*Power Rankings, Some Said They Wanted Hotter

[ErMurazor]

Like the rest of the league I am tired of the sorry ass power rankings @tlk742 is putting out. We're hear for the hot takes and drama not well thought out nonsense. I don't care how many unicodes you have or if your mom was a tri-delta slut (@Stormblessed knows what I'm talking about). Lets get on with the hot takes.

1. Arizona Outlaws Rating: :cigar: :cigar: :cigar:
The Arizona Outlaws trophy has never left Arizona. Er is still the simmer and now the Outlaws have two members of the head office, including Josh Mother Fucking Garden. The team also totally cheated using the RFA tag, so put that one in the win column for the Outlaws. We live in a world where the Nazis won folks. Pack it up.

2. Orange County Otters, Rating: :cigar: :belly:
The Otters are the second best team in the league and it isn't close. If the Outlaws weren't a bunch of Patriots the trophy would be called the Orange County Otters trophy. Move the Otters to the NSFC and maybe the championship isn't a blowout every year. I don't know how half the league is always sleeping on them when they're hanging 50 points on your teams all the time.

3. San Jose Saber Cats, Rating: :cigar: :tophat: :tophat:
The Saber Cats stole a QB from the Wraiths and dropped the dead weight they had their last season. Plus, the took a page from the Outlaws play book and cheated to get the top TPE linebacker in the league. Can you say bamboozled Philly fans? The team is going to air it out with the best receiving corps and a top QB. Plus they've got the best money laundering scheme in the league.

4. Baltimore Hawks, Rating: :cigar: :shrug:
The Hawks are the best team in the crap conference. I mean, how many free agents did these guys even sign? None? BORING. Lets pencil them in for another Ultimus loss I guess?

5. Yellowknife Wraiths, Rating: :shrug: :blink:
I don't know what these guys are doing. Do they suck or not? DON'T CARE. The Wraiths lost one of their best players in Kevin Cushing or was it Josh Garden? Maybe Chris Orosz? Shit. I did hear they hold hands around a camp fire and game plan, which is a great strategy if you like going one and done. And they say I'm the Commie. Yawn.

6. Las Vegas Legion, Rating: :yay: :towel: :cheers:
Look how much fun these guys are having. Yay. Plus I hear their discord numbers are off the charts. I had them pegged at 8, but now they're at nine. They might lose to some of the teams below them on this list. But they'er going to have a damn good time doing it. Plus they got some free agents and stuff so that's good. I almost bumped them to #1 with the departure of RFFO alone but we'll have to wait until S5 for that.

7. Philadelphia Liberty, Rating: :violin: :facepalm: <_<
The Liberty would probably be number one if they got Jaylon Lee. But they didn't. They're putting up rookie numbers in discord and the coolest guy on their team stepped down as GM. The next coolest guy on their team got beat so bad in the Pro bowl rumor has it he's changing positions. Their next coolest guy is Kevin Cushing, so I guess they've got that going for them.

8. The San Antonio Marshals, Rating: :cigar: :lift:
That's right. The Marshals are the best team in the NSFL. Give me the inactives, rookies, and dynamic GM duo over any teams listed below.

9. The Chicago Blues, Rating: :hmm: :shrug: :stoked:
Hey, sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. The Blues could join the league and win more than the worst team on this list off of the luck of Jiggly alone.

10. The Cleveland Browns, Rating: :crybaby: :crybaby: :violin:
Are the Browns a better run franchise than the last team on this list? Probably. They've had the same amount of turnover, but the Browns have been at it for longer so I guess I'll take them here.

11. The Colorado Yeti, Rating: :violin: :scrub: :facepalm:
The Yeti suck. They will probably get lucky and steal a win or 2 but they aren't good and they should feel bad. Rumor has it prospects are preemptively tanking their draft stock so they aren't picked first overall. Hopefully any original Yeti players remember their playoff run from season 1. The league will probably fold before they make it again.

Oh yeah I almost forgot. Cushing is the best LB in the league. I sleep on a bed made of Legion players. The Yellowknife secondary bad and retooled sounds like a buzz word written on the walls of the Yeti locker room. If you're not mad yet, this should do it: Please send all money to my brother, @`BrotherP`

[bovovovo]

Now these are the high quality evidence-based power rankings that I can get behind

[4D Chess]

The greatest mic drop moment in NSFL history

[Apache_Chief]

Not enough Outlaws praise, 2/10

[Saliva^]

3. San Jose Saber Cats, Rating:  :cigar:  :tophat:  :tophat:
dropped the dead weight they had their last season.

he acts like Clee is a dead weight.

irrelevant shit, bye

[jparks98]

10. The Cleveland Browns, Rating:  :crybaby:  :crybaby:  :violin:
Are the Browns a better run franchise than the last team on this list? Probably. They've had the same amount of turnover, but the Browns have been at it for longer so I guess I'll take them here.

11. The Colorado Yeti, Rating:  :violin:  :scrub:  :facepalm:
The Yeti suck. They will probably get lucky and steal a win or 2 but they aren't good and they should feel bad. Rumor has it prospects are preemptively tanking their draft stock so they aren't picked first overall. Hopefully any original Yeti players remember their playoff run from season 1. The league will probably fold before they make it again.

[ErMurazor]

he acts like Clee is a dead weight.

irrelevant shit, bye

OoooOh sensitive. I didn't consider you the dead weight, I actually forgot about you completely. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[timeconsumer]

3. San Jose Saber Cats, Rating:  :cigar:  :tophat:  :tophat:
The Saber Cats stole a QB from the Wraiths and dropped the dead weight they had their last season. Plus, the took a page from the Outlaws play book and cheated to get the top TPE linebacker in the league.

Ahem.

[Zoone16]

I love the smell of a quality shitpost. :lol:

[Saliva^]

OoooOh sensitive. I didn't consider you the dead weight, I actually forgot about you completely.  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

simmer forgets the best steal ever