(S25) - Ultimus Week

[nunccoepi]

11) History is not always kind to the losers. Tell the story of a team who you view as an all-time great but who did not win the title game. Why was that team so dominant? What were the major focal points of their offense and defense, and who were the star players? What makes them so special? What was the reason that they ultimately fell short of immortal greatness?

Ok, so I know that this might not be that controversial, but its relatively recent and easy to write about, so I'm going to argue that the S24 Colorado Yeti were an all time great team that doesn't get the respect that it deserves. Like I said, no one really denies that that Colorado Yeti are a force to be reckoned with in the league right now (even to the point where some FAs have said they don't want to do there due to stacking it too much in favor of the team), but I think the S25 success of the yeti (first in the league and locked up home field advantage throughout the playoffs) really speaks to how great of a team they were just the season prior. But, we should start at the beginning. The beginning of S24 actually saw the expansion of the league to include two more teams. The Colorado Yeti, in fact, lost of one of GMs. So there is an argument to be made that the Yeti would be particularly hurt by expansion. Moreover, they should have been hurt by the fact that they just had better players to lose than other teams did. Yet, the yeti decided to play hardball and even traded away one of their expansion protection slots to the Colorado Butchers. Luckily for the Colorado Yeti, they didn't seem to miss a beat when it came to their performance on the field. They cruised to a 14-2 record which ended up being the best in the team history up to that point (and still is). The Yeti had the best scoring offense in the league and the second best defense in the league. Not only that, only one other team had more than 9 wins on the entire season (conference opponents, sarasota sailfish). Because this locked in home field advantage through every playoff game, only a fool would have bet against the yeti to win it all last season. This would have given the Yeti their second Ultimus in three seasons, but you already know the result. The yeti cruised their way into the big game, but the yeti just couldn't get it done. The san Jose Sabercats held the Colorado yeti to only 12 points, just their second lowest point total in a game all season. It was truly a shocking win as pregame test sims had the colorado yeti winning the Ultimus more than 80% of the time. Needless to say, the Yeti had this one stolen from them and they're back this season to take what is rightfully theirs.

16) Create an argument for your own player, or for someone else on your team, as to why they should be nominated for awards. Lay out their stats or compare them to other contenders. Make a convincing case.

Immanuel Blackstone should absolutely be nominated for DEotY again this season. I know that the voters may be tired of seeing his name on the ballot at this point because I believe that this would be the 5 season in a row that he will appear there (that's every season he's been in the league). I will go through his stats and compare them to others, but I'll admit that although I think he performed well enough to be nominated, I don't think he should DEotY for the fourth season in a row. Basically, the first think I look to is the bread and butter of defensive ends: TFLs. Blackstone churned out 17 TFLs this season which is very respectable and the third most. Notably, Nero Alexander had a monster season, netting 23 TFLs which is second best all time for a DE in one season. That also puts Nero Alexander as the all time career TFL leader. No doubt Alexander is nominated, and I think this alone should win the award for Alexander. Next, we turn to regular tackles. Blackstone got himself 64, which was second most in the league. But the best again? Alexander with 68. Then sacks. Blackstone did just ok there with 5. There are other more luck-based stats too that you can look at like blocked P/XP/FG or safeties. Notably, of the top Defensive ends this season, Blackstone is the only one to get one of those specialty stats with a blocked punt. I think this also helps Blackstone to get the nomination, but ultimately Nero Alexander should get this DEotY.

21) Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league. Graphics only.

@shadyshoelace

[Crunk]

8) I would like to make the case for L'Gazzy Burfict, the London Royals standout linebacker, for the Linebacker and Defensive Player of the Year awards. With a game left in the regular season, Burfict is second in the league in tackles (129), first in the league in sacks (11), tied third (tied first for linebackers) in forced fumbles (2) and tied tenth (first for linebackers) in pass deflections (9).

Do I need to continue? I would hope not, but for point task purposes I shall. Burfict has shown the ability to stop the run, rush the passer, and cover the pass to an elite level. His athleticism combined with defensive instincts and a nastiness - he seems to take any yards given up personally - make for a truly formidable player. The Royals could pretty much play him anywhere in the defense (except possibly defensive tackle) and he would be great.

Let's have a deeper look at those stats. Burfict gave away only two penalties all season, so he wasn't hurting his team at the same time as helping them. He found the backfield for a sack or a TFL in 9 of the 13 games played so far. He has missed only 6 tackles in the 1,575 snaps he has played so far this season, giving him a tackle success rate of 95.6%. He made double digit tackles in 9 of the 13 games so far.

So, who is his competition at linebacker? Richard Leaking of the Dallas Birddogs is a tackling machine, but with only 2 sacks and one pass deflection, he can't compete with Burfict's versatility. Donald McBobby's 10 sacks nearly match Burfict's 11, but McBobby has 40 fewer tackles. Thomas Rose of Kansas City and Vincent Jones of Tijuana have both had great seasons, but neither has a serious case for winning an award when compared to L'Gazzy Burfict. You know what? The more I look at it, the more I realise this one should be open and shut.

What about for Defensive Player of the Year? At cornerback, Hoffman, Anabender and Blackwell all had great years with 4 picks each, but one doesn't truly stand out above the others. Three picks for two touchdowns mean that Moe Skeeter of Portland is the most likely free safety to win, but three isn't an elite number of interceptions for a season. Tony Yeboah notched 10 sacks from the strong safety position... that's actually kind of nuts. As for linemen, Primo Berto and Ernest Lover both had outstanding seasons, and should win the awards at their respective positions, but this one looks slightly out of their reach. To summarise, it's closer, but it's still Burfict.


20) Rather than doing this the usual way, let me present two linebackers to you in stats form. I won't list their full stats, just how they compared to each other.

Player A: +2 FF, +2FR, +3 Sacks, +2 Pass Defenses
Player B: +64 Tackles, +1 TFL, +2 Interceptions

Now, just hang on for a second. I know which player I would rather have playing linebacker, but let me finish my thought. I would say the forced fumbles and recoveries roughly equate to the two interceptions, as both ended plays and forced turnovers. Cancelling those against each other, we get

Player A: +3 Sacks, +2 Pass Defenses
Player B: +64 Tackles, +1 TFL

So, with turnovers accounted for, what next? Well, what's the difference between a sack and a TFL? It's on the quarterback, obviously, but what advantage does a sack confer that a TFL doesn't? Literally nothing. They have the same outcome. Another bit of cancelling gives...

Player A: +2 Sacks, +2 Pass Defenses
Player B: +64 Tackles

I can't reduce this any further. Which player would you rather have?

If you said Player A, seek help.

Yet that's exactly the choice that the voters made when they gave Alejandro Chainbreaker (Player A) the Season 23 DSFL Linebacker of the Year and Defensive Player of the Year awards over Juan Domine (Player B) in a season where Domine went sixth on the all time single season tackles list. Blaming all the voters would be crass, though - Domine got votes on all but three of the ballots for both awards, with one team failing to mention him on either ballot. I'll leave you to tactically guess which team that was.

25) Some cool activities (and the Arizona Outlaws that would win them) are:

Competitive eating. Man - if Plop Miller wasn’t a defensive tackle, he would probably be doing this for a living already. Arizona’s beloved clogger of toilets and running lanes would smash the competition here. “But Crunk,” I hear you say, “competitive eaters aren’t usually big guys!” OK, but imagine a man mountain like Miller learning the hot dog water dip technique and training his stomach first. Joey Chestnut wouldn’t stand a chance - neither would the league.

An ultramarathon. Clearly all ISFL players are elite athletes (just kidding, linemen are fatties) and many could put up decent marathon times with a bit of effort. But what about the extreme mental and physical torture of an 100 mile race? Who could possibly stand up to that? Step forward Jay Cue, the king of mental torment. Interception after interception, Cue has no concept of what stopping is. That level of drunk stubbornness would see him cruise to victory.

MMA - Why not get rid of the ball and just let our boys fight it out? Defensive backs may cower in fear at the thought of physical contact, but I think most of the league would be up for this one. You need speed, strength, technique and the burning desire to hurt people. That’s right, it’s Galf Wilf, the nastiest defensive player in the league. Wilf would sack a quarterback if he saw one in the street - that’s just the way he’s wired - he’d have no problem taking down a Baltimore cartoon player in a gi.

[slothfacekilla]

Tier 1 (800+ words):

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The league has a rich and fascinating history, and our perspectives on it differ from person to person. In 800 words or more, describe any significant non-playoffs moment in ISFL or DSFL history, whether you were around for it or not. Describe the context, the significant members, and the events. What exactly made this event so famous (or infamous) and why does it deserve to be remembered?

Gather around everyone so I can tell you the story about the greatest tackler ever to play in the ISFL: Quenton Bode.  How did Bode get to become so great that he broke the tackling record this regular season?  Well, it was quite a spectacular ride to see a polar bear excel enough at football to break the all time tackles record of 1275 tackles.  So sit back and let me recount the rich and fascinating history of Quenton Bode.

Coming out of the University of Nebraska, Quenton Bode was a hot prospect for the upcoming DSFL draft.  Bode was able to put together a string of strong games as a member of the Grizzlies in the Prospect Bowl in front of the DSFL scouts, and even impressed front offices with his media answers during the Prospect Bowl.  With a lot of talent in the Season 14 DSFL draft, the San Antonio Marshals grabbed an absolute steal of a draft pick in Quenton Bode with their third round selection of the talented polar bear.  It was safe to say that the people of San Antonio were a bit shocked to see a polar bear roaming their streets at first.  But quickly the Marshals fans knew Bode was the real deal on the football field.  After a marvelous first season in the DSFL that included an interception touchdown for the rookie linebacker, Quenton Bode saw his draft stock soaring.  Many of the draft pundits pegged Bode to go very early in the draft, and they were not disappointed when they saw the New Orleans Second Line draft Quenton Bode with the second overall pick of the Season 15 ISFL draft.

The New Orleans Second Line fans quickly warmed up to the young polar bear just as the San Antonio faithful had in the DSFL.  Bode went on a whirlwind media tour that capped off with him joining the big club in the ISFL (then named the NSFL) right away next season.  Quenton Bode immediately announced his presence to the league in his rookie season, amassing 108 total tackles in his first year.  It should have been obvious then that there was something special about Bode.  In addition, Bode added 3 tackles for loss, 3 sacks, and an interception showing that he was not just a one trick pony.  This polar bear was going to be something special, which was important to the New Orleans Second Line as a franchise.  They were in a streak of lean years, and they were only able to finish the season with two wins in Bode's rookie season.

In his sophomore season, Bode and the Second Line saw their win total rise to six.  Bode began playing with his fellow draftee this season: Johnny Slothface who was taken by the Second Line at the third overall pick.  The pair formed a fearsome duo that season, and Bode was able to reach 108 tackles exactly for the second season in a row.  Bode was a huge reason for New Orleans' jump in their win total and the future was looking bright for the team and Bode.  The following season saw Quenton really shine as he led the entire NSFL with 125 tackles.  In only his third season in the league, Bode was already at the top of his craft and only getting better.

In season 19, the Second Line as a team were able to obtain a winning record at 8-5, a true sign that Bode had impacted the franchise with his strong play.  Bode sacrificed some of his tackling stats that season but still reached 96 on the season.  His 2 forced fumbles, 5 sacks, 1 tackle for loss, 2 interceptions, and 7 pass defences show that he was doing much more when he wasn't tackling ball carriers all over the field.  This success would all come together in season 21 when the New Orleans Second Line won the Ultimus.  Bode was the leading tackler for the Second Line with 9 stops in the championship game.  Now Quenton finally had a ring on his polar bear paw to back up all of his personal glory.

All of this brings us to this season, specifically to week 11 when the Second Line were at home against the Auston Copperheads.  Bode came into the game needing two tackles to tie the all time career tackling record, and three to break it.  Everyone before the game could feel the record in the air and it was tense in the crowd. Bode did not disappoint and put on a vintage performance to break the record, amassing 10 total tackles and a sack to help propel New Orleans to a 34-20 victory.  The crowd went insane at home, and as the team celebrated the great achievement everyone knew that Bode had cemented his place in the record books when he quickly tackled Zoe Watts after a reception.  Bode should now have 1332 career tackles, smashing the previous record of 1275 after his insane 153 tackles on the season.  Now each week he plays he will only further his legacy, and he will be remembered among the greats that played in the ISFL.

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861 words

[KC15]

SHL Affiliate CW Post - 2.5 TPE

16) Create an argument for your own player, or for someone else on your team, as to why they should be nominated for awards. Lay out their stats or compare them to other contenders. Make a convincing case. - 2.5 TPE

Once again, I will make a case for Jed Podolak of the Honolulu Hahaluas to earn an award at WR.  This season he tied with just two other players for first in the entire league with a total of 15 TDs on the season.  That is just one shy of a 1 TD per game pace and this shows that Jed is a money player who can be counted on in the clutch moments of a game.  He knows how to get open when it matters most.  On top of that, one of the other two receivers who accomplished this lofty goal plays for the Colorado Yeti.  It is easier to score TDs when you play for a 13-3 powerhouse than it is when you play for an 8-8 solid, but not yet great squad.

In addition, Podolak wracked up the 9th most yards receiving on the way to his 15 TDs.  And of those 8 other receivers ahead of him in total yards, Jed averaged at or above (or slightly below by .1) 4 of them.  This points to Podolak’s amazing efficiency and this efficiency deserves a nod from the league.

If this doesn’t qualify Jed Podolak for top honors, it surely puts him in the conversation when the best WRs are being discussed.

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215 words

27) The league is prone to change. Reflect on a past change in either the ISFL or DSFL that significantly impacted something - be it a rules change, an expansion or contraction, or even a complete rebranding. What were the effects of this change, and how has it shaken the status quo?  2.5 TPE

It is hard for me to get away from the expansion that brought the Sarasota Sailfish and Honolulu Hahaluas into the ISF as a change that has meant a great deal to the league.  This expansion brought new opportunity to a number of players who had a hard time shining on their old team, but became stars on their new one.

One of those players is my own player Jed Podolak.  Jed was on his way to becoming more important on the Second Line, but during his time in New Orleans, it felt like the team had a definite strategy of run first and pass only if needed.  Honolulu had more of a tendency to air it out – especially after his first season with the club – which played into the strengths of Podolak.  And it certainly rejuvenated my own interest and commitment to the league and it is engaged users that create a great experience for everyone.

In addition, Honolulu and Sarasota brought another pair of competitive teams into the league which made everyone up their game a notch.  That’s hard to do as the 3-13 and 4-12 records of Berlin and New York attest to.  In just their second seasons, Sarasota went 8-8 and Honolulu 7-9 pushing the other teams to continue their engagement in order to keep up.

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220 words

[3lewsers]

1 Tier 3 Task

SHL Affiliate PT


Task 21




Task 17




Task 23

[Starboy]

Tier 2, Task 7

The Sarasota Sailfish find themselves on the hot track in the playoffs with a possible Ultimus in view based on their current string of wins that have all been quite impressive. Many predict that they could end up on the banner as Ultimus champions but the drive to the playoffs started long before the end of the season like other teams. For how Sarasota got to the playoffs, we have to go back to week seven against the Baltimore Hawks that had been still seen as a team that would clock in another disappointing season. Things seemed to be looking that way for the Hawks sitting at 3-3 but the Sailfish were not playing up to their level at the beginning of the season either. With only two wins in the first six weeks, Sarasota would have to start the winning quick or they would find themselves competing for a top draft pick. In Week 7, the Hawks came in and demolished the Sailfish. The 40-21 score was the last straw for the Sailfish trying out what they had been doing in the first half of the season, and the team came together with a common goal in mind, just win. The rest of the schedule was not easy and showed many rematches against teams that had beaten the luckless Sailfish prior, but somehow the Sarasota dreamers managed to burn through the rest of their schedule without a single loss. They came close on many occasions and two huge games of theirs were in the last three weeks against the Butchers, Wraiths, and Hawks. A loss to one of them would shake up the NSFC playoffs and a loss to two of them would cause even more chaos and put Sarasota in a spot where they would have to battle for third. On the back of their MVP caliber quarterback, Dexter Banks, and their clutch defense, Sarasota did not have to worry about a single mistake as they won all of their final games and kept themselves in second place in the NSFC. The foundation of the S25 Sarasota team comes from the top at Dexter Banks II who played his absolute best through the nine game win streak and leads the league in passing yards, passing touchdowns, and passer rating. There wasn’t a thing that he missed in the final half of the season as he led the Sailfish to the playoffs and put himself as a clear cut MVP in his final season.

Tier 2, Task 8

The distinction between Offensive Player of the Year and Most Valuable Player can be a little hard to pick out sometimes but thankfully this season, it won’t be. While most have Banks as MVP, that leaves the Offensive Player of the Year wide open to a few positions and one person that should definitely win the award without a single bit of debate. That would be the phenomenal rookie wide receiver Doug Howlett. While he has impressed the Hawks, he also has baffled teams that played against him as he scorched practically every team that tried to come up with a plan to stop him. The rookie speed receiver was a sight to behold by all of those on the field as he carved up defenses for an average of 103 receiving yards a game and almost a guaranteed touchdown a game. His passing yards not only led the league, but were enough to shatter the former Hawks record by sixty yards in a season! Speaking of record breaking, Howlett broke three rookie receiving records in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns in a season all in one as a Hawks receiver along with joining the all-time greats in his rookie season. While most receivers have to wait for a max earning season, Howlett managed to join two spots on the all-time season records for receivers on his first try with joining the top ten receptions and top ten receiving yards list. At 102 receptions, Howlett is the new 10th spot in the rankings, taking over for the legendary DiMirio from Philadelphia. On the receiving yards list, Howlett gets even higher as the new fourth spot all-time and replacing New Orleans’ Fyodorovich. While these numbers guarantee rookie of the year, I feel that they also help Howlett’s case for Offensive Player of the Year and even can put him in contention for MVP based on how dominant this season was for him. There is a lot of growing that Howlett can still do since this is his talent level as a rookie, and it would not be unheard of to see him once again competing for the best of the best when it comes to the offensive awards. This season goes to show just how much the Baltimore air raid worked with players like Doug Howlett catching passes and taking them to the house over and over again. Howlett definitely deserves to be the Offensive Player of the Year.

[ztarwarz]

7. Does it count if I've been drafted to a team but have not been called up? Because I REALLY want to talk about the Arizona Outlaws. Looking back on their season, it's almost impressive how poorly they performed in the first half to still make the playoffs. Losing two games by 8 points to NOLA and the Sabercats wasn't exactly ideal, but it was away, and the sim massively favors home field. Cracks really started to show, however, in the 3rd game, where they WON. But they were at HOME, facing the Silverbacks, and were down until pretty late in the 4th. The 4th game, at home playing the Orange County Otters, should have been the game that broke the Outlaws. They held OCO to 10 first downs, and almost doubled them in yards gained. They scored 30 points. The problem? Cue is the greatest worst quarterback of all time. He basically handed OCO the victory with 3 INTs, all of which led to touchdowns almost immediately, and got sacked for a safety to boot. He also almost certainly handed Prince Vegeta Defensive Performance of the year. Now, with a 1-3 record, the Outlaws were massively behind the 8 ball. But then, they started winning. Beating a resurgent Hahalua at their stadium turned out to be very important in the long run, and a dominant home win against a good Butchers side and a...less dominant win against a poor Copperheads side led to some great opportunities...and then they went 1-3 over their next 4 games, including a home loss to the surging Sailfish and giving the Silverbacks their first win of the season. At 5-6 with 5 games left to play, their only saving grace was that 3 of their games were at home. Unfortunately, they also had to go to Orange County.

And yet they won. They beat OCO away, after giving away a victory at home. They beat the Sabercats at home, to give them a shot at home field advantage in the wild card if they made it, and then beat Honolulu at home to cement their spot in the playoffs (after OCO couldn't beat them at home) and Cue's first playoff game ever. Finishing 4-1 (with a win against NOLA and a loss against Austin being the other two games) would be enough to vault them up over even the Sabercats as they went down in the last game of the season to the Silverbacks, and the Hahalua's away-heavy end of the season sunk them as they lost 3 of their last 4. Arizona now has a place in the postseason for the first time in a while, with a home game against last year's surprise champions for the right to head to Orange County again. And Arizona has proven they can walk in and beat Orange County.

(472 words)

15. And here's my last season where I'm eligible for the newbie task. I've had ups and downs, with a terrible performance simwise my first year, which I partly want to blame on bad advice from my GM but can't really do when I don't have any idea what I'm doing myself. I probably won't win the Ultimini, which is a shame because I'm pretty sure in a nonexpansion season Portland's amazing S25 draft class would have had us in a great place to win the title this season. I'm not going to win any awards either, this season or last, although I should be on the ballot for Returner and might get on the ballot for RB, unless I go off big with the returns tonight. If I get a touchdown on a return, I think I should be the favorite assuming Callous doesn't also get a touchdown. Or if we somehow make the playoffs and I do amazingly in them, which is a very big long shot unless London feels like going easy on us. I feel like I've made some good acquaintances, and a few friendly rivalries with people like Plat and Felix, as well as one slightly less friendly rivalry with Payton, which I will continue to use as article fodder whenever my bank account starts to dip a tiny bit lower. I hope that when I am probably called up to the ISFL next season, I can start on a good foot and make a name for myself. That being said, it hasn't always been fun and games. My first season had a ton of bad performances which put a damper on my excitement, and draft day was a mix of aggravating and saddening as I saw round after round go by without getting called up; I thought I could improve on my 3rd round draft spot in my ISFL draft, and I wasn't exactly happy to instead fall down to the fifth round. That being said, I've enjoyed the light smack talk I've dished out while watching games and I've also enjoyed all the friends in Portland's locker room. I'll miss Southpaw once I've been called up, and I've been missing Arkz this season. Thankfully Zeagle is going with me to AZ, at least. All in all, it's been a mixed bag, and I hope it will improve as I get better as a player, and if my team's sim luck can improve from ABSO-FRIGGIN-LUTELY ABYSMAL to at least average.

(415 words)

[Reno]

420 Words
9) Chicago has an incredibly bright future going towards the upcoming season. While the team is already in a great space led by a young core who have good presence on both sides of the ball, there are a few small holes on the team that can be addressed that would help bring them towards that next level of becoming a top tier team like the Orange County Otters and Colorado Yeti always seem to be. The beauty of Chicago is how well balanced the overall roster is, at every position there is at least one great player to lead the team. Quarterback, wide receiver, cornerback, you name it Chicago has a player there that is developing quickly and becoming a top tier player at that position. Youth is the greatest strength that the team has, with minimal amounts of players actually hitting regression the team is only going to trend upwards going forward. The biggest weakness that I would say with Chicago is the safety position. While neither player at the position is particularly bad, they do lag a bit behind the rest of the team in overall which could hurt the defense a little bit. Another issue in the safety regard is the upcoming retirement of Raphael d'Alcott, who will be missed dearly. D’Alcott was an up and coming safety for the team and losing him will create a hole at free safety that either needs to be addressed through the draft or through free agency. Center is another position with a giant hole in it, with only a bot there on the offensive line, and while it’s not a pressing need for long term success, it certainly couldn’t hurt to fix it with an actual player. Thankfully Chicago both has plentiful assets in both cap space and draft capital to fix those holes so going forward the teams outlook will be bright. Draft an offensive lineman from the draft or sign one in free agency, and then either look to the same means or look to the farm for the hole at free safety, and you’re looking at a Chicago team that’s poised to make a run at an Ultimus in Season 26. Bayley and Muford have taken incredibly smart and well measured steps to make sure the team is poised to be a contender for years to come, and with a handful of even more smart and simple moves the team will be contending with the likes of Orange Country and Colorado for seasons to come.

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25) I think that the best idea for expanding the Pro Bowl skill contest would be to create a bunch of games that aren’t related to football to truly see how players stack up against each other in different sports to see who truly is the best athlete. Imagine watching a home run derby but instead of baseball players you have 300 pound incredibly jacked linemen swinging for the fences aiming for the longest home run possible, or you have the speedy running backs competing in a hardest shot contest against each other in the world of hockey. It would be a gateway to opening up combined all star games and other skills contests which would be mutually beneficial for all of the leagues that exist in the world. Alternatively there’s another way that could showcase the best skills contest, a test of mental toughness. I’d love to see a skills contest that’s basically a trivia game, quizzing the players on a variety of things related to sports or other generic knowledge pieces to see who the real cream of the crop are in terms of the intelligent superstars in the league, of course quarterbacks would be banned from this contest for having an unfair advantage but this could be great for the leagues overall health.

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29) One of the most underappreciated players on the Chicago Butcher is our kicker, one Sam Sidekick. The most well known kickers in the league like Venus Powers or Silver Banana get all the recognition and it’s for a fair reason, they’re consistently the best kickers in the league and forefronts of the community. Sidekick isn’t as well known outside of the Chicago clubhouse but they’re such a prominent figure inside of it and make it that much more enjoyable for everyone on the team. Sidekick is always having friendly conversations with people and encouraging others to do their best and keeping spirits high whenever the team is feeling down. On the field, Sidekick is a solid contributor as well, scoring points whenever the offense sputters and can’t find the end zone, being a very reliable field goal kicker with a 93.3% accuracy on the season. Sidekick also serves as the teams primary punter, and contributes incredibly well in that regard. Finishing second in the league in total punting yards, and constantly giving the team’s defense good field positioning helped get the team to the 8-8 record that they worked incredibly hard to earn, and without Sidekick that quest would have been even harder to achieve.

[ZootTX]

16)

While there have been several impressive defensive ends in the ISFL this season, only one clearly stands out above the rest of the pack with their record-setting season, and should not only be considered the leading contender for defensive end of the year, but should also be consider a legitimate nominee for defensive player of the year, as well. Yellowknife Wraiths’ Nero Alexander leads all defensive ends in tackles with 68. That is 4 more than the next closest DE, Colorado Yeti’s Immanuel Blackstone and Alexander’s closest apparent competition for the DEoTY award. Alexander also has 7 sacks, 2 more than Blackstone. However, where Alexander stands out the most is with 23 tackles for loss, which leads all defensive players by an impressive 5 TFL over New York Silverbacks’ DE Steco Ocewilder, the next closes. That’s also 6 more than Blackstone. If that wasn’t impressive enough, Alexander’s TFL count  is good enough to rank second all time in league history, trailing only Spike Suzuki’s 24 in season 23! Alexander has quietly  lived in the backfield this season, terrorizing quarterbacks and running backs alike, as a part of a Wraith’s defense that is 4th ranked in rushing yards allowed. Unfortunately, with the Wraith’s 7-9 record, I fear many voters will overlook Alexander’s impressive and record-setting season with an eye more towards players on more successful teams.

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22)Cobra Kai is one of the top running backs in the upcoming ISFL draft. He is currently the starting running back for the Dallas Birddogs of the DSFL. This current season he rushed for 1324 yards, ranking him third amongst all S26 running backs, with a YPC of 5.1, which is the highest of his draft classes RBs. Kai also scored 7 rushing touchdowns, tied for 3rd best. He is an efficient and explosive runner, with the ability to break off for long runs. His longest run this season was for 68 yards, which was second in the DSFL. Kai is quick and strong with speed and strength ratings of 94 and 70, respectively. Kai’s biggest weaknesses relative to his class are currently his agility and hand, with meager 55 and 45 ratings in those categories. Kai was not much of a receiving threat, with only 97 yards on 16 receptions and no touchdowns. Kai is an extremely active user, with 266 TPE as of this writing, which is the most amongst the season 26 draft class. Kai is also extremely active in the Birddogs locker room, and seems to be well-liked by his peers. He has an extremely high work ethic, and what weak areas he does have can be overcome through practice and experience. Any team with a need at running back should be interested in Kai, although it is recommended they send him down for a season back to the DSFL to accumulate another season’s worth of TPE.

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30)This last season’s expansion added two teams to the ISFL. The Berlin Fire Salamanders were added to the NSFC, and the New York Silverbacks were added to the ASFC. As expected, both teams struggled in their first season. The Fire Salamanders finished the year with a 3-13 record at the bottom of their conference, with both the least points scored and most points allowed by any team. They also only won 1 game at home, the fewest of any team. The Fire Salamanders biggest strength was their run game, which ranked second overall in yards per game. Their biggest weakness was pretty much everything else. The Fire Salamanders did not have a receiver over 1000 yds, with the worst passing offense in the league. The Silverbacks also struggled, finishing the season with a 4-12 record. The Silverbacks managed to loss all of their road games. A bright spot for the Silverbacks is the league’s leading rusher in Ashley Owens. The Silverbacks also lost 7 games by a score or less, so they were almost there! Pretty much all expansion teams are expected to struggle for their first few seasons, but as long as both the Fire Salamanders and the Silverbacks can continue to gain that TPE, attract a few good free agents, and build up some good draft picks in the DSFL, they should be able to compete with the rest of the league in only a few more seasons.

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28)The S22 ISFL draft was a massive draft, with a total of 284 eligible players. Current Chicago Butchers cornerback Tyron Shields was drafted in the S22 ISFL draft in the 11h round, with the 126th overall pick. However, if the draft was redone today, he would undoubtedly go much higher! Shields fell so low in the draft as he was basically inactive at the time. Like most of the picks after about 50, teams were just taking shots in the dark, hoping they stuck. Well, the Butchers got lucky, as Shields suddenly decided that he was going to become the biggest draft steal of all time. While the title may or may not be up for debate, what isn’t debatable is that the Butchers definitely hit on this pick. As of this writing, Shields is currently sitting at 768 TPE, which puts him at 17th amongst all cornerbacks, and 8th among S22 corners. Shields has over 350 tackles and 30 pass deflections over the past three ISFL seasons, as well as a S23 Pro Bowl selection and S23 defensive rookie of the year nomination. So, while Shields may not be the number 1 cornerback in the league, the Butchers definitely struck gold back in S22 with pick 126, and there is no doubt in any reason person’s mind that Shields definitely outperformed his draft position.

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8.
Moe Skeeter has had one of the best rookie seasons for a Safety in league history. Portland’s third round pick lines up at the free safety position for the pythons, and also had dabbled in kick returning. Despite falling in the draft, Portland had a first round grade on him, and he had hit the TPE cap with two weeks left in the season, proving them right. Despite his render being a minor league baseball mascot, he has found himself as the Python’s breakout star this season. Maybe ripping off minor league baseball teams is the path to success, look at Norfolk finally removing their rip-off logo and having their worst season in recent memory. Anyways, Moe Skeeter posted a ridiculous state line of 58 tackles, a fumble recovery, 4 sacks, 3 interceptions, 3 passes defended, and most importantly, two defensive touchdowns. Moe is in contention for the defensive player of the year, the defensive rookie of the year, safety of the year, and defensive performance of the year.
Mario Messi is other breakout star for the Portland Pythons. The wide receiver was drafted in the fifth round, 37th overall, and has grown tremendously as a player over the course of the season. He might even have been a bigger steal than Moe Skeeter! Mario Messi will hit the TPE cap before the final game of the season as well, meaning that Portland’s top three picks all hit the cap in less than a full season. Mario’s stats are otherworldly this season, posting a league leading 8 TDs on 85 catches for 861 yards. He has the most TDs in the league by two and has the most catches in the league by nearly 20! He’s also second in the league in yards, only behind Crossley, of MB, who had the benefit of having a capped send down QB throwing to them. Mario is in contention for the offensive player of the year, offensive rookie of the year, wide receiver of the year, and offensive performance of the year.
There were plenty of other Pythons who deserve shoutouts for their amazing seasons and will no doubt be winning awards. Darren Pama could be up for running back of the year, Marc Hamel should be in contention for offensive lineman of the year, Etrigan T. Slayer should be considered for defensive end of the year, Donald McBobby should win linebacker of the year and defensive performance of the year. Portland’s record doesn’t fully show the amazing individual seasons all of their players had.
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9.
Portland’s future is an interesting one. This season we’re most likely going 7-7 and missing the playoffs, after going 6-8 last season and making the playoffs (only to get slaughtered by London, which was unfortunate). The 7-7 record is a huge disappointment after starting the season 3-1 and having a stacked defense full of send downs and highly active rookies, as well as two capped running backs, the team really should have finished the season better than a dismal 4-6. Looking forward, Portland is in call up limbo, as are most DSFL teams at the end of every season. As of now, we should keep all of our offense, barring a surprise call up of a wide receiver or running back, but that depends on what situation the team that drafts them is in. RB Darren Pama is property of Arizona and they just acquired a RB in a trade, so he should be safe from callups for another season. Portland’s defense is a completely different story, as we stand to have almost every major contributor called up. The only S24 capped player with a chance of being sent down is Etrigan T. Slayer, our star DE, who is the property of the Chicago Butchers. LB Donald McBobby and DT Chuck Roth are most likely gone. Second DT Angelo Cerilli is sadly inactive and appears to be going on the ineligible list for next season. Portland also has a couple additional linebackers who are not max earners, and they may stay down for another season or two to boost their TPE. Luckily, we have another DE who was a draft day create who has max earned since day one but will be safe from callups due to creating late in the cycle and not having the overall TPE that many other prospects do. He will be capped by the start of the season and will be a crucial piece for Portland. Our major worry is that rookie safety Moe Skeeter may be called up to whatever team drafts him. Not many teams are safety needy in the draft this season, so hopefully we can keep him because he’s a huge piece for the defense. Portland has a normal amount of draft capital, although trades can happen. If a trade were to occur, we would most likely be buyers, rather than sellers. With that said, Portland will be drafting defense heavily, maybe even exclusively, next draft.
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