(S44) PT #1 - Football is for Everyone

[okestboomer]

[ProdigalSon]

Sitting through a boring and dull lecture of slideshows, old-school transparencies on an overhead projector, reading an overly thick textbook, or watching a documentary hardly results in information retention. As we all know from our middle school science days, the tried-and-true way of learning anything science is through fun and informative videos with quirky jokes and goofy characters. One thing I think we can all agree on is that a Bill Nye the Science Guy video taught us something that we still remember today. The Bill Nye videos were always engaging, informative, and very memorable. The Science Guy had a way of explaining complex topics to the brain of a child, and I think he would have no problem doing the same for the somewhat simple game of football. E.T.’s.  Football is often described as a science (?), so who better to teach the E.T. than the Science Guy himself!

[KaleSalad]

SHL affiliate

[caleb.grim]

If we are to contact extra terrestrials, it will be important to show them extraordinary physical feats just in case they get any ideas about taking over the Earth. This means that we would use the very best athletes doing crazy stunts that we could just sort of relate to football. I'm thinking like those old "Pick Me" fantasy football videos that the NFL put out 10+ years ago. (Compilation Video Link) This way the aliens can see humans breaking through walls, catching fast flying objects, jumping over people, stopping on a tightrope, catching things blindfolded, jumping through a car, kicking things over buildings, catching three footballs at once, throwing objects accurately over a long distance, and lots of other things. (Check out the linked video to get an idea!)

What's the point of all this? We need those aliens to second guess their ability to conquer Earth. If we can convince them that we are not to be trifled with (I mean look at what humans can do!), we help to ensure our safety!

[ValorX77]

The Video starts off with Ayame's "jumpscare" introduction of "Yo Dayo!", and then Ayame apologizes for the jumpscare as it is October in her home world of Earth. She first explains the history of the game. Then she goes into a breath overview of the game's rich history and mentions the 1958 NFL Championship game between the Baltimore Colts and New York Giants made the game into mainstream media. Then she introduces the aliens to the International Simulation Football League (ISFL), and explains that this the league you need to get in to see how the game is played properly. The Aliens see footage of Ultimus Bowl 41, and Ayame explains the rules and what you shouldn't do in these situations, and then shows an example of each penalty and how to avoid getting called for them. And then brings the Ultimus trophy and explains to the aliens why this is what you to win, because it's the passion and the glory.

(162 words)

[g2019]

SHL Affiliate

[soevil]

I think that one of the best instructional videos that I could supply to a group of extra terrestrials to teach them the game of football would be the game film for the most recent Chicago Butchers vs New Orleans Second Line game. This is more of a "how not to" video, though, because the Butchers could do nothing right. DONT block like the Butchers offensive line (Jefferson had 1.9 ypc and Penguin suffered 3 sacks). DON'T play pass defense like Bill Cravy - CB (Busted coverage on a 75 yard New Orleans touchdown). Don't throw like Penguin who only checks down to his little slot receivers (7.2 yard average). We would point out every aspect of the game, consisting of offense, defense, and special teams. Each aspect would be broken down into sub categories like line fundamentals(offensive and defensive), passing fundamentals (offensive and defensive), and rushing fundamentals (offensive and defensive). There would also be penalties 101 and position charts. 160 words

[TheHammer43]

The league has decided to send me up to space and meet with extraterrestrial life so that I can teach them "How to football" first thing you gotta do is bring all of the good football movies with them. I know they really wanted a video to send them but instead I thought a more hands on approach to this would really help. So we bring the good football movies you know, Remember the titans, Rudy, Blindside and a few others but then we really gotta help them understand the rules. Luckily there's like a hundred youtube videos on this kind of stuff so we're already ontop of things, we don't just want them to understand football we want them to feel football the way that many of us do, I want to see them cry the same way I cry whenever I watch Rudy as an adult man and that's the true meaning of football

[Marty the Monster]

Marty Crane's video would center around the concept that anyone can learn the game of football and anyone can beat the "cheating, no good, should've gotten squished in the championship had Dallas not tripped in the opening round" Pythons. While Crane can teach the fundamentals like no one else due to his high football IQ, he's also still bitter that he didn't get the rubber match for the cup against Portland. To be honest, I think all of Dallas probably is. In the video Marty would show how to tackle a dummy that has to be wearing a snake on it's jersey. And he'd make sure he really hammered home that a hit is not complete until the dummy has been ripped off the rig and slammed into the ground three to five times. While there would be no shortage of this rivalry-based nonsense, he'd also walk the aliens through how to beat a cover 3, how to look off a safety, when to cut before breaking through the hole, and exactly how many times a camera needs to pan to a celebrity couple in the audience before the game can be televised. The video would not only help expand the fanbase to other galaxies, it would likely land him an invitation to the front table at the ISFL player haters ball...which he'd show up to in snake-skin coat.

[AJay887]

I'm not sure how productive it would be to have ISFL HO making this documentary, maybe this job should be handed over to members of the sim team or graphics team to produce a spectacular project. I do think that the project should be more instructional in nature, as a mockumentary might fly over the heads of those who do not understand earthling humor. We will, however, want a few members of Head Office in the actual documentary to not only welcome those extraterrestrials to earth, but to explain specifically what football is about. Having some players show up to offer some tips and tricks to those watching would also be quite helpful. As an instructional video for how to play football, it should be necessary to have that as a part of the documentary. Maybe each team could send one representative to the filming crew, to explain one facet each about the game, and maybe run a few drills to show visual examples.

164 words