03-28-2024, 08:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-28-2024, 10:14 PM by wetwilleh. Edited 7 times in total.)
ISFL Weekly Mirror
Tenth Edition
Senior Correspondants: @jreed12 / @griis
THE ISFL WEEKLY MIRROR IS NOW A GEMINI-WINNER! RELIVE THE DRAMA, THE ACTION, AND THE GREATEST STORY BEATS OF S46 BY READING BARON’S GEMINI AWARDS
But first, a word from our sponsor…
No matter if you are on the field, home, or exploring the great outdoors, there is no better choice than Aquafina to quench that thirst. Aquafina….pure enjoyment! The official sports drink of South West and the Orange County Otters.
BREAKING: Tampering Topsy Turvy! DSFL Kickoff Week Roundup!
The DSFL kickoff week stream burst onto screens Thursday with all the energy and excitement of a new season of dotsball! Hosted by none other than the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror’s fearless Senior Correspondent, jreed, alongside AJ and the infamous Bamford, the stage was set for a thrilling evening of introducing the new rooks to the big leagues.
Jreed’s Picks! Decider of DSFL Dotsball!
As the games unfolded, the crowd was treated to a spectacle of touchdowns, tackles, and spectacular trick plays. During the pregame show, jreed emerged as the undisputed oracle of GameDay, accurately predicting all FOUR game outcomes along with a bold player prop that had the pizza hungry pocket passer fuming: Russell Jimmies tossing THREE interceptions! For more wisdom from the betting brainchild, tail all of jreed’s brilliant picks at the glorious ISFL Casino and Sportsbook, where winners are made! Meanwhile, Bamford's predictions proved to be as accurate as Jimmies’ passes, leading to some audible frustration in the chat and a couple holes in the drywall
Bamford's Blunder! Tampering Caught Live on Stream!
But just when viewers thought they'd seen it all, the end of the stream took an unexpected turn as Bamford committed a monumental bungling live on air. Bamford brazenly asked TE Tyler Higbee II, recently picked up by the Hahalua at the advent of the S47 season, if he wanted to switch his archetype to a blocking tight end, completely oblivious to the league rules prohibiting such actions for players already claimed by ISFL teams. The chat erupted into chaos, with viewers frantically flagging down Head Office (HO) to report the blatant tampering unfolding underneath their very noses.
In a league first, tampering was exposed in real-time, with Head Office (HO) representative Thor immediately quoting the rulebook:
ISFL GameDay Chat, March 28, 2023
By the end of the stream, Bamford quietly quipped that he may be in the hot seat as Portland GM. Could an innocent silly comment spell doom for the Pythons? The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror will stay diligent in its quest to update readers on all breaking news, as we seek to reflect the truth!
Champions or Cheaters? Diabolical Multi Plot Unearthed!
The S46 Ultimini came as a surprise to many, when the Dallas Bird Dogs defeated the up-and-coming London Royals in a tenuous shootout that left the league in a gripping melodrama. However, new shocking allegations have brimmed to the surface, possibly TARNISHING the Bird Dogs’, along with several GMs, legacies FOREVER!
In a league that is no stranger to controversy, the Bird Dogs’ latest blunder is just a footnote in the series of cacophonous calamities that has struck the ISFL over the most recent season. At the heart of the controversy stands none other than the DIABOLICAL GM Waldo, the mastermind of trickery behind the Bird Dogs' meteoric rise to GILDED glory. Beneath the veneer of success and Ultiminis lies a web of deceit and deception that threatens to unravel the very
FABRIC of the league itself.
Waldo's Web of Deception! Infiltrating the Sim!
According to the damning, yet unsubstantiated, allegations, the Bird Dogs FAILED to submit a playbook to the Sim for the entire S46 season. How do they win any games, you might ask? Here’s the kicker: it wasn't an oversight or a simple mistake. No, reader, it was a calculated move orchestrated by none other than the wicked GM Waldo himself! According to our SHOCKING new leaks, Waldo has been infiltrating the Sim and manipulating it to do his very bidding, effectively rigging the league for years to come!
The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror reached out to Waldo about the shocking new slew of allegations, who quickly responded: “If I controlled the sim would my stats be as shite as they are?” A likely story, Waldo. We believe your stats are shite because it’s merely a COVER UP to throw the good natured citizens of the league who’ve been trying to sniff out your corruption off your SCENT.
Truth About The Shackleferd Hiring! Dominos Falling into Place!
And who, exactly, may have been sniffing out corruption? Why, this brings us back to the SHOCKING ALLEGATIONS that surfaced earlier this week, in which S48 rook Rusty Shackleferd wrote an unsubstantiated report under the Doghouse branding, and the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror was caught in the fray, accused of besmirching its dear colleague Brad Woof and the Doghouse brand.
the Gemini-Winning Mirror apprehensively rejects any involvement in foul play with Shackleferd, and commends other yappublications such as Higbee and Wet Willeh’s “What’s Yappening?!” for pointing out the Gemini-Winning Weekly Mirror’s innocence in this diabolical plot.
“I may not be a fan of the Mirror, but I do believe Jreed has the intent to produce good media and not mess with anybody.” –Tyler Higbee II, What’s Yappening?! Vol. 1
However, the air of mystery quickly settled thick like fog over the ISFL, and the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror knew we had to do some sleuthing in order to figure out the true culprit behind the Shackleferd hiring.
Trouble on the Islands! Shocking Multi Revealed!
You see, Waldo knew it was only a matter of time before a member of the Big 3, whether it be the Doghouse, The Daily Prophet, or the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror, would quickly uncover his diabolical schemes. It just so happened that the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror would be the closest, as jreed12’s player, D’Jasper Probincrux IV, was a member of the Dallas Bird Dogs during his DSFL Rookie stint in S45.
Waldo is known to despise the Gemini-Winning Weekly Mirror, as well as Wisconsin, and was the most vocal advocate against a Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror-sponsored bid for an Ultimus 46 hosted in Wisconsin.
This led him to Icebear, someone else who seeds deep mistrust for the Gemini-Winning Mirror despite his veneer of gratitude. As a common target of Discord hijinks, he felt pressured by the Gemini-Winning Mirror’s probing into the Truth about Tankalulu and knew it was time to strike.
Why, reader, it was WALDO who recruited Shackleferd in the dead of night, but the conspiracy runs even deeper. While the Gemini-Winning Mirror does not have any concrete evidence, it is our highest suspicion that our worst fears have been confirmed—ICEBEAR AND WALDO HAVE TEAMED UP TO DESTROY THE GEMINI-WINNING MIRROR, AND SHACKLEFERD IS REALLY AN ICEBEAR MULTI!
Clues Unravel! The Gemini-Winning Mirror’s Harrowing Hypothesis!
The Gemini-Winning Mirror was on Waldo’s tail for hijacking the Sim, and the Gemini-Winning Mirror was on Icebear’s tail for Tankalulu. The key to all this was hidden in plain sight, reader. Rusty Shackleferd, aka user shackleferd, joined the ISFL on March 22, 2024. They created a player page on the same day at 4:47 p.m., but, reader, if you notice closely, you’ll miss something that many others, including the Gemini-Winning Mirror, missed on a first glance of their player page:
Recruited. By. Icebear. Well, well, well. It seems in his blind hubris, the naïve northerner had to take a cut of the plunder for himself and left behind a trail of crumbs…
It should be noted that the mysterious Shackleferd has only said one singular thing in either main League Discord:
“Yo thx” –Rusty Shackleferd, March 22, 2024, DSFL General Chat
The fanfare to Shackleferd’s joining was astute, as many rooks including up-and-coming yapper Willeh Strong felt excited about having a new member of the Linebacker corps.
At this point, Waldo KNEW too many eyes might be drawn to the attention of Icebear’s multi, ESPECIALLY with an extremely powerful Yapper in Willeh Strong catching wind of Shackleferd’s arrival, so he instantly jumped in and changed the subject.
After this, Shackleferd said nothing more in Discord. They’ve innocuously done rookie tasks, even Week 1 Predictions (which funny enough selected the HAHALUA even though BER absolutely destroyed them), and then eventually went on to release the infamous Doghouse fake exposé on March 24, 2024, 10:08 p.m.
The story is simple enough, as first unveiled by the esteemed Mr. Woof—Shackleferd, signed by Tijuana (or SENT there so Icebear could distance himself a bit from Tijuana’s rival in the Bird Dogs and get a better alibi), “asked” GM CROney which media outlet would be good to turn to for their “first piece of media”. CROney, in typical good-natured fashion, innocuously pointed the Shack toward a good reputable member of the Big 3 in The Doghouse.
From there, it was all too easy for Waldo and Ice to spring the trap—they simply needed to write the media, Icebear steps forward, throws the Gemini-Winning Mirror down as a fall guy, pitting Mr. Woof against our fine publication, and the rest is smooth sailing into the sunset, pocketing a cool $2 million during DOUBLE MEDIA as the Gemini-Winning Mirror becomes EMBROILED in a media WAR with Brad Woof.
HOWEVER. Waldo was correct in his trepidation, because it was ultimately the Arctic accomplice and his foolishness that sent this diabolical plot melting like a glacier. What alerted the Gemini-Winning Mirror’s superb senses of smell to the senile stench of TRICKERY? Why, none other than the read-through of the fine edition of “What’s Yappening?!”, a great publication by Mr. Higbee and Willeh:
Well, well, well. Ice was AWFULLY quick to respond, probably out of fear that we were on the precipice of finding out. However, he knew he messed up, big time. In a clumsy response, he was even quicker to double down and try to cross trails:
You may have tried to land a swing on the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror, but the Gemini-Winning Mirror WILL ALWAYS SETTLE THE SCORE! Thank you to Mr. Higbee and Willeh, who unknowingly helped the Gemini-Winning Mirror put the last puzzle piece in place for this conspiracy we have been tracking for WEEKS on end. The Gemini-Winning Mirror thanks you for your service to quality journalism!
The Gemini-Winning Mirror will continue to stay diligent in its investigations, but reader be warned—not everyone is who they claim to be…everything you think you know…can be turned on its head in an instant.
Preseason Stream Bungled! Rookies Left in the Dark!
The DSFL found itself once again embroiled in controversy, as yet another preseason stream went awry last Tuesday night, leaving starry-eyed rookies and DSFL fans alike scrambling for answers!
The DSFL Preseason stream was slated to kick off at 8pm EST sharp on YouTube, promising the slate of eager S48 rookies their first glimpse in their new teams’ colors. However, what should have been a momentous occasion quickly turned into a debacle as the stream was plagued by technical difficulties.
Now what caused these technical difficulties, you might ask? In an exclusive investigation, the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror uncovered the SHOCKING truth behind the origins of the stream. Thor, the man responsible for generating the electricity for the stream, utilizes dingoes fueled by Hungry Jack’s hamburgers running on giant hamster wheels at his ranch in Australia to churn up the power. However, it appears that Thor may have dropped the ball, as the dingoes were reportedly underfed on Hungry Jack’s and unable to generate enough electricity to power up the stream!
Many rookies were saddened by the bungling, and turned to pinging steadfast GM CROney to attempt to conjure up a stream. For those rooks eagerly anticipating their first taste of DSFL action, the delay was a bitter disappointment, but Thor quickly made up for it with a homemade stream of the action.
As we turn to the regular season of the DSFL, the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror hopes that the dingoes by and large will get enough Hungry Jack’s to rectify the power supply, and the stream can operate business as usual for S47.
Leo Simon Schwartz's Baby Birthday Bash!
Grab your party hats and confetti ISFL! Leo Simon Schwartz, the up-and-coming defensive tackle for the Honolulu Hahalua, managed to pull off the ultimate feat in baby mama diplomacy: hosting not one, not two, but NINE first birthday parties for his beloved offspring, all in one epic bash last Sunday afternoon!
Under the radiant Hawaiian sunshine at Honolulu City Park, the air was filled with laughter, joy, and the sweet delectable scent of gluten-free birthday cake as Leo's nine baby mamas and their adorable little ones gathered for a Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror themed birthday party!
The festivities included pin the tail on the Bamford and Crazytomato flipping burgers on the grill. Icebear provided the tunes via DJ booth, and even Hahalua rookie Roquefort swung by for a bit, but we had to throw out his birthday present of My First Steroid Kit before the kiddos got into it.
The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror also hired Zenzeroni Xystarch II as a birthday clown to entertain the youngsters and keep the festivities lively. Xystarch agreed on the terms of "working for integrity", receiving payment of a couple of handshakes and a slice of gluten-free cake! But true to form, Zenzeroni embraced the role with gusto and a positive attitude, and brought smiling faces to all the children with his trademark whimsical antics!
Tenth Edition
Senior Correspondants: @jreed12 / @griis
THE ISFL WEEKLY MIRROR IS NOW A GEMINI-WINNER! RELIVE THE DRAMA, THE ACTION, AND THE GREATEST STORY BEATS OF S46 BY READING BARON’S GEMINI AWARDS
But first, a word from our sponsor…
No matter if you are on the field, home, or exploring the great outdoors, there is no better choice than Aquafina to quench that thirst. Aquafina….pure enjoyment! The official sports drink of South West and the Orange County Otters.
BREAKING: Tampering Topsy Turvy! DSFL Kickoff Week Roundup!
The DSFL kickoff week stream burst onto screens Thursday with all the energy and excitement of a new season of dotsball! Hosted by none other than the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror’s fearless Senior Correspondent, jreed, alongside AJ and the infamous Bamford, the stage was set for a thrilling evening of introducing the new rooks to the big leagues.
Jreed’s Picks! Decider of DSFL Dotsball!
As the games unfolded, the crowd was treated to a spectacle of touchdowns, tackles, and spectacular trick plays. During the pregame show, jreed emerged as the undisputed oracle of GameDay, accurately predicting all FOUR game outcomes along with a bold player prop that had the pizza hungry pocket passer fuming: Russell Jimmies tossing THREE interceptions! For more wisdom from the betting brainchild, tail all of jreed’s brilliant picks at the glorious ISFL Casino and Sportsbook, where winners are made! Meanwhile, Bamford's predictions proved to be as accurate as Jimmies’ passes, leading to some audible frustration in the chat and a couple holes in the drywall
Bamford's Blunder! Tampering Caught Live on Stream!
But just when viewers thought they'd seen it all, the end of the stream took an unexpected turn as Bamford committed a monumental bungling live on air. Bamford brazenly asked TE Tyler Higbee II, recently picked up by the Hahalua at the advent of the S47 season, if he wanted to switch his archetype to a blocking tight end, completely oblivious to the league rules prohibiting such actions for players already claimed by ISFL teams. The chat erupted into chaos, with viewers frantically flagging down Head Office (HO) to report the blatant tampering unfolding underneath their very noses.
In a league first, tampering was exposed in real-time, with Head Office (HO) representative Thor immediately quoting the rulebook:
ISFL GameDay Chat, March 28, 2023
By the end of the stream, Bamford quietly quipped that he may be in the hot seat as Portland GM. Could an innocent silly comment spell doom for the Pythons? The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror will stay diligent in its quest to update readers on all breaking news, as we seek to reflect the truth!
Champions or Cheaters? Diabolical Multi Plot Unearthed!
The S46 Ultimini came as a surprise to many, when the Dallas Bird Dogs defeated the up-and-coming London Royals in a tenuous shootout that left the league in a gripping melodrama. However, new shocking allegations have brimmed to the surface, possibly TARNISHING the Bird Dogs’, along with several GMs, legacies FOREVER!
In a league that is no stranger to controversy, the Bird Dogs’ latest blunder is just a footnote in the series of cacophonous calamities that has struck the ISFL over the most recent season. At the heart of the controversy stands none other than the DIABOLICAL GM Waldo, the mastermind of trickery behind the Bird Dogs' meteoric rise to GILDED glory. Beneath the veneer of success and Ultiminis lies a web of deceit and deception that threatens to unravel the very
FABRIC of the league itself.
Waldo's Web of Deception! Infiltrating the Sim!
According to the damning, yet unsubstantiated, allegations, the Bird Dogs FAILED to submit a playbook to the Sim for the entire S46 season. How do they win any games, you might ask? Here’s the kicker: it wasn't an oversight or a simple mistake. No, reader, it was a calculated move orchestrated by none other than the wicked GM Waldo himself! According to our SHOCKING new leaks, Waldo has been infiltrating the Sim and manipulating it to do his very bidding, effectively rigging the league for years to come!
The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror reached out to Waldo about the shocking new slew of allegations, who quickly responded: “If I controlled the sim would my stats be as shite as they are?” A likely story, Waldo. We believe your stats are shite because it’s merely a COVER UP to throw the good natured citizens of the league who’ve been trying to sniff out your corruption off your SCENT.
Truth About The Shackleferd Hiring! Dominos Falling into Place!
And who, exactly, may have been sniffing out corruption? Why, this brings us back to the SHOCKING ALLEGATIONS that surfaced earlier this week, in which S48 rook Rusty Shackleferd wrote an unsubstantiated report under the Doghouse branding, and the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror was caught in the fray, accused of besmirching its dear colleague Brad Woof and the Doghouse brand.
the Gemini-Winning Mirror apprehensively rejects any involvement in foul play with Shackleferd, and commends other yappublications such as Higbee and Wet Willeh’s “What’s Yappening?!” for pointing out the Gemini-Winning Weekly Mirror’s innocence in this diabolical plot.
“I may not be a fan of the Mirror, but I do believe Jreed has the intent to produce good media and not mess with anybody.” –Tyler Higbee II, What’s Yappening?! Vol. 1
However, the air of mystery quickly settled thick like fog over the ISFL, and the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror knew we had to do some sleuthing in order to figure out the true culprit behind the Shackleferd hiring.
Trouble on the Islands! Shocking Multi Revealed!
You see, Waldo knew it was only a matter of time before a member of the Big 3, whether it be the Doghouse, The Daily Prophet, or the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror, would quickly uncover his diabolical schemes. It just so happened that the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror would be the closest, as jreed12’s player, D’Jasper Probincrux IV, was a member of the Dallas Bird Dogs during his DSFL Rookie stint in S45.
Waldo is known to despise the Gemini-Winning Weekly Mirror, as well as Wisconsin, and was the most vocal advocate against a Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror-sponsored bid for an Ultimus 46 hosted in Wisconsin.
This led him to Icebear, someone else who seeds deep mistrust for the Gemini-Winning Mirror despite his veneer of gratitude. As a common target of Discord hijinks, he felt pressured by the Gemini-Winning Mirror’s probing into the Truth about Tankalulu and knew it was time to strike.
Why, reader, it was WALDO who recruited Shackleferd in the dead of night, but the conspiracy runs even deeper. While the Gemini-Winning Mirror does not have any concrete evidence, it is our highest suspicion that our worst fears have been confirmed—ICEBEAR AND WALDO HAVE TEAMED UP TO DESTROY THE GEMINI-WINNING MIRROR, AND SHACKLEFERD IS REALLY AN ICEBEAR MULTI!
Clues Unravel! The Gemini-Winning Mirror’s Harrowing Hypothesis!
The Gemini-Winning Mirror was on Waldo’s tail for hijacking the Sim, and the Gemini-Winning Mirror was on Icebear’s tail for Tankalulu. The key to all this was hidden in plain sight, reader. Rusty Shackleferd, aka user shackleferd, joined the ISFL on March 22, 2024. They created a player page on the same day at 4:47 p.m., but, reader, if you notice closely, you’ll miss something that many others, including the Gemini-Winning Mirror, missed on a first glance of their player page:
Recruited. By. Icebear. Well, well, well. It seems in his blind hubris, the naïve northerner had to take a cut of the plunder for himself and left behind a trail of crumbs…
It should be noted that the mysterious Shackleferd has only said one singular thing in either main League Discord:
“Yo thx” –Rusty Shackleferd, March 22, 2024, DSFL General Chat
The fanfare to Shackleferd’s joining was astute, as many rooks including up-and-coming yapper Willeh Strong felt excited about having a new member of the Linebacker corps.
At this point, Waldo KNEW too many eyes might be drawn to the attention of Icebear’s multi, ESPECIALLY with an extremely powerful Yapper in Willeh Strong catching wind of Shackleferd’s arrival, so he instantly jumped in and changed the subject.
After this, Shackleferd said nothing more in Discord. They’ve innocuously done rookie tasks, even Week 1 Predictions (which funny enough selected the HAHALUA even though BER absolutely destroyed them), and then eventually went on to release the infamous Doghouse fake exposé on March 24, 2024, 10:08 p.m.
The story is simple enough, as first unveiled by the esteemed Mr. Woof—Shackleferd, signed by Tijuana (or SENT there so Icebear could distance himself a bit from Tijuana’s rival in the Bird Dogs and get a better alibi), “asked” GM CROney which media outlet would be good to turn to for their “first piece of media”. CROney, in typical good-natured fashion, innocuously pointed the Shack toward a good reputable member of the Big 3 in The Doghouse.
From there, it was all too easy for Waldo and Ice to spring the trap—they simply needed to write the media, Icebear steps forward, throws the Gemini-Winning Mirror down as a fall guy, pitting Mr. Woof against our fine publication, and the rest is smooth sailing into the sunset, pocketing a cool $2 million during DOUBLE MEDIA as the Gemini-Winning Mirror becomes EMBROILED in a media WAR with Brad Woof.
HOWEVER. Waldo was correct in his trepidation, because it was ultimately the Arctic accomplice and his foolishness that sent this diabolical plot melting like a glacier. What alerted the Gemini-Winning Mirror’s superb senses of smell to the senile stench of TRICKERY? Why, none other than the read-through of the fine edition of “What’s Yappening?!”, a great publication by Mr. Higbee and Willeh:
Well, well, well. Ice was AWFULLY quick to respond, probably out of fear that we were on the precipice of finding out. However, he knew he messed up, big time. In a clumsy response, he was even quicker to double down and try to cross trails:
You may have tried to land a swing on the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror, but the Gemini-Winning Mirror WILL ALWAYS SETTLE THE SCORE! Thank you to Mr. Higbee and Willeh, who unknowingly helped the Gemini-Winning Mirror put the last puzzle piece in place for this conspiracy we have been tracking for WEEKS on end. The Gemini-Winning Mirror thanks you for your service to quality journalism!
The Gemini-Winning Mirror will continue to stay diligent in its investigations, but reader be warned—not everyone is who they claim to be…everything you think you know…can be turned on its head in an instant.
Preseason Stream Bungled! Rookies Left in the Dark!
The DSFL found itself once again embroiled in controversy, as yet another preseason stream went awry last Tuesday night, leaving starry-eyed rookies and DSFL fans alike scrambling for answers!
The DSFL Preseason stream was slated to kick off at 8pm EST sharp on YouTube, promising the slate of eager S48 rookies their first glimpse in their new teams’ colors. However, what should have been a momentous occasion quickly turned into a debacle as the stream was plagued by technical difficulties.
Now what caused these technical difficulties, you might ask? In an exclusive investigation, the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror uncovered the SHOCKING truth behind the origins of the stream. Thor, the man responsible for generating the electricity for the stream, utilizes dingoes fueled by Hungry Jack’s hamburgers running on giant hamster wheels at his ranch in Australia to churn up the power. However, it appears that Thor may have dropped the ball, as the dingoes were reportedly underfed on Hungry Jack’s and unable to generate enough electricity to power up the stream!
Many rookies were saddened by the bungling, and turned to pinging steadfast GM CROney to attempt to conjure up a stream. For those rooks eagerly anticipating their first taste of DSFL action, the delay was a bitter disappointment, but Thor quickly made up for it with a homemade stream of the action.
As we turn to the regular season of the DSFL, the Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror hopes that the dingoes by and large will get enough Hungry Jack’s to rectify the power supply, and the stream can operate business as usual for S47.
Leo Simon Schwartz's Baby Birthday Bash!
Grab your party hats and confetti ISFL! Leo Simon Schwartz, the up-and-coming defensive tackle for the Honolulu Hahalua, managed to pull off the ultimate feat in baby mama diplomacy: hosting not one, not two, but NINE first birthday parties for his beloved offspring, all in one epic bash last Sunday afternoon!
Under the radiant Hawaiian sunshine at Honolulu City Park, the air was filled with laughter, joy, and the sweet delectable scent of gluten-free birthday cake as Leo's nine baby mamas and their adorable little ones gathered for a Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror themed birthday party!
The festivities included pin the tail on the Bamford and Crazytomato flipping burgers on the grill. Icebear provided the tunes via DJ booth, and even Hahalua rookie Roquefort swung by for a bit, but we had to throw out his birthday present of My First Steroid Kit before the kiddos got into it.
The Gemini-Winning ISFL Weekly Mirror also hired Zenzeroni Xystarch II as a birthday clown to entertain the youngsters and keep the festivities lively. Xystarch agreed on the terms of "working for integrity", receiving payment of a couple of handshakes and a slice of gluten-free cake! But true to form, Zenzeroni embraced the role with gusto and a positive attitude, and brought smiling faces to all the children with his trademark whimsical antics!
ISFL WEEKLY MIRROR SENIOR CORRESPONDENT