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+---- Thread: *ISFL Mascot Fighting Tournament (/showthread.php?tid=36046)
*ISFL Mascot Fighting Tournament - Sebster - 11-05-2021
Let's get ready to rumbllllllllllllle! I’m going to be pitting the ISFL mascots against each other in a 1 v 1 battle to the death (or submission, whichever comes first). I’ll be splitting up the mascots into 2 sides of a bracket based on which conference the team plays in, and I’ll be assigning seeds based on how the team did in the season 31 regular season. Here is the opening card:
Copperhead - BYE
Outlaw vs Otter
Hahalua vs Secondline
Silverback vs Sabercat
Yeti - BYE
Sailfish vs Hawk
Butcher vs Liberty Bell
Fire Salamander vs Wraith
The first matchup begins as the outlaw slowly walks out onto the field, cowboy boots jangling as his stirrups bash against them. The otter, confused, walks right up to the outlaw and begins to lovingly cuddle him. The Outlaw proceeded to look up to Crunk, who held out his thumb pointing down. A lone “bang” was heard, followed quickly by the otter’s lifeless body being removed from the arena.
Winner: Outlaw
We move onto the Hahalua vs the Secondline. I have no clue how to objectify either of these as mascots in a fighting tournament, so I am just going to treat the Hahalua as a pokemon, and the Secondline as the city of New Orleans. Hahalua used Hydro Pump, it was super effective! New Orleans fainted.
Winner: Hahalua
Last up in the ASFC would be a beastly matchup between the Silverback and the Sabercat. This is one that might have ended up as the championship match if the seedings had broken down a bit differently, but unfortunately one of these mascots needs to be eliminated in the first round. After a vicious bout through the jungle environment, the Silverback ultimately came away the winner after a swinging downward fist hammer to the Sabercat knocked it out of contention.
Winner: Silverback
Moving on to the NSFC, we begin with the Sailfish against the Hawk. We migrate to our lakeside arena for this event to give the sailfish a place to compete. Unfortunately for the sailfish, the hawk appears to have prepared for this match and is simply circling the lake above the fish waiting for his moment. Dropping down every once in a while to bait the sailfish, the hawk is eventually able to get a mistimed jump from our fishy friend, and simply carries him out of the lake to drown in the grass.
Winner: Hawk
Our second match is a confusing one as we pan over to a large, greasy man holding a gigantic blade standing across from a life size replica of the Liberty Bell. The Butcher opens up by sprinting at the Bell, but makes it 10 steps before he needs to catch his breath. After chuffing down a pack of Cowboy Killers, he starts again at the bell and connects! His blade comes down but misses the bell’s crack at the top. The butcher immobilized himself due to the impending shockwave and was declared the loser.
Winner: Liberty Bell
Finally, we have a unique matchup between the wraith and the fire salamander. Things were looking on the up and up for the wraith due to the fire salamander being unable to touch him, let alone hurt him, but unfortunately a gust of wind picked up the wraith and carried him out of the competition area.
Winner: Fire Salamander
Moving on to the second round, we saw solid performances from our previous winners, but how will they react when the #1 seeds join the title bout? Let’s find out! Here is our new fight ticket:
Copperhead vs Hahalua
Outlaw vs Silverback
Yeti vs Liberty Bell
Hawk vs Fire Salamander
Opening up the second round of action we look out as the Copperhead slithers on to the field, and Hahalua emerges from his pokeball. The copperhead quickly slithers into the tall grass to conceal himself, confusing the Hahalua. Frantically searching, Hahalua can’t find him! And what’s this? It’s the copperhead! Right behind the Hahalua, the copperhead emerges and lands a pivotal strike to its neck. As the venom begins to spread through the Hahalua’s body, we see the convulsions, foaming at the mouth, and finally stillness that has grown common in the arena for Copperhead opponents.
Winner: Copperhead
Next, the Outlaw mosey’s back out on to his opening pad as the Silverback cage is rolled out. Immediately after unlocking the cage, the Silverback notices the glint of the sun off the Outlaw’s gun and begins charging. As the Silverback crashes forward, the Outlaw looks almost… annoyed? Peeved? Whatever it was, he just gives a huffy breath and takes out his 6 shooter. Half a second later, with smoke billowing out of the gun’s barrel, a bullet hole appears in between the Silverback’s eyes and it collapses in a heap.
Winner: Outlaw
Moving to the other side of the bracket, we have the Yeti making his first appearance vs the sturdy Liberty Bell. The Yeti shows much more confusion and intrigue with this opponent than the Butcher did and spends plenty of time sniffing around the bell. After sniffing, the Yeti deems the bell not a threat and curls up to fall asleep next to it. Mid-nap, a nightmare must have startled our abominable friend, who decided to wake up and hurl the Bell as far as he could. Easily clearing the boundaries of play on this field, the Liberty Bell was removed from play and this tournament.
Winner: Yeti
Moving on to the last match of the NSFC Semifinals, we have the elusive Hawk and the slippery Salamander. Unfortunately for our slithery friend, the Hawk was able to make quick work of him. Employing the same tactics as last time, the Hawk simply circled overhead until an opportunity presented itself. This did not take long as the Fire Salamander sat confused in the middle of a field until our feathery competitor swooped in and scooped him off the ground.
Winner: Hawk
We have made it to the conference championships ladies and gentlemen, and you know what that means, longer match summaries! Introducing our second to last fight card:
Outlaw vs Copperhead
Yeti vs Hawk
Our ASFC championship begins exactly as the last one did, with our cowboy walking out and looking annoyed. But wait, confusion sets in. He looks out over the arena trying to spot his opponent but can’t see anything. Crunk busts out his favorite set of binoculars from the stands, and stares in bewilderment as he cannot spot anything either. If it were not for his years of training in the silence of the desert, the Outlaw would never had heard the slight slither noise of the Copperhead behind him. Narrowly avoiding a snake bite to the ankle, the Outlaw rolls to safety and loads up his revolver. BANG! BANG! BANG! Three shots are fired in rapid succession, but none hit their target, and the Outlaw is thrown into confusion again. The Copperhead, stunned by the loud noises, has retreated to safety for now. We see the Outlaw reload his gun, and take out a Marlboro Red. He lights a match on the bottom of his boot, like a badass, then takes one drag from the dart before saying “Sayonara snake boy.” One bang is all that can be heard before the explosion of snake guts and blood encapsulates the audience.
Winner: Outlaw
The NSFC championship will be decided by the Yeti and the Hawk. This was nowhere near as long as a match, as the Hawk quickly realized he would not be able to pick up the Yeti and simply carry it elsewhere. In fact, the only course of action in the whole fight was the Hawk doing his typical circle maneuver, then diving at the opportune time. Unfortunately, when the Hawk went to lift the Yeti, the Yeti did not budge an inch. Ticked off, our Yeti champion grabbed the Hawk and crumpled him into a tiny little bird ball. He took one look at Frick up in the stands and hurled it as hard as his Yeti arms would allow him right at Frick. Bullseye!
Winner: Yeti
Finally, the moment we have all been waiting for, the title match. This one, ladies and gentlemen, is for allllllll the marbles. We have the fearsome Yeti making an appearance against the gun slinging Outlaw.
“Didn’t I already kill you once?” the Outlaw called out before the fight began, referring to the Silverback he defeated earlier. Being confused for a being he saw as lesser, the Yeti was clearly enraged and began a full sprint charge right at our sharp shooter. Shrugging it off like he had many times before, he put a bullet right above the nose on the yeti… and it has no effect. The bullet crumpled up against the Yeti’s thick skin and slid right off of him. Now feeling an overwhelming sense of panic and adrenaline, the Outlaw turned and ran as fast as he could. The Yeti, given how big he is, was not as fast as the Outlaw, and he was able to get away for long enough to come up with a plan. Setting it in action, he climbed up a tree and waited. After waiting, the Yeti eventually got curious, and came looking for the Outlaw. While perched up in his tree, the Outlaw waited for the Yeti to walk past him, then swung down behind him by surprise! With superhuman speed, the Outlaw unloaded all 6 bullets into the back of the Yeti’s neck. See, not many people know this but the Yeti is actually a descendant of the Alligator, and if you’ve ever seen Swamp People, then you know that Alligators have a soft spot on the back of their neck, making it the easiest place to dispatch them. Blowing away the smoke, and catching his breath for the first time, the Outlaw looks up to Crunk with a smile across his face, and Crunk hollers down “Thank you Rich, for once you didn’t let me down."
wc: 1669
RE: ISFL Mascot Fighting Tournament - TeyonSchavari - 11-05-2021
Fantastic read. Love the creativity
RE: ISFL Mascot Fighting Tournament - Attopax - 11-06-2021
"We move onto the Hahalua vs the Secondline. I have no clue how to objectify either of these as mascots in a fighting tournament, so I am just going to treat the Hahalua as a pokemon, and the Secondline as the city of New Orleans. Hahalua used Hydro Pump, it was super effective! New Orleans fainted.
Winner: Hahalua"
Actually LOL'd at this. 10/10. Well done.
RE: ISFL Mascot Fighting Tournament - J0EB - 11-06-2021
Mascot Media is easily my favorite, this is a very fun piece that I enjoyed reading
But I gotta throw back to @TheCC's article. Who had the Liberty Bell's ranked as an Honorary Number 1, due to their indestructability. Read it and see for yourself.
Quote:...whether you like it or not. My word is gospel
^^^ his words not mine :shrug: There's not much else to say besides Ring The Bell!