*Kristoffer O'Sullivan Press Conference

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Bonjour, my name is Francois Bordeaux, I'm with Journaux Francais




How do you feel about some of the exhausting conditions with regards to travel, especially as a team in the eastern part of the United States that are imposed upon you?

What would you say has been the hardest part of your transition to being a professional athlete?

And ah yes, I am very curious about your feelings regarding the performance enhancing drug TPE that seems to have been prevalent around the league. Do you feel that its usage among other teams in previous seasons has now put you at a disadvantage? And what about the fact that the league almost seems to turn a blind eye to it except in the case of defensive tackles that perhaps they just used to make an example out of to cover their tracks? And what of the fact that rumors of tampering are widespread? I mean is there no limit to what the league will do as long as there is money to be made? Is there no regard for player safety or dare I say human decency? While you other journalists sit here asking about jersey numbers and um how you say.....undergarments? Have you no shame? Have you no pride as a reporter? Well, ahem I digress...perhaps you could just tell me about your experience with the team so far?

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Umm, uh yes....uh Jamie uhh Curtis, yes my name is Jamie Curtis with Channel 44's Clown Car Sports Program




Why did you start playing football?

Yes, I understand some athletes are embracing the uh the uh putrid sports performance wear of Trump Sports. I think we can both agree that it's uh, well like it's founder it is....terrible. Not really a question, just more of a statement. But I think you'd agree?

Our former President, Barack Obama, seems like a swell guy, but I think we also know that...he's a great athlete uh too. Uh, how do you think he would fare in the NSFL?

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Hello, yes sorry I got here late, my name is Dr. Tobias Funke, not with any media outlets I am actually working with the league as a professional analyst and therapist, an analrapist if you will.




Like I mentioned, I got here a little late. Why exactly are you here today?


Mhmmmm, yes and how does that make you feel?

Ah, ok I see I see. How do you feel about the league's handling of head trauma, player safety and medical conditions such as concussions and CTE?

Sir, I believe that due to your responses here you may be suffering from some sort of brain damage. How many fingers am I holding up right now?

It's worse than I thought! Someone get this man to a doctor, he's probably contagious! Wait, I'm a doctor! Yes I can do it, I CAN SAVE YOU.

(As "Dr." Funke arises from his seat, he is quickly grabbed by two men in black suits and escorted from the room)

[Oles]

Tyler Oles, fellow disappointing rookie CB that plays opposite of you. Who do you think gets an interception first, me or you?

[Kristy95]

Thank you guys for the questions, answered them all

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Hello, Gustavo Almodovar, I'm sure you've seen me on the Channel 9 Eyewitness News



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Were there any other teams in the league that you had hoped you would be drafted by?


What are some things that you do before a game to help you get psyched up?


Who is your biggest inspiration?


Philadelphia fans are still hungry for a football championship, do you believe the Ultimus trophy will be in the Liberty's trophy case within the next few seasons?

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Hola, Juan Patron with ESPN Deportes. Hey, did you guys see that clown in here earlier, no no it was an actual clown haha crazy stuff right?




Who did you vote for in this last election?

If you weren't playing in the NSFL what would you be doing?

Do you believe that there was Russian interference in the latest election?

If you weren't a member of the Liberty, what other team would you most want to play for?

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Yes, Edward Nigma, Gotham Chronicle. I've got a lot of questions *chuckles*





What is the sound of one hand clapping?

What has a foot but no legs?

Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?

What comes down but never goes up?

I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?

What travels around the world but stays in one spot?

If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?

What has hands but can not clap?

What can you catch but not throw?

What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?

What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?

If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?

What has one eye but cannot see?

Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?

What goes up a chimney down but can’t come down a chimney up?

We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?

They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?

What goes up but never comes down?

What's your favorite moment from a game so far this season?

[HalfEatenOnionBagel]

Ahh yes hello, Jason Gastrow from the Philadelphia Diddler




What do you think about your player rating in the new NSFL 2018 video game?

Would you say that in the latest game against the Hawks, was it a close game despite the loss or was it not even close, baby?

How do you feel about Knack?

How many wins do you think is an attainable number for the team this season?

[124715]

Who's the funniest in the locker room?

Who's the most annoying in the locker room?

Which DSFL team would you play for in the off-chance you are sent down?