08-21-2023, 08:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2023, 09:35 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 1 time in total.)
Through four weeks of the DSFL Season, let's take a look at the standings and go through my #1 thru #8 power rankings thus far.
#1 - Dallas Birddogs 4-0
Coming in first place, we've got my very own Dallas Birddogs, who are off to a scorching 4-0 start to the season. While Dallas has come out on top in each of those games, they weren't without their nervous moments. The first three victories were by a combined 14 points (5, 5, 4) and had Birddog fans sweating bullets until the very end. The most recent win was by double-digits, which provided some relief, but you won't hear any complaints coming from the Dallas faithful. They're sitting in prime position for a playoff berth and are looking like one of the best teams in the league. A key part of their success so far has been their three-headed attack at running back with Reginald Arceneaux, Marty Crane, and myself who help power the offense. That trio has combined for 431 yards, 3 TD, and 5.46 yards per carry and shows no signs of slowing down. And we can't forget about the dynamic duo of Lane Frost III and La'Fluke Paris-Johnson at wide receiver, who continue to make eye-popping play after eye-popping play. They have virtually identical statlines (332 yards, 2 TD and 339 yards, 2 TD, respectively) and are causing headaches for opposing defenses. With the solid offense and timely defense, look for Dallas to continue their winning ways but for the sake of all their fans' collective blood pressures, lets hope there are fewer one-score outcomes the rest of the way.
#2 - Portland Pythons 3-1
It was very tempting to put Portland in the top spot, but as a famous coach once said: "You are what your record says you are." So the Pythons come in at number two, but they look like early Ultimini favorites through four games. They lead the league in points score, points allowed, and their lone loss was a near-comeback against Tijuana that came just two points short. When it comes to outstanding performers, you cannot start that list without QB Jay Cue III who is an early MVP favorite. Cue leads the league in quarterback rating, passing touchdowns, completion percentage, and yards per attempt. On top of that, he's thrown just one interception and has been as impressive as any player at any position this year. Cue has also spread the ball around, keeping defenses on their toes. Four Pythons have 185+ yards receiving, proving that they can produce big plays across their roster. In the special teams department, Portland has been no less impressive as Unuway Jepthat has been perfect on field goals and extra points. Jepthat also ranks third in yards per punt, showing off their chops as a two-way player. On defense, a pair of linebackers help lead the way with Hamburger Harmer and Thor Dangerson who have a combined 55 tackles and 6 interceptions. There just aren't any holes on this Portland roster and it won't surprise anyone to see them hoist the ultimate prize come season's end.
#3 - Bondi Beach Buccaneers 2-2
In the third spot, we've got the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Thanks to their stout defense, they're third in the league in scoring margin and second in points allowed overall. After a pair of tough losses in weeks two and three, the Bucs got back on track with a resounding victory over London last week, 44-7. That offensive explosion might be just what the doctor ordered to spark them moving forward as they continue to vie for postseason berth. They currently sport the league's second most prolific rushing offense, totaling 566 yards so far this season. Bertie Mannering-Phipps is doing most of the heavy lifting for Triple-B, averaging nearly 100 yards per game and an impressive 5.3 yards per carry on the season. Mannering-Phipps is currently second among all players in rushing yards, which will certainly put them at the forefront of awards discussions should those numbers continue to climb. On defense, Meowchael Cleocatchra is equally as impressive at corner as BM-P is at running back. Cleocatchra leads all players with 12 PDs and a pair of interceptions, proving to be a true shutdown corner for Bondi Beach. Having someone like that to completely eliminate half the field is a massive advantage for the Buccaneers and has caused offenses to get more than a little creative when it comes to gameplanning. This isn't a team without a wart or two, but you can't argue with the stellar pieces at critically important spots on their roster. If they can shore up some consistency, this could be a team to make waves down the road.
#4 - Tijuana Luchadores 2-2
Tijuana gets the #4 slot in my rankings as they're coming off a massive win over the previously unbeaten Portland Pythons. The Luchadores have the second best scoring offense in the league and are the only team with a positive scoring differential left in our rankings. Much like Portland, Tijuana is led by a prolific passing attack headed by C.G Breezy Jr. at quarterback. Breezy Jr. leads the league in passing yards and ranks second in touchdowns and passer rating. If not for Cue's hot start, Breezy would be one of the runaway MVP favorites at this point in the season. Kyle Bessey does the heavy lifting for Tijuana on the ground, rushing for 308 yards at a very impressive 5.5 yards per carry average thus far. Iman Outlaw (4 sacks) and Robert Green (10 PD) help lead the defense for Tijuana, with each putting up strong numbers through four games. The most impressive part of the Luchadores' season so far has been their ability to rally the troops, circle the wagons, and any other metaphor you want to use to describe their comeback ability. After starting the season 0-2 with two close losses, they bounced back in a massive way with back to back wins over London and Portland where they averaged 35 points per game. If that offensive output can even come close to that level over the rest of the season, this team is a title contender. With Breezy Jr at the helm, anything is possible for this Tijuana squad.
#5 - London Royals 2-2
Everybody's favorite European squad checks in at the #5 spot. They're coming off a couple unfortunate losses after starting the season 2-0, but look to rebound with important games coming up this week. You can't talk about London without their incredible two-headed monster at wide receiver with Mega Tron and Orange Julius. This pair has a combined 777 yards and 4 TD on the season and are showing no signs of slowing down. On defense, the Royals have an impressive attacking scheme which leads the league in sacks (18), forced fumbles (11), and fumble recoveries (8). They also have the second most tackles for loss and have made a habit of harassing the opposition on a regular basis. Special teams are also extra special for the Royals as they lead all teams in average yards per kick return and rank second in average yards per punt return. Not to mention that kicker Wayne Rooney has the second longest made field goal this season at 52 yards. All in all, this is a squad who will go as far as their suffocating defense will carry them. If their offense manages to wake up from its slumber, watch out. You don't want to be trailing this squad late in the game - your quarterback will be running for their life against the blitzing onslaught of London. They could be sneaky good later this season.
#6 - Norfolk Seawolves 1-3
Norfolk slides into the 6th ranking spot, but they are just a few plays away from being easily in the top three. Their last two games have been losses by a combined six points and their Week 1 defeat was a valiant 20-10 effort against the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. They could very well pass London if this ranking was updated after the Week 5 games with the Seawolves hosting the Royals tomorrow in a massive game with huge playoff implications. The Seawolves have the 4th best scoring defense which has allowed them to be competitive week in and week out. Maximus Boudreaux leads the way on offense at quarterback and has posted a strong season through four weeks. Boudreaux ranks second in the league in passing yards and has connected over and over again with wide outs Tyler Hunt (422 yards, 3 TD) and Diego López de Castilla (373 yards, 1 TD) to torture defenses. Those passing yards have not translated to many touchdowns, throwing just four on the season, but you have to figure that those numbers will eventually even out over the course of a full season. Norfolk just needs to squeeze a little more production out of their offense and they could make a realistic run at the postseason. The defense is already stifling enough to carry them and all Boudreaux needs to do is find Hunt and Lopez de Castilla for six just a little more often.
#7 - Minnesota Grey Ducks 1-3
Minnesota comes in at #7 as the second of the 1-3 trio of teams in DSFL this season. All three of their losses have been by double digits, but it's not all bad news for everyone's favorite avian franchise. Rookie running back Ivan Ivanov has been impressive thus far, racking up 271 yards and a pair of touchdowns to help power the Grey Ducks' offense. Tua TurnDaBallOva, another rookie, has shown flashes of brilliance at QB but needs more consistency for Minnesota to realistically improve this season. It's a young squad at the skill positions, which bodes well for the future. They will need a break or two to make it t o the playoffs, but you never know how things will turn out in the DSFL. There have been bigger turnarounds before, so I wouldn't put it past the Minnesota team to make the necessary adjustments and give the postseason a sweat down the road. If Tua cuts down on the turnovers and Ivanov has a Rookie of the Year type campaign down the stretch, look out. We could all be drinking chocolate (choccy) milk come season's end. Another player who can help turn the tide for the Grey Ducks is Norman Smiley, a standout linebacker who is near the top of the league leaderboard in sacks and tackles for loss. They'll need some heroic play in the coming weeks, but anything is possible.
#8 - Kansas City Coyotes 1-3
Last but certainly not least is the Kansas City Coyotes, coming in at 1-3 and the 8th place team in my power rankings. Unfortunately for the Coyotes, they have the worst scoring offense and 4th worst scoring defense in the league so far, which does not inspire a ton of confidence for the rest of their season. At running back, Anakin Skywalker leads the way with 335 rushing yards and a nice 4.8 yard per carry average. That 335 rushing yard figure ranks third in the league and he could very well end up being the Chosen One who wins RBoTY come season's end. Jason West is his padawan in the backfield who has accounted for 235 rushing yards of his own as the Coyotes have gone full rushing attack so far this season. Gaius Gleel is their standout on defense and on the shortlist for linebacker of the year with a league-leading 40 tackles, 3 tackles for loss, and an interception. The creatively named Antonio Croyotie is holding down the secondary for Kansas City, hauling in an interception and adding on eight PDs to help stymie quarterbacks and wide receivers alike. Kansas City can surely turn this season around, but it will require Anakin Skywalker attaining the rank of master, which has previously been denied to him. If the Coyotes' struggles continue, there's a rumor that the franchise will send Anakin to the barren wasteland of the American desert, which would be especially difficult due to his hatred of sand. Fingers crossed for Kansas City, though!
Hope y'all enjoyed my power rankings and didn't take them too seriously.
2,036 words
#1 - Dallas Birddogs 4-0
Coming in first place, we've got my very own Dallas Birddogs, who are off to a scorching 4-0 start to the season. While Dallas has come out on top in each of those games, they weren't without their nervous moments. The first three victories were by a combined 14 points (5, 5, 4) and had Birddog fans sweating bullets until the very end. The most recent win was by double-digits, which provided some relief, but you won't hear any complaints coming from the Dallas faithful. They're sitting in prime position for a playoff berth and are looking like one of the best teams in the league. A key part of their success so far has been their three-headed attack at running back with Reginald Arceneaux, Marty Crane, and myself who help power the offense. That trio has combined for 431 yards, 3 TD, and 5.46 yards per carry and shows no signs of slowing down. And we can't forget about the dynamic duo of Lane Frost III and La'Fluke Paris-Johnson at wide receiver, who continue to make eye-popping play after eye-popping play. They have virtually identical statlines (332 yards, 2 TD and 339 yards, 2 TD, respectively) and are causing headaches for opposing defenses. With the solid offense and timely defense, look for Dallas to continue their winning ways but for the sake of all their fans' collective blood pressures, lets hope there are fewer one-score outcomes the rest of the way.
#2 - Portland Pythons 3-1
It was very tempting to put Portland in the top spot, but as a famous coach once said: "You are what your record says you are." So the Pythons come in at number two, but they look like early Ultimini favorites through four games. They lead the league in points score, points allowed, and their lone loss was a near-comeback against Tijuana that came just two points short. When it comes to outstanding performers, you cannot start that list without QB Jay Cue III who is an early MVP favorite. Cue leads the league in quarterback rating, passing touchdowns, completion percentage, and yards per attempt. On top of that, he's thrown just one interception and has been as impressive as any player at any position this year. Cue has also spread the ball around, keeping defenses on their toes. Four Pythons have 185+ yards receiving, proving that they can produce big plays across their roster. In the special teams department, Portland has been no less impressive as Unuway Jepthat has been perfect on field goals and extra points. Jepthat also ranks third in yards per punt, showing off their chops as a two-way player. On defense, a pair of linebackers help lead the way with Hamburger Harmer and Thor Dangerson who have a combined 55 tackles and 6 interceptions. There just aren't any holes on this Portland roster and it won't surprise anyone to see them hoist the ultimate prize come season's end.
#3 - Bondi Beach Buccaneers 2-2
In the third spot, we've got the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Thanks to their stout defense, they're third in the league in scoring margin and second in points allowed overall. After a pair of tough losses in weeks two and three, the Bucs got back on track with a resounding victory over London last week, 44-7. That offensive explosion might be just what the doctor ordered to spark them moving forward as they continue to vie for postseason berth. They currently sport the league's second most prolific rushing offense, totaling 566 yards so far this season. Bertie Mannering-Phipps is doing most of the heavy lifting for Triple-B, averaging nearly 100 yards per game and an impressive 5.3 yards per carry on the season. Mannering-Phipps is currently second among all players in rushing yards, which will certainly put them at the forefront of awards discussions should those numbers continue to climb. On defense, Meowchael Cleocatchra is equally as impressive at corner as BM-P is at running back. Cleocatchra leads all players with 12 PDs and a pair of interceptions, proving to be a true shutdown corner for Bondi Beach. Having someone like that to completely eliminate half the field is a massive advantage for the Buccaneers and has caused offenses to get more than a little creative when it comes to gameplanning. This isn't a team without a wart or two, but you can't argue with the stellar pieces at critically important spots on their roster. If they can shore up some consistency, this could be a team to make waves down the road.
#4 - Tijuana Luchadores 2-2
Tijuana gets the #4 slot in my rankings as they're coming off a massive win over the previously unbeaten Portland Pythons. The Luchadores have the second best scoring offense in the league and are the only team with a positive scoring differential left in our rankings. Much like Portland, Tijuana is led by a prolific passing attack headed by C.G Breezy Jr. at quarterback. Breezy Jr. leads the league in passing yards and ranks second in touchdowns and passer rating. If not for Cue's hot start, Breezy would be one of the runaway MVP favorites at this point in the season. Kyle Bessey does the heavy lifting for Tijuana on the ground, rushing for 308 yards at a very impressive 5.5 yards per carry average thus far. Iman Outlaw (4 sacks) and Robert Green (10 PD) help lead the defense for Tijuana, with each putting up strong numbers through four games. The most impressive part of the Luchadores' season so far has been their ability to rally the troops, circle the wagons, and any other metaphor you want to use to describe their comeback ability. After starting the season 0-2 with two close losses, they bounced back in a massive way with back to back wins over London and Portland where they averaged 35 points per game. If that offensive output can even come close to that level over the rest of the season, this team is a title contender. With Breezy Jr at the helm, anything is possible for this Tijuana squad.
#5 - London Royals 2-2
Everybody's favorite European squad checks in at the #5 spot. They're coming off a couple unfortunate losses after starting the season 2-0, but look to rebound with important games coming up this week. You can't talk about London without their incredible two-headed monster at wide receiver with Mega Tron and Orange Julius. This pair has a combined 777 yards and 4 TD on the season and are showing no signs of slowing down. On defense, the Royals have an impressive attacking scheme which leads the league in sacks (18), forced fumbles (11), and fumble recoveries (8). They also have the second most tackles for loss and have made a habit of harassing the opposition on a regular basis. Special teams are also extra special for the Royals as they lead all teams in average yards per kick return and rank second in average yards per punt return. Not to mention that kicker Wayne Rooney has the second longest made field goal this season at 52 yards. All in all, this is a squad who will go as far as their suffocating defense will carry them. If their offense manages to wake up from its slumber, watch out. You don't want to be trailing this squad late in the game - your quarterback will be running for their life against the blitzing onslaught of London. They could be sneaky good later this season.
#6 - Norfolk Seawolves 1-3
Norfolk slides into the 6th ranking spot, but they are just a few plays away from being easily in the top three. Their last two games have been losses by a combined six points and their Week 1 defeat was a valiant 20-10 effort against the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. They could very well pass London if this ranking was updated after the Week 5 games with the Seawolves hosting the Royals tomorrow in a massive game with huge playoff implications. The Seawolves have the 4th best scoring defense which has allowed them to be competitive week in and week out. Maximus Boudreaux leads the way on offense at quarterback and has posted a strong season through four weeks. Boudreaux ranks second in the league in passing yards and has connected over and over again with wide outs Tyler Hunt (422 yards, 3 TD) and Diego López de Castilla (373 yards, 1 TD) to torture defenses. Those passing yards have not translated to many touchdowns, throwing just four on the season, but you have to figure that those numbers will eventually even out over the course of a full season. Norfolk just needs to squeeze a little more production out of their offense and they could make a realistic run at the postseason. The defense is already stifling enough to carry them and all Boudreaux needs to do is find Hunt and Lopez de Castilla for six just a little more often.
#7 - Minnesota Grey Ducks 1-3
Minnesota comes in at #7 as the second of the 1-3 trio of teams in DSFL this season. All three of their losses have been by double digits, but it's not all bad news for everyone's favorite avian franchise. Rookie running back Ivan Ivanov has been impressive thus far, racking up 271 yards and a pair of touchdowns to help power the Grey Ducks' offense. Tua TurnDaBallOva, another rookie, has shown flashes of brilliance at QB but needs more consistency for Minnesota to realistically improve this season. It's a young squad at the skill positions, which bodes well for the future. They will need a break or two to make it t o the playoffs, but you never know how things will turn out in the DSFL. There have been bigger turnarounds before, so I wouldn't put it past the Minnesota team to make the necessary adjustments and give the postseason a sweat down the road. If Tua cuts down on the turnovers and Ivanov has a Rookie of the Year type campaign down the stretch, look out. We could all be drinking chocolate (choccy) milk come season's end. Another player who can help turn the tide for the Grey Ducks is Norman Smiley, a standout linebacker who is near the top of the league leaderboard in sacks and tackles for loss. They'll need some heroic play in the coming weeks, but anything is possible.
#8 - Kansas City Coyotes 1-3
Last but certainly not least is the Kansas City Coyotes, coming in at 1-3 and the 8th place team in my power rankings. Unfortunately for the Coyotes, they have the worst scoring offense and 4th worst scoring defense in the league so far, which does not inspire a ton of confidence for the rest of their season. At running back, Anakin Skywalker leads the way with 335 rushing yards and a nice 4.8 yard per carry average. That 335 rushing yard figure ranks third in the league and he could very well end up being the Chosen One who wins RBoTY come season's end. Jason West is his padawan in the backfield who has accounted for 235 rushing yards of his own as the Coyotes have gone full rushing attack so far this season. Gaius Gleel is their standout on defense and on the shortlist for linebacker of the year with a league-leading 40 tackles, 3 tackles for loss, and an interception. The creatively named Antonio Croyotie is holding down the secondary for Kansas City, hauling in an interception and adding on eight PDs to help stymie quarterbacks and wide receivers alike. Kansas City can surely turn this season around, but it will require Anakin Skywalker attaining the rank of master, which has previously been denied to him. If the Coyotes' struggles continue, there's a rumor that the franchise will send Anakin to the barren wasteland of the American desert, which would be especially difficult due to his hatred of sand. Fingers crossed for Kansas City, though!
Hope y'all enjoyed my power rankings and didn't take them too seriously.
2,036 words