Souja, after seeing the extra money in his bank account, would immediately call the front office of the Butchers and ask what it was for. Reason being, he would hate giving back the spent money more than enjoying keeping the unearned cash. Plus it is easy to not feel jipped if you give it back and it hasn’t been spent since you really haven’t lost anything, whereas the alternative could be devastating lol.
Once asked the almighty CC about the cash, he finds out it wasn’t an error, but instead a bonus for being SOOOOO cool. Not caring about whether this is allowed in the ISFL rulebook, Soulja then goes ham on buying 20 new air rides. HAL Laboratories just released a new proto star worth 1mil so that was an easy purchase for him. He takes it and flies all the way to the moon! But of course, being a prototype, it wasn’t perfect. Turns out, it still runs on diesel and by the time hes on the moon, its empty and he didn’t check on the ride up. Stranded he had to call a space Uber for a ride back. After the trip, the cost of the uber ride turned out to be another 1 mil total, so he blew all the bonus in one go. Sad days, but at least it was house money.
What do you mean "what if"? I funnel extra money into my contract deposits all the time. It's really easy when you're the GM & write the posts yourself. Just stagger them enough so it's not so obvious you're doing it all at once. Do you really think the bankers go over these things with a fine toothed comb like Spaceballs? No no, they'll never find out because it'd cause even more of a headache for them trying to track down the overages & nobody actually wants to do their job more than just enough to get paid. Okay, that went a little further off the rails than I expected, but hey it adds a decent amount to my word count, which again proves my point that people don't actually want to do more than is absolutely necessary to get credit for their work. Now the funny thing is, if anyone actually reads this (which I highly doubt), then maybe they will try to dig through my bank logs & waste their time doing so because I've never actually ciphened extra money out of the bank. Who do you think I am, Faded? Too soon? Oh lighten up. As much as I like to tease HO about firing me, I've never done something that egregious to actually warrant it.
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09-26-2021, 08:56 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-26-2021, 08:57 PM by j00. Edited 1 time in total.)
Juno checks his bank balance for the first time since the signing and discovers two deposits, one of $5m and one of $4m. He is reminded of his meeting and parting handshake with the NOLA GM the night he arrived in NOLA, with him saying, "We will take good care of you", and smiles. There was no mistake here. He immediately buys $3m worth of various cryptocurrencies and stocks in some of the renewable energy companies that have started to see success in the face of the imminent global warming tipping point. The remaining million dollars is taken out in cash, all in $100 denominations. He immediately makes his way to the red light district in NOLA and peruses. To each beautiful woman he comes across, he proposes that he needs maids for his home, and that this is a long term work opportunity, and that the pay will be very worth. Many decline. Sucks to be them. After a few hours, he finds two beautiful women who he takes him and gives each of them $10k a week for the remainder of the season. They are given maid and massage duties, among other responsibilities. Lastly, Juno seeks a personal chef, also for the rest of the season. He pairs this hiring with a nutritionist, to ensure that his meals are planned and perfectly balanced for optimal performance.
Big Slammu has felt that he has been majorly under paid for his position for a long time. To circumvent the cap on his new team, the Hahalua, who had recently traded for him from the Yellowknife Wraiths, decided to give Slammu an under the table bonus. The controversy has come to light after an investigative report done by the ISFL. Big Slammu and the Hahalua could have come out of this relatively unscathed on the condition that Big Slammu hadn't used any of the illegal money he had been given by the organization. Unfortunately it seems Big Slammu has in fact used that money and not just a portion of it...the entire amount is no longer in Slammu's possession. The linebacker has refused to share with ISFL authorities on where exactly he has spent the money. The oddest part of the story is that the Hahalua had given him the money a mere 3 days before they were found out by the ISFL. This means that Big Slammu had managed to blow through the money in that short amount of time. The Hahalua are left scratching their heads as to what they are gonna do in the face of heavy fines, loss of draft picks and the unavoidable multi game suspension of Big Slammu, who they had given up a first round draft pick for on a 1 year deal.
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If there was a banking mistake that placed a cool four million in my bank account I would probably never notice. I know I am broke most of the time because I'm lazy and blow my GM money on equipment and if I run out of money someone from the bank will call me to yell at me. Now if I did have an extra four million and I did notice it, I don't know what I would do. Isn't it monopoly that you get a community chest gift of $100 on a bank issue? So this would be a "oops we messed up please don't spend it situation" so whatever I spend it on would probably be repoed. Im not going to be the player that gets his new car snatched up because the banker made a mistake. So if I find that I have an extra paycheck floating around I'm going to say that me,, being a good citizen, would not Ispend it. I'm not here to talk financials in the open because the feds always watching.
This whole PT sounds like something the HOFBI is running. I'm clean and in the words of Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. "If the feds listenin, what money?" Code: 207 Words
First of all, if I checked my bank account and there was 4 extra million, just know I totally got that legally. I did not rob one of the richest men in the league at all. I do not know Steg's bank login and accidentally transfered it to myself. Did not happen. It must be a fluke. Naturally, I would not tell anyone. If my GM's found out, I would simply slip them a few grand and make their troubles go away. As a poor badger that cannot seem to make money, I will be keeping and spending this money. The first thing I would spend it on is a whole lot of beer. I will go buy a bar in New York and make it themed. The track list would exclusively be my pre-game playlist. I think I would call the bar "Badger's Baddest Bar" or triple B for short. That way I can totally get more legal money and not steal from Steg again. To be clear, this is not a money laundering scheme. This is all legal and very lucrative. I'll invite all of the league to the bar and we can have a grand ole time while I make way more than a contract can get me.
While the purse strings are held way too tightly for this to ever happen in communist Arizona, should it happen at all, I’m fairly sure that Z would be on my tail in no-time at all. There aren’t too many rules for Arizona players but the main one that I have been made aware of is simply this: “Everyone takes minimum”. When everyone is taking a minimum, having four million disappear would be quickly noticed — especially since we’re usually operating pretty close to the cap.
If the money was deposited into my account accidentally, I’d return it as soon as humanly possible. Sure, it might allow me to buy some equipment easier next season but truth be told, I’m gonna be able to afford that anyway. However, that four million could also be spent on bringing in another top level player that could help push us over the final hurdle on our way to finally winning a damn championship and ultimately, that’s all that really matters at this stage. There’s no point having $4m in the bank when your fingers don’t have a ring on them. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m due to go renew my contract. There won’t be an extra $4m in my account at the end of it either. Code: 214 words |
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