4. “Sim gonna sim” is a popular expression in the league. Write about teams that have been graced by the sim gods and had amazing performances despite statistical odds, and/or about teams that were considered favorites but may have dealt with some bad sim luck that hampered their efforts. How much of an impact did it have on their season(s)?
The Chicago Butchers entered the season having faced some of the worst luck in the league over the last few seasons. Their window slamming shut with regression at key positions and losses in trades and free agency compounded with some brutal "sim gonna sim" losses over the last season. Whether it was last second kick return touchdowns beating out game winning field goals from Sam Sidekick, terrible AI clock management in winnable games, or just straight upsets out of nowhere in strongly favored games, Chicago was on the wrong end of some brutal random number rolls to the point where it was commonly recognized across the league.
Entering this season Chicago was routinely at the bottom of the predictions, a long shot for the playoffs. Young quarterback Kazimir Oles Jr. had a lot of growth ahead of him despite the weapons around him. Mike Hunt, Luca Scabbia, and Vincent Sharpei Jr. made for an acceptable group of receivers while Nick L. Back and Madison Hayes provided additional support to the young quarterback. The latter of those two, Hayes, was battling her own demons and criticism of routine underperformance having struggled to improve on a rookie of the year campaign just a few seasons ago. Her touchdowns were falling season over season and her ball security was becoming a notable problem.
Speaking of underperformance, the defensive end of Chicago was coming off of one of the worst outings in the league last season, their 450 points allowed betraying the talent on paper. While some of that was due to offensive struggles, the roster as a whole massively struggled to produce last season, capping off one of the worst campaigns relative to talent the league had seen recently. The team won just two home games in route to a disappointing six win season.
Enter Season 31, where the sim would once again sim. Oles Jr. protected the ball well en route to a 30-14 touchdown to interception split, his ratio puting himself into the top half of quarterbacks. That's not to say the Butchers aired it out though, their running backs and offensive line rolled high regularly with Madison Hayes returning to form with her first thousand yard season and multiple explosive games with a 5 TD game against Baltimore and a 3 TD quarter against Yellowknife. With the emergence of Rejoignez LordreSombre as a legitimate change of pace back, Chicago was one of the top three rushing offenses in the league regardless of how you cut it. On the defensive side, Chicago exploded with good luck as they led the league in turnovers, this good fortune catapulting them to the fewest points against this season, second fewest yards allowed this season, and a third ranked rushing defense. In an engine where time management routinely screwed over Chicago in the past, possession was firmly in favor of Chicago in most games, sim rolls paying massive dividends.
The sim results would still show high variance, as the sim simmed the Butchers to a brutal 3 home wins, the worst among playoff teams but a league best 7 road wins. This gap is the pinnacle of "sim gonna sim" as the team that routinely had the biggest variance in sim vibes continued to do so. Home games, generally a positive for teams, were feared in Chicago, where being on the road for the wild card game was legitimately a blessing for a Chicago team that walked in to every opposing stadium and dominated - except for random losses to the Liberty. The Butchers lost both games to the Liberty this season, though the road game was closer, and their other loss to a non-playoff team was also to Yellowknife on the road.
"Sim gonna sim" is a terrifying force, after dominating on the road all season while also struggling at home, the Butchers - with a two win and five loss record at home - had to come back to the Windy City for a final win and in game against Berlin who had their own three road wins. In peak sim fashion, the original game wouldn't even hit the index, but the Butchers would triumph - defense and offense both rolling high. This win set up a road wildcard game against Sarasota, their six home wins, league best scoring offense, and elite run defense. Everything Sailfish looked to counter the Butchers unreasonably hot season.
The Butchers were on the road though.
Their rookie quarterback knew how to protect the ball.
Their defense was the league's best at forcing turnovers, winning short fields, and keeping offenses off the field.
They were outgained on offense.
They had fewer first downs.
They had more penalties.
But they would win the turnover battle 3 -1, with two additional forced fumbles recovered by the Sailfish.
They won time of possession with 33 minutes.
They would win, on the road, 23-13.
Sim gonna sim.
811 words
The Chicago Butchers entered the season having faced some of the worst luck in the league over the last few seasons. Their window slamming shut with regression at key positions and losses in trades and free agency compounded with some brutal "sim gonna sim" losses over the last season. Whether it was last second kick return touchdowns beating out game winning field goals from Sam Sidekick, terrible AI clock management in winnable games, or just straight upsets out of nowhere in strongly favored games, Chicago was on the wrong end of some brutal random number rolls to the point where it was commonly recognized across the league.
Entering this season Chicago was routinely at the bottom of the predictions, a long shot for the playoffs. Young quarterback Kazimir Oles Jr. had a lot of growth ahead of him despite the weapons around him. Mike Hunt, Luca Scabbia, and Vincent Sharpei Jr. made for an acceptable group of receivers while Nick L. Back and Madison Hayes provided additional support to the young quarterback. The latter of those two, Hayes, was battling her own demons and criticism of routine underperformance having struggled to improve on a rookie of the year campaign just a few seasons ago. Her touchdowns were falling season over season and her ball security was becoming a notable problem.
Speaking of underperformance, the defensive end of Chicago was coming off of one of the worst outings in the league last season, their 450 points allowed betraying the talent on paper. While some of that was due to offensive struggles, the roster as a whole massively struggled to produce last season, capping off one of the worst campaigns relative to talent the league had seen recently. The team won just two home games in route to a disappointing six win season.
Enter Season 31, where the sim would once again sim. Oles Jr. protected the ball well en route to a 30-14 touchdown to interception split, his ratio puting himself into the top half of quarterbacks. That's not to say the Butchers aired it out though, their running backs and offensive line rolled high regularly with Madison Hayes returning to form with her first thousand yard season and multiple explosive games with a 5 TD game against Baltimore and a 3 TD quarter against Yellowknife. With the emergence of Rejoignez LordreSombre as a legitimate change of pace back, Chicago was one of the top three rushing offenses in the league regardless of how you cut it. On the defensive side, Chicago exploded with good luck as they led the league in turnovers, this good fortune catapulting them to the fewest points against this season, second fewest yards allowed this season, and a third ranked rushing defense. In an engine where time management routinely screwed over Chicago in the past, possession was firmly in favor of Chicago in most games, sim rolls paying massive dividends.
The sim results would still show high variance, as the sim simmed the Butchers to a brutal 3 home wins, the worst among playoff teams but a league best 7 road wins. This gap is the pinnacle of "sim gonna sim" as the team that routinely had the biggest variance in sim vibes continued to do so. Home games, generally a positive for teams, were feared in Chicago, where being on the road for the wild card game was legitimately a blessing for a Chicago team that walked in to every opposing stadium and dominated - except for random losses to the Liberty. The Butchers lost both games to the Liberty this season, though the road game was closer, and their other loss to a non-playoff team was also to Yellowknife on the road.
"Sim gonna sim" is a terrifying force, after dominating on the road all season while also struggling at home, the Butchers - with a two win and five loss record at home - had to come back to the Windy City for a final win and in game against Berlin who had their own three road wins. In peak sim fashion, the original game wouldn't even hit the index, but the Butchers would triumph - defense and offense both rolling high. This win set up a road wildcard game against Sarasota, their six home wins, league best scoring offense, and elite run defense. Everything Sailfish looked to counter the Butchers unreasonably hot season.
The Butchers were on the road though.
Their rookie quarterback knew how to protect the ball.
Their defense was the league's best at forcing turnovers, winning short fields, and keeping offenses off the field.
They were outgained on offense.
They had fewer first downs.
They had more penalties.
But they would win the turnover battle 3 -1, with two additional forced fumbles recovered by the Sailfish.
They won time of possession with 33 minutes.
They would win, on the road, 23-13.
Sim gonna sim.
811 words
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