04-07-2023, 10:02 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2023, 10:02 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 5 times in total.)
No, your title is too long. Don't judge me.
I wasn't going to do a Mock Draft, but then that whole 2x Media thing popped up and I thought what the heck. This is also a way better method than "write media, sit on it and wait for 2x media, get frustrated and post right before 2x media goes active". That would be brutal. Anyway.... AWAY WE GO!
1.1 NYS
- Linebacker - John Stark VIII - @UptownCord
I had great conversations with NYS and as much as I want to mock myself at 1OA, I can't look past the impact UptownCord has already made in the ISFL. He quickly became the Co-GM in Portland, has ingratiated himself amongst a lot of the different circles in the league, and unlike Bruce hasn't pissed people off by playing a overly confident character. If the Silverbacks are looking for a high level owner, a max earner, and someone who can immediately come in and help them in the war room, Uptown is THAT DUDE.
1.2 COL
(from BAL BAL ) - Safety - Mary Marie - @aeonsjenni
I'm not gonna lie… the whole :kiwi: :snail: thing has always gone right over my head. Maybe I'm too old to understand, but if it means Jenni is a badass, then I'm on board. Between great media, great presence, and a lack of patience for all of our shit, it was honestly hard not picking Mary Marie to go 1OA.
1.3 HON
- Linebacker - Loose Cannon - @Jumbo
Linebackers are king on the defensive side of the ball at the ISFL level and there are very few higher earning and better talented LBs in this draft than Loose Cannon. Jumbo is someone who can quickly come in and make a difference for HON both on the field and in the war room.
1.4 OCO
(from SJS ) - Wide Receiver - Olliver Tolliver - @Memento Mori
Mori is a no-brainer here for the Otters. He's extensive GM experience for THIS team and that kind of personal history can't just be wiped away. While I think there might be better picks for the Otters here, this one is obviously the perfect FIT overall imo.
1.5 NOLA
(from BER) - Defensive End - Bruce White - @toofpete
Why do you guys think I was in New Orleans last weekend? It wasn't just because of the Hand Grenades and Beignets, I'll tell you that. Bruce to NOLA just makes too much sense. Just like Wizard brought up, the Portland to NOLA pipeline stays strong and they add the DSFL S40 sack leader and a guy (me) who is honestly cute as a button and super likable when he isn't cutting a promo and pretending to be his overly confident DE character. I would literally do anything for this team… And I do mean ANYTHING…
1.6 NOLA - Safety - Rico Savage - @TheRake
Talk about setting your team up for long term success, drafting Bruce and Rico with these back to back picks might possibly be the best outcome for any team in this draft. Look, I'll be honest, TheRake and I can be a bit of a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but at the end of the day all we really want is to be successful and better than every other team no matter the cost. NOLA can surely be successful without pairing us together, but for a quick rebuild and long-term success, this is an S-Tier move by a team looking to inject some high level energy.
1.7 COL - Cornerback - Kadarius Claypool II - @Weaves
This Cornerback class is absolutely loaded and sitting right near the top of the class is Weaves. This was a tough decision, because there are a few different CBs who could go here, but I think COL takes a chance on Weaves at 1.7. Between the podcast, Discord activity, and forum work Weaves could end up being one of the strongest CBs from this class. Pairing him with Mary Marie in the first round would be insanely good, but also he's a dirty, dirty Seawolf from Norfolk, so… Boooooo.
1.8 SAR
- Wide Receiver - Emile Charles - @Number 82
Maybe this is my Portland bias shining through or maybe this is because Number 82 very lovingly stole my identity in the Python LR by changing his name to Toofpeat, but Emile will end up being the best WR in this draft class.
Mark. My. Words.
Number 82 already was the winning bid for the S40 Ultimus, made me a sick ass sig to use for Bruce, and is generally just a joy to be around in Discord, and has an absolutely massive bank roll. If it weren't for Mori's connections, Emile would be the first WR off the board for me.
1.9 AUS
- Defensive Tackle - Jumbo Edward - @furiousPanda
Panda has bullied me in the Portland LR from the very beginning, but he's like the big brother Bruce never had. If I'm being completely honest, Bruce wouldn't have been one sack away from the DSFL single season record without a lot of players on that defense, but most notably Jumbo taking up all those blocks to help Bruce produce. Without Jumbo Edward's, there would be no Bruce White. And as art often imitates real life, without @furiousPanda, there would be no Toofpete.
1.10 CTC
- Cornerback - Ezra Azazel - @baz1757
Everyone keeps telling me about this Baz dude we forgot to talk about on our Pumpin' Hands DSFL Draft Special. I have no clue who it is. I've never seen them before in my life either in the Discord, Forum, Gamedays, etc. I still think this is one big prank everyone is pulling on me, but whatever. I'll play along. IF this "Baz" person really exists, then I'd say CTC would have a tough time finding a CB to help bolster their defense, someone who has a relationship with some of their players already, and showed a willingness to switch positions already from RB to CB. But again, I don't think Baz exists so… w/e.
1.11 COL (from OCO ) - Defensive Tackle - Billy Jor-El - @LtHudz
Let's keep it defense bb. Billy Jor-El might actually be the best DT in this draft class, but my Portland bias is too strong. I have a hard time seeing LtHudz falling this far to 1.11, but if he does then I don't see how COL can pass the chance to draft him.
1.12 CHI
- Linebacker - Liath Squirrel - @LiathTheSquirrel
Podcasting, writing, GMing, being awesome… what doesn't Liath do?
I think a stacked LB class is the only reason Liath could fall here, and honestly, probably ends up going @ 9, but I think CHI would be ecstatic to see someone with so much experience fall here to them @ 12.
1.13 YKW
- Linebacker - Max Honesty - @LeSizz
I HONESTLY can't think of a better pick for YKW here *pause for obvious laughter and giggles*
……….
LeSizz has been a Rockstar since joining the ISFL and his star has only gotten brighter with the switch to LB. He's a MAX earner and HONESTLY one of the top players in this draft and could easily go higher than this. Freshly crowned as a new GM in London, LeSizz is showing his skills as a leader and someone who doesn't mind being a big part of a war room.
1.14 ARI
- Defensive End - Rolund Onyxgut - @crash1005
The biggest threat to Bruce White all season long in the DSFL. Some people are calling Rolund Onyxgut the "Poor Man's Bruce White" or " Wish.com Bruce White" or "Great Value Bruce White", but all I know is Crash is awesome. Lots of great interactions with Crash in Discord and probably the best talent on the board @ 1.14. Just don't call him Rotund Onyxbutt. He doesn't like that.
Disclaimer: If you didn't make the 1st round, that doesn't mean you won't or that I don't like you. It just means I was rushing to get this out before the draft because I'm lazy and procrastinate. I'm looking at you @18situaseans ??
I wasn't going to do a Mock Draft, but then that whole 2x Media thing popped up and I thought what the heck. This is also a way better method than "write media, sit on it and wait for 2x media, get frustrated and post right before 2x media goes active". That would be brutal. Anyway.... AWAY WE GO!
1.1 NYS
- Linebacker - John Stark VIII - @UptownCordI had great conversations with NYS and as much as I want to mock myself at 1OA, I can't look past the impact UptownCord has already made in the ISFL. He quickly became the Co-GM in Portland, has ingratiated himself amongst a lot of the different circles in the league, and unlike Bruce hasn't pissed people off by playing a overly confident character. If the Silverbacks are looking for a high level owner, a max earner, and someone who can immediately come in and help them in the war room, Uptown is THAT DUDE.
1.2 COL
(from BAL BAL ) - Safety - Mary Marie - @aeonsjenniI'm not gonna lie… the whole :kiwi: :snail: thing has always gone right over my head. Maybe I'm too old to understand, but if it means Jenni is a badass, then I'm on board. Between great media, great presence, and a lack of patience for all of our shit, it was honestly hard not picking Mary Marie to go 1OA.
1.3 HON
- Linebacker - Loose Cannon - @JumboLinebackers are king on the defensive side of the ball at the ISFL level and there are very few higher earning and better talented LBs in this draft than Loose Cannon. Jumbo is someone who can quickly come in and make a difference for HON both on the field and in the war room.
1.4 OCO
(from SJS ) - Wide Receiver - Olliver Tolliver - @Memento MoriMori is a no-brainer here for the Otters. He's extensive GM experience for THIS team and that kind of personal history can't just be wiped away. While I think there might be better picks for the Otters here, this one is obviously the perfect FIT overall imo.
1.5 NOLA
(from BER) - Defensive End - Bruce White - @toofpeteWhy do you guys think I was in New Orleans last weekend? It wasn't just because of the Hand Grenades and Beignets, I'll tell you that. Bruce to NOLA just makes too much sense. Just like Wizard brought up, the Portland to NOLA pipeline stays strong and they add the DSFL S40 sack leader and a guy (me) who is honestly cute as a button and super likable when he isn't cutting a promo and pretending to be his overly confident DE character. I would literally do anything for this team… And I do mean ANYTHING…
1.6 NOLA
- Safety - Rico Savage - @TheRake Talk about setting your team up for long term success, drafting Bruce and Rico with these back to back picks might possibly be the best outcome for any team in this draft. Look, I'll be honest, TheRake and I can be a bit of a tough pill to swallow sometimes, but at the end of the day all we really want is to be successful and better than every other team no matter the cost. NOLA can surely be successful without pairing us together, but for a quick rebuild and long-term success, this is an S-Tier move by a team looking to inject some high level energy.
1.7 COL
- Cornerback - Kadarius Claypool II - @WeavesThis Cornerback class is absolutely loaded and sitting right near the top of the class is Weaves. This was a tough decision, because there are a few different CBs who could go here, but I think COL takes a chance on Weaves at 1.7. Between the podcast, Discord activity, and forum work Weaves could end up being one of the strongest CBs from this class. Pairing him with Mary Marie in the first round would be insanely good, but also he's a dirty, dirty Seawolf from Norfolk, so… Boooooo.
1.8 SAR
- Wide Receiver - Emile Charles - @Number 82Maybe this is my Portland bias shining through or maybe this is because Number 82 very lovingly stole my identity in the Python LR by changing his name to Toofpeat, but Emile will end up being the best WR in this draft class.
Mark. My. Words.
Number 82 already was the winning bid for the S40 Ultimus, made me a sick ass sig to use for Bruce, and is generally just a joy to be around in Discord, and has an absolutely massive bank roll. If it weren't for Mori's connections, Emile would be the first WR off the board for me.
1.9 AUS
- Defensive Tackle - Jumbo Edward - @furiousPandaPanda has bullied me in the Portland LR from the very beginning, but he's like the big brother Bruce never had. If I'm being completely honest, Bruce wouldn't have been one sack away from the DSFL single season record without a lot of players on that defense, but most notably Jumbo taking up all those blocks to help Bruce produce. Without Jumbo Edward's, there would be no Bruce White. And as art often imitates real life, without @furiousPanda, there would be no Toofpete.
1.10 CTC
- Cornerback - Ezra Azazel - @baz1757Everyone keeps telling me about this Baz dude we forgot to talk about on our Pumpin' Hands DSFL Draft Special. I have no clue who it is. I've never seen them before in my life either in the Discord, Forum, Gamedays, etc. I still think this is one big prank everyone is pulling on me, but whatever. I'll play along. IF this "Baz" person really exists, then I'd say CTC would have a tough time finding a CB to help bolster their defense, someone who has a relationship with some of their players already, and showed a willingness to switch positions already from RB to CB. But again, I don't think Baz exists so… w/e.
1.11 COL
(from OCO ) - Defensive Tackle - Billy Jor-El - @LtHudzLet's keep it defense bb. Billy Jor-El might actually be the best DT in this draft class, but my Portland bias is too strong. I have a hard time seeing LtHudz falling this far to 1.11, but if he does then I don't see how COL can pass the chance to draft him.
1.12 CHI
- Linebacker - Liath Squirrel - @LiathTheSquirrelPodcasting, writing, GMing, being awesome… what doesn't Liath do?
I think a stacked LB class is the only reason Liath could fall here, and honestly, probably ends up going @ 9, but I think CHI would be ecstatic to see someone with so much experience fall here to them @ 12.
1.13 YKW
- Linebacker - Max Honesty - @LeSizzI HONESTLY can't think of a better pick for YKW here *pause for obvious laughter and giggles*
……….
LeSizz has been a Rockstar since joining the ISFL and his star has only gotten brighter with the switch to LB. He's a MAX earner and HONESTLY one of the top players in this draft and could easily go higher than this. Freshly crowned as a new GM in London, LeSizz is showing his skills as a leader and someone who doesn't mind being a big part of a war room.
1.14 ARI
- Defensive End - Rolund Onyxgut - @crash1005The biggest threat to Bruce White all season long in the DSFL. Some people are calling Rolund Onyxgut the "Poor Man's Bruce White" or " Wish.com Bruce White" or "Great Value Bruce White", but all I know is Crash is awesome. Lots of great interactions with Crash in Discord and probably the best talent on the board @ 1.14. Just don't call him Rotund Onyxbutt. He doesn't like that.
Disclaimer: If you didn't make the 1st round, that doesn't mean you won't or that I don't like you. It just means I was rushing to get this out before the draft because I'm lazy and procrastinate. I'm looking at you @18situaseans ??
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