Quote:8. With awards season upon us, make up an award for your player win for something not on the football field? (300 words)
Obviously the award is for the best ostrich racer. Remi wins this without breaking a sweat. You talk about his size being a factor, and that he was much smaller when he raced previously... did you not consider that he could trim back down to his previous size? Hm? Come on, this is simple stuff.
What's that? I can't prove he's the best? Okay, well how about we hold an actual ostrich racing tournament to decide it? You totally can do this to decide the award. Whatever format you like, even. It won't matter. Because, really, how can anyone else possibly win?
Let me break it down for you:
Does anyone else have several years of experience in the field? No.
Does anyone else have the technical expertise required for ostrich racing? Probably not.
Does anyone else have extensive gentlemanly training in the equestrian arts, which conveniently carry over very nicely into the field of ostrich racing? Almost certainly not.
Does anyone else have experience firing a pistol or rifle from horseback -- which is much like firing from ostrich back -- in order to eliminate their competition mid-race? Seems unlikely.
Does anyone else have connections with ostrich breeding stables, to ensure they get access to the best racing ostriches? Don't make me laugh.
Does anyone else have a crippling addiction to drugs that enhance their performance in ostrich racing -- which is notoriously unregulated in such areas -- and an endocrine system conditioned to work with those drugs to maximise their beneficial effects? I would be remarkably surprised.
Does anyone else have connections to two organised crime syndicates, both of which operate in multiple continents, and would quite easily collude with them to ensure victory based on the potential profit from illegal gambling on the side? Hardly a possibility.
Look, I could go on, but I think I've made my point. The bottom line here is that Remington Aloysius Musgrave-Smythe, adopted son of King Sebastian I of Great Britain, is the greatest ostrich racer in the ISFL today, and, dare I say, ever.
Quote:19. Written Option: If your player had a show starring them, what would the plot be? (150 words)
There are so many options here but if I stop and think about it for a second... it's easy. It would be a comedy-drama show about a drug-addicted financier who secretly races ostriches on the side. Art imitates life innit? Call it uh... Lifestyles Ostrich and Poor or some other similarly contrived pun that doesn't actually work.
Naturally there would have to be a witty sidekick who provides the drugs but says they don't want to, and a flawed mentor -- would be a little on the nose to use Remi's adoptive father, and possibly an international incident waiting to happen, so use Antoine Delacour instead; he's troubled by his mistakes with past mentees or something, I dunno. Didn't he literally fight Lennox Garnett that one time?
What else? Oh a love interest. Honestly this depends on what you're going for and whether you've hit diversity quotas. Those are things on American TV, right? So uh... Tessa Thompson if you want strong black woman (also hits the LGBTQIA+ demographic), Gugu Mbatha-Raw if you want posh lady with delicate beauty (also black woman), or just cast Monica Bellucci as the aging heiress widow since she's European so that's automatically classy. Also women will want to be her, men will want to be with her. Winner. No I am not just listing famous women I find attractive, that would be crude.
Quote:30. Affiliate PT from either SHL/PBE/WSBL. The Weeks must match with the timeframe of this Offseason Task. And you may only use a max of 1.SHL Affiliate (academydropout)
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