4. “Sim gonna sim” is a popular expression in the league. Write about teams that have been graced by the sim gods and had amazing performances despite statistical odds, and/or about teams that were considered favorites but may have dealt with some bad sim luck that hampered their efforts. How much of an impact did it have on their season(s)?
Let’s talk about the Chicago Butchers season, shall we? When I think of the expression, “Sim gonna sim,” I typically think about it in terms of a player having a bad game or a team losing a close game. What I DIDN’T think about until now is how it is possible to have such a bad run of luck that you end up finishing 6-10 despite a fairly strong roster and some decent sim testing. To truly understand how the sim absolutely womped the Chicago squad, we have to take a look at the numbers.
The first thing you might notice looking back at Chicago’s season is that out of *16* games, *12* were decided by 7 points or less. It seemed like when it came to the 4th quarter, heartbreak was as common in Chicago as neon green relish and tomato slices on a hot dog. Out of those 12 games, Chicago only managed to win *4* of them--that’s 8 games of last minute heartache as we watched our season slowly wither away.
But it wasn’t just that we lost a lot of close games. To be sure, if it were only about losing close games then you could chalk it up to a normal roll of the dice. In actuality, it seemed as though the sim had a personal vendetta against Chicago for reasons unknown. To understand what I mean, allow me to go over a couple of the more harrowing and gut-punching losses we had in the 4th quarter and overtime.
Our very first loss of the season really set the tone for how the sim was going to crush our spirits in the weeks to come. Coming off of two big wins--including the season opener over the reigning champs in Sarasota--the Butchers hosted the Philadelphia Liberty in a game that many people had picked Chicago to win. The game ended up being a much closer game than anticipated, with the lead going back and forth on trading field goals. A successful two-minute drill led by Chicago QB O’Donnell brought us three points from a Sidekick field goal for the go-ahead points with only 5 seconds remaining.
That’s when the sim did something I’d never, or at least rarely ever, seen.
Philly WR Flash Panda fielded the kickoff with 5 seconds remaining, and returned it 105 yards to the house for the walk-off touchdown. We were gutted. But hey? It was still early in the season, and yeah sometimes the sim gonna sim. We couldn’t possibly have such bad luck again, right? Being 2-1, things still looked fairly bright for Chicago.
The next two games were losses as well, though the week 4 loss to Colorado wasn’t particularly abnormal--just a close game. Same with week 5 when we hosted the Yellowknife Wraiths; sure, it sucks to lose to a literal last minute 48 yard field goal, but still, it’s not SO unrealistic or unexpectedly. Sometimes things do be like that.
Things got a little more rough in week 6 when the Outlaws came to town. In a high scoring game, the Butchers fought their way into overtime against the Outlaws with a touchdown pass in the final minute to bring the game to OT. The two teams traded blows and possessions a couple times, and everyone knew that something had to give at some point. Unfortunately for us, on Chicago’s third offensive possession in OT, O’Donnell threw a pick to Outlaw Rich Triplet, giving the Outlaws immediate field goal position. They kicked it through the uprights and knocked us down to four straight losses and a 2-4 record.
Finally we were able to dig in and eke out a couple of much needed victories in week 7 and 8 to bring our record to an even 4-4. Just as our spirits were being lifted by the potential to still make the playoffs, we once again were absolutely gutted AT HOME again in week 9 by the Sabercats. Again, this loss felt more than just losing a close game--it felt like a personal attack by the sim.
Another back-and-forth battle that saw Chicago QB O’Donnell throw for over 400 yards, we managed to get into field goal range with 1:04 left in the fourth quarter. A Sidekick kick put another 3 points on the board as we took the lead 24-23--but no one, and I mean NO ONE, was relaxed in the Chicago Locker Room. After all we’d been through so far, we knew that one minute was more than enough time for the sim to womp us again, and embarrass us at home.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s exactly what happened.
San Jose managed to move the chains a couple of times, but the swarming Chicago defense was able to stop them on third down right around midfield, presumably outside of field goal range. But when McDiarmid lined up for the 63 yard field goal, we all knew what was going to happen. The ball was snapped, and booted over 63 yards for the walk-off field goal. Victory, San Jose. Oh my god, the absolute state of Chicago at that point. The scenes in the locker room.
“Sim hates us! Sim sucks!” etc, etc.
I could go on and on about the rest of the season, but I’m not sure anything comes quite as close on the pain scale as the loss to San Jose that sealed the season for us conceptually, and the kick return TD with 5 seconds remaining. Honestly, it’s taken a lot out of me just to recount the season, and I hope, NO, I pray that the sim takes pity on us poor folk in Chicago, for we know not what we’ve done.
952 words
Let’s talk about the Chicago Butchers season, shall we? When I think of the expression, “Sim gonna sim,” I typically think about it in terms of a player having a bad game or a team losing a close game. What I DIDN’T think about until now is how it is possible to have such a bad run of luck that you end up finishing 6-10 despite a fairly strong roster and some decent sim testing. To truly understand how the sim absolutely womped the Chicago squad, we have to take a look at the numbers.
The first thing you might notice looking back at Chicago’s season is that out of *16* games, *12* were decided by 7 points or less. It seemed like when it came to the 4th quarter, heartbreak was as common in Chicago as neon green relish and tomato slices on a hot dog. Out of those 12 games, Chicago only managed to win *4* of them--that’s 8 games of last minute heartache as we watched our season slowly wither away.
But it wasn’t just that we lost a lot of close games. To be sure, if it were only about losing close games then you could chalk it up to a normal roll of the dice. In actuality, it seemed as though the sim had a personal vendetta against Chicago for reasons unknown. To understand what I mean, allow me to go over a couple of the more harrowing and gut-punching losses we had in the 4th quarter and overtime.
Our very first loss of the season really set the tone for how the sim was going to crush our spirits in the weeks to come. Coming off of two big wins--including the season opener over the reigning champs in Sarasota--the Butchers hosted the Philadelphia Liberty in a game that many people had picked Chicago to win. The game ended up being a much closer game than anticipated, with the lead going back and forth on trading field goals. A successful two-minute drill led by Chicago QB O’Donnell brought us three points from a Sidekick field goal for the go-ahead points with only 5 seconds remaining.
That’s when the sim did something I’d never, or at least rarely ever, seen.
Philly WR Flash Panda fielded the kickoff with 5 seconds remaining, and returned it 105 yards to the house for the walk-off touchdown. We were gutted. But hey? It was still early in the season, and yeah sometimes the sim gonna sim. We couldn’t possibly have such bad luck again, right? Being 2-1, things still looked fairly bright for Chicago.
The next two games were losses as well, though the week 4 loss to Colorado wasn’t particularly abnormal--just a close game. Same with week 5 when we hosted the Yellowknife Wraiths; sure, it sucks to lose to a literal last minute 48 yard field goal, but still, it’s not SO unrealistic or unexpectedly. Sometimes things do be like that.
Things got a little more rough in week 6 when the Outlaws came to town. In a high scoring game, the Butchers fought their way into overtime against the Outlaws with a touchdown pass in the final minute to bring the game to OT. The two teams traded blows and possessions a couple times, and everyone knew that something had to give at some point. Unfortunately for us, on Chicago’s third offensive possession in OT, O’Donnell threw a pick to Outlaw Rich Triplet, giving the Outlaws immediate field goal position. They kicked it through the uprights and knocked us down to four straight losses and a 2-4 record.
Finally we were able to dig in and eke out a couple of much needed victories in week 7 and 8 to bring our record to an even 4-4. Just as our spirits were being lifted by the potential to still make the playoffs, we once again were absolutely gutted AT HOME again in week 9 by the Sabercats. Again, this loss felt more than just losing a close game--it felt like a personal attack by the sim.
Another back-and-forth battle that saw Chicago QB O’Donnell throw for over 400 yards, we managed to get into field goal range with 1:04 left in the fourth quarter. A Sidekick kick put another 3 points on the board as we took the lead 24-23--but no one, and I mean NO ONE, was relaxed in the Chicago Locker Room. After all we’d been through so far, we knew that one minute was more than enough time for the sim to womp us again, and embarrass us at home.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s exactly what happened.
San Jose managed to move the chains a couple of times, but the swarming Chicago defense was able to stop them on third down right around midfield, presumably outside of field goal range. But when McDiarmid lined up for the 63 yard field goal, we all knew what was going to happen. The ball was snapped, and booted over 63 yards for the walk-off field goal. Victory, San Jose. Oh my god, the absolute state of Chicago at that point. The scenes in the locker room.
“Sim hates us! Sim sucks!” etc, etc.
I could go on and on about the rest of the season, but I’m not sure anything comes quite as close on the pain scale as the loss to San Jose that sealed the season for us conceptually, and the kick return TD with 5 seconds remaining. Honestly, it’s taken a lot out of me just to recount the season, and I hope, NO, I pray that the sim takes pity on us poor folk in Chicago, for we know not what we’ve done.
952 words