(S27) Ultimus Week

[Cincyfan96]

6) Write 800 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 800 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.


I've always looked at the number 6 task for Ultimus week as a bit of a cop out - come on, surely you could answer one of the other questions, why do you have to go rogue? But this season there is one thing that was extremely noteworthy in my mind: the Orange County Otters are, for the first time ever, watching the playoffs from the outside. They had a losing record of 6-10 and are now in the midst of their first rebuild in franchise history. It is fitting that in the same timeframe as the New England Patriots having their first losing record in over 20 years, our own powerhouse saw its impressive streak of 26 straight playoff berths and 26 straight non-losing records (there was one season of .500 and the rest were winning records) come to a close. Anyone who knows me regarding my love of sports knows that I am never one to cheer for the team that just keeps winning. I loved watching the rise of the Warriors in the NBA and seeing their new style of play take over the league, but I was ready to see them stop winning after four straight NBA championship appearances. I have infinite respect for the work that Tom Brady has put in to get to the Super Bowl time and time again, but golly gee I'll be giddy when he finally does retire...if that ever happens. The rise of the Chiefs has also been extremely fun to watch as a new age of NFL action is led by Kansas City, but I'm wary to see them be too dominant, lest the competitiveness of the NFL suffer another AFC dynasty on the heels of the longest it's ever had. But most of all, this is the reason that the MLB infuriates me. The fact that owners can basically buy the best team if they're willing to pay for it takes out so much of the grind and hustle that makes sports so fascinating to me.

Rambling aside, I am excited to see Orange County in this position. This is not because I have any ill will for Orange County - their recruiters were nice to me, their GMs run a great team, and their attitude as a whole has been excellent from what I can see as a part of this league. I'm excited for this because it means that more than half of the teams are being run with excellence. Sure, sim luck plays into everything we do, but it takes fielding a solid roster and putting together a solid strategy to bear Orange County any given week, and that happened this season 10 different times! As a part of a team that is building from the ground up in Berlin, I'm excited to see successful rebuilds, first time builds, and renaissances throughout the league right now that are making it very difficult to assume a victory on any given week. I'm sure that Orange County will be back soon - no team that well built will stay down for long - but I am excited as this season draws to a close to see so much good competition in our league as we continue to have more and more well run, competitive clubs in the running for a change at the Ultimus trophy.

Looking back to Orange County, don’t be afraid to pick them to immediately win again next season. They’ve got a maxed out QB in Suleiman Ramza, with killer weapons – Despacito Jr, Heath Evans, and Owen Holloway on the rise. The switch of Phillips to Running Back was a great decision that will only look better next year, and their offensive line is deeeeeeeep. Then, look to defense, where Orange County has just about always hung their hat, and you have a killer line with Eagle, Scott, and Goat Tank – another top DE would make this group OUTRAGEOUS. You also have Booker, Vegeta, Smoothie, Bob, Biggums, and Leaking creaking an INSANE secondary that terrifies me. Deshun Jones and Joseph Joestar are solid in the middle, and there is really no weak spot on this roster. The fact that they lost 10 games this season is a testament to the level of excellent competition in this league, not to the lack of talent on their roster.

So enjoy this win, league! Enjoy a year of not watching our New England Patriots in the super bowl, but don’t think that it’s a sign of things to come. This team is well made, probably better made than any other team. They know how to do this thing, they know how to compete every single down and they don’t let up for a single moment. And that’s why this season is worthy of celebration. Orange County’s winning ways have been contagious and they’ve been inspiring and our league is better for it. So thank you, Orange County for being so gosh darn good. I hope my team beats yours next year!

[slothfacekilla]

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You may submit one affiliate PT from PBE, SHL, or GOMHL for 2.5 TPE. You must link directly to your affiliate PT post made during the same time period (i.e. timestamped between Mar 8 - 18). Make sure you tell us if you have a different username.

PBE PT (2.5 TPE)

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Tier 2: Short Form Tasks (Each must be 400+ words) (5 TPE)
10) Describe your player and/or team’s journey through this latest season. What were the highlights? What were the lower points? What might you have done differently? What are your expectations for next season?

The New Orleans Second Line definitely had a rollercoaster of a season in the first season of the new sim.  We went .500 in the preseason so I wasn't really sure what to expect once the regular season rolled around.  It seemed like there were still tweaks being made to the sim itself as well as team strategies, so it was anyone's guess how it would go.  We started off our season with two losses to teams in our conference, ouch.  While we didn't get blown out in either game really it wasn't the start that we were looking for, especially with the new sim engine in place.  Luckily we were able to massacre San Jose in week 3 to turn ourselves around a bit.  Unluckily enough we would drop a close road loss to Orange County the next week, losing by only two points.  Going 1-2 and the next two weeks, the Second Line were looking at 2-5 through 7 weeks of the season and the playoff hopes looked pretty dim for the team from the Big Easy.  It wasn't really until a week 10 win over the SaberCats to finish the season sweep of San Jose that we really got on a roll.  We would win 6 of the last 7 games on our schedule to climb up the rankings and vault into a playoff spot!  Not only that, we defied the prediction odds  and we were able to upset the Arizona Outlaws on the road in the first round of the playoffs.  So I would say whatever our team did to turn this season around, it really worked because it was night and day from the start of our campaign.

Personally, I had my best season of my career by far.  I was near the top of the passing stats for most of the season, and I finished with the most yards in the league breaking 5,000 yards for the fist time in my career.  I also threw a good amount of touchdowns with few interceptions when compared to my peers, so I would say I have a strong case to get some nominations in the awards.  Nothing is for sure but I was extremely pleased with how my season went at QB.  Hopefully I can keep this momentum going and have a couple more decent seasons before regression and/or a new quarterback force me out of New Orleans.  I'm cautiously optimistic about both New Orleans' and my player's futures.

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Tier 3: Written/Graphics Tasks (Each must be either 200+ words or a graphic)
Choose up to FOUR for 2.5 TPE each.
22) Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service. What is it? How do you endorse it?

I am not really sure why anyone would really choose Ben Slothlisberger to promote one of their products based on his past endorsement performances, but I guess with him having the best season of his career brands may be trying to capitalize on the height of his so called popularity. After some busts in his previous endorsement campaigns selling cigarettes (you would think he would put some effort in since he smokes on the field but I guess not) he would probably be barred from that industry again. Since Ben is a pretty big lad I think the food industry would be interested in using him as an endorser, and food delivery services especially would be interested since Slothlisberger orders in a lot. He would probably endorse it the same way that he did the cigarettes previously: show up and collect a paycheck to whatever function and not put in much effort. He could do a couple lines in a commercial or something, plus they could use footage of him eating since he's going to do that no matter what. Either way they better hope his popularity is going to help them cash in because he certainly isn't going to tweet an ad or anything like that. Hopefully they aren't paying him too much, but either way he'll probably get some free meal deliveries out of it. So in the end Ben wins.

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[StadiumGambler]

4) “Sim gonna sim” is a popular expression in the league. Write about teams that have been graced by the sim gods and had amazing performances despite statistical odds, and/or about teams that were considered favorites but may have dealt with some bad sim luck that hampered their efforts. How much of an impact did it have on their season(s)? (10TPE, 800 words)

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*cracks knuckles*. Hoo boy, sit down and let me tell you a story.

So Portland got truly and utterly screwed by the sim. First of all, when the team gets assembled everyone is thinking ticker tape. We've got quality capped players at just about every position, some rookies were convinced to position swap and be more effective elsewhere, and the depth was strong where it needed to be. The team had minor flaws like an inept fullback who occasionally popped up to affect the game in weird ways, but nothing that should've been season threatening. Tight End and OLine were not superduper star quality, but they weren't for many other teams either.

So season starts, and we reel off 3 straight wins to start, as expected, although a couple moments were weird like the season opener against Kansas City where we were down due to stupid stuff but came back. Fine, whatever, its within margin of error, but we're winning. Then we face London, who goes on to be a 6-8 team that misses the playoffs this year, and they beat us 16-14 in a nip and tuck game. We miss a field goal from 50+ that could've been decisive had it gone through the uprights (and that came from a sequence where we were at the 23 yard line with 1st and 5 after a penalty, then went incompletion - 2 yard loss on a run - sack). We also had an end of half sequence where we ran 4 times in a row and turned the ball over on downs, gaining 3 goddamn yards. Had we been enterprising and tried some passing, we might've gotten in field goal range and who knows how that changes things. In general, our running game got nowhere, but unlike a real-life coach, the AI sorta kept going with the run even in situations where it wouldn't make sense to, like 2nd or 3rd and long.

But that loss is maybe within the margin of error, I mean, good teams don't just roll mediocre ones every game, and perhaps London was good but just got bogged down the in mid-tier of teams in the DSFL. Then a couple weeks later, we give up 40 points to Dallas to go 4-2, but Dallas had the 2nd best offense in the league that year behind us, so its somewhat understandable.

Then we get to the 3rd loss of the year, against a game team in the Minnesota Grey Ducks. Portland loses 17-14, and gets undone by RNG turnovers and penalties at the worst possible time. Both teams ground games went nowhere, but in general Portland had more of the offensive play, outgaining Minny 388-248. Cade York misses another tough field goal that could've tied, and LeBron James III saved his one big mistake for the end of the game where he threw an interception in field goal range. James threw 9 picks in 14 games, and saves this rare mistake for the worst possible time. Just a backbreaker.

Then we get to one of the worst sporting events I've ever witnessed, the conference championship loss to Kansas City, a team we beat twice in the regular season and could've beaten worse. Our running game clicks, and we gain 234 yards on the ground, but due to the sims coaching limitations we only give this successful running game 17 touches. LeBron James III, who had an MVP caliber season to this point, sputters and has a miserable game against a lower-end secondary in KC, who were starting bot-level corners and safeties. KC having a good enough offense to score 31 is fine, but their defense should've been rolled over by the high caliber of offensive talent Portland had. We had the number 1 offense in points per game, yards per game, and passing yards per game, but got nothing done with our biggest strength against their weakness. Furthermore, in that game we committed 9 penalties vs 2 from the less experienced KC side.

Had we simply abandoned passing though, and focused on the running game that was gaining over 10 yards a carry, we might've been able to put up more than 21, and then later on sprung playaction passes if we needed to make up long down and distances. Instead we go pass-pass-pass-punt with a passing game that wasn't working and a running game that was doing nothing but work. Any sensible real-life coach would've made adjustments on the fly. Instead we got this ridiculous loss, capping off a year where we were expected to take the next step after a 13-1 campaign with a loss to a .500 team with plenty of holes.

Now yes, some of these losses happen to teams IRL as a result of a bunch of circumstances. In the NFL you had teams such as the Peyton Manning Colts being league leaders in a bunch of relevant departments, only to completely fall apart in the playoffs. This year though, should've been the year Portland made something happen. We could've gone 13-1 or 12-2 easy, and then annihilated our conference opposition to face the other great team Dallas in a highlight reel Ultimini showdown. But we were robbed by a sim that still doesn't take general player talent and tactical play-by-play adjustments into account when determining winners and losers. The sim still has a long way to go before being realistic, and I have some justification that if this league were real, Portland would be in the finals.

[King Jellyfish]

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29) The "Busch Goose Man of the Year" Award honors the biggest fan of the Legend and Legacy of Busch Goose. The "Busch Goose Man of the Year" award is presented annually by the International Simulation Football League (ISFL) honoring a player's volunteer and contribution to Busch Goose´s legacy, as well as his excellence on the field. The winner wears a patch depicting the trophy on their uniforms and forumfor the rest of their ISFL careers.


@infinitempg

[noanic]

22) Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service. What is it? How do you endorse it?


23) Design the ideal uniform or a helmet for a team in the DSFL or ISFL. Graphics only.


24) Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league. Graphics only.


29) Awards season is upon us. If you could create an award for anything in the league that doesn’t already exist, what would it be? Who do you think should get it?

[Faelax]

17. The Chicago Butchers obviously have a reputation to uphold, and as Butchers, the stadium has to serve all kinds of premium meats. The on site butcher shop has become a fan favorite, serving up all kinds of meats in various shapes and sizes, served all different kinds of ways, and with all of the trimmings. One of the favorites is the BBQ pit. Located just behind the away team’s endzone, the BBQ pit is hard at work all day smoking every thing that you could think of. Fall off the bone ribs, perfect brisket, amazing chicken wings, even some exotic stuff like smoked swordfish when Sarasota comes to town. If you want to visit, make sure you get there early or you will for sure miss some of the game while you wait in line. The other really popular food attraction at Meatgrinder Field is the Chophouse. Located at the 50 yard line, the Chophouse is serving up a high end meal with a perfect view of all the action on the field. It is really popular with the corporate crowd, who like to bring in prospective clients to the game while also being able to treat them to a five star meal. Whatever kind of meal you are after at Meatgrinder Field, you can find it at one of the famous meat markets. (224 words)


22. Evan Jones is a big sneakerhead, so when he got a call from his agent telling him that he had a sponsorship lined up with Adidas, Evan wasted no time and jumped at the opportunity. The deal did not pay all that much since Jones is not a huge name in the sim football world yet, but deals like this are what help you get your name out there. He gets a nice check every month along with some of the newest releases in the sneaker market, and all he has to do is wear Adidas cleats and other gear. Evan has worked with Adidas on some custom cleats too, ranging from a pink set for breast cancer awareness month games, to a wonderful python scales design for home games in Portland, and a couple other designs that are still in the works. He is excited to show off his Chicago Butchers debut set here when the next season starts up. There is even a rumor floating around about Jones getting his own sneaker line here soon, but Jones would not give any details when asked about it. It was pretty easy to tell he was excited about something when he was asked about it, so something is definitely going on there. (212 Words)

30. Scouting report for ISFL prospect Offensive Lineman Stumpy Jones-
Stumpy Jones comes to Portland via Evergreen College. Not much is known about the mysterious ent’s background, but what we can tell you is that this sentient tree is a monster of an offensive lineman. One of, if not the strongest prospect in the season 28 class, they also display a surprising intelligence to their game, since trees are not exactly known for their brains. The way they use their limbs to throw defenders on the ground is something that a human lineman could simply not achieve, as shown by Stumpy’s league leading 67 pancakes. Jones only allowed one sack all season through fourteen games, which is also very impressive considering the uptick in sacks we saw this season. One area for Stumpy to improve on is his movement. As you could imagine, while trees are very tough and hard to get through, they are fairly immobile and easy to get around. If Stumpy can work on improving that in whatever way trees improve themselves,Jones could easily be a top offensive lineman in the league before you know it. And nothing short of a forest fire or a mishap at the hands of the Fire Salamanders is going to force Jones into retirement, so picking him up in the draft is a wise investment in the future of your team, as they will likely outlive the league itself. (234 words)

20. There are a couple of positions Evan Jones could be pretty good at if he needed to fill in for injured players. The obvious but least exciting one is cornerback, since it is a fairly similar position to safety and you will often see players bouncing from one position to the other. Jones would also make for a good outside linebacker, he has the speed to get to the quarterback quickly on a pass rush or cover tight ends or running backs in the passing game. If he had to play on the offensive side of the ball, he would likely line up at wide receiver. There is the old meme that says defensive backs are receivers who do not have the hands needed to be a good wide out, but I think that Jones would do a good job at the position. He has the speed to make huge plays downfield, making him a great deep threat. He would also be dangerous on slant routes, since he will be faster than any linebacker that picks him up in zone coverage. Jones would also open up some fun plays with stuff like screen passes and jet sweeps. The possibilities are almost endless if you have a creative coach who isn’t afraid to call some interesting plays.

[infinitempg]

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29) The "Busch Goose Man of the Year" Award honors the biggest fan of the Legend and Legacy of Busch Goose. The "Busch Goose Man of the Year" award is presented annually by the International Simulation Football League (ISFL) honoring a player's volunteer and contribution to Busch Goose´s legacy, as well as his excellence on the field. The winner wears a patch depicting the trophy on their uniforms and forumfor the rest of their ISFL careers.


@infinitempg

I don’t know what any of this means but I love it

[Alcott]

7) 

So this will be similar to my original Ultimus week post from my first week joining the league, but with updates as I've gone through a (almost) full season in the DSFL. Starting things off I would say that my experience has only been good, but it certainly had a waning portion early in the DSFL season where I thought my player was not performing very well due to having no stats. Thankfully I put in some work and reviewed the games to discover, to my own delight, that my player was actually playing very well despite the lack of statistical significance, which also led to a soon to be released media series that will hopefully net me some much needed cash. Aside from the quick dip in morale, the year in the DSFL has gone splendidly, as my Dallas Birddogs have made team history in putting up the most wins in a season for themselves and logging their first playoff win. And as I said at the start, I'm only almost through a season, as the Ultimini will be played tonight, with my player gracing the field for the last time this season, ideally ending in a victory for the Birddogs. Part of what has made it such a good experience has been all the amazing people in the league, both on my pre-ISFL teams and those reaching out from the ISFL, that are more than willing to help give advice or just talk. I haven't gotten drafted in the ISFL yet, but if it's anything like the scouting that's been going on I think I'll be very happy with wherever I land. If I were to propose one suggestion for the ISFL it would be to incorporate a "Pro Bowl" type event at the end of every season. I know the ISFL does some things for Ultimus week like the awards, but maybe some fan voted matchups or (if it's even possible) some type of simulated Pro Bowl events like back in the early 2000s NFL (events could be 40 yard dash, long ball, QB accuracy drill, strongest man, field goal competition). Could be fun to enter it and then have a D20 roll based on your attributes to see who comes out on top, either just for fun/bragging rights or even a small chunk of change/TPE. If there is a prize then maybe the players could pay for extra rolls to hope they get one good one but if its just for fun then I don't see why a one and done for each person.

10)
As mentioned in the top portion answer to question 7, the journey this year has been one of great reward for both my player, Cole Maxwell, and my team, the DSFL Dallas Birddogs. After a record setting season my team and player are set to play in the Ultimini this week against the Kansas City Coyotes, who were able to upset the Portland Pythons (the only other team in the DSFL to eclipse 8 wins this year). But that's the end of the journey, let's take a stroll through it. The year started off as a good indication of what the real results would be, with Dallas coming out on top in the first three preseason games and losing the fourth and final game with my player putting up sporadic stats each night (albeit better than my actual game averages). The season followed suit, ironically, when the team started on a four game winning streak before falling to the Bondi Beach Buccaneers in the fifth week. The Birddogs would then go on another tear, ripping off seven straight wins before taking a knee on the last two games of the year, for a Birddog team record 11-3 season. Not to break only one record that year, the Birddogs then faced the Tijuana Luchadors and came out victorious to capture the franchise's very first playoff win, all behind an epic fourth quarter comeback for added flair. My player, however, had a different cadence to the year. He put up two tackles in the first, fourth, and fifth games of the year, with a compete goose egg in weeks two and three, and then exploding for six tackles, a pass defense, and an interception in week 6. From there it was pretty consistent between 1-5 tackles and occasionally a pass deflection or two, solid both nothing too incredibly fancy. Solid some would say. If anything has been outstanding over the course of the season it has been my player's TPE development, already reaching over the 250 TPE cap set by the DSFL, placing him near the top of his draft class and first in TPE earned for safeties in the season 28 rookie pool. With the TPE earn rate and the Birddogs explosive offense and suffocating defense, the future of both look incredibly bright. I'm sure winning the Ultimini would help the draft grade of Cole and would certainly give the Birddogs a reason to add a trophy case the Dog House in Dallas.

[TheCC]

GM UW Pass

[zeagle1]

2) 
The season 25 draft class may not have been quite as big as the season 22 draft class, but it is better in my not very humble opinion. Being a Reddit NFL class, there were high expectations in place and they were shattered. Not only does the class have some amazing users in it, it's also produced a ton of successful players as well.

The first round of the DSFL draft produced some megastars. Veteran user and GM Raven was the first overall pick to the Portland Pythons. He may no longer be GM in Honolulu, but he's helped turn the team around, and hopefully they win an Ultimus this season! Beefstu had some controversy around him, but he was an extremely active and well liked user until he went IA a few seasons back. GOAT TANK went third, and user Eldorian is a legend on the forums for his decompiling work and record setting DSFL season. Hopefully he gets some new accomplishments so he does not sound too washed up already. I am pretty sure he leads the class in TPE, which is no small feat considering the amazing users in it. The fifth pick was Katarn, who has become one of my best friends in the league and is currently coGM of London with another first round pick, Slate, who went seventh overall. Both of these guys are awesome, and even though their record does not show it, they are fantastic GMs who will surely lead london to glory in the future.

In the second round, Arkz was the first pick. He is currently the ISFL awards committee head, and probably would be my coGM if he wasn't so freaking successful and busy irl. He's an awesome guy and I'm so glad we both ended up on Portland. Crunk was another second round pick, and he should have been first overall in my opinion. He is in contention for ISFL GMotY hopefully, he's an awesome guy and a max earner to boot. r0tz was the pick after Crunk. r0tz has been a HO intern (maybe full HO idk) and is currently GMing Dallas to their first good season ever, which is quite a feat. The second round had one last GM in it with Glims going seventh in the round. He might not max earn, but he still has a very good player, and was a much better GM than his record indicates. Hopefully he can land on his feet in austin and continue to be an awesome dude.

The third round had some studs, starting with the GOAT RB, Bronko Mills. He was so good that TPE did not even matter in the ISFL draft, where he was picked before the man who he was picked before in the DSFL draft too, Darren Pama, of user Let'splay/ztarwarz. The rather one-sided rivalry between the two never ceases to amuse me and annoy people in Youtube chat. Jimi was the last pick in the third round, and apparently he's a cool guy too. I have barely interacted with him, but many people I like have nice things to say about him.

The fourth round started off with a bang, with Portland selecting COL GM frick_nasty first. His sim league experience helped Portland right the ship, and who knows, he may be coming back to Portland in the upcoming DSFL draft. QBs came off the board next, with Peterson and Daytona being drafted. Peterson never amounted to much, but is a cool guy. Daytona is currently the worst QB in the ISFL but surely he will get better (no where to go but up). Tex Wrecks was the next pick and he was a super max earner but has dropped off recently. He made pretty sick sigs too. Swanty!!!!! Swanty is awesome and the only reason he fell to the fourth is because he was OL. He's been a HO intern twice now and is super awesome and if you haven't gotten to know him you should. Cody also was drafted in this round and is currently the experienced guidance in the Philly GM pairing.

In the fifth round, Thaith was the first pick, and is actually a good guy when you get to know him. Shock, I know. Also in the fifht round, frazzle was picked. He is awesome and currently is a KCC GM and will probably be GMotY.
The first pick of the sixth round was ya boy. *insert copypasta here* Also in the sixth round was Pat, who is an awesome person and is a GM of Philly and a future GMotY with Cody. Xenos is the best kicker from the draft and was picked in the sixth too. Rev is an awesome user and probably will be a successful GM someday but was still picked after me lol. Donald McBobby is now IA but is like PBE MVP or something so that counts as success imo.

Undoubtedly the best pick of the draft is uncle rico, mister irrelevant. what a legend.


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