Task #4
Okay, this should not be too difficult given everything that has transpired over the last few seasons in Arizona. We have been the best team in the league by some margin at points — arguably for a couple of seasons. However, all of that has been for naught, as we currently have nothing but one ultimus appearance to our name. Initially, Arizona’s edge in S27 was based around sim knowledge that our fearless leaders had pieced together with a lot of hard work and burning of wax. This took a near .500 team in S26 to a 11-5 record in the regular season. Interestingly, S26 actually saw five of the seven teams in the ASFC finish with a 9-7 record. That’s not something you see every season.
Anyway, S27 was the dawn of a new era for Arizona. Finishing the season at 11-5 was a statement for the rest of the league, who at this point were mildly aware of the knowledge that Arizona’s leadership were building, that would hopefully lead to a competitive team for a number of seasons. To date, this has indeed been the case. Arizona’s record from S27 to S31 has been 57-19 in the regular season. Those are Bill Belichick level numbers. Nonetheless, after storming through the regular season in commanding fashion, Arizona were obliterated in their first game in the playoffs by New Orleans Secondline. Now, I’m privy to the numbers on this one and I can tell you that this result was as statistically unlikely as they come but whatever, these things happen, right? Anomalies are just a fact we have to get used to.
Next up, Season 28 comes around. Again, a commanding performance in the regular season with a 12-4 record which was matched in the NSFC by the Berlin Fire Salamanders. That gave Arizona a strong argument for once again being the best team in the league — especially when you consider their points differential. Unfortunately, the ASFC conference game was to be against the Austin Copperheads, who squeezed out a 16-13 victory over Arizona. That’s a little frustrating but Austin has always been Arizona’s bogey team, so anything could have happened here and on this occasion, the Outlaws came up short. An unfortunate result and we’ve fallen short at the penultimate hurdle.
At this point, the folks in Arizona are a little frustrated and rightfully so. Nonetheless, knowing that they would likely be amongst the league's elite heading into season 29, spirits remained relatively high. After dominating their conference, once again, Arizona finished the regular season with an 11-5 record. This time around, everyone was sure that they stood a great chance at taking the Ultimus home with them. Arizona would face the New York Silverbacks in the conference game, who had seen themselves get a respectable 10-6 record in the regular season, so they were no slouches themselves. Of course, given that they were playing Arizona in the playoffs, that means they would essentially be on steroids for the entirety of the game and hand Arizona another loss in the playoffs, 34-7. Fantastic. Still, there’s always next season, right?
No. No, there’s not “next season”. Despite having the greatest offense that the league has ever seen, racking up an absurd amount of points (549) and keeping points against below 300 — which is a phenomenal achievement in itself — on their way to a 14-2 record, this was not to be Arizona’s year either. While Arizona completely dispatched of the Silverbacks in the conference game with a resounding 33-0 victory, which felt like vengeance for Season 29, they would then get crushed in the Ultimus by the Sarasota Sailfish. It was actually quite amusing to watch this game on stream, as in the first half there was a play where a Sarasota player literally ran half the length of the field with numerous Arizona players seemingly on their back - either refusing to make the tackle or simply not being able to due to some sort of magical force field. I really didn’t even need to watch the rest of the game. I know the sim well enough to know that this was a sign of the game’s intent to stick it in whatever orifice Arizona had available. The game ended 27-10 and let me tell you, it wasn’t even close.
Then we arrive in Season 31. We were certainly amongst the highest TPE teams in the league and still had everything we needed to be a success. But no. At one point, we were 3-5. Three and five, ladies and gentlemen. Based on our testing at an earlier point in the season, we were somewhere in the region of 200 to 1 odds to have been in the position we were in. That’s not just bad luck, that’s a damn curse. Sure, we clawed it all back and made the playoffs but take a wild guess at what happened once we were there? Yup. You guessed it.
In conclusion, screw the damn sim.
Okay, this should not be too difficult given everything that has transpired over the last few seasons in Arizona. We have been the best team in the league by some margin at points — arguably for a couple of seasons. However, all of that has been for naught, as we currently have nothing but one ultimus appearance to our name. Initially, Arizona’s edge in S27 was based around sim knowledge that our fearless leaders had pieced together with a lot of hard work and burning of wax. This took a near .500 team in S26 to a 11-5 record in the regular season. Interestingly, S26 actually saw five of the seven teams in the ASFC finish with a 9-7 record. That’s not something you see every season.
Anyway, S27 was the dawn of a new era for Arizona. Finishing the season at 11-5 was a statement for the rest of the league, who at this point were mildly aware of the knowledge that Arizona’s leadership were building, that would hopefully lead to a competitive team for a number of seasons. To date, this has indeed been the case. Arizona’s record from S27 to S31 has been 57-19 in the regular season. Those are Bill Belichick level numbers. Nonetheless, after storming through the regular season in commanding fashion, Arizona were obliterated in their first game in the playoffs by New Orleans Secondline. Now, I’m privy to the numbers on this one and I can tell you that this result was as statistically unlikely as they come but whatever, these things happen, right? Anomalies are just a fact we have to get used to.
Next up, Season 28 comes around. Again, a commanding performance in the regular season with a 12-4 record which was matched in the NSFC by the Berlin Fire Salamanders. That gave Arizona a strong argument for once again being the best team in the league — especially when you consider their points differential. Unfortunately, the ASFC conference game was to be against the Austin Copperheads, who squeezed out a 16-13 victory over Arizona. That’s a little frustrating but Austin has always been Arizona’s bogey team, so anything could have happened here and on this occasion, the Outlaws came up short. An unfortunate result and we’ve fallen short at the penultimate hurdle.
At this point, the folks in Arizona are a little frustrated and rightfully so. Nonetheless, knowing that they would likely be amongst the league's elite heading into season 29, spirits remained relatively high. After dominating their conference, once again, Arizona finished the regular season with an 11-5 record. This time around, everyone was sure that they stood a great chance at taking the Ultimus home with them. Arizona would face the New York Silverbacks in the conference game, who had seen themselves get a respectable 10-6 record in the regular season, so they were no slouches themselves. Of course, given that they were playing Arizona in the playoffs, that means they would essentially be on steroids for the entirety of the game and hand Arizona another loss in the playoffs, 34-7. Fantastic. Still, there’s always next season, right?
No. No, there’s not “next season”. Despite having the greatest offense that the league has ever seen, racking up an absurd amount of points (549) and keeping points against below 300 — which is a phenomenal achievement in itself — on their way to a 14-2 record, this was not to be Arizona’s year either. While Arizona completely dispatched of the Silverbacks in the conference game with a resounding 33-0 victory, which felt like vengeance for Season 29, they would then get crushed in the Ultimus by the Sarasota Sailfish. It was actually quite amusing to watch this game on stream, as in the first half there was a play where a Sarasota player literally ran half the length of the field with numerous Arizona players seemingly on their back - either refusing to make the tackle or simply not being able to due to some sort of magical force field. I really didn’t even need to watch the rest of the game. I know the sim well enough to know that this was a sign of the game’s intent to stick it in whatever orifice Arizona had available. The game ended 27-10 and let me tell you, it wasn’t even close.
Then we arrive in Season 31. We were certainly amongst the highest TPE teams in the league and still had everything we needed to be a success. But no. At one point, we were 3-5. Three and five, ladies and gentlemen. Based on our testing at an earlier point in the season, we were somewhere in the region of 200 to 1 odds to have been in the position we were in. That’s not just bad luck, that’s a damn curse. Sure, we clawed it all back and made the playoffs but take a wild guess at what happened once we were there? Yup. You guessed it.
In conclusion, screw the damn sim.
Code:
835 words