dog specialized in hunting would have no issue with finding and disposing of a rabbit. A win for Dallas.

DSFL - 4.5
Bunny Rabbit- 1.5

Fight 7: Bunny Rabbit vs Seawolves (Norfolk)

Another fight that could have multiple outcomes. Seeing that I don't know what a seawolf is and I am basing it on the logo which looks like a submarine, that's what I will use. Anyone who cares to teach me can go right ahead. This matchup has two options with each opponent coming out victorious. Option 1: The sub drops from the top rope and lands on the rabbit and successfully wins OR option 2: the sub is stationary and does not move and the match ends when the rabbit climbs on it long enough to pin it. I will leave it to a coin flip.....*flips coin* and the winner is Norfolk!!

DSFL - 5.5
Bunny Rabbit- 1.5

Fight 8: Bunny Rabbit vs Luchadore (Tijuana)

The final matchup of the night features a spit-swapping makeout match for the ages! Just kidding. Tijuana's logo is a professional wrestler. There is no shot for Mr. Rabbit. The professional wrestler takes him down and once again the bunny rabbit loses.

Now with the fights over and our numbers calculated, let's go to the tape for our final standings.

DSFL - 6.5
Bunny Rabbit- 1.5

Our furry friend faired far better than I think any of us could have hoped for. Amassing 1.5 victories against the DSFL through the course of the night. With some surprising and some not-so-surprising outcomes throughout the matches.

LIFETIME STATS BY TEAM

 - 2 wins/ 0 losses   - 2 wins/ 0 losses   - .5 wins/ 1.5 losses   - 2 wins/ 0 losses

 - 1 win/ 1 loss       - 2 wins/ 0 losses   - 1 win/ 1 loss            - 2 wins/ 0 losses

PS: In the spirit of double media frenzy, I am compelled to continue my post until I reach my goal. I will do that by discussing my first year within this community. I came into this sim knowing literally nothing, just a fresh-faced lurker on Reddit who saw a post on the NFL subreddit and took a chance. I was blown away by how well the community took me in and helped me adjust. From the DMs through the website before I knew what Discord was to the help channels and team discords. I want to personally shout out all my people in the Kansas City Coyote locker room. GO YOTES! All the teammates and GMs who helped me during my first year (I don't know how to tag anyone) and all the higher-ups within the community that took the time to make sure I was getting it right. I now feel comfortable navigating the ISFL waters with what I know.

Double PS: If I completely misread the prompt and I wasn't supposed to be this sappy to my team and people, I don't care. Now they know. Whatever. Go Yotes!

Triple PS: God Bless Ray Baker (I think that's how you do it.)

[Hallmonitor_20]

Ok you did this with the Bucc not having any weapons but what if you did all of them with the Bunny having a weapon?

[Alikh]

Royal winning streak continues!