Our locker room is quiet as a mouse. That is until our captain, the mouse, speaks. He is a toxic user known for his undying love for cheese. In fact he loves cheese so much he forces us to eat it after the games. Players who perform better get to eat less, and players who perform worse... well... you don't want to know how much babybels they have to stuff in their mouth. And don't you dare tell the cheese mouse guy that you're lactose intolerant. You don't want to know what happened to Ray Baker after he missed a field goal in the locker room. The coaching staff is too scared to stand up to this mouse called Cotswald, who's favorite cheese happens to be roquefort (gross). I implore any potential draftees or free agents to take a closer look at the Honolulu Locker room before you decide you want to come here. It's not for the feint? of heart.
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