08-11-2023, 03:05 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-12-2023, 09:19 AM by Mojojojo. Edited 1 time in total.)
Ever wonder what is going through a kicker's head when they are about to kick a game-winning field goal? Ever wonder what they are thinking while sitting on the bench for 99% of the game? With new technology independently produced by the Xystarch Pasta Factory for the first time ever we are able to get inside the brain of rising star Zenzeroni Xystarch II. This new invention, lovingly named “The Noodler” traces neurons from the stethoscope to the garbanzo bean and connects with the Wonder valve next to the Pituitary vein that functions in order to demonstrate hemoglobin activity from the foot to the brain. With all of these things implemented properly, we get an accurate reading of Zenzeroni’s thoughts as he goes about his day-to-day activities throughout the game. So without further ado, we at the Xystarch factory would like to introduce Episode 1 of Zen Thoughts. Please Enjoy.
WARNING: Vulgar language ahead
*Italics indicate a thought produced by Zenzeroni
*Bold indicates context/miscellaneous info
Pregame Bucs @ Seawolves: Why can’t we play all our games at Bondi Beach? Who decided Norfolk was a good place to have a team anyways? The field should be reevaluated by officials because there is no way this is regulation. I can’t get a good footing anywhere how the hell am I supposed to kick the ball in these conditions? Zenzeroni looks across the field at the competition: They looked terrible in the preseason so this should be a cakewalk I mean they look like a bunch of middle schoolers out there. Even I could probably score a touchdown on them. Where is Crazy Tomato I need to give him a piece of my mind. Oh yeah, he’s not on this team. He sucks anyway. Zenzeroni walks toward the center logo and begins doing a very strange Buccaneer/Pirate Tik Tok dance at the 50; Aye aye aye aye RRRRRRRRR aye aye aye aye RRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Oh, that is going to slap. Bucs fans are going to love that. And the Seawolves don’t have any fans to begin with so there is no one to get angry with me.
The captains of both teams go forward and do the coin toss with the Bucs winning the toss: TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILSSSSSSSS!!! LET”S GOOOOOOO we want to kick we want to kick we want to kick….”The Bucs have won the coin toss and elected to receive to begin the second half”. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet let’s get it on!
Kickoff: Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully, Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully, Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully…. Woahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! No shot he returns that….that’s what I thought I AM HIM. DON’T MESS WITH ME. Maybe next time I purposely leave it short so that he can get decimated by the best special teams in the league. AKA the BBB BABY!
Norfolk punt 13:00 in the 1st Quarter: Who is their punter? 36 yards and he wasn’t even under pressure? I mean come on I could do better with my eyes closed. I need to give him some tips after the game because that was just pathetic. Pete Moss didn’t even have to return it and we already have great field position.
BBB 4th &1 10:06 in the 1st Quarter: So I put my helmet on, stretched my legs, did a Fortnite dance, drank a cup of haterade and you decide to go for it on 4th and 1? Not only that but you didn’t even succeed???? What kind of playcalling was that Duma you are supposed to be the veteran on the team how in the world did you drop that?!! Should have let me punt they would have been pinned on the 1 yard line. Instead, they are on the 50!
The very next play: HOLY GUACAMOLE INTERCEPTION! Our defense is built different great pick HugAndKiss you got better hands than Duma over there. Now let’s get into field goal range and let me do my thing I’m itching to show off what I got.
BBB 4th & 3 8:09 in the 1st Quarter: Zenzeroni attempts to slam his helmet into the ground but can’t get a good grip on it and it fumbles onto the ground. He looks at it in anger and kicks it and it gets sent flying nearly hitting one of his teammates in the process. We have a great kicker they said. We drafted him in the second round they said. We drafted him BEFORE Crazy Tomato they said. And yet they don’t even use me! The second time we go for it on 4th down and one of our receivers fails to do their job and CATCH THE BALL. What the hell are we even doing I mean come on! Put me in coach I’m ready to play.
Norfolk field goal is good (0-3) 4:15 1st Quarter: That could be us but our coach refuses to let me kick the ball and do my job. Or at the very least pin them way back in their own half of the field. Instead, we have given them two prime opportunities to score. Luckily our defense has limited them the best they can but it could be 3-0 us even 6-0 us or at the very least still 0-0. But noooooo we got too greedy and all our receivers are eating butterfingers out here so we can’t convert a first down to save our lives!
Thor to Passarelli for a touchdown (6-3) 1:43 1st Quarter: Great drive, great drive. Love seeing my fellow rookies showing up. Great run by Passarelli and a great pass from Thor. I don’t think Thor is to blame too much for our failures so far. But BMP is literally carrying us right now. Great runs from him are what led to this point and….. Oh wait I need to kick the extra point SHIT! Zenzeroni converts the extra point giving the Bucs a 7-3 lead. It’s not even hard. It’s not even hard! Please! Give me a challenge! It’s boring just kicking extra points when you are absolutely automatic from anywhere on the field. Norfolk I dare you to stop us on the 40 and see what happens because I do. Not. Miss.
Kickoff returned to the 21 by Norfolk: I hit that soft just so he could return that and lose field position. Returners ALWAYS think they are better than they actually are. And I’ve got an elite special teams behind me why not put them to good use? Have fun trying to get out of the hole you dug yourselves Seawolves.
43-yard pass to Sanchez from Thor tackled at Norfolk 35: Great pass and catch Thor and Sanchez but now you can go ahead and let the drive peter out. No need to make any more progress let me show 'em’ what I got. Bucs unable to get a first down goes to 4th & 4 and are set up for a 45-yard field goal. That is what I’m talking about let’s show ‘em how it’s done! Zenzeroni does his pre-kick ritual of untying his shoe putting an uncooked piece of pasta in his cooking kicking shoe and sets up for the kick which he drills. I will be here all week. I could make a 70-yarder if I wanted to this is light work. These are warm-up kicks I mean come on! No one can even touch me. I am the best kicker that has ever lived and it isn't even a debate!
Kickoff returned to the 11 by Norfolk: These returners really went “Well we made it to the 21 last time maybe we can do better? Do you know who you are dealing with? Special teams and kicking specialist Zenzeroni mf Xystarch the Second! And I got my swashbucklin’ gang behind me there ain’t no way you are returning that and expecting anything positive to come out of that. Call for a touchback. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!
BMP fumble (10-3) 12:11 2nd Quarter: Noooooooooo. You were doing so good! Tough loss got to hold onto the ball there with the great position given to us by the Seawolves' TERRIBLE punter. We had the ball on the 50 and couldn’t capitalize. Disappointing. More disappointing that I didn’t get a chance to kick but disappointing nonetheless.
Cleocatchta Interception (10-3) 7:05 2nd Quarter: Cleocatchra clutch interception! Our offense may not be showing up but our defense sure is. Let’s gooo! On the 1 yard line too! Can’t get more clutch than that. 2 interceptions in the first half by our defense is a recipe for success any day of the week! Now if our offense will only do something maybe I will get the chance for another field goal.
4th & 1 Bucs 42 (10-3) 2:40 2nd Quarter: I swear if we decide to go for it again and another one of our receivers drops the ball I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. Like you have the best kicker/punter and you aren’t even using him properly to win the game how stupid can you be? If I were in charge I would fi—. The coach had been yelling at Zenzeroni to get on the field to punt for 30 seconds and Zenzeroni finally hears it and kicks a 51-yard punt to pin the Seawolves on their own 7. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE ME. No one is better than me. The Seawolves might as well give up now because they are never getting good field position with me on the field. I never doubted coach for a second. Not one second. Every decision from coach is for the good of the team and I totally understand that. What am I thinking??? Coach has made two terrible decisions that have already cost us good field position and potential points. And now that I think of it coach is ---------------------------------------- *FEED CUT*
45-yard field goal good (13-3) 00:13 2nd Quarter: Great running from BMP to get us in that position nothing I like more than a last-second field goal at the end of a half. 2 45 yard field goals ain’t too bad for a legend like me. I’ve scored more points than our entire offense at this point 7>6. I am the offense right now. Without me it would be a nail-biting 6-3 game instead we are cruising with a 2-score lead all thanks to me. Man, I am so humble Bucs should be so happy they drafted me.
4th & 9 Bucs 13 (13-3) 13:50 3rd Quarter: Another shocking performance by my precious little Bucs offense means I have to drag my ass off the bench and try and save us from complete despair. A 58-yard punt from Zenzeroni to put the Seawolves on their own 29. I did the best I could do with them going 3 and out deep in our own territory they made it pretty hard to pin the Seawolves any further back. Like at least get one first down to give me some breathing room instead of kicking out of our own endzone. You are welcome by the way to our defense for still putting the ball on the 29 because, at the end of the day, this is just what I do. I do my job. Why doesn’t the offense do theirs?
4th & 2 Bucs 15 (13-3) 7:56 3rd Quarter: Here we go again it’s the same thing every drive. Like, get a first down at the very least. I like kicking but I like kicking in a position that can really do some damage. A 47-yard punt from Zenzeroni to put the Seawolves on their own 38. Not my best punt but I’m blaming this on being too frustrated at the offense to kick straight. They need to get it together. The only reason we are still winning is because our defense is showing up and showing out today. And of course my amazing kicks.
Seawolves go for it on 4th & 9 at the 50 with 4:34 to go in the 3rd Quarter: I thought our coach made some boneheaded moves but what was that? Their offense has been stuffed all game long and their kicker can’t kick it over 30 yards. This was a perfect opportunity to pin us way back on our own side of the field but now we have great field position and I look forward to punting the ball when we inevitably go 3 and out. The Bucs get a first down before the drive stalls and Zenzeroni punts the ball for a touchback. I’m just too strong for my own good. They don’t understand the power that my leg carries. I can only keep it calm for so long before it needs to be unleashed I probably could have made a field goal from where I punted though so maybe we should have done that instead.
Seawolves touchdown (13-10) 00:19 3rd Quarter: It was bound to happen eventually. The offense is leaving our defense out to dry with all the time the defense has been forced to stand out there. While the offense is sitting next to the air conditioning and getting water and food, our defense is in the trenches trying to keep this game in our favor. Oh man, that new video game just released recently and I need to start playing it BG3 I think was the name of it I should see if I can install it and set it up somewhere around here…..
Start of the 4th Quarter. Sweet Caroline is playing: ….Hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you…..DUM DUM DUM…..So good! So good! So good!.....DUM DUM DUM DUM…..oh shit nice run by BMP!
Interception Bucs 9:38 4th Quarter: Thor what the hell are you doing? That throw was directly to the defender! Like it wasn’t even close! Passarelli is way faster than that even I know that. I mean I guess maybe there was some pressure but that was a terrible decision. And we were finally marching down the field! We were at least in field goal position and you go and pull this! In the fourth quarter?! This game is way closer than it should be.
Touchdown (extra point good) Bucs 1:29 (20-10) 4th Quarter: Who would have thought a drive that incorporates our running backs and star receivers would end in a touchdown? It also helps that our receivers decided to learn how to catch the ball during their time off the field. But I suppose when you spend so much time off the field you are bound to learn something new. Speaking of which I need to level up my character in BG3. Where did they put my PC? I thought I put it down right next to the cameras so that it would blend in with the rest of the equipment and not look like I wasn’t paying attention but now it isn’t there. Oh shit coach is walking towards me. Act casual. If they ask just say you dropped your pocket or something…..
Final Score: 20-10 Bucs win: Easy win might as well give us the Ultimini now. Never a doubt in my mind we were winning that. Zenzeroni finds out they are playing the Birddogs and Pythons the next two weeks. Oh man, I need to find an excuse to miss those two games. Well… I think I can handle the Birddogs but the Pythons…. Hmmmm I burned my foot while making pasta and can’t kick. No that’s dumb. I was injured doing my post-game Tik Tok dance. No that’s not good. Believable yes. But I would look dumb if they thought that actually happened. I had Mexican food the night before….. Eh, I’m going to have to play. Hopefully, the Birddogs and Pythons don’t kill me. Why can’t we play the Coyotes every week? I want to see Crazy Tomato’s face when I kick a ball right over his smug little face for a game-winning field goal. Or play against the Royals so that I can Orange Justice in front of Orange Julius when we easily defeat them. Either way, no team stands a chance against the best kicker in the world. And if they do I can promise that I will---- oh the hot tub is open? I got to call dibs before everyone else starts to show up.
And that concludes episode 1 of Zen Thoughts. Zenzeroni will be hooked up to “The Noodler” throughout the season and we will have reports from him after every game hopefully!
Zenzeroni’s final stat line Week 1 @ Norfolk Seawolves
XP FG <20 30-39 40-49 50+
2/2 0/0 0/0 2/2 0/0
Punts Yards Average Long Inside 20
4 198 49.5 58 1
WARNING: Vulgar language ahead
*Italics indicate a thought produced by Zenzeroni
*Bold indicates context/miscellaneous info
Pregame Bucs @ Seawolves: Why can’t we play all our games at Bondi Beach? Who decided Norfolk was a good place to have a team anyways? The field should be reevaluated by officials because there is no way this is regulation. I can’t get a good footing anywhere how the hell am I supposed to kick the ball in these conditions? Zenzeroni looks across the field at the competition: They looked terrible in the preseason so this should be a cakewalk I mean they look like a bunch of middle schoolers out there. Even I could probably score a touchdown on them. Where is Crazy Tomato I need to give him a piece of my mind. Oh yeah, he’s not on this team. He sucks anyway. Zenzeroni walks toward the center logo and begins doing a very strange Buccaneer/Pirate Tik Tok dance at the 50; Aye aye aye aye RRRRRRRRR aye aye aye aye RRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Oh, that is going to slap. Bucs fans are going to love that. And the Seawolves don’t have any fans to begin with so there is no one to get angry with me.
The captains of both teams go forward and do the coin toss with the Bucs winning the toss: TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILSSSSSSSS!!! LET”S GOOOOOOO we want to kick we want to kick we want to kick….”The Bucs have won the coin toss and elected to receive to begin the second half”. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet let’s get it on!
Kickoff: Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully, Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully, Crazy Tomato is the ball you are the bully…. Woahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! No shot he returns that….that’s what I thought I AM HIM. DON’T MESS WITH ME. Maybe next time I purposely leave it short so that he can get decimated by the best special teams in the league. AKA the BBB BABY!
Norfolk punt 13:00 in the 1st Quarter: Who is their punter? 36 yards and he wasn’t even under pressure? I mean come on I could do better with my eyes closed. I need to give him some tips after the game because that was just pathetic. Pete Moss didn’t even have to return it and we already have great field position.
BBB 4th &1 10:06 in the 1st Quarter: So I put my helmet on, stretched my legs, did a Fortnite dance, drank a cup of haterade and you decide to go for it on 4th and 1? Not only that but you didn’t even succeed???? What kind of playcalling was that Duma you are supposed to be the veteran on the team how in the world did you drop that?!! Should have let me punt they would have been pinned on the 1 yard line. Instead, they are on the 50!
The very next play: HOLY GUACAMOLE INTERCEPTION! Our defense is built different great pick HugAndKiss you got better hands than Duma over there. Now let’s get into field goal range and let me do my thing I’m itching to show off what I got.
BBB 4th & 3 8:09 in the 1st Quarter: Zenzeroni attempts to slam his helmet into the ground but can’t get a good grip on it and it fumbles onto the ground. He looks at it in anger and kicks it and it gets sent flying nearly hitting one of his teammates in the process. We have a great kicker they said. We drafted him in the second round they said. We drafted him BEFORE Crazy Tomato they said. And yet they don’t even use me! The second time we go for it on 4th down and one of our receivers fails to do their job and CATCH THE BALL. What the hell are we even doing I mean come on! Put me in coach I’m ready to play.
Norfolk field goal is good (0-3) 4:15 1st Quarter: That could be us but our coach refuses to let me kick the ball and do my job. Or at the very least pin them way back in their own half of the field. Instead, we have given them two prime opportunities to score. Luckily our defense has limited them the best they can but it could be 3-0 us even 6-0 us or at the very least still 0-0. But noooooo we got too greedy and all our receivers are eating butterfingers out here so we can’t convert a first down to save our lives!
Thor to Passarelli for a touchdown (6-3) 1:43 1st Quarter: Great drive, great drive. Love seeing my fellow rookies showing up. Great run by Passarelli and a great pass from Thor. I don’t think Thor is to blame too much for our failures so far. But BMP is literally carrying us right now. Great runs from him are what led to this point and….. Oh wait I need to kick the extra point SHIT! Zenzeroni converts the extra point giving the Bucs a 7-3 lead. It’s not even hard. It’s not even hard! Please! Give me a challenge! It’s boring just kicking extra points when you are absolutely automatic from anywhere on the field. Norfolk I dare you to stop us on the 40 and see what happens because I do. Not. Miss.
Kickoff returned to the 21 by Norfolk: I hit that soft just so he could return that and lose field position. Returners ALWAYS think they are better than they actually are. And I’ve got an elite special teams behind me why not put them to good use? Have fun trying to get out of the hole you dug yourselves Seawolves.
43-yard pass to Sanchez from Thor tackled at Norfolk 35: Great pass and catch Thor and Sanchez but now you can go ahead and let the drive peter out. No need to make any more progress let me show 'em’ what I got. Bucs unable to get a first down goes to 4th & 4 and are set up for a 45-yard field goal. That is what I’m talking about let’s show ‘em how it’s done! Zenzeroni does his pre-kick ritual of untying his shoe putting an uncooked piece of pasta in his cooking kicking shoe and sets up for the kick which he drills. I will be here all week. I could make a 70-yarder if I wanted to this is light work. These are warm-up kicks I mean come on! No one can even touch me. I am the best kicker that has ever lived and it isn't even a debate!
Kickoff returned to the 11 by Norfolk: These returners really went “Well we made it to the 21 last time maybe we can do better? Do you know who you are dealing with? Special teams and kicking specialist Zenzeroni mf Xystarch the Second! And I got my swashbucklin’ gang behind me there ain’t no way you are returning that and expecting anything positive to come out of that. Call for a touchback. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!
BMP fumble (10-3) 12:11 2nd Quarter: Noooooooooo. You were doing so good! Tough loss got to hold onto the ball there with the great position given to us by the Seawolves' TERRIBLE punter. We had the ball on the 50 and couldn’t capitalize. Disappointing. More disappointing that I didn’t get a chance to kick but disappointing nonetheless.
Cleocatchta Interception (10-3) 7:05 2nd Quarter: Cleocatchra clutch interception! Our offense may not be showing up but our defense sure is. Let’s gooo! On the 1 yard line too! Can’t get more clutch than that. 2 interceptions in the first half by our defense is a recipe for success any day of the week! Now if our offense will only do something maybe I will get the chance for another field goal.
4th & 1 Bucs 42 (10-3) 2:40 2nd Quarter: I swear if we decide to go for it again and another one of our receivers drops the ball I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. Like you have the best kicker/punter and you aren’t even using him properly to win the game how stupid can you be? If I were in charge I would fi—. The coach had been yelling at Zenzeroni to get on the field to punt for 30 seconds and Zenzeroni finally hears it and kicks a 51-yard punt to pin the Seawolves on their own 7. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE ME. No one is better than me. The Seawolves might as well give up now because they are never getting good field position with me on the field. I never doubted coach for a second. Not one second. Every decision from coach is for the good of the team and I totally understand that. What am I thinking??? Coach has made two terrible decisions that have already cost us good field position and potential points. And now that I think of it coach is ---------------------------------------- *FEED CUT*
45-yard field goal good (13-3) 00:13 2nd Quarter: Great running from BMP to get us in that position nothing I like more than a last-second field goal at the end of a half. 2 45 yard field goals ain’t too bad for a legend like me. I’ve scored more points than our entire offense at this point 7>6. I am the offense right now. Without me it would be a nail-biting 6-3 game instead we are cruising with a 2-score lead all thanks to me. Man, I am so humble Bucs should be so happy they drafted me.
4th & 9 Bucs 13 (13-3) 13:50 3rd Quarter: Another shocking performance by my precious little Bucs offense means I have to drag my ass off the bench and try and save us from complete despair. A 58-yard punt from Zenzeroni to put the Seawolves on their own 29. I did the best I could do with them going 3 and out deep in our own territory they made it pretty hard to pin the Seawolves any further back. Like at least get one first down to give me some breathing room instead of kicking out of our own endzone. You are welcome by the way to our defense for still putting the ball on the 29 because, at the end of the day, this is just what I do. I do my job. Why doesn’t the offense do theirs?
4th & 2 Bucs 15 (13-3) 7:56 3rd Quarter: Here we go again it’s the same thing every drive. Like, get a first down at the very least. I like kicking but I like kicking in a position that can really do some damage. A 47-yard punt from Zenzeroni to put the Seawolves on their own 38. Not my best punt but I’m blaming this on being too frustrated at the offense to kick straight. They need to get it together. The only reason we are still winning is because our defense is showing up and showing out today. And of course my amazing kicks.
Seawolves go for it on 4th & 9 at the 50 with 4:34 to go in the 3rd Quarter: I thought our coach made some boneheaded moves but what was that? Their offense has been stuffed all game long and their kicker can’t kick it over 30 yards. This was a perfect opportunity to pin us way back on our own side of the field but now we have great field position and I look forward to punting the ball when we inevitably go 3 and out. The Bucs get a first down before the drive stalls and Zenzeroni punts the ball for a touchback. I’m just too strong for my own good. They don’t understand the power that my leg carries. I can only keep it calm for so long before it needs to be unleashed I probably could have made a field goal from where I punted though so maybe we should have done that instead.
Seawolves touchdown (13-10) 00:19 3rd Quarter: It was bound to happen eventually. The offense is leaving our defense out to dry with all the time the defense has been forced to stand out there. While the offense is sitting next to the air conditioning and getting water and food, our defense is in the trenches trying to keep this game in our favor. Oh man, that new video game just released recently and I need to start playing it BG3 I think was the name of it I should see if I can install it and set it up somewhere around here…..
Start of the 4th Quarter. Sweet Caroline is playing: ….Hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you…..DUM DUM DUM…..So good! So good! So good!.....DUM DUM DUM DUM…..oh shit nice run by BMP!
Interception Bucs 9:38 4th Quarter: Thor what the hell are you doing? That throw was directly to the defender! Like it wasn’t even close! Passarelli is way faster than that even I know that. I mean I guess maybe there was some pressure but that was a terrible decision. And we were finally marching down the field! We were at least in field goal position and you go and pull this! In the fourth quarter?! This game is way closer than it should be.
Touchdown (extra point good) Bucs 1:29 (20-10) 4th Quarter: Who would have thought a drive that incorporates our running backs and star receivers would end in a touchdown? It also helps that our receivers decided to learn how to catch the ball during their time off the field. But I suppose when you spend so much time off the field you are bound to learn something new. Speaking of which I need to level up my character in BG3. Where did they put my PC? I thought I put it down right next to the cameras so that it would blend in with the rest of the equipment and not look like I wasn’t paying attention but now it isn’t there. Oh shit coach is walking towards me. Act casual. If they ask just say you dropped your pocket or something…..
Final Score: 20-10 Bucs win: Easy win might as well give us the Ultimini now. Never a doubt in my mind we were winning that. Zenzeroni finds out they are playing the Birddogs and Pythons the next two weeks. Oh man, I need to find an excuse to miss those two games. Well… I think I can handle the Birddogs but the Pythons…. Hmmmm I burned my foot while making pasta and can’t kick. No that’s dumb. I was injured doing my post-game Tik Tok dance. No that’s not good. Believable yes. But I would look dumb if they thought that actually happened. I had Mexican food the night before….. Eh, I’m going to have to play. Hopefully, the Birddogs and Pythons don’t kill me. Why can’t we play the Coyotes every week? I want to see Crazy Tomato’s face when I kick a ball right over his smug little face for a game-winning field goal. Or play against the Royals so that I can Orange Justice in front of Orange Julius when we easily defeat them. Either way, no team stands a chance against the best kicker in the world. And if they do I can promise that I will---- oh the hot tub is open? I got to call dibs before everyone else starts to show up.
And that concludes episode 1 of Zen Thoughts. Zenzeroni will be hooked up to “The Noodler” throughout the season and we will have reports from him after every game hopefully!
Zenzeroni’s final stat line Week 1 @ Norfolk Seawolves
XP FG <20 30-39 40-49 50+
2/2 0/0 0/0 2/2 0/0
Punts Yards Average Long Inside 20
4 198 49.5 58 1