6. Write 600 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 600 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.
Everyone loves to talk about the best lineman in the International Simulation Football League, players who gets lots of pancakes and don't allow that many sacks, but what about the other end of the spectrum? What about the lineman who don't flatten out their defenders and allow their quarterbacks to lie down on the ground writhing in pain? We'll be looking at the worst in both areas, for both bots AND user created players, but before I get started that I should mention that this is only a fun thought exercise and not meant to make anyone feel bad, choosing to play lineman can be a selfless job, so it's admirable for someone to go down that path, so firstly let's look at the bots.
Least amount of pancakes by a bot OL: Honolulu Hahalua Guard Eighty Two with Fifty Two Pancakes
Almost every bot offensive lineman is a reference to something within the team history, whether that be an impactful player, an inside joke within the locker room, or users that led the team to greatness. Luckily I know both references for these players. Offensive Guard Eighty Two's name is in reference to Honolulu Hahalua legend Shawn Dawkins' user Number 82, who played his whole career at safety for the Hahalua. The reason the bot got so little in the pancake department is probably due to the fact that the bot plays guard, as it's hard for teams to field five user offensive linemen. Despite the fact Eighty Two got So little pancakes, the Honolulu Hahalua still ended up with the best record in the American Simulation Football Conference, but ended up falling short to the Chicago Butchers in the International Simulation Football League Ultimus Championship Game.
Most sacks allowed by a bot OL: Yellowknife Wraith Tackle Jack Colby with 12 Sacks Allowed
Jack Colby's name is in reference to legendary Yellowknife Wraith's quarterback Colby Jack, who led Yellowknife to great success during his International Simulation Football League. The thing about Jack Colby is that even though he allowed the most sacks among bot OL, he was still tied for fourth in pancakes, and second among bots, in all of the International Simulation Football League. The reason Jack Colby is a "boom or bust" lineman (boom or bust being in quotes because twelve sacks allowed isn't all that much) is for a couple reason, firstly bots just tend to give up more sacks than their user counterparts, and two, Jack Colby plays offensive tackle, which racks up the pancakes with no remorse. But maybe twelve sacks was still too many, as the Yellowknife Wraiths finished tied for fifth in the National Simulation Football Conference. Now onto the user offensive lineman.
Least amount of pancakes by a user offensive lineman: Baltimore Hawks Rookie Tackle Clifford Wilson with 11
Now I'm not going to talk about the users for two long, as I don't want it to feel like I'm making fun of people, so I'm only going to speculate why these guys (seemingly), underperformed. Now my theory is that since Clifford Wilson was a rookie, that they had a bot filling in his spot until he had enough TPE for it to make sense for the Baltimore Hawks to plug him in. Even though Wilson finished with 11 pancakes, he didn't give up a single sack, so his rookie year could've always been worse. Similar to the Yellowknife Wraiths, the Baltimore Hawks finished tied for fifth in the National Simulation Football Conference.
Most amount of sacks allowed by a user offensive lineman: Philadelphia Liberty Tackle Chevvy Bronko with 16.
Bronco's high amount of sacks allowed could be due to the balancing of both their run and pass blocking, leading to both being good, not great. Bronko still ended up with 87 pancakes, which is nothing to scoff at. The Philadelphia Liberty ended the season fourth in the National Simulation Football Conference, and the Liberty ended up trading Bronko to the San Jose Sabercats after the International Simulation Football League's draft had concluded.
Everyone loves to talk about the best lineman in the International Simulation Football League, players who gets lots of pancakes and don't allow that many sacks, but what about the other end of the spectrum? What about the lineman who don't flatten out their defenders and allow their quarterbacks to lie down on the ground writhing in pain? We'll be looking at the worst in both areas, for both bots AND user created players, but before I get started that I should mention that this is only a fun thought exercise and not meant to make anyone feel bad, choosing to play lineman can be a selfless job, so it's admirable for someone to go down that path, so firstly let's look at the bots.
Least amount of pancakes by a bot OL: Honolulu Hahalua Guard Eighty Two with Fifty Two Pancakes
Almost every bot offensive lineman is a reference to something within the team history, whether that be an impactful player, an inside joke within the locker room, or users that led the team to greatness. Luckily I know both references for these players. Offensive Guard Eighty Two's name is in reference to Honolulu Hahalua legend Shawn Dawkins' user Number 82, who played his whole career at safety for the Hahalua. The reason the bot got so little in the pancake department is probably due to the fact that the bot plays guard, as it's hard for teams to field five user offensive linemen. Despite the fact Eighty Two got So little pancakes, the Honolulu Hahalua still ended up with the best record in the American Simulation Football Conference, but ended up falling short to the Chicago Butchers in the International Simulation Football League Ultimus Championship Game.
Most sacks allowed by a bot OL: Yellowknife Wraith Tackle Jack Colby with 12 Sacks Allowed
Jack Colby's name is in reference to legendary Yellowknife Wraith's quarterback Colby Jack, who led Yellowknife to great success during his International Simulation Football League. The thing about Jack Colby is that even though he allowed the most sacks among bot OL, he was still tied for fourth in pancakes, and second among bots, in all of the International Simulation Football League. The reason Jack Colby is a "boom or bust" lineman (boom or bust being in quotes because twelve sacks allowed isn't all that much) is for a couple reason, firstly bots just tend to give up more sacks than their user counterparts, and two, Jack Colby plays offensive tackle, which racks up the pancakes with no remorse. But maybe twelve sacks was still too many, as the Yellowknife Wraiths finished tied for fifth in the National Simulation Football Conference. Now onto the user offensive lineman.
Least amount of pancakes by a user offensive lineman: Baltimore Hawks Rookie Tackle Clifford Wilson with 11
Now I'm not going to talk about the users for two long, as I don't want it to feel like I'm making fun of people, so I'm only going to speculate why these guys (seemingly), underperformed. Now my theory is that since Clifford Wilson was a rookie, that they had a bot filling in his spot until he had enough TPE for it to make sense for the Baltimore Hawks to plug him in. Even though Wilson finished with 11 pancakes, he didn't give up a single sack, so his rookie year could've always been worse. Similar to the Yellowknife Wraiths, the Baltimore Hawks finished tied for fifth in the National Simulation Football Conference.
Most amount of sacks allowed by a user offensive lineman: Philadelphia Liberty Tackle Chevvy Bronko with 16.
Bronco's high amount of sacks allowed could be due to the balancing of both their run and pass blocking, leading to both being good, not great. Bronko still ended up with 87 pancakes, which is nothing to scoff at. The Philadelphia Liberty ended the season fourth in the National Simulation Football Conference, and the Liberty ended up trading Bronko to the San Jose Sabercats after the International Simulation Football League's draft had concluded.