02-27-2024, 01:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2024, 09:15 AM by ProdigalSon. Edited 1 time in total.)
ROQUE REVEALS REVOLUTIONARY ROADMAP, ROOKIES RALLY ‘ROUND REPLACEMENT RINGLEADER!
The tumult is palpable in the DSFL. The league has been no stranger to controversies recently, including the issuing of the radical Rookie Manifesto, the Kansas City Coyotes being smote and quickly un-smote by the powers that be, and the frankly unspeakable allegations surrounding Norfolk SeaWolves WR JJ What (@JJ5), which The Doghouse refuses to publish in order to protect the privacy of his many victims.
The troubles continue to pile up as a possible new face of the league is emerging and creating a stir among league rookies. SeaWolves CB and S46 first overall selection Roquefort Cotswald (@roquefort) has amassed a small following in the DSFL, mostly for his off-the-field actions as his play has been only middling so far in his debut season. Regardless, players and GMs appear to have taken a liking to Cotswald and he has quite successfully become a household name in many league channels. While usually the DSFL would celebrate such popularity from one of it’s young stars, this one might turn out to be more of a headache than a hero.
Approval ratings for DSFL Head Office have allegedly taken a small plunge and in response, it would appear that Mr. Cotswald’s name is being thrown around as a possible new league commissioner. Bondi Beach Buccaneers CB Walter Yensid (@WalterYensid) and Portland Pythons TE Tyler Higbee II (@SensibleDictator), both popular league rookies in their own right, were seen displaying signs sporting the phrase “ROQUE 4 COMMISH” at a recent rookie discussion and they did not appear to be alone in their sentiment. Yellowknife Wraiths WR Silence Suzuka (@xenosthelegend) was confusingly present at the rookies-only conversation, but had this to say about the situation: “While I respect the work that Woelkers has done as DSFL commissioner, I believe that it may be time for a change in leadership.” Harsh words. After giving their statement to The Doghouse, Suzuka was accused of inappropriately distributing some type of “pasta” and politely, but firmly, asked to leave.
Cotswald didn’t shy away from the spotlight, either. “My first act as commish is to give everyone free ice cream. My second is to relocate the Luchadores to Gary, Indiana.” The crowd reacted extremely positively to this campaign platform, but Mr. Cotswald wasn’t finished. Once the cheers subsided, he continued, “My third act is to put CROney into a blender. Mmmm GM soup. My [final] act is to make Bamford the new GM of the Gary, Indiana Luchadores.” Once again, Cotswald was forced to pause his speech due to the absolute cacophony of cheering and hollering. He would be unable to finish whatever promises he still had to make to his fellow rookies as the energy in the venue became nearly riotous with glee. His only clarifying remark before leaving for the evening was that the free ice cream would be Chunky Monkey.
Alarmingly accepting of Cotswald’s desire to liquefy him, CROney (@CROney3) instead offered The Doghouse his views on a possible Luchadores relocation. “Why does Roque hate the best football team in Mexico? Is it because we're located in Mexico? Seems sus. But move us anywhere and we'll continue to win. So bring it on, future commish.” Cotswald’s dislike of the league’s only Latin American franchise is so far unexplored, so could the Tijuana front office have a case of discrimination?
The Doghouse was able to get a brief statement from the candidate himself, who seemed confident and composed regarding the sudden rise in status and the potential office. “I am but a humble servant of the people, and I'd be honored to represent my fellow rookies and disparaged DSFL players as commish. I think we all look forward to deposing the despot known as Woelkers, and the people will get the justice they deserve. No longer will the average player be crushed under the boot of oppression, for my small and frail paws couldn't stomp the strong people of our league.” Action-oriented and adorable both, the mouse makes a strong case for himself.
A source from DSFL Head Office, who asked to remain anonymous, was asked about whether or not the Head Office and the Commissioner were having talks about the Roquefort Cotswald and the Roque4Commish movement. They responded, “What? Who? No.” followed by, “There is no election, that’s not how any of this works.”
Keep your eyes on The Doghouse for further developments of this progressing story.
The tumult is palpable in the DSFL. The league has been no stranger to controversies recently, including the issuing of the radical Rookie Manifesto, the Kansas City Coyotes being smote and quickly un-smote by the powers that be, and the frankly unspeakable allegations surrounding Norfolk SeaWolves WR JJ What (@JJ5), which The Doghouse refuses to publish in order to protect the privacy of his many victims.
The troubles continue to pile up as a possible new face of the league is emerging and creating a stir among league rookies. SeaWolves CB and S46 first overall selection Roquefort Cotswald (@roquefort) has amassed a small following in the DSFL, mostly for his off-the-field actions as his play has been only middling so far in his debut season. Regardless, players and GMs appear to have taken a liking to Cotswald and he has quite successfully become a household name in many league channels. While usually the DSFL would celebrate such popularity from one of it’s young stars, this one might turn out to be more of a headache than a hero.
Approval ratings for DSFL Head Office have allegedly taken a small plunge and in response, it would appear that Mr. Cotswald’s name is being thrown around as a possible new league commissioner. Bondi Beach Buccaneers CB Walter Yensid (@WalterYensid) and Portland Pythons TE Tyler Higbee II (@SensibleDictator), both popular league rookies in their own right, were seen displaying signs sporting the phrase “ROQUE 4 COMMISH” at a recent rookie discussion and they did not appear to be alone in their sentiment. Yellowknife Wraiths WR Silence Suzuka (@xenosthelegend) was confusingly present at the rookies-only conversation, but had this to say about the situation: “While I respect the work that Woelkers has done as DSFL commissioner, I believe that it may be time for a change in leadership.” Harsh words. After giving their statement to The Doghouse, Suzuka was accused of inappropriately distributing some type of “pasta” and politely, but firmly, asked to leave.
Cotswald didn’t shy away from the spotlight, either. “My first act as commish is to give everyone free ice cream. My second is to relocate the Luchadores to Gary, Indiana.” The crowd reacted extremely positively to this campaign platform, but Mr. Cotswald wasn’t finished. Once the cheers subsided, he continued, “My third act is to put CROney into a blender. Mmmm GM soup. My [final] act is to make Bamford the new GM of the Gary, Indiana Luchadores.” Once again, Cotswald was forced to pause his speech due to the absolute cacophony of cheering and hollering. He would be unable to finish whatever promises he still had to make to his fellow rookies as the energy in the venue became nearly riotous with glee. His only clarifying remark before leaving for the evening was that the free ice cream would be Chunky Monkey.
Alarmingly accepting of Cotswald’s desire to liquefy him, CROney (@CROney3) instead offered The Doghouse his views on a possible Luchadores relocation. “Why does Roque hate the best football team in Mexico? Is it because we're located in Mexico? Seems sus. But move us anywhere and we'll continue to win. So bring it on, future commish.” Cotswald’s dislike of the league’s only Latin American franchise is so far unexplored, so could the Tijuana front office have a case of discrimination?
The Doghouse was able to get a brief statement from the candidate himself, who seemed confident and composed regarding the sudden rise in status and the potential office. “I am but a humble servant of the people, and I'd be honored to represent my fellow rookies and disparaged DSFL players as commish. I think we all look forward to deposing the despot known as Woelkers, and the people will get the justice they deserve. No longer will the average player be crushed under the boot of oppression, for my small and frail paws couldn't stomp the strong people of our league.” Action-oriented and adorable both, the mouse makes a strong case for himself.
A source from DSFL Head Office, who asked to remain anonymous, was asked about whether or not the Head Office and the Commissioner were having talks about the Roquefort Cotswald and the Roque4Commish movement. They responded, “What? Who? No.” followed by, “There is no election, that’s not how any of this works.”
Keep your eyes on The Doghouse for further developments of this progressing story.