05-05-2024, 05:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-06-2024, 10:11 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 1 time in total.)
Catchup up on previous Chapters:
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Graders: 60/40 Split for @lock180/@homercrates
Chapter 3: CustomsChapter 1 Chapter 2
Graders: 60/40 Split for @lock180/@homercrates
The Book of Zen
ILLUSTRATION BY: Thor Dangerson
Zenzeroni grabs his Spiderman bag and waits in line to get off the plane and meet back up with his family. As he reaches the end of the tunnel and out into the main concourse he turns around to say goodbye to Charles but when he turns around, there is no one behind him. Zenzeroni pauses a moment to see if he is still deboarding the plane but not wanting to be left behind by his parents he shrugs and enters the concourse seeing his dad in the distance.
“Okay, kiddos we are heading into customs make sure to hide all your drugs!” Zenzeroni Sr. “jokingly” says with a halfhearted laugh.
Zenzic and Zenzeroni give their dad a quizzical look as they make their way through the relatively quiet Christchurch International Airport and toward the customs security gate. The Xystarch family waits patiently in the short line for their turn to go through customs and when it is their turn they all make to go together.
“ONE AT A TIME!” The walking security officer yells at them as they all quickly jump back. They look at each other wondering who will make the first move when Zizi gives the family a smile and makes her way to the middle customs station. After a short time, Zenzic follows in his mother's footsteps going to the same customs officer. In the meantime, Zenzeroni Sr. looks around nervously as if trying to find a way to escape this entire situation. Finding none, he grabs Zenzeroni’s backpack off his shoulders and holds onto it as he shuffles around awkwardly. After a minute or so he shoves the bag back onto Zenzeroni’s shoulders as he is called forward to the next customs officer. Zenzeroni, oblivious to what all of this is about, allows his mind to wander back to the epic battles with his action figures and Charles during the flight.
“NEXT!” The security officer next to the line yells pointing to an open customs officer in the corner. Zenzeroni trots over to the incredibly serious and clearly grumpy customs officer whose glasses are down almost off his nose as he looks over them at the smiling Zenzeroni.
“Where are your parents?”
“I think they already went through.”
“Why aren’t they with you?”
“The officer said we have to go one by one.”
“That’s not true. You should be accompanied by an adult.”
“Oh.”
The customs officer takes a big breath and mutters under his breath “One more time. I swear one more time Jim forgets how to do his job and I…” The customs officer takes another deep breath.
“Passport please.”
“Here you go, mister!” Zenzeroni proudly presents his passport to the customs officer who stares at it for much longer than necessary.
“What’s your name son?”
“Zenzeroni Xystarch II.”
“Oh wow as if one wasn’t enough, someone thought it was a good idea to bring another pointless human into this world.”
“What?”
“Date of birth?”
“February 29th, 2036. Did you know that the 29th of February only happens every 4 years?”
“I don’t care.”
“Okay.”
“Did you bring over any illegal substances?”
“Do action figures count?” Zenzeroni asks.
“What do you think?”
“Yes?”
“No.”
“Ok.”
The customs officer takes a closer look at Zenzeroni and his eyes glance toward his backpack which has a mysterious white substance in a bag protruding from the main pocket.
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“That.” The customs officer points behind Zenzeroni at the backpack.
Zenzeroni turns around and sees someone carrying a large backpack behind him, “The bag?”
“Yes.”
“It’s a bag.”
“What’s in the bag.”
“I don’t know you would have to ask him.”
“I am asking him.”
“No, you are asking me.”
“You are him.”
“No, I’m Zenzeroni.”
“What is in your bag.”
“Action figures.”
“It sure doesn’t look like action figures.”
“Just because you didn’t grow up with a Captain Spaulding action figure doesn’t mean it isn’t an action figure.”
“What else do you have in the backpack besides action figures.”
“Nothing.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Then what’s that?” The customs officer once again points behind Zenzeroni at his backpack.
“What’s what?” Zenzeroni says turning around.
Infuriated at the slow process, The customs officer at a turtle’s pace leaves his station, grabs Zenzeroni’s Spiderman bag, and rips it open revealing what the white substance really is.
“Why in the world do you have a gallon of Alfredo sauce in your backpack?”
“I swear officer I don’t know how it got there!” Zenzeroni says in fear.
“Well, I will be confiscating this. Don’t try and sneak Alfredo sauce by me ever again. It will never work. NOTHING gets by me.” The customs officer says as a woman holding an alligator walks right by him.
“But uh I…” Zenzeroni trails off watching the woman disappear from sight.
“No butts allowed. Now get out of here before I decide to arrest you for smuggling illegal sauces.”
“Yes sir.”
With the nightmare of customs finally over Zenzeroni reunites with his family who don’t say a word to him besides his father grabbing the backpack off Zenzeroni again and ripping it open. Seeing the backpack doesn’t have the Alfredo sauce he angrily grabs Captain Spaulding’s head, rips it off, and throws it in the trash. Zenzeroni is about to go after it when Zenzeroni Sr. grabs him “We don’t have time let’s get out of here.”
It was back into a black SUV with tinted windows for the Xystarch family as they headed out of Christchurch International and onto the streets of New Zealand. It seemed like ages before they finally reached their destination which appeared to be another airport.
“Everyone out!” Zenzeroni Sr. announced stretching his legs and pulling down his sunglasses to make him look more like an FBI Agent than a man on a vacation.
Zenzeroni looks around and sees a sign that says “Invercargill Domestic Airport”. Odd that they were taking another plane Zenzeroni thought to himself but he wasn’t overly concerned as he saw the rest of his family preparing to enter the airport.
“So where do you think we are going?” Zenzeroni excitedly asks his brother.”
“WE are going on a vacation. YOU are going to find out the truth about the Xystarch family.” Zenzic’s alarming words echo through Zenzeroni’s head as they enter Invercargill Airport.