Coaches always tell defensive backs to "be a goldfish", which means have a short memory and don't dwell on your mistakes. Minnesota CB SuperNintendo Chalmers is great at this. He doesn't think about his mistakes, or much else really. He mostly thinks about his next plate of chicken nuggets and what cartoons he is going to watch when he gets home. So it begs the question, what offensive position would a player with this kind of raw potential be best suited for? Why, the most important one of them all: QB. Don't you hate it when QBs try to do lame stuff like read a defense or call an audible? Offensive coordinators sure do. If only there was a perfect QB who could just do as he's told. And if doing as he's told leads to him throwing a pick six or nearly getting his head removed by a blitzing linebacker? We, just be a goldfish. SuperNintendo Chalmers is ready to line up under center. You'll just need to show him where that is. (174 words)
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