This offseason, Spottie spent most of it training with newly promoted scrub @hotdog. Spottie put it upon himself to help train his eventual replacement, but obviously kept some of his secrets to himself as he doesn't want Sicko to steal his job too soon. We did steroids (of course) but we also watched film to keep our brains sharp as well. Our brains were so sharp, we started calling ourselves the cone heads. The lifting consisted of a less orthodox method. I had hotdog come to my house and move all my furniture into a truck. We then took the truck to a secondary location and moved it out of the truck into a different house. It was quite the experience. Watching him master this lifting plan so quickly. I didn't do any of the lifting myself as that would take away from Sicko's gains. He really seemed to enjoy the idea and couldn't thank me enough for my outside of the box thinking on how to gain muscle mass and work out.
The offseason means many things for many people. As an offensive lineman, the hardest part of training and conditioning is keeping on the mass. The caloric requirements to keep the furnace going are huge. To keep the fat and muscle at a nice even 325lb, I’ve got to keep up a 5,000 to 6,000 calorie diet all year long, it takes too long to ramp up right before the season starts.
Now for the strength portion of the training regime. I’m a lazy man when left to my own devices, and although I want to do almost nothing in the offseason, at least a little bit of strength and cardio is required to not show up to camp as a 500 pound lump. That said, I’m not hitting heavy weights during the offseason, I’m giving my body at least a little bit of a break. Last part of the offseason regimen is the mind, and that’s the easy part. Video games to keep the mind sharp, and I play the Madden Offensive Lineman RPG, which is as bad as it sounds. (Word Count 181)
Being a celebrity chef has it's perks for the off season. I get to travel around the world trying different foods and cooking techniques. Which of course also means going to some remote locations from some small villages in Africa to islands off the coast of Europe to some of the biggest cities in China. I am not real big on these crazy fad diets that every one else loves to try out. But I do beleive in eating a variety of different foods with lots of vegggies in every meal. But being a professional footballer, I also got to make sure I am eating plenty of protein to maintain my sexy football body. You don't get a booty this juicy from just sitting around eating candy all day. Also, got get them squats and dead lifts in to really tone the legs and booty. I do enjoy a nice jog in the morning to really get the body ready for the day, and it helps with waking up the mind a bit. Also got to get my playbook studying in a couple times a week. Make sure I know which receiver to throw the ball to, and which running back needs the ball and all that fun stuff.
One of the most important things for players to do is to stay in shape and be in peak physical condition to be ready so that their bodies are ready to take on a tough game. Here's how Cornelius King III manages to stay in peak physical fitness during the offseason and some of the activities he does.
Cornelius King III does not have a mega home gym that he works out in because he prefers spending time with trainers working out or training in large workout facilities with his fellow Dallas Birdog teammates. As he has said previously, and as planned, he will be visiting his alma mater, LSU, to train with his old coaches who once mentored him at a young age. Now some of the activities he does are five months of progressive running drills and agility drills. As a speedy wide receiver, he finds running WR specific sprints and agility drills, including change of direction running, and others, very important for his game as a young WR.
Kumquat Archipelago has to do a lot to keep his mind and body in pristine condition, especially during the season when the wear and tear of games is regularly apparent. To combat this wear and tear, Kumquat typically starts his day with exotic juices, yogurts, and/or smoothies. Some of the ways Kumquat enjoys staying in shape are:
-Curling up like a ball and rolling himself down a bowling lane. Strikes keep him especially in shape. -Mowing and weeding for his neighbors in the offseason. They know Kumquat will take care of it in the offseason, so they generally let things become very overgrown during the season. Kumquat does not appreciate this and is looking for a way out. -Kumquat enjoys playing polo on foot. He can generally keep up with the horses with ease, but is not a fan of their hooves. -Running 26 out of the 26.2 miles of a Marathon and then stopping to prank other racers toward the finish line. Not malicious pranks, mind you, very mild mannered, innocent, and well meaning pranks. Replacing the orange juice on tables with grapefruit juice and things of that nature. 186 words
Bender don't care about staying in shape. Afterall he is a robot. Robots don't get out of shape. So, he spent the whole offseason smoking fat cigars and drinking an obscene amount of alcohol. He even skipped the minicamp that is optional for veteran players. Once mandatory training camp rolled around, Bender's joints were full of rust, causing him to move slow. Uh oh. Turns out robots can get out of shape. He had to get in shape fast. Everyone thinks that running is the fastest way to get in shape. But you know what's faster than that? Running from the cops. So, Bender set about committing obvious crimes in front of cops: tripping old ladies, sticking cats in trees, and stealing donuts from cops. He would then run away as fast as he could. And it worked! he came into the season in the most average shape possible: 61 endurance! LFG
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My kicker has started really caring for his body over the past few off-seasons. He’s maintained good leg strength for most of life, but after some intense training in a homemade minimalist gym, he has gotten into really good physical shape. There is a lot of good activities my kicker does to keep up with the other professional athletes. Some of his teammates have described their routines such as chasing chickens around and running marathons basically. There is a lot of work that goes into maintaining physical condition. A lot of work this off-season was eating better, better cardio, and a lot of weights. We should see what happens this upcoming season and whether the better physical shape contributes to better stats. The New Orleans training staff is working hard on keeping the players happy and in good shape. Maybe he will start going on long jogs on the beach. That should help with cardio and keep my kicker kicking good into the late quarters of the game.
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