(S38) PT 1 - Rocky Road

[MamaB]

In order for Mrs. “Stacks” McHits to be in tip too shape, she needs a wide variety of carbs, ice cream, and tacos. There is no other way for this beautiful bod to stay in that shape. Furthermore, the fad diets, fad cleanses, and other random trendy ways that are broadcast as the newest, best, and easiest way to keep pur bodies in tip top shape, is simply a farce. Those things all may work for a while. They may even be working, but they are not lifestyle changes that can be sustained. I was just in the dollar store and they were selling water weight loss pills. The best thing Mrs. “Stacks” McHits can do is listen to her body, and eat what she needs. Sometimes that is fruit and oatmeal, and other times it’s a party sized row of oreos with a tall glass of milk, always dunked.

[micool132]

SHL affiliate

[Kyamprac]

SHL Affiliate

[BOOM™]

[OrbitingDeath]

[C9Van]

SHL PT

[lordcoolcats]

Have you ever climbed a mountain? Do you know how it feels to push your body to its absolute maximum limit? To purge every ounce of your hard-earned blood sweat and tears, to the point where your own existence feels like a husk of its former self? Breathless, painstaking effort. Tiring, endless perseverance in an effort to reach the pinnacle of human achievement. Have you felt this?

Neither has Jasper Fontaine. He has a taste for the finer things. Why waste your days with exhausting training and rigorous diets when you could be enjoying the best that life has to offer?

Caloric restriction? How about nah.

Protein shakes? He’ll be having a mint julep instead.

Keep wasting your time force feeding insane amounts of protein into your body; meanwhile, Jazzy will be enjoying a succulent, fresh cut serving of fatty tuna sashimi. Go lift weights for 8 hours a day, but do not bother jasper with it. Catch him instead at the opera. At the art museum. At a silent disco.

When Jasper Fontaine steps onto the field, there is nothing on his mind but football. But during the offseason, he understands the importance of recovery. Do not trifle him with questions of work ethic. Instead, bring him a strawberry trifle to eat.

[212 words]

[Troen]

As another offseason comes and goes, a new season begins! As usual, your player's looking like the picture perfect athlete, but how is that? For this PT, describe what sort of activities your player does in the offseason to remain in shape and keep conditioned for the regular season. Do they go on a massive juicing diet? Go for long jogs on the beach? Perhaps they pad lock the pantry to avoid the temptation of snacking? Let us know!

I find that my biggest ways of staying fit and ready in the offseason are being involved in the team-organized routine training schedule along with taking time to look over what new equipment has come out since the last season and making sure that I have the best available. There is definitely diminishing returns - when I first got a set of professional equipment it felt like it was a huge multiplier for my skills and effectiveness on the field next year. These days, it's still a noticeable boost over the last year, but I feel that my floor is higher and so it's not like I'm getting 10-50% better like it felt in the earlier years. Either way, I'm really impressed with what's available on a professional's budget vs. what I had when I was in college.
Beyond equipment and normal training, I think it's also important to reflect on what I did well last year and what I need to improve on to be at the top of my game in the future. For example, in the most recent offseason I was working on competitiveness in fighting for the football when it's near me. To work on that, I drilled on punching out the ball, wrestling it out from receivers' holds, boxing out during coverage to try and make a catch myself, and other ways to try and get the ball from the offense to me. That seemed to pay dividends in week 2, with my first interception of the year and my longest interception return of my career (though sadly I was 4 yards short of the TD). So, I'm hoping that I can keep that up for the rest of the season.

[JuOSu]

Maxwell Jacob Friedman doesn't need to hit the gym to stay in shape. Have you seen my body? Looking like a chiseled statue of Adonis. Muscles everywhere baby. But to be fair, maybe I do lift some weight sometimes. Gotta show off to the boys, you know? I also hit the ring in the off-season and get some bookings in on the indy circuit for pro wrestling. Beat up some loser guys in the ring and show the world that MJF is better than you and you know it. A lot of my calories are burned by just looking into the mirror and admiring how great I look. I may look small but I am big where it matters baby. I try not to eat anything bad but obviously I drink champagne to celebrate and boy do I have a lot to celebrate so I guess some working out will be needed sometimes.

[Mooty99]

You want to know what I did this off season, well I would tell you however I am not really sure myself so that is a bit of a problem. You see to make up for the terrible season I went on a bit of a Bender, I took the starship heart of gold to the very best terrible dive bars this galaxy has to offer and honestly after the first couple of bars and the first couple of pan galactic gargle blasters I really don't remember a whole lot. It was lucky I set my electro inhibitor to kick in 1 week before the start of training camp or I would have never even made it back to this dull little blue green planet. But here I am now safe and sound, I did have to spend the first few sessions with a damp towel round my head but that just shows what a great time I had, I think.