05-28-2023, 12:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-01-2023, 07:38 AM by Aneeqs. Edited 1 time in total.)
As some may have noticed, I've ended up creating a player for the upcoming DSFL Draft, and as such, need to make myself look good enough to be drafted as a quarterback.
Let's be real, the easiest, laziest, most boring type of media to read is branding rankings. So, I'm sorry to the graders. Fortunately for me, the brandings haven't changed a bit (in the DSFL) since I was active with my last player. I see that as both a good, and bad thing.
In this ranking, I'll consider a few things; name, logo, location, and colour scheme. So without further ado..
Name: Buccaneers isn't the best, but isn't the worst name. With an ocean present, pirates check out, and a buccaneer is probably one of the cooler words to express that. I doubt there is much more to it than that. 6/10
Logo: This logo has a very solid mix of being the ugliest thing on the planet and yet still looking like a decent logo. I don't know how to explain it. It's better than some weird, flat-looking clip art, but none of it works. It looks like a St. Patrick's special edition logo that is just a rip-off of what the logo should actually be. 3/10
Location: I have a feeling Bondi Beach specifically was picked for the alliteration aspect, which just makes the alliteration aspect of it kind of lame. Alliteration works for me, but don't go out of your way. Just say you're from Sydney. Regardless, I like the branching out of locations in sim leagues. I had a phase where I didn't, but then I grew up. Hell, I'm on a baseball team from the moon, so. Australia is chill, but Bondi Beach is just.. eh. 4/10
Colour Scheme: When I think of a colour scheme for a pirate team from Sydney, green, yellow, and purple are not even close to the top 5 choices. I mean, purple is cool and there was a time where we all needed more purple teams, but we've reached that point already. Plus, green and yellow just doesn't look that great. The only time I've really seen it pulled off is a Saskatchewan-based provincial team. Anyone who has been to Saskatchewan would understand why it works. It's not footsteps you really want to follow in. 3/10
Name: So, I don't know what the hell a birddog is. The only thing I found from a quick Google is related to realty, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt here because that would be an absolutely attrocious thing to name a sports team after. We'll give it a mid grade because I don't know what to make of it. 5/10
Logo: I think the logo would be a bit better without the "D", it makes it look like a highschool logo. That said, the dog actually looks pretty solid so I like it. Maybe just a better "D" or getting rid of it would give it a higher mark, but I like it. 7/10
Location: The thing with football is that as far as I know, only the USA cares. I mean, Canada has football, but it is so different. Everywhere else plays a different football. Which kind of makes the international thing I mentioned from Sydney a bit weird, but again, I'm on a baseball team on the moon. Maybe there is a world of people somewhere that play football. I doubt it though.
Now besides that absolutely massive tangent, Texas is a pretty good spot. I've heard it is all football, so can't get much better. Can't speak directly on Dallas, but I do know the Stars are still fighting for the Stanley Cup and keep choking to Vegas so make of that what you will. 7/10
Colour Scheme: Blue, yellow, and white is a vibe. I guess both Dallas and Bondi Beach have a more gold colour, but it's not like I'm describing it, right? I think it can be difficult to pull off under some circumstances but I don't have any grievances towards the combination here, so I think they did pretty good with it. 7/10
Name: Coyotes is just meh. It's kind of one of those names that doesn't make anyone think twice about you, but sets you up good to have a decent branding. It's like The Bears. The Eagles. Whatever you pick as a third choice, but you get the point.At least Kansas City has coyotes, or so the internet tells me. 5/10
Logo: It's just not good. I think if I drew it in Microsoft Paint I'd be able to make a very comparable version. It's the exact opposite of the Buccaneers logo, where it looks bad but it has the idea of a solid logo, and the execution of a good 5th grade drawing. Just gotta kick it up to date with a refresh and I think it'd be a good logo, just not as it is. 3/10
Location: Well, the Chiefs are good in real life so I'm sure there is some sort of football standing in Kansas City, but it's just what it is. It's like while creating the team they tried to make the most safe choices they could. Or, like when I was creating a custom 32 teams for a custom league in my hockey games and got halfway and started running out of ideas, resorting the whatever logos I hadn't used already. 4/10
Colour Scheme: Anyone that knows my history at all knows I can't bash purple and gold (yellow). Black added to it is alright, my choice was white, but hey, either colour is neutral and does the job. If I'm gonna be really picky, I don't dig the exact shades, but it's still a decent combination so I'll give it a decent grade. 7/10
Name: Royals is a decent name, it's nothing special but I think in terms of the rest of the branding that I'll talk about below, it wraps it up together really well. A (possible?) link to the Royal Family, love them or hate them, is pretty cool. Can't hate on this name, yet. 8/10
Logo: The logo is also pretty cool, I'm assuming it's a bit of a play on the lion being the King of the Jungle. Plus, when anyone thinks of a "royal" animal, a lion is probably one of the first ones most people think about. Overall, the logo is simpler but it looks good, and I like the art for the lion itself. As far as logo text this is one of the better cases, so it is what it is, and the crown is a nice final touch. 8/10
Location: If it's London, Ontario, absolutely gross. Awful. If it's London, England, ehh. We'll give it a pass because at least to me, it works well like stated above. However, I think it falls victim to the same sort of thing I talked about with Bondi Beach, but hey, it's a fake sim league, lets fuck shit up. 6/10
Colour Scheme: A base of black almost always results in a solid colour scheme, and gold is one of the better colours to add to it, so it is a great colour combination in general. That said, anyone else notice how many times I've said gold, or yellow, or part of the colour scheme so far? Might be good to lay off the colour a little bit, DSFL. 9/10
Name: It can't be that good if it reminds me of a lamer version of the Golden Knights. Ducks is eh, and adding whatever colour doesn't make it that much better, but not much worse either, I suppose. 4/10
Logo: While no updated on the site banner, it looks like there is a new version of this logo, at least from the graphics folder. Less detailed, but I like the update in comparison. It looks good, you can tell it is a duck but if someone came up to me in the street it would probably take me a second. Similar to Dallas, the letter in the logo is unnecessary, and generally makes the logo worse. Look at Baltimore for example, same style, they don't need the letter to try and fill the logo out. 6/10
Location: Minnesota is pretty cool, so no hate towards Minnesota. I'm not that high on using provinces or states as team locations, because at the end of the day, you will likely be based in Minneapolis or St. Paul. That said, pretty much every Minnesota team uses Minnesota, so it works for them, but otherwise it gets a little iffy. 6/10
Colour Scheme: I have a soft spot for the dark blue, or anything close to it, and grey always goes well with it. Baby blue is a nice addition and white sums it up very well. Nothing too special, but I personally really like it. 8/10
Name: Before I catch any hate, the Discord has it with no capitalization on the W so that's coming straight from the source. I was expecting it to be some random nonsense like the Birddogs, but turns out it's actually a class of submarine, so you learn something new everyday. I like it, probably one of the better ways to say a submarine is your mascot. 7/10
Logo: It's not awful, but it meets my Microsoft Paint critique for the Coyotes. Though on second thought, it is a bit more clip-art-y than anything else. Just looks dull, but I think the right ideas are there, also similar to the Coyotes. The radar in the back is a nice touch. 4/10
Location: The fact I don't know where it is is lame. Also everywhere a possible Norfolk is, is lame. Ontario? Okay hoser. Virginia? I forget it's a state along with Wyoming and Delaware. Britain? Yuck. 2/10
Colour Scheme: The combination is fine, you obviously have to have blue for a water-related mascot, the grey is meh, and black is alright. It looks fine but it's nothing special, it doesn't turn heads and I highly doubt it would be a favourite combination across the league. Just safe, but nothing wrong with that. 5/10
Name: I had an EASHL Club that I was a part of that was named the Pythons. We sucked pretty badly. I see it kind of the same as the Coyotes, but I do like it a bit better than the Coyotes, so we'll give a little bit of a boost for that. I'm taking that boost back though because some random Oregon page I found says there are no Pythons in Portland. 5/10
Logo: I like it, it's not my favourite but it is good. I like the look of the snake and ball, and how those work together, but I do think it might be better without the four-pointed stars behind. Although that might not be a popular opinion, and I could see how it may fall victim to being too vertical for a logo. 6/10
Location: Portland is alright, I don't know much about it but what I have heard about it is decent. No NFL team there but I don't care that much about that. Just meh I suppose, but could be convinced otherwise if any of you are from there. 5/10
Colour Scheme: Going back to that EASHL team, we were also green, black, and white. So a weird connection, but you know. Green isn't my favourite but it goes decently with black, and I've seen a couple of green pythons, likely handpicked pictures from when I played there with my last player! 6/10
Name: I like it, it's a fun name and a cool concept. Wrestlers in a contact league like football, especially considering the front lines and tackles, fit. I don't know much about the culture bit but I do know it's popular in Mexico and I always thought the masks were really cool. For a Mexican team, I think it's pretty decent. 8/10
Logo: I like the logo quite a lot as well, and I think the use of grey makes the mask pop, shows off the colour they are known for having. I also really like the belt, with the Tijuana name printed inside, though the "Luchadores" text? Not so much. Though trying to fill in what could be there without the text, it might have been the right choice. Just not my favourite thing is all. 9/10
Location: I don't know much about Tijuana, but a quick search shows it's littered with great food, bars, and lucha libre. So the name fits well and seems like a good place to visit. 7/10
Colour Scheme: Red, green, and yellow make up the colour combination for the most part, with other colours to fill things out. Red, green, and white are likely pretty expected for a Mexican team, and yellow fits well. It's not the best all together but I think it fits for Tijuana specifically and works quite well for the team itself. 8/10
This final ranking mostly agrees with the numbers I gave, maybe a couple of teams swapped regardless of the average, but I never said I was going to weigh each aspect equally. I can't shake the feeling Norfolk seems too low, but at the same time, I can't justify moving it above any of the teams ranked before it, so it is what it is.
Anyway, I don't mean to trash any teams because what I like, someone may dislike, and the other way around. Especially with brandings, it can be pretty give or take, and it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I just thought it would be something to do before I actually join one of these teams (for real, Norfolk) in a couple of weeks, and make a little bit of cash for equipment.
Let's be real, the easiest, laziest, most boring type of media to read is branding rankings. So, I'm sorry to the graders. Fortunately for me, the brandings haven't changed a bit (in the DSFL) since I was active with my last player. I see that as both a good, and bad thing.
In this ranking, I'll consider a few things; name, logo, location, and colour scheme. So without further ado..
Bondi Beach Buccaneers
Name: Buccaneers isn't the best, but isn't the worst name. With an ocean present, pirates check out, and a buccaneer is probably one of the cooler words to express that. I doubt there is much more to it than that. 6/10
Logo: This logo has a very solid mix of being the ugliest thing on the planet and yet still looking like a decent logo. I don't know how to explain it. It's better than some weird, flat-looking clip art, but none of it works. It looks like a St. Patrick's special edition logo that is just a rip-off of what the logo should actually be. 3/10
Location: I have a feeling Bondi Beach specifically was picked for the alliteration aspect, which just makes the alliteration aspect of it kind of lame. Alliteration works for me, but don't go out of your way. Just say you're from Sydney. Regardless, I like the branching out of locations in sim leagues. I had a phase where I didn't, but then I grew up. Hell, I'm on a baseball team from the moon, so. Australia is chill, but Bondi Beach is just.. eh. 4/10
Colour Scheme: When I think of a colour scheme for a pirate team from Sydney, green, yellow, and purple are not even close to the top 5 choices. I mean, purple is cool and there was a time where we all needed more purple teams, but we've reached that point already. Plus, green and yellow just doesn't look that great. The only time I've really seen it pulled off is a Saskatchewan-based provincial team. Anyone who has been to Saskatchewan would understand why it works. It's not footsteps you really want to follow in. 3/10
Dallas Birddogs
Name: So, I don't know what the hell a birddog is. The only thing I found from a quick Google is related to realty, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt here because that would be an absolutely attrocious thing to name a sports team after. We'll give it a mid grade because I don't know what to make of it. 5/10
Logo: I think the logo would be a bit better without the "D", it makes it look like a highschool logo. That said, the dog actually looks pretty solid so I like it. Maybe just a better "D" or getting rid of it would give it a higher mark, but I like it. 7/10
Location: The thing with football is that as far as I know, only the USA cares. I mean, Canada has football, but it is so different. Everywhere else plays a different football. Which kind of makes the international thing I mentioned from Sydney a bit weird, but again, I'm on a baseball team on the moon. Maybe there is a world of people somewhere that play football. I doubt it though.
Now besides that absolutely massive tangent, Texas is a pretty good spot. I've heard it is all football, so can't get much better. Can't speak directly on Dallas, but I do know the Stars are still fighting for the Stanley Cup and keep choking to Vegas so make of that what you will. 7/10
Colour Scheme: Blue, yellow, and white is a vibe. I guess both Dallas and Bondi Beach have a more gold colour, but it's not like I'm describing it, right? I think it can be difficult to pull off under some circumstances but I don't have any grievances towards the combination here, so I think they did pretty good with it. 7/10
Kansas City Coyotes
Name: Coyotes is just meh. It's kind of one of those names that doesn't make anyone think twice about you, but sets you up good to have a decent branding. It's like The Bears. The Eagles. Whatever you pick as a third choice, but you get the point.At least Kansas City has coyotes, or so the internet tells me. 5/10
Logo: It's just not good. I think if I drew it in Microsoft Paint I'd be able to make a very comparable version. It's the exact opposite of the Buccaneers logo, where it looks bad but it has the idea of a solid logo, and the execution of a good 5th grade drawing. Just gotta kick it up to date with a refresh and I think it'd be a good logo, just not as it is. 3/10
Location: Well, the Chiefs are good in real life so I'm sure there is some sort of football standing in Kansas City, but it's just what it is. It's like while creating the team they tried to make the most safe choices they could. Or, like when I was creating a custom 32 teams for a custom league in my hockey games and got halfway and started running out of ideas, resorting the whatever logos I hadn't used already. 4/10
Colour Scheme: Anyone that knows my history at all knows I can't bash purple and gold (yellow). Black added to it is alright, my choice was white, but hey, either colour is neutral and does the job. If I'm gonna be really picky, I don't dig the exact shades, but it's still a decent combination so I'll give it a decent grade. 7/10
London Royals
Name: Royals is a decent name, it's nothing special but I think in terms of the rest of the branding that I'll talk about below, it wraps it up together really well. A (possible?) link to the Royal Family, love them or hate them, is pretty cool. Can't hate on this name, yet. 8/10
Logo: The logo is also pretty cool, I'm assuming it's a bit of a play on the lion being the King of the Jungle. Plus, when anyone thinks of a "royal" animal, a lion is probably one of the first ones most people think about. Overall, the logo is simpler but it looks good, and I like the art for the lion itself. As far as logo text this is one of the better cases, so it is what it is, and the crown is a nice final touch. 8/10
Location: If it's London, Ontario, absolutely gross. Awful. If it's London, England, ehh. We'll give it a pass because at least to me, it works well like stated above. However, I think it falls victim to the same sort of thing I talked about with Bondi Beach, but hey, it's a fake sim league, lets fuck shit up. 6/10
Colour Scheme: A base of black almost always results in a solid colour scheme, and gold is one of the better colours to add to it, so it is a great colour combination in general. That said, anyone else notice how many times I've said gold, or yellow, or part of the colour scheme so far? Might be good to lay off the colour a little bit, DSFL. 9/10
Minnesota Grey Ducks
Name: It can't be that good if it reminds me of a lamer version of the Golden Knights. Ducks is eh, and adding whatever colour doesn't make it that much better, but not much worse either, I suppose. 4/10
Logo: While no updated on the site banner, it looks like there is a new version of this logo, at least from the graphics folder. Less detailed, but I like the update in comparison. It looks good, you can tell it is a duck but if someone came up to me in the street it would probably take me a second. Similar to Dallas, the letter in the logo is unnecessary, and generally makes the logo worse. Look at Baltimore for example, same style, they don't need the letter to try and fill the logo out. 6/10
Location: Minnesota is pretty cool, so no hate towards Minnesota. I'm not that high on using provinces or states as team locations, because at the end of the day, you will likely be based in Minneapolis or St. Paul. That said, pretty much every Minnesota team uses Minnesota, so it works for them, but otherwise it gets a little iffy. 6/10
Colour Scheme: I have a soft spot for the dark blue, or anything close to it, and grey always goes well with it. Baby blue is a nice addition and white sums it up very well. Nothing too special, but I personally really like it. 8/10
Norfolk Seawolves
Name: Before I catch any hate, the Discord has it with no capitalization on the W so that's coming straight from the source. I was expecting it to be some random nonsense like the Birddogs, but turns out it's actually a class of submarine, so you learn something new everyday. I like it, probably one of the better ways to say a submarine is your mascot. 7/10
Logo: It's not awful, but it meets my Microsoft Paint critique for the Coyotes. Though on second thought, it is a bit more clip-art-y than anything else. Just looks dull, but I think the right ideas are there, also similar to the Coyotes. The radar in the back is a nice touch. 4/10
Location: The fact I don't know where it is is lame. Also everywhere a possible Norfolk is, is lame. Ontario? Okay hoser. Virginia? I forget it's a state along with Wyoming and Delaware. Britain? Yuck. 2/10
Colour Scheme: The combination is fine, you obviously have to have blue for a water-related mascot, the grey is meh, and black is alright. It looks fine but it's nothing special, it doesn't turn heads and I highly doubt it would be a favourite combination across the league. Just safe, but nothing wrong with that. 5/10
Portland Pythons
Name: I had an EASHL Club that I was a part of that was named the Pythons. We sucked pretty badly. I see it kind of the same as the Coyotes, but I do like it a bit better than the Coyotes, so we'll give a little bit of a boost for that. I'm taking that boost back though because some random Oregon page I found says there are no Pythons in Portland. 5/10
Logo: I like it, it's not my favourite but it is good. I like the look of the snake and ball, and how those work together, but I do think it might be better without the four-pointed stars behind. Although that might not be a popular opinion, and I could see how it may fall victim to being too vertical for a logo. 6/10
Location: Portland is alright, I don't know much about it but what I have heard about it is decent. No NFL team there but I don't care that much about that. Just meh I suppose, but could be convinced otherwise if any of you are from there. 5/10
Colour Scheme: Going back to that EASHL team, we were also green, black, and white. So a weird connection, but you know. Green isn't my favourite but it goes decently with black, and I've seen a couple of green pythons, likely handpicked pictures from when I played there with my last player! 6/10
Tijuana Luchadores
Name: I like it, it's a fun name and a cool concept. Wrestlers in a contact league like football, especially considering the front lines and tackles, fit. I don't know much about the culture bit but I do know it's popular in Mexico and I always thought the masks were really cool. For a Mexican team, I think it's pretty decent. 8/10
Logo: I like the logo quite a lot as well, and I think the use of grey makes the mask pop, shows off the colour they are known for having. I also really like the belt, with the Tijuana name printed inside, though the "Luchadores" text? Not so much. Though trying to fill in what could be there without the text, it might have been the right choice. Just not my favourite thing is all. 9/10
Location: I don't know much about Tijuana, but a quick search shows it's littered with great food, bars, and lucha libre. So the name fits well and seems like a good place to visit. 7/10
Colour Scheme: Red, green, and yellow make up the colour combination for the most part, with other colours to fill things out. Red, green, and white are likely pretty expected for a Mexican team, and yellow fits well. It's not the best all together but I think it fits for Tijuana specifically and works quite well for the team itself. 8/10
Final Ranking
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This final ranking mostly agrees with the numbers I gave, maybe a couple of teams swapped regardless of the average, but I never said I was going to weigh each aspect equally. I can't shake the feeling Norfolk seems too low, but at the same time, I can't justify moving it above any of the teams ranked before it, so it is what it is.
Anyway, I don't mean to trash any teams because what I like, someone may dislike, and the other way around. Especially with brandings, it can be pretty give or take, and it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I just thought it would be something to do before I actually join one of these teams (for real, Norfolk) in a couple of weeks, and make a little bit of cash for equipment.