15. After the Butchers win the Ultimus, which we’re guaranteed to win because we have away field advantage the rest of the way, I’d think that the Ultimus Game MVP would be Jason Garciaparra. Jason is a huge threat on the field, so he probably got like 4 sacks during the game to dominate. Because he’s the game MVP he’s gonna be going to Disney and he’s going to go on a wild series of adventures. First of all, Jason would probably miss the flight to Disney. The dumpster he lives in gets awful cell reception so he didn’t get the call that his limo was here. Once he actually gets to Disney, he’s going to do the Jason Garciaparra honored tradition; talking to random strangers about his thoughts on birds. Jason can do this for a good four hours or so before realizing he’s in Disney and should probably go on one of the rides. Jason would also likely get banned from the rides after seeing his photo taken on one of them and smashing everything in sight because the government is spying on him. So in conclusion, Jason Garciaparra will be the Ultimus MVP, and his Disney celebration will be full of conspiracy theories and getting banned for destruction of property.
17. Brand new Butchers stadium is being built and there’s a lot of new additions that we’re going to see. First of all to fulfill the impending arrival of Tessie Garciaparra, we’re going to see the installation of a private quesadilla factory. Tessie is addicted to quesadillas and has been to rehab several times for this issue but the team will enable her because they’re the source of her power. Second addition to the stadium will be the Tree Gelbman memorial axe throwing center. Tree is alive just currently in locations unknown, so the memorial center will be maybe moot if she turns up at the stadium and trashes it. Now we’re also going to have the Nickleback Pavillion sponsored by Nickleback. For obvious reasons, Nickleback will be drawn to this team. They’ll want to put on tons of concerts for the team free of charge because of our sponsorship with them. This will result in Chad Kroger building a somewhat illegal pavilion with his own two hands and performing tons of concerts there. Because he’s nice no one will tell him not to and it’s just going to stay there until it inevitability collapses. New Butchers stadium is gonna be great, can’t wait.
19. Coming to CBS this fall, The Tessie Garciaparra show. The show will be told in a style where each season is a brand new story for each season. So season one is going to start out fairly basic like a basic family comedy does. Just some lighthearted drama involving relationships and friends not understanding each other before they all hug it out and things are perfect. This season will feature a crazy comic relief neighbor (played by Jason Garciaparra) who will be the best character according to all the fan polls. The second season will involve Tessie fighting aliens who come to invade Earth and destroy Luxembourg. The series gets a lot more serious here, as there’s actual drama and seriously tense moments that result in a lot of tears. The comic relief neighbor is used too much and becomes the series most hated character according to all the fan polls. The third season is the experimental season, showing how Tessie is struggling as a movie director despite never showing any interest in the profession. She directs some awful movie called “Jaws 5: 2 Jaws 2 Furious” before getting arrested for tax fraud in Tibet. The comic relief neighbor is written out of the show without any explanation or acknowledgement he existed.
31. WBSL PT Affiliate
17. Brand new Butchers stadium is being built and there’s a lot of new additions that we’re going to see. First of all to fulfill the impending arrival of Tessie Garciaparra, we’re going to see the installation of a private quesadilla factory. Tessie is addicted to quesadillas and has been to rehab several times for this issue but the team will enable her because they’re the source of her power. Second addition to the stadium will be the Tree Gelbman memorial axe throwing center. Tree is alive just currently in locations unknown, so the memorial center will be maybe moot if she turns up at the stadium and trashes it. Now we’re also going to have the Nickleback Pavillion sponsored by Nickleback. For obvious reasons, Nickleback will be drawn to this team. They’ll want to put on tons of concerts for the team free of charge because of our sponsorship with them. This will result in Chad Kroger building a somewhat illegal pavilion with his own two hands and performing tons of concerts there. Because he’s nice no one will tell him not to and it’s just going to stay there until it inevitability collapses. New Butchers stadium is gonna be great, can’t wait.
19. Coming to CBS this fall, The Tessie Garciaparra show. The show will be told in a style where each season is a brand new story for each season. So season one is going to start out fairly basic like a basic family comedy does. Just some lighthearted drama involving relationships and friends not understanding each other before they all hug it out and things are perfect. This season will feature a crazy comic relief neighbor (played by Jason Garciaparra) who will be the best character according to all the fan polls. The second season will involve Tessie fighting aliens who come to invade Earth and destroy Luxembourg. The series gets a lot more serious here, as there’s actual drama and seriously tense moments that result in a lot of tears. The comic relief neighbor is used too much and becomes the series most hated character according to all the fan polls. The third season is the experimental season, showing how Tessie is struggling as a movie director despite never showing any interest in the profession. She directs some awful movie called “Jaws 5: 2 Jaws 2 Furious” before getting arrested for tax fraud in Tibet. The comic relief neighbor is written out of the show without any explanation or acknowledgement he existed.
31. WBSL PT Affiliate
"You relieve the same day over and over again, you kind of start to see who you really are."