07-25-2023, 01:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2023, 10:00 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 2 times in total.)
It has just been announced that demigod Spicy Ron is retiring after this season. From sources within the Ustin Copperheds, the team is looking to deal Ron to the Aaakron Groomsmen for the return of their As. Usurper GM Gadget had this to say, "Its time we return Ustin to it's former glory. His [unconfident] co allowed this mess, and I intend to fix it!" Due to previous interview errors, this reporter is no longer allowed within 50 feet of unconfident. The questions I yelled to him outside of the team's facilities went unanswered.
Relatively unknown Ustin staffer Frazzle had this to say, "Why are you bothering my players. More importantly, why are you talking to Gadget?! He is under a strict gag order in regards to the media." Ustin sure has a strange team dynamic.
When I reached out to the Aaakron law firm, Dewey, Cheatam, & Howe, I was informed that Aaakron is open to the possibility of a literal god playing for them, and they are willing to return the As to Ustin. It seems there is some potential for a workable solution after all. When I asked if Tank McGibbons would be part of the trade, I was referred back to Ustin, as the Groomsmen did not wish to discuss via an intermediary.
After adorning myself with the required vestments and "holy" oils, I was allowed into Spicy Ron's private locker room. The sounds of Korean Court Music will forever haunt my dreams. I asked Spicy Ron about the potential trade. He replied cryptically, "For far too long I have been bound by the chains of mortals, forced to endure the laws of man. Soon, the world will see my true form and understand the power within my being. I shall ascend to my full potential, and show the world how football is to be played." With that, Spicy Ron turned around and began to run a whetstone over his shoulder pads. There is something wrong with this whole team.
As I exited Ron's private locker room, Tank McGibbons was stumbling by. As has become his tradition, he made another inappropriate pass at me. I quickly headed to the front office.
Inside the front office, phones were ringing like crazy. It seems that my line of questioning actually caused Aaakron to reach out to Ustin regarding some trade proposal. Inverted was on the phone, seemingly leading the discussion. No GM, or usurper GM, was in sight. When asked what was happening, Inverted replied, "Shhhh we cooking here". It seems this story has not yet run its course.
After some time, Inverted hung up the phone, and approached a large white board. On it he began to write out the proposed trade. Aaakron is to receive Spicy Ron in his ascended form, a bottle of unconfident tears, and a single sock. In return, Ustin will receive their As. It was at this moment that unconfident and his co walked into the front office. All three huddled briefly to discuss the terms. I heard mention of severing two socks. I am unsure of what that could mean.
An intern that looked suspiciously like Gadget was sent to retrieve some onions. It appears that the trade has been finalized, and Austin is once again the Copperheads.
Relatively unknown Ustin staffer Frazzle had this to say, "Why are you bothering my players. More importantly, why are you talking to Gadget?! He is under a strict gag order in regards to the media." Ustin sure has a strange team dynamic.
When I reached out to the Aaakron law firm, Dewey, Cheatam, & Howe, I was informed that Aaakron is open to the possibility of a literal god playing for them, and they are willing to return the As to Ustin. It seems there is some potential for a workable solution after all. When I asked if Tank McGibbons would be part of the trade, I was referred back to Ustin, as the Groomsmen did not wish to discuss via an intermediary.
After adorning myself with the required vestments and "holy" oils, I was allowed into Spicy Ron's private locker room. The sounds of Korean Court Music will forever haunt my dreams. I asked Spicy Ron about the potential trade. He replied cryptically, "For far too long I have been bound by the chains of mortals, forced to endure the laws of man. Soon, the world will see my true form and understand the power within my being. I shall ascend to my full potential, and show the world how football is to be played." With that, Spicy Ron turned around and began to run a whetstone over his shoulder pads. There is something wrong with this whole team.
As I exited Ron's private locker room, Tank McGibbons was stumbling by. As has become his tradition, he made another inappropriate pass at me. I quickly headed to the front office.
Inside the front office, phones were ringing like crazy. It seems that my line of questioning actually caused Aaakron to reach out to Ustin regarding some trade proposal. Inverted was on the phone, seemingly leading the discussion. No GM, or usurper GM, was in sight. When asked what was happening, Inverted replied, "Shhhh we cooking here". It seems this story has not yet run its course.
After some time, Inverted hung up the phone, and approached a large white board. On it he began to write out the proposed trade. Aaakron is to receive Spicy Ron in his ascended form, a bottle of unconfident tears, and a single sock. In return, Ustin will receive their As. It was at this moment that unconfident and his co walked into the front office. All three huddled briefly to discuss the terms. I heard mention of severing two socks. I am unsure of what that could mean.
An intern that looked suspiciously like Gadget was sent to retrieve some onions. It appears that the trade has been finalized, and Austin is once again the Copperheads.