if anyone is going to be running the show next season, it is undoubtedly Arizona Outlaws prospect / Portland Pythons player, offensive lineman smooth green girnch, as he is a mean green blocking machine who defending players will learn quickly that you should not even bother trying to get around. Much like how the real girnch is known for stealing Christmas, smooth girnch prides himself on stealing paychecks from defenders who hope to get a sack on the Portland Pythons quarterback. Already one game into the season playing in the DSFL again, girnch got a stunning 8 pancakes, just stuffing any attempt to have a good time and showing just how many sizes too small his heart is when it comes to pulverizing opposition. Last season, girnch had 44 pancakes on the season, making this early performance already a good sign that he could not only improve on an impressive rookie season, but be the best offensive lineman in the league as a whole. (163 words)
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