Rory, Celly, Roar, Larry. The London mascot goes by many names, but one that graces our Locker Room last night (proposed by yours truly) may have what it takes to stick around. I now present to you the longest named mascot in both the ISFL and the DSFL: Supreme Leader of the Meat Beaters that Reside in London, or Supreme for short. Supreme is an absolute mammoth of a Lion, standing at 7 feet, 6 inches and weighing in at roughly 350 pounds - with a 2% body fat. I guess the best way to describe him would be to imagine Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson as a real life lion, but you know, with a mane and a tail. While most mascots might dance and jump around to hype up the crowd, Supreme simply does pushups. But not just any pushups. Supreme can bust out 100 one-armed pushups in less than 60 seconds. And he does this every time the Royals waltz into the endzone (which if you’ve been watching this season, has been quite a bit). Supreme is special compared to other mascots in the DSFL because he is undefeatable at 1 on 1 combat. Coyotes? A normal lion could take down a coyote, don’t even think that Supreme would struggle. Pythons? What’s a snake going to do after Supreme hucks it 50 yards across the football field. Grey Ducks? Please, I could take down a duck, Supreme wouldn’t even break a sweat. Birddogs? Fake mascot, next. Luchadores? Picture the Undertaker vs Rey Mysterio, total mismatch. Seawolves? See Birddogs. Buccaneers? Supreme laughs in the face of the pirate, because little does he know but Supreme is actually bulletproof.
278 words.
278 words.