(S27) Ultimus Week

[RedArrow12c]

16) The bank now accepts ISFL currency in exchange for real money – every ISFL dollar counts as $0.50 in the real world. How much money would you exchange, and what would you spend it on?

I would definitely talk all of my ISFL currency and exchange it for real money. Sorry to the league, but if I could go to the bank right now and take out several million dollars, I would do that every day of the week. I would also make sure to write a lot more media, and I would never stop writing media, I would make it my real life job! That would be the greatest amount of money I could make in my life, and it would not even be too difficult to accomplish in the first place. Now, as for what I would spend it on, ironically it would probably be a lot of real life sports. Things like jerseys, season tickets, autographed balls, I would buy it all, and I would trick out my new writing workspace to become the ultimate sports fans dream. It would be an amazing place to live in, and honestly I would never need to leave my house (That is, when I am not attending games). I would invite all of my friends to come hang out in my sports paradise, and I would probably get a lot more friends coming to me asking to hang out, but I would have to separate them from my real friends.

215 Words

18) If you could cast your team in a video game or TV show, what would that look like? Would they be voice actors in a game or cartoon, actors in a funny sitcom, or maybe key players in a reality tv show?

Red Arrow would definitely love to be in a TV show, he loves to act. He does not quite have the acting chops to be a top tier actor, but he is no slouch when it comes to playing a character. As a young kid he did perform in a school play, so he has some (even if very little) experience when it comes to acting and that whole world. However, the first show Arrow would probably appear on would be a Game Show. Game Show’s have always been the love of Red Arrow, aside from sports obviously. Arrow would not even care which show, as long as it is a competition, he is in. Whether it’s Family Feud or Jeopardy or Legends of the Hidden Temple, Arrow watched it all as a kid, and he wants to be able to participate in these shows too. He would hope to stay away from the more general trivia shows such as Jeopardy, but he knows that beggars can’t be choosers, and he’ll take what he can get. If anyone knows how Arrow can contact someone to get on one of these shows, that information would be very well appreciated. He will try so hard to win these shows, it would definitely make for good content.

214 Words

28) We’ve now finished a whole season in the new sim. What do you think about it? Are things working well for your player and team, or are there changes you think might be made?

First of all, I will admit that I am not as well versed with this new sim engine or the old sim engine as much as many others. I am more into the forum and Discord side of things, and I let my GMs and other knowledgeable teammates help me with understanding how the sim works and how to best mold my player to succeed in the sim. That said, I like that the ISFL team decided to switch the sim engines. The new sim is definitely a little bit fresher, and I think it is a little bit more enjoyable to watch. Honestly I do not know how the meta works with the new and old sim, and if either one was better or worse than the other. If there is an overarching meta that forces users that want to succeed to pick a particular type, I would prefer the other sim, but the fact that I am not aware of that means that I like the new sim. My player did pretty well for a rookie, obviously not the best, but I can work with it. I think in the long run I will be forced to switch from a mobile QB, but I am fine doing that.

210 Words

27) You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?

If I was in charge of providing the entertainment for the entire ISFL or DSFL for the half-time show, I would do one of two things. I am first going to present a more realistic option for what a sim league half-time show would be, and then I would give an unrealistic option. For the realistic option, I think a user could be selected to be a “DJ”, and they pick some good tracks to get the crowd pumped up at halftime. I would not let this show go on for too long, but maybe a five minute break during the games where some songs could be played could be fun for the crowd. This may get stale too quickly as well, especially with how many shows there would have to be every year, but I think it would still be fun. Now, for an unrealistic option, if there was a legitimate game that people watched with a real musical artist performing at the halftime show, I think Green Day deserves to perform at a halftime show, so we could give them what they deserve here. They would be an amazing halftime show for the Super Bowl, so we could give them the next best thing here.

207 Words

[3lewsers]

Tier 3 (one affiliate task for 2.5 TPE)

SHL Affiliate Task

Task 22 - Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service.





Task 23 - Design the ideal uniform or a helmet for a team in the DSFL or ISFL




Task 24 - Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league

[furiousPanda]

UW pass

[jackkmart]

Tier 3 - SHL Affiliate 03/08-03/18

SHL Affiliate (jackkmart)

Tier 3 - 16

Well, after my most recent weekly training I have been left with 300,000 USD in my account. Don't laugh. Please. I would withdraw all of it leaving me with 150,000 USD. This sum is great and all but comparatively less than most others would be able to withdraw. Regardless, I fancy myself to be a little creative so let's spend this money. 

The first purchase is pretty boring and acts as more of a setup for my second purchase but I would set aside about 36 grand for rent for the next 2-3 years while I'm in university so I can have a nice ass apartment all to myself. 

Secondly, now that I have my own apartment for a long period of time I would buy, drum roll please, a really nice bidet. I think my budget for this item would be somewhere between 500 to 3000 USD. This may seem odd but it has been a goal of mine for many years since my first experience with one about 9 years ago.

Now that my single most important life goal has been checked off I have about 100-110 thousand dollars still to play with. I honestly have no other desires at this point so I'd probably just put it into a couple of different retirement/ investment plans so that I can buy even more bidets if I make it to 65 years old!

236 Words

Tier 3 - 17

The most popular items at Minnesota home games all consist of Chinese imported duck. That may seem weird at first, you may ask; "why would you want to eat your own mascot?!". Well, allow me to explain. 

Primarily, the Minnesota fans aren't eating their own mascot at the games, a Grey Duck a somewhat fictional species of duck is not the same as a Mandarin Duck, assuming they are the same animal is borderline offensive.  

Secondly, the profit margin on the duck-based food items is off the charts, just ask CC! China has a well-documented over-population problem with mandarin ducks and other species meaning the organization can import them on the cheap and markup like crazy. Big profits!

Third, and almost most importantly, duck is delicious! Would you rather a slow-braised, well seasoned, and marinated duck taco, or some lame ass taco with a stale bun and a hotdog that tastes like boiled water. I know which one I'd go for.

Finally, the sheer diversity of items one can extract from one animal is astounding. Tacos, sandwiches, fried duck breast, duck burgers, duck flavored beer (IDK the logistics I'm just making suggestions), duck wings, etc. You name it, we've got it. You'll never go hungry at a Ducks home game. 

Unless you don't like duck then we really don't have any other food options so you should probably plan ahead and bring some snacks.

234 Words

Tier 3 - 23

White NewDux Concept

[AW13]

Code:

1) This week will see the S26 Ultimus and Ultimini races begin in earnest. How did each team arrive at the playoffs? Were there any dark horse teams that went unexpectedly far, or any presumptive favorites that fell flat? Who do you think will win the final? If you’re writing this after the finals were decided, were you surprised by the outcome?

For this subject, we have to talk about the Ultimini and how that ended up shaking out, right!? Right! Well as many already know, the Dallas Birddogs have won the Season 27 Ultimini championship and defeated the Kansas City Coyotes 23-21 with a late field goal by Dallas Dole after a great stop by the Dallas defense and a great drive by the Dallas offense. Looking at the overall box score and team stats, you would definitely believe that Dallas won the game but the teams were close as well overall though most stats tilted towards the dogs of the bird variety except for turnovers. Let's look at how each team got to the big game!

Dallas:
The Dallas Birddogs were the number one team in the Southern division and I believe the number one overall seed in the entire DSFL as well though I am not entirely sure on the tiebreaker versus Portland in the North who had the same record. I believe because Dallas had a better overall conference record they would have been home field throughout the playoffs regardless of the Northern matchup but who knows. Dallas began the season with an extremely hot start coming out of the gate 4-0 before a close loss to Bondi Beach before rattling off another streak of wins, this time of 7. Dallas had all but locked up the best record in the DSFL by week 12 with 2 games remaining and the team having accomplished what they needed to, appeared to take their foot off the pedal for a couple games, dropping their last 2 to Portland and Kansas City, the playoff teams from the North.

Dallas was led all season by an exciting offensive attack and a defense that largely remained in the top half in most categories as well so the combination of high powered offense and strong defense definitely helped Dallas storm to their best record ever. Led by quarterback, Joliet Christ Jr., son of ISFL hall of fame quarterback Joliet L Christ, and running back Sirdsvaldis Miglasķēms, the team was definitely not short of weapons. With wide receivers Chunt the Badger, Bayley Cowabunga, and Borgo San Lorenzo as huge options in the passing game and Migs and Gaare in the backfield, stopping Dallas was not really a huge option. The only chance you had was to outscore Dallas in a shootout normally.

As far as the playoffs go, Dallas, facing an underwhelming Tijuana team were challenged the whole game and the infamous Automatic first down will ring in Mexico for years as QB Christ Jr. orchestrated a comeback win capped off by a 14 yard TD pass to Chunt the Badger. Dallas was Ultimini bound with a 28-27 win against the Luchadores!

Kansas City:
Kansas City on the other hand was a barely there playoff team, finishing at 7-7 and 2nd to Portland in the northern division and needed the last week win against the Dallas Birddogs to lock in their playoff spot otherwise I believe London would have been going to the playoffs at 6-8 with tiebreakers but honestly I am not 100% sure there and don't want to have to figure it out. Kansas City would go on to the playoffs regardless with their win. 

Kansas City was 0-2 against the Portland Pythons and their untested QB Lebron James III was that did not stop the Coyotes from proving that they belonged in these playoffs even when many would count them out. They dominated James III and made him look like a below average quarterback in a 31-21 statement win by Kansas City as they forced last year's MVP to a 43.6 passer rating and 2 interceptions.

The Big Game:
It was the best team in Dallas versus the hungry Coyotes and with how Coyotes dismantled the Python attack and their quarterback, it was on to bigger and better things as they faced a truly good quarterback in Christ Jr. Stopping Christ was not as simple so Kansas City really had to focus on the ground attack of Miglasķēms and Gaare and force them to beat them. For the most part, they did a good job against Sirdsvaldis, the regular season leader in rushing yards and touchdowns. They held him to 2.3 yards per carry though did give up 2 rushing scores to him. Gaare had some more success rushing for 78 yards on 8 tries including a big 35 yard run as well. Surprisingly Kansas City held Dallas to 23 points this game despite the Birddogs getting 461 total yards from their offense. Christ threw for 333 yards and a score and despite throwing an interception was named player of the game on offense by the sim. The game was back and forth and ended in an interesting way as Dole missed the extra point that would have tied the game at 21. After a big stop and drive by his teammates, Dole got another shot in a big moment and knocked through a 23-yard field goal to win the game.

The better team won at the end but I have to credit the Coyotes on an amazing run to the Ultimini and a hell of a fight in the title game.

[CementHands]

8) Write about a potential new recruitment strategy for the league. How can we attract more new players, and what can we do to retain them better?

Recruiting and retention can be a little difficult with all the other competition out there, and the fundamental difference between the isfl and other football leagues. If recruiting generally takes on trying to gain interest from general football fan areas I think this would naturally lead to huge spikes and inactivity. The key pieces are 1) being able to attract new players to join the league, which can be daunting at first if they are fans or not used to how a simulation league operates, and 2) grow that initial interest into wanting to stick around to build your player to be a success story, whichever metric that is self defined as. Both of these are needed for the league to succeed and grow, you can have 1 and not see sustained growth, but both are critical.

The DSFL plays en extremely key role in player retention. They are the first place all new players go, and these teams need to be available to help new players navigate the intricacies of the sim league, as well ad put together a team that is interesting enough to lock in the players to commit. One of the difficult transitions is the DSFL to ISFL one, where players move after playing a few seasons to an entirely new team and environment, and players suddenly going from potentially exceptionally good, to struggling the first few seasons. One of the downsides to people's expectations is that if they come in thinking they can run away and be exceptional at the top level right off the bat, they are going to be disappointed. The way the league is set up is you can improve to be exceptional, but you likely aren't going to have a big impact for a few seasons after your draft.

One fun idea I like to dabble with in simulation leagues is that of a developmental league. So you have juniors, then ISFL as the main league. If the league grows then a developmental league with the goal of seasoning the young players. Maybe they only play 1 or 2 seasons in the DSFL before moving to the team who drafts them and they get to experience that team, become familiar with them and so on. That cements buy in to the main team which is the goal for everyone to make it at the big stage, but I feel a problem is burn out when people realize what kind of longevity they need to commit to. Adding a development league will help the DSFL be a purely introductory league, and will shore up ties to players and their ISFL teams, reaffirming that that is the top league.

Code:

446 Words

12) Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

Ragnar grew up true to his viking ancestry. Tall and strong. He was extremely active as a child and teenager, joining and participating in every team sport he could find. He tried soccer, but he was too slow on the field and his size lead to teams wanting to try him in net which he hated. He moved on to another popular Swedish sport in ice hockey where he played as an imposing defense man for several seasons, but it just never ticked that box of an activity that he would do for the love of it. He always had trouble with skating, being ungraceful on the ice it was clearly a sport that he had no wish to continue.
Queue American Football. This sport was and is not popular at all in Sweden, or in Nordic countries at all for that matter, but his school put on an exposition for the sport and he wanted to try it out. Each city had 1 team, so roster space was tight, but he went out for the tryout, not knowing anything about the sport or positions. When the tryout split into offense, defense and special teams Ragnar stood in the middle, coaches looking at him asking him where he wanted to play.
"I'm not sure, maybe the kicker?"
"Son, we already have that filled out, why don't you go with the receivers, see if you fit in there, and we will find somewhere for you to fit in"
"All right" he thought to himself. Making his way over to the receivers Ragnar found them working on a drill called "The Gauntlet", basically the receiver runs in a straight line and balls are thrown in their direction for them to catch. Ragnar lined up and ran through, catching every ball as that was the object, and his huge hands made easy work gripping the ball.
"Did that guy just catch every ball we threw?"
"Yes he did, looks like we have a new receiver this season"
"What's his name?"
"Looks like... Krashwagen? Never heard of him, must be new"

Just like that Krash launched into his future and now current career. He played his first snap when he was 16 years old, with a lot of room to improve and learn the game, but his size being in place gave him a massive advantage over his age group, and he was moved into an inside role where he would be able to make plays over top of the defense. This was the first time he was thought of as a Tight End instead of a receiver. Once a position was established, Ragnar was able to begin working on some of the physical aspects of the position, and still to this day continues to grow those.

Code:

461 Words

[nunccoepi]

UW Pass

[JuOSu]

15) Write about another sim league you are in and which parts of it you enjoy. If you are only in the ISFL, write about your ideas for a sim league with another sport.

I absolutely love the Pro Baseball Experience, the PBE, the baseball version of what the ISFL is. It is the league that I am most comfortable in and the league I put most focus on. I have been involved in the PBE from the start and love it absolutely. I think it uses the best sim in Out of the park baseball and there is a ton you can do with it. The game itself is great and it has by far the most extensive index of any league as well. Building a player is awesome and fun as well. I love the history aspects of the PBE, mainly because I run a lot of the teams responsible for it, including the league and team history team as well as the hall of fame committee. We also have great teams and people in it and the league is thriving with users right now. I have been fortunate enough to have won a lot of awards there, since my first player Julian O'Sullivan became one of the best players of all time there. I managed to get into the hall of fame and also won some GM of the year awards with my San Antonio Sloths. I also just got voted most dedicated member, something that genuinely brought tears to my eyes. I think the individuality between players is quite exciting in the PBE. You can either be a pitcher or a hitter, and there is a lot of difference in those experiences for everyone. I think the PBE is very different to the ISFL as well in length of careers. In the PBE your player can play up to like 15 seasons and such but it takes you a LOT longer to be actually good first of all. Like as a hitter, you need to have like 1000 TPE to be even average at this point. Very tough for new people I think, but I enjoy the challenge of it now. I love that it's a bit of a different feel between the different leagues and I am curious to see how other people answer this. I know a lot of people prefer being in one league but to me I love being in more than one. I love both leagues almost equally, but the PBE is just more fun to me. The streams are more fun because of the great sim but on the other hand they are also insanely long at like 2 to 3 hours each sim as well. I love the PBE and look forward to more time in the league!

11) What is it that keeps you interested in the league? Is it your love of dot football, your locker room, a specific job or role you play, or something else? What do you like most about it? What could be improved?

First and foremost what keeps me around in this league is the overall experience of sim leagues. Whenever I played sports games what I loved most was to be able to experience the single career with one player. That was always most fun to me and something I really liked. So when I found leagues like this, I really felt like this was the perfect way to do it. I love the progression as well, you slowly become better by how much effort you put in. Obviously luck happens, but in general you make your own luck by being a max active guy. As I got more into these leagues the thing that really keeps bringing me back and interests me is the history that the league has. Being able to look at old players, old careers, records, etc is what really interests me. I obviously write a lot of media in regards to the history of the league. Especially when it comes to my team, the New Orleans Second Line I write a lot about the top 10 rankings for the team, the records for our team and so it is fun to compare yourself with greats of the past on your team. I also love history for the entire league and have written about all star teams, championships for players and GMs, the hall of fame and several other topics. I think that is what really drives me, to make a player that could break some records or could be a hall of fame player again. I also love my team and the people involved in it. Some of the most amazing people I have met in sim leagues are on my team and in the war room. I want to highlight guys like Tom Hanks and slothfacekilla nd terrible hippo who I all drafted myself as the GM in old days and who became a big part of the first war room I built after I took over the team. They are excellent people and people I consider close friends. I have also met some other great people since then. There are people like drector and mith and jaydocto and Adam who are all excellent as well. Bex was also on our team for a long time and great people! I look forward to meeting even more amazing people in this laeague in the future and making more history together. It will be fun to add even more names on the top 10 lists for the NOLA top 10.

[TeyonSchavari]

5) The league has a rich and fascinating history, and our perspectives on it differ from person to person. In 800 words or more, describe any significant moment in ISFL or DSFL history, whether you were around for it or not. Describe the context, the significant members, and the events. What exactly made this event so famous (or infamous) and why does it deserve to be remembered? Events might include championship wins, the inducting of players to the hall of fame, or even a league scandal.

I’ve been around this league long enough to see plenty of scandals, running jokes, memorable events, and juicy drama unfold. Whether it be punishments, mass retirements, resims, or even the pinned messages in general chat, I’ve either seen them all or at the very least know the story behind it. I could talk about the infamous Nuk and the day that the league came together in harmony to roast and condemn this bigoted and hateful user. I could go on and on about the resim in S14 when legendary receiver Trey Willie took the field for the now-defunct San Antonio Marshalls. On a lighter note, I could share some laughs on some of the days that general chat went wild over hickeys and horse blood (you don’t want to know).

However, instead I want to opt for a situation that was a bit more personal to me. I’ve shared some of my feelings to my closer friends in the league, but I haven’t made my thoughts and experiences public, or went into too much detail about what went on before the situation became a league-wide drama case – of which I chose not to be involved in.

Recently, there was a big controversy regarding the Baltimore Hawks. After a movement by the league GM’s to remove Baltimore’s GM’s, HO after hearing from the GM’s of the rest of the league decided that the Hawks’ leadership needed to be changed. Of course, this was a bit of a controversial topic, as some outside of the team agreed with the removal of Butters, while those inside the team were a bit taken aback. The true controversy started after HO’s decision of the new GM’s. Members of the team were hurt that they didn’t pick candidates from within who they believed could right the ship. Others from outside had the perspective that fresh blood was needed to overhaul Baltimore’s culture and reputation. What followed was a massive change in the team’s structure, as their star QB and many other high profile players were traded or left the team in some way. There seemed to be some bitterness with how HO handled the team and between the new GM’s and the old guard of players. A lot of media articles were written and there were a lot of conversations in the league regarding this situation.

All of this is information known to the general public, for the most part. But what I want to present is the lead up to this massive league event. What many don’t know is that many of the issues started before Butters even became a member of the Hawks. Here is my story.

My first look into the Baltimore Hawks and the way the team was ran started when I was drafted. I recall being scouted by Baltimore, but I was not asked very many questions and I didn’t feel like they were super excited for me during scouting. When I heard my name called in the S24 draft, I was surprised yet excited. I had fully expected to go to NOLA on the next pick, however the Hawks traded up for me and I felt good about it. That is, until they drafted another active running back in the same draft. I was a bit shaken up by this, but I didn’t let it get in the way of my optimism. Dewalt was the GM at the time, and I was excited to play for him as we have had great conversations before and found out we’re from around the same area.

It was not sunshine and rainbows for very long, however. Shortly after the draft, expansion was announced. Dewalt became one of the GM’s, and immediately on of my strongest connections was gone. Along with this, Baltimore began making trades that I considered questionable. One player, I found out, wanted to be co-GM, and was traded away to become another team’s GM rather than given an opportunity to become co-GM of the Hawks. A few others that I found pretty likeable as well were sent away. Then, came Butters, who was made co-GM. After essentially blowing up the team, the lead GM stepped down.

I personally believe that Butters was given a pretty tough hand to deal with. The locker room before this was already pretty dreary in my opinion, and after all of these players were sent away the atmosphere was much less positive. One user who I wish not to name in particular was very negative and sucked all the air out of the LR. Along with this, more players were brought in with a certain personality that gave Baltimore a reputation that I don’t believe was bad, rather it was just specific. To me it didn’t come down to liking something or not, it comes down to most of the locker room having a niche interest that a majority of people are not into.

After a full season being sent down, I was called up. And although I was drafted before the other RB, I was the backup – which is understandable considering they had more TPE. But we had similar goals in that we both wanted to be lead back, and I realized that for as long as I was on Baltimore, I would never be the main ball carrier. So, rather than wait until I could exercise my option, I opted for a trade so that Baltimore could get something in return. In turn they allowed multiple teams to talk to me, and I got particularly excited for one team…only for them to trade me to a team that never spoke to me. This was a letdown but I kept my head up. The rest of it is a story for another time.

In all, Baltimore already had its own issues before Butters was asked to step down. All this being said, aside from one person I did like everyone in the Baltimore LR. I and many other players did not leave because of the team’s success. I believe this even is important to remember as it is very important to examine the traits and preferences of a team’s management, and in the future if other teams go through something similar, a lot can be taken away from how this situation went down.


>1100 words

[shadyshoelace]

Task 1
PBE PT 24-1

Task 2

Code:

Pretend injuries are a thing in the ISFL and your team has had a lot of them lately – so many that your GM has asked you to play out of position. What position are they asking you to play and what about your player build will help you succeed in this role?

Has your team suffered a rash of injuries lately? Players out of commission from head to head collisions, non contact football injuries, skiing accidents, or falling pianos? Have no fear, as long as Dante King is on your roster. Since he was a child, Dante has honed his skills to be the ultimate swiss army knife for a football team. A running back by trade, Dante is able to make an impact lining up at various positions across the field - wide receiver, where his speed and agility is too much for cornerbacks on downfield routes; tight end, where despite his small stature, his tenacity and stoutness help him stonewall oncoming rushers and leak out for easy conversions; wildcat quarterback, which is basically just running back with fewer steps. And that's just the offense. While Dante lives to rack up yards and put points on the board, in a pinch he could even be convinced to apply his talents to the other side of the ball. Have you ever heard announcers respond to a defensive back's missed interception with "If he could catch, he'd be playing wide receiver?" Well, you'll never hear that with Dante. His natural receiving abilities will make him a turnover machine, and his years of experience reading the field and making defenders miss will give him excellent anticipation. Dante is the ultimate insurance policy for your team.

Code:

230 words

Task 3

Code:

What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why?

I may be biased as a lifelong member of the Yellowknife Wraiths, but I believe that the team has the best branding in the league. First, consider Yellowknife itself: the location certainly isn't for everyone, and frequently is cited by members of the league as an unbelievable aspect of the simulation. However, I believe that it is actually a beautiful illustration of the possibilities that sim leagues can offer. Yellowknife, a town that has no realistic chance of ever playing host to a real life professional sports league, can nonetheless gather a following and see success. There are so many teams from Boston, New York, Los Angeles, you name it. Let's give the little guys a chance. Second, the colors and logo are stellar. The wraith face is appropriately detailed without crossing the line into aggressive 3D-ism that seems to be pervasive today, while maintaining an intimidating presence and looking good at a variety of sizes and locations on graphics and jerseys. The blue and black are a striking combination - I'm a sucker for anything paired with black, and I believe the ice blue is virtually perfect. All that said, the team could possibly use a wordmark logo to continue to flesh out the brand even more - there are a variety of typefaces that could lend themselves well to the eerie ethos of the team and make it even stronger.

Code:

230 words

Task 4

Code:

Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, highlights, or totally fraudulent mail-in ballots. Whatever rookies get up to these days.

One of the most prominent prospects in the upcoming season 28 Developmental Simulation Football League draft is none other than Gimmy Jaroppolo Jr. (@Frick_Nasty), the son of famed DSFL quarterback Gimmy Jaroppolo. While it remains to be seen how much need teams have for quarterbacks, Gimmy Jr. is a fascinating prospect, so let's take a look at his scouting report and see what makes him special. As a gunslinger quarterback, Gimmy has a physical build and skillset similar to that of his famous father. With a strong arm, moderate but not outstanding accuracy, and low intelligence, Gimmy has been compared to former NFL QB Terry Bradshaw - who could sling a pigskin downfield with ease but famously scored just a 15 on the Wonderlic test. He also happens to look a lot like former NFL QB Jimmy Garoppolo, but is a much more promising player than that noodle arm. Gimmy's speed and agility also leave something to be desired, as he won't be outrunning defenders or making them miss when a play breaks down. However, the team that brings Gimmy aboard will be getting a fearless player with tenacity and grit, who, despite not playing a single down of college football will pour his heart into becoming the best leader and quarterback he can be, and a player with the raw physical talent in his right arm to one day carry them to glory. Will he end up going as high as he deserves, or will teams be scared away by his lack of experience? Stay tuned to find out.

Code:

259 words