10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.
(450 Words) Now in his 5th season of the ISFL, coming off a nice vacation with Saachan, Morpheus decided to take an additional trip to try and relieve stress. After all, the Hawks did not play as well as expected, so Morpheus hoped a little R&R might knock some rust off his stressed body. Because Orpheus had spent time with Morpheus and Saachan at Outer Banks, North Carolina, Morpheus decided to invite Orpheus over to Baltimore to celebrate Orpheus' Defensive Player of the Year award. As close readers might have followed, Morpheus is a big fan of the Baltimore Guinness Brewery, so Morpheus and Orpheus met there for a quality brunch. With irish nachos covered in corned beef, the giants of men enjoyed several pints until their legs wobbled from excessive drink. Lazily surveying their surroundings, they recognized the family friendly environment was inundated with children playing touch football in the large center field. Morpheus and Orpheus reminisced on their childhood and on how much they enjoyed their youthful play as children. As alcohol took over their decision making, they decided to recapture that joy. Stumbling towards children, Morpheus asked if him and his brother could join for a few plays. Exuberant, the children couldn't contain their excitement to play with professional players. And so, the 10 or so children lined up on one side of the field, Morpheus and Orpheus on the other. Billy "the GOAT" McTracy, the fastest runner in 8th grade at Oakland Mills, kicked the ball and ran under it ferociously, anticipating tackling whichever player caught it. As he ran down the field his eyes tracked the ball as it fell closer and closer to the field, until he saw it land in Morpheus' hands, less than a foot away from Billy. There was a brief moment within the instant between Billy seeing Morpheus hit the ball and what happened next. But within that blur of a millisecond, Morpheus slapped Billy "the GOAT" McTracy away as Mr. Miyagi slapped a fly, and Billy's body crumpled to the side of the floor like an aluminium can. The other children rallied at seeing their Captain belittled. "FOR BILLY!" they exclaimed. Morpheus smirked. "FLYING V, BROTHER!" Morpheus slowly jogged down the field and Orpheus ran in front of him, his arms spread like a farming ripper. Children ran into Orpheus' spread arms to no avail. Clotheslined and flung into the air, Orpheus tore through them like a grown man tears through children. In less than 5 seconds, all the children were on the floor crying and Orpheus and Morpheus held one another in happy victory. The love of the game was back for Morpheus, and all was well with the world. 13. Expansion Expansion Expansion! Tell us why you think the league should expand / not expand or include any ideas (in words) for team branding ideas you have or team locations. (325 Words) Expansion is always exciting! In simplest terms, it gets the people going. And few things are more exciting than speculating where new teams should be based. I have plenty of ideas for where teams should go, but what I'd like to present is a robust idea for how to choose the next locations. This concept is titled "ISFL Expansion: YOU Choose!" It would be an extended season long interactive experience in which players, managers, and spectators of the ISFL would have the opportunity to select where the newest expansion team arrives. First, an open invitation should be extended to the entirety of the ISFL during the off season. All users will have the opportunity to name their location AND team name with as long a blurb as they'd like to describe why they think their idea should be selected. After a long off season, a full week should be provided for users to select their top 16. When the season begins, an alternate PT should be allowed, in which users can promote the name and location they think should be selected (any user can advocate for any team at this point). These PTs can be written as field reports on the area, as player reports describing why they want to move there, or any other unique way to bring color to the area. Each Friday night, these reports should be posted as a single forum for users to read and the weekend can be used to vote for up to 3 locations. Come Sunday night, 3-4 of the lowest voted teams will be voted out. The removal process should be such that at the end of the regular season, only 2 teams remain. The original poster for each team will then have one week to collect their favorite posts advocating for their team, put together whatever new content they'd like to advocate for their team, and then just before the Ultimus begins, they will create a post with their final sell to vote for their team. From here, voters should be able to vote for their favorite team between the Ultimus and the Awards Ceremony. Users should be engaged, motivated, and excited to then watch the Awards Ceremony which ends with the announcement of the new Expansion destination.
6. Write 600 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 600 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.
In S34 in the DSFL, American Boot at the tight end position led his team, the Bondi Beach Buccaneers in not only receiving yards and receiving TDs, but all purpose yards and TDs. In the process he won two awards, tight end of the year, and offensive performance of the year, and was the only tight end with double digit touchdowns in the DSFL. That offensive performance of the year was possibly the best receiving game by a tight end ever in the DSFL, and American Boot did it on just 4 catches. On those 4 catches, American Boot had 2 TDs, 206(!!) yards, a long of 73 yards, and a per catch average of 51.5(!!) yards. What makes this even wilder is that American Boot could have had an ever better season as he did not show up at all in the box score except for snaps played until week 4. Through the first 3 weeks, American Boot failed to get a pancake, catch, or even a target. American Boot did all that he did in what was effectively an 11 game season. In 14 games, 11 of which he recorded stats in, American Boot finished with a total of 51 catches, 916 receiving yards, 10 TDs, 9 pancakes, and 0 sacks allowed. The per game average of these over 11 games is: 4.6 catches/game, 83.3 receiving yards/game, 0.9 TDs/game, 0.8 pancakes/game, and 0 sacks allowed/game. If we extrapolate these averages to a full DSFL season we get the following: 64 catches, 1166 receiving yards, 13 TDs, 11 pancakes, and 0 sacks allowed. This would have placed American Boot 4th in receiving yards among all players in the DSFL, and 1st among all tight ends. Already leading all tight ends in touchdowns, but tied for 3rd with 3 other players, American Boot now jumps to leading everyone in receiving touchdowns. Not much changes in pancakes or sacks allowed, but in terms of receiving stats, American Boot is now second among all rookies for receiving yards, and still has less catches than everyone ahead of him. With the numbers he compiled from just 11 weeks of actually getting stats, American Boot was nominated for the DSFL offensive rookie of the year award. The winner was RB Rab Thecrab with 1139 rushing yards, 14 TDs, and 173 receiving yards. The other nominees were two wide receivers and a quarterback. One wide receiver was Swantavius Torch who had 1123 receiving yards, and 10 receiving touchdowns. The other wide receiver was Ollie O'Donnell, who had 1391 receiving yards, but only 4 receiving touchdowns. The quarterback was Owen Farrell, who had 2975 passing yards (last in the league), but had the highest passer rating in the league with 94.4, he threw for 26 TDs, and 10 interceptions. On this list as is, American Boot probably beats out just one of the receivers. With his averages being extrapolated over a 14 game season, American Boot leads both receivers in TDs, and while behind in yards by over 200, has 9 more TDs than Ollie O'Donnell. Rab Thecrab has more total yards than Boot, and another TD, so the award still probably goes to Rab Thecrab, but American Boot would be the best pass catching rookie out of all positions at tight end. American Boot over an 11 game season had the best single game out of any offensive player in the DSFL, was the best tight end in the league, had more touchdowns than any other tight end, and did not allow a single sack, and if those stats were extrapolated over a 14 game season, American Boot has possibly the greatest season by a tight end in the DSFL ever.
Long Task 1:
Look, it’s been literal years since I made the Butchers. For the new guys and those who haven’t been around as long, I created the Butchers way back in 2019. In that time, I’ve moved states, I’ve gotten engaged, and went back to school. The Butchers were my farewell from league management, I had just stopped being DSFL commissioner, simmer, ISFL and DSFL HO, and PPT head. I dwindled everything down and decided after the Butchers were done, I was taking a step back, which is still max earning but not spending so many hours of the day on the league that I love. Why do I say this you may ask? Well, the Butchers path to the ultimus wasn’t just this season, it wasn’t last season, it was every season since our inception. There is plenty of media on this team stating all the bad, Butchers at one point almost didn’t exist anymore, and well it was tough for everyone involved with the team. This Ultimus win is more than just the culmination of one season and one struggle, the past players on the team and those who helped us through the bad times had just as much of an impact on the current team as any one player did. As for our actual path to the playoffs, we had a very good season, 12-3-1 was best in the league last season and we had built upon our previous season where we went 10-6. When it comes to the performance of the team itself, we had the best offense by points scored with 502 points, a 31.4 point per game total. We were the only team to score over 500 last season which is an incredible number to eclipse, an amalgamation of a lot of offensive talent coming into their primes together, Kaz Oles JR was a topflight gunslinger, the 3 headed WR beast of Rejoignez Lordresompbre, Vincent Sharpei JR, and Mike Hunt combined for 282 receptions, 3,651 yards, and 28 touchdowns. By all accounts the passing offense on this team was one of, if not the best passing offenses in the league. Now look at the defense, imagine you go up against an offense that scores 31 points a game, and then you look at the defense giving up only 22.3 points per game. Defense gave up the least amount of points with 357 points total, meaning on average the Butchers scored 9 points more than their opponent. Of course, you can’t average it out and say that the team would only win and would win by that many every time, but to have to face a team where they consistently score 30 and expect a shootout, while coming up to a defense that barely lets you get 3 tds (and some caused by the QB himself), it’s just not a fun time. This is one of the most well-built teams I have ever been a part of, and to be the QB even at its most frustrating points was extremely fun. Of course, I was still surprised by what happened and what the outcome was. Remember my earlier talk about years of struggle? Well part of that was good teams, possibly best team in the league for the season and then losing instantly, not even making the Ultimus. I was hopeful, but worried at the same time, this team had a great chance to beat out the opponents and bring it all home, but we also felt cursed and like we were never going to overcome our past. Imagine the Fire Salamanders game, we’re down 20-6 in the 4th quarter, it feels like another depressing end to what should be an incredible season. My player has been hot and cold, sometimes being clutch and sometimes throwing a pick at the most inopportune time, hell we would be in voice chat talking as the game was going and I was mad that we were throwing the ball. A sack or an interception was never far away and it felt so devastating every time. Imagine my surprise when we come back, we only needed one win to make it to the Ultimus, a first for the team, and we did it in quite possibly the most Chicago way possible. The sim has not been kind to us and we seemed destined to go out with a whimper. We only had 1 more game to win, and of course that’s against the best team in the other division, the Hahalua, another tall task of a team that could have easily been the best team this season with one bounce going differently. This time, we go up 17-10 in the first half, a surprise because nothing ever seems like it’s going to be easy or go our way. Of course, things turn around quickly, Hahalua get a touchdown to tie it up, and like I’ve said previously, it seems like I take sacks at the worst time. Safety, down 19-17, this feels like the turning point and as if we’re going to start floundering. Well, Eleven Kendrick-Watts had a 68 yard TD earlier in the game, and Rejoignez Lordresombre decided to match it with a 64 yard TD, 24-19, followed by a field goal for us to go up 27-19. Now, you know that safety earlier? Yeah would’ve been great to avoid because it’s still a one possession game for them, and wouldn’t you know it, Zaylren marches them down the field and scores the touchdown and 2 point conversion, sending us to overtime. Good job Kaz don’t take a sack for once. Now, we’re in a pretty good shootout where the offenses are battling, so how would this game end you ask? Oles sack, 11 yard loss, 10 yard pass, Oles sack 5 yard loss, punt. Zaylren, 7 yard pass, 1 yard pass, drop by EKW, punt. Offense disappears after both had a shot to win the game. After this, Oles figures it out and completes pass after pass while we’re all yelling at him to hand the ball off, dink and dunk offense where we complete reliable 5-10 yard passes. Hayes on the goal line runs it in and excitement spreads through Chicago, the curse is gone and we’ve finally worked through everything that went wrong. The relief of winning the Ultimus, the surprise that it actually happened, I know this is fake football and just a hobby, but it felt very real and with all the time and effort, the relationships with people in the league, it felt good. I’ve been a part of 3 Ultimus titles where the team won it for the first time, with the Liberty, SaberCats, and now the Butchers, and everytime it feels just as good.
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11. Calvin Spiff was born in Birmingham, Alabama to Catalina and Victor Spiff. The youngest of 7 boys, Calvin grew up fending for himself in every avenue of life. Throughout his childhood, Calvin played pick-up football games while his older brothers were playing in their respective sports for their school team. For his entire childhood, Calvin only dreamed of one thing: playing professional football. From pee-wee all the way through high school, Calvin worked on his craft. While not the fastest guy on the field, he was always the quickest. His knack for sudden movements and understanding how to manipulate defenders made his middle school and high school stat line jump off the page as if it were a line from a video game. But Spiff knew that he had to remain humble and continue working on his routes if he was going to make any sort of name for himself in the professional league. He was unable to play in any of the prestigious high schools that are famous for training up professional athletes due to his parents' financial situations (raising 7 boys is an expensive endeavor), but that didn't stop Calvin for catching the attention of college scouts at his public high school. As a true freshman walk-on at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, Calvin played in every game, eventually making his way to the starting lineup halfway though the year. Since then, the entire UAB offense revolved completely around him. If Cal wasn't involved in the play in some way, it likely wouldn't gain yardage. Spiff was awarded the Conference-USA Player of the Year for 3 consecutive years until he left college to pursue his dream of becoming a professional footballer. Calvin was played for 1 season in the DSFL for the Minnesota Grey Ducks before being drafted in the 3rd round to the Yellowknife Wraiths.
16. Although I only have one season under my belt in the DSFL, I think any ISFL with receiver shortages would be wise to spend a later pick on obtaining my rights. Because Calvin Spiff is rendered after Julian Edelman, he'll likely have the same career arc: one team for his entire career. Spiff is satisfied to spend a couple of seasons building up his TPE in the DSFL, so this would be an investment more than an immediate plug and play for an ISFL franchise. But there are few players that will take less money on longer-term contracts like Calvin Spiff is able and willing to do. Spiff might not be the #1 WR in fantasy, but he will be a reliable receiver for any franchise for so long as he has the strength and ability to move and play football. I can guarantee that any franchise will be pleasantly surprised for giving Calvin a chance on their roster. 25. If there was no way for Calvin Spiff to have chosen the wide receiver position when creating his player profile for the ISFL, then he would more than likely have been on the defensive side of the ball--cornerback. There is no other position that makes as big of a difference on the defensive side of the field as corners. They can either be bullied into giving up hundreds of yards in one game or completely lock down an offense's best playmaker. Personally, I've always had a better natural understanding of defensive schemes than offensive schemes. That goes for any sport that I played during middle school or high school. So, it only makes sense that Calvin Spiff would have the same sort of defensive mentality. If I were to have to change positions, even, in the middle of my current career, it would more than likely be to switch from wide receiver to cornerback. The size, speed, and agility needs for the slot receiver and cornerback are pretty similar, which makes the change a no-brainer if my team needs a quality corner.
05-01-2022, 09:56 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2022, 10:34 PM by Exilate. Edited 3 times in total.)
PBE PT +2.5
Task 15 +2.5 My pick for Ultimus Game Most Valuable Player of ISFL Season 34 might be a little controversial because the player's team lost, however I feel like he was the best player in the game and did everything he could to get his team to win. I feel the MVP of the game was Dexter Zaylren of the Honolulu Hahalua, who lost the game 33-27 in overtime. Dexter Zaylren threw the ball 47 times, completing 36 of the passes for 399 yards, an average of 8.5 yards per completion. He also passed for 3 touchdowns, all for a QB rating of 122.6. I feel like no other player in the game contributed as much to his team than Dexter. So I would award him with the MVP award and a trip to Disneyland. He would arrive in Los Angeles and stay at the hotel right inside Disneyland. His stay would be for a week so he could ride everything he wanted. He would go on Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise, Star Wars Rise of the Resistance, you name it. It would all help him forget about losing the Ultimus while he did everything he could to win. Code: 195 words Task 12 +5 For this topic, I'm going to talk about the International Simulation Football League team that won it all in Season 34, the Chicago Butchers. Coming off of a 10-6 record in Season 33 and a 5-11 record the previous season in Season 32, they had to prove that a winning record wasn't a fluke, and they were here to stay and contend. And prove themselves they absolutely did. They finished Season 34 with 12 wins, 3 losses, and a tie, the best record in the league. They scored 502 points, the most in the league ahead of the second place Austin Copperheads who scored 494, and allowed 357 points, the least in the league ahead of the second lowest Arizona Outlaws with 363. There is no doubt they were the best team in the league, and they proved it in the playoffs. They won their first round matchup against the Philadelphia Liberty 24-17, with quarterback Kazimir Oles Jr throwing 25/34 for 262 yards and 3 touchdowns. They won their second round matchup against the Berlin Fire Salamanders 23-20, where they were down 20-6 in the 4th quarter and stormed back to win, with a last second 23 yard field goal sealing their trip to the championship. In the Ultimus game, they battled with the Honolulu Hahalua, going back and forth the entire game. Finally, they would prevail in overtime, winning their first ever Ultimus game appearance in the team's history. Let us look at what lead them to these results. Quarterback Kazimir Oles Jr had an excellent season, throwing for 4891 yards (second most in the league) in 417 completions out of 644 attempts for a percentage of 64.8. He threw 35 touchdowns, second most, and only 15 interceptions. This gave him a quarterback rating of 96.1. They were also lead by star running back Madison Hayes, known for their receiving talent. They ran for 856 yards and 9 touchdowns, with 506 receiving yards and 3 touchdowns, for a total of 1362 yards and 12 touchdowns. Code: 337 words
Tier 1
#1 When you talk about Chicago's run to the Ultimus, it all starts and stops with their defense. From front to back, there is not a more balanced, elite, and overall incredible unit of defense in the entire league than what the Butchers put on the field. They finished the season ranked first in points allowed, first in yards allowed, first in rushing yards allowed, and second in passing yards allowed in the entire league. As the saying goes "Defense Wins Championships" and that's a saying the Butchers truly took to heart. They rode their defense to a 12-3-1 regular season record and clinched the top spot in the conference and were impressive week in and week out. When the postseason hit, things naturally got a little closer, but they relied on crucial stops time and time again to win and take home this year's Ultimus. After knocking off Berlin 23-20, they outlasted the Hahalua in overtime to take the crow, by a score of 33-27. And while their defense was certainly their forte, they were also buoyed by one of the league's best passing attacks. Their signal-caller, Kazimir Oles Jr., finished the year with the third-highest passer rating thanks to 35 touchdowns and 15 interceptions. Oles Jr. was a big play machine, especially in the playoffs, and was nearly impossible for opposing defensive coordinators to scheme against. Oles Jr's two main targets were perhaps the best duo at wideout all season: Rejoignez LordreSombre and Vincent Sharpei Jr.. They finished the year with 1,415 yards, 7 TD and 1,333 yards, 10 TD, respectively, and had defensive backs on skates all through the regular season and the playoffs. But lets not forget Madison Hayes, who was one of the major reasons why Chicago won the Ultimus. In the title, Hayes finished with 138 yards from scrimmage and two crucial touchdowns, including the game-winner in overtime. Simply put, the Butchers had very few weaknesses and had one of the most star-studded offenses in recent memory. After the regular season they had, it's no surprise that they were able to come away with the league's top honor this year. In the DSFL, it was a completely different story. While Chicago ran through the regular season like a hot knife through butter, Dallas barely eeked into the postseason after a 6-8 regular season record. They were fortunate enough to finish second in the conference, but they absolutely turned on the jets when the postseason rolled around. In the opening round, they took TIjuana to overtime and took home the win thanks to a 42 yard bomb from Christian Marciano to Derrick Armstrong. As if that wasn't a surprise enough, they absolutely took Minnesota to the woodshed in the Ultimini, winning 33-7. Christian Marciano threw an incredible four touchdown passes on only 15 completions as this game was over in the third quarter. It's fitting that Dallas relied on their high-powered offense to get the job done in the playoffs. They finished the regular season with the most points scored and most yards gained in the entire league and leaned on their offense week in and week out. Marciano finished with tied-for-first in touchdowns and threw for an impressive 3,978 yards, which he clearly kept rolling into the postseason. Like Oles Jr, Marciano had a pair of standout wide receivers who he relied on time and time again. Derrick Armstrong and Leek Mai-Heinous finished with a combined 2,086 yards and 14 TD thanks to exceptional route-running and breakaway speed. And despite this high-octane offense, Dallas defense let them down at times during the regular season, but after some major adjustments from the coaching staff, got their issues sorted out before the playoffs. That's why they were able to only allow a touchdown in the Ultimini, which capped off one of the most improbable playoff runs in recent memory. If there's one thing this year's Dallas squad taught us is that it's not how you start, it's how you finish. With a core group of elite skill players, the sky is the limit when the playoffs start. (680 words)
7. 5 TPE
I am first time sim league user who was recruited to this amazing group of individuals by a timely post on r/ravens by Painted. Let me preface the next idea by stating, I’m a avid gamer who enjoys the strategizing and learning sometimes more than actual playing the game. For worse or better, I tend to read a lot more guides when I’m starting something new and hope to learn the meta or some tips (this is just the competitive nature inside of me I’m sorry). When I first joined the forums, I tried to read the guide but there seems to be a lot of information that hasn’t been updated and the guides are fairly outdated in terms of visual-ness with the update of the forums. This suggestion might be useless, as not everyone is as intense as I am, but maybe an overhaul of the guides might make the entry point easier. Furthermore, the intro manual could use a little overhaul. Nonetheless, any problems with the intro manual gets made up by the amazing rookie mentors in the DSFL discord. The rookie mentors are a great group of individuals who make anyone and everyone feel like they are at home. They will answer any questions you have and give any advice that you want. However, FirstFray the GM from KCC has made my time here the best with all the help he has provided, especially when it came to the 4 round mock DSFL draft I made. Getting drafted in the first round, as the first LB to be taken from a very deep position with bunch of users was an amazing feeling. I actually had a huge grin and smile on my face that my girlfriend was very suspicious before I explained to which she thought I was a goof! Word Count: 303 words 16. 2.5 TPE While the draft is over and I was able to return back to the Bondi Beach Bucs, I was asked this question multiple times. I bring a new and exciting presence to the locker room. I am an active discord user and while my activity will decrease in the coming future due to in life responsibilities, I still dedicate an hour of leisure time which I usually spend on discord and catch up with everything I missed. I will also try to make it to every game we play and bring a positive and fun attitude which will be contagious. A team should take a chance on me because I will continue to be a max earner (which honestly doesn't take that long maybe only 10-15 minutes a week), and I will continue to make my character the best player it can be. I have asked multiple users on stats to improve to give me the best chance to make an impact in the game. Word Count: 165 words 25. 2.5 TPE I chose the linebacker position as that is the position I played when I started learning about football. If I had to switch positions, I would choose to be a defensive end or safety. I got into football right before rules were changing and defenses were nasty (esp the raven's defense), and the idea that defense wins championships still held true. I like the aspect of pass-rushing, tackling, and delivering big hits to the running back and the quarterback. While that is the job description for DE, in the correct defensive scheme, the safety does a lot of hybrid LB position and rushing the quarterback. I also like the aspect of falling back and dropping into coverage. Similarly, in the correct defensive scheme the DE can also drop back and cover the RB. Lastly, just like the linebacker, a safety is the heart of the defense and can hold the MIKE and make changes to the defense. Word count: 157 words
Task 7
So far in the league, I've had a pretty fun time! Joining was a total step out of my comfort zone, but I'm slowly becoming more glad that I took the leap, especially now that I'm on a team. When I was first told about the league, it was pitched to me as "DnD but for football" and I was IN. I'm not someone who knows a lot about sports- especially not football- in my real life, but I saw elements of the league that made me feel like I could flex some creative skills, and maybe some social ones too. My background is in theatre/ and the arts, so the writing aspect and the ability to build and flesh out a character has been cool. What started as a super (and admittedly really cheesy) offhand joke about a Goth Offensive Lineman (Gothfensive Lineman) ended up turning into Orlando Doom. Sure, he's got a long way to go, but I think he's done pretty alright for a football-playing vampire. Between creating, being drafted, and now being a part of a team (Go Seawolves!) I've had the opportunity to interact with quite a lot of people. It's been a ton of fun! Even if I'm not super active on discord or talking to people 24/7, it's nice to be in the environment. Something I'd like to end on regarding my experience so far is that a lot of the scary parts of trying a new thing aren't really issues here! Everyone I've met so far has been really nice, instructions are super clear, and even if I were to be confused or need help, I definitely feel like I can reach out. It's been awesome to meet all types of people and find a new little corner of the internet to hang out in. Task 10 When he's not asleep upside down, sharpening his fangs, or participating in Smiths vs The Cure discourse online, you can find Orlando Doom on the Norfolk Seawolves as a GOTHfensive Lineman. How did he get here, you ask? Well, it all started about one hundred years ago when Orlando first enrolled as a freshman at Transylvania University for the first time. Being immortal, he wanted to get the most out of his college experience and stay as long as he could. As a result, he has roughly forty bachelors degrees and a couple of masters degrees as well. In his 90th year at TU, he was approached by the football coach who asked if he'd have any interest in volunteering at try-outs for the upcoming season. Ever the gentleman, Orlando obliged and through a strange twist of fate, ended up making it on to the field and even made the team! (That, however is a story for another time kids.) He ended up giving the team 10 seasons of championship winning plays and was eventually finally forced to leave the team when he graduated. If it were up to Orlando, he'd honestly probably still be at TU, but alas, he finished every major, minor, and every book in the library. After college he did a brief stint with the Kansas City Coyotes as he joined their team after the trade deadline. He had a GREAT time there- turns out Vampires really love the midwest. Orlando considers himself a "veggie vampire" so his palate is much more geared toward human food than blood. You can't tear this guy away from the kitchen when there's KC barbecue involved! However, in the upcoming season he'll make his start with the Norfolk Seawolves. He's really looking forward to being a part of the team!
What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why?
I mean it's kind of wild of me to say this, but I think Baltimore easily has the best branding in the league. I thought that back then, and I still do now. There's something about that god damn bird that I just can't get enough of as a sports logo. And they somehow made an already good logo BETTER, which is something I still can't believe. As for the branding that could probably use a refresh, as cool as I think the logo is, the Butchers could probably do with a bit of a touch-up on the logo. Currently, it just doesn't feel like an actual sports logo. It's cool, but something I can imagine on a helmet? Not entirely I admit. I don't know what exactly they'd do to change it, but I think it's a unique enough of a branding that they can definitely do more with it to make it feel a bit more fitting among the other brandings. (163 words) Football is a game that has been going on for a while, loved by fans all over. But what if you were able to make some rule changes? Talk us through your new version of football, and what would be different and why? I want crazier ways to score points. Football currently is very standard in the way it's played and how scoring works. That's why I enjoy a lot of these alternative leagues like the USFL and XFL since they provide unique ways to score additional points compared to the NFL, but there's still so many things they could do. For example, they could take a page or two from that backyard football mode in Madden, where you score more points for doing crazy things like triple passes and flea flickers. Encouraging more creative play calling like that would make the sport absolutely wild, and we'd see teams doing some of the wildest things possible for wins. Just writing about it makes me excited for the reality where this is going down! Oh and make playoffs a shootout always. I don't want no team just kicking a field goal and winning. I want teams to trade scores until someone can't score anymore. (160 words) Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? I originally picked QB when I made this player, but working under the assumption that I wanted to be QB or LB, I'd say easily I'd want to be a RB. If you want stats galore in a rather chill position that can play in like, three different spots in any given formation, RB is easily the best. There's just so much upside to the position that it's kinda hard to not want to play it, which is probably why so many people create at the position to begin with. Though, I suppose that is the one downside, is that since so many people are making in that position you're most likely going to be splitting reps a lot more often than not. It seems like that isn't too big of a detriment for most, but it can definitely hold you back in awards for sure. Me personally though, I'd just be happy to have good stats since much of my career here has been lacking that. (167 words) Awards have been a subject of controversy for a while in the league. Tell us your ideas on how awards process can be fixed. I think when it comes to the award system, it's really not going to get better unless an actual committee is made for it. Currently what happens, is the people who pick who makes the ballot are people who are either really excited to do it or people who are only doing it for the money. The problem here though, is that since you have this assortment, you're going to have people who aren't doing what's fully required of the position. If you employ people who are actually fully focused on the awards (And maybe even in a more long term fashion), it would go a long way to helping with the quality control of things. It would also probably benefit things a lot if there was someone whose specific job was just to check to any errors or IA players as at least a fallback if the committee fails to do so. And lastly, for voting, HO and GMs shouldn't have a say in award voting. There needs to be an actual committee for the actual voting, so you've got people who want to do it and not some poor GMs who are trying to get it out of the way. (202 words) |
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