09-23-2021, 09:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-03-2021, 09:13 AM by Crunk. Edited 2 times in total.)
Hey everyone, it’s your favorite WR2 in the Developmental Simulation Football League, Escanor Sama of the Dallas Birddogs, and today I’m bringing you along to experience what it’s like to spend a day in my shoes. Ready? Let’s go!
Every morning I wake up at around 6 in the morning. I lay in bed for about 15 minutes and do nothing but contemplate what I’m doing with my life that justifies waking up at 6 in the morning, every morning. Then I roll over and grab my phone and unplug the charger. I scroll through Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and all the media articles to see what people are saying about me, the one and only Escanor Sama. Each morning I continue to be disappointed that there are no such posts or articles talking about me. Then I get myself in the mindset that I’ll give them no other choice but to notice me. This is about another 15 minute process.
At 6:30am, I’m finally rolling out of bed. I slip on my Mordecai and Rigby bedroom slippers. I shuffle all the way to the bathroom and lean over the sink and stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. I wash my face off with warm water and then brush my teeth for approximately two minutes, as per the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s recommendation. I return to my bedroom and put on my shorts and a t-shirt.
I head to the kitchen and start brewing my coffee. Nothing too fancy. I’ve never been one of those guys that needs a “specific” brand of coffee. While that’s brewing, I go into the kitchen pantry. I grab a bowl and my box of Lucky Charms. Then I get the milk out of the refrigerator. I fix a bowl and practically devour it. I get up to pour my daily cup of coffee, and add creamer and sugar until the coffee is literally lighter than me. I return to the kitchen table and pour my second bowl of cereal. I take the time to actually enjoy the second bowl and then put the bowl in the sink, put the cereal back in the pantry, and put the milk back in the refrigerator. I then take my coffee cup with me to the living room.
I turn on the TV and make sure the channel is on ESPN. I don’t actually watch TV, however, as I really only use it for the background noise. I grab my laptop and pull up League of Legends. As it loads up, I text my buddy, Coby, and tell him it’s time for our morning game. I invite him to the lobby and we start the queue. I play jungle as Master Yi. After a slow start as always, I completely took over the game at about 20 minutes in. We win the game at the 45 minute mark, and I finish with 34 kills, 7 deaths, and 12 assists. I close my laptop, put my now empty coffee cup in the sink, and get ready for my morning workout.
I hop in my car and drive downtown to the Dallas Birddogs’ stadium. Man, I absolutely love the energy I get whenever I just step foot near this place. Nothing short of electrifying. I swipe my card into the weight room and head inside. Today specifically is leg day. I do my stretches for about 5 minutes. I put my headphones in and decide to listen to the Montero album for today’s workout. Then I head over to the exercise bike. I typically do about 2 miles with moderate tension. Afterwards, I head to the squat bar. I load 250 pounds onto the bar. I do 5 sets of 15 repetitions. Next is deadlifting. I load 400 onto the deadlift bar. I do 5 sets of 10 repetitions. Next is the Leg Press Machine. I place the pin in the 250 pound weight. I do 5 sets of 10 repetitions. To finish my exercise for the day, I run at a light to moderate pace on the treadmill for about half a mile. I head to the showers and take a nice warm shower. I’ll be back later to do some actual football drills.
I head into town and go to the shopping center. I head into American Eagle and do some clothes shopping. I buy about 4 pairs of new jeans, a nice hoodie, and a couple pairs of boxers. I head out and then head to the food court for lunch. I decide on chinese food. I get the sesame chicken with white rice. I sit and end enjoy my lunch, playing games on my phone whilst eating. After I finish, I head to the grocery store.
Today is grocery day, and I head straight to the frozen section. I grab 10 frozen pizzas and throw them in the cart. I get multiple different flavors. A few pepperoni, a few combinations and a few 3 meat treats. I grab a box of 15 pack hot pockets. The bacon and cheese flavor. I grab two boxes of Monkey Bread. I will tell you right now, if you’ve never had Monkey Bread before, you need to go and get you a box as soon as you finish reading this. My lord, it may be the best thing I’ve ever experienced. Next is the snack aisle. I get a bag of Honey BBQ chips, a thingamajig of mint oreos, a box of chocolate chip cookies, a few bags of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers, and a few boxes of Hershey’s bars. The last 3 items a, re for s’mores. Microwaved s'mores are the best. Next I head to the meat section. I enjoy a nice home cooked meal every few days, and the choice of meats is always the most important. I find a nice T-bone steak and put it in the cart. Then I look at the pork selections. I decide on a nice rack of barbecue slathered baby back ribs. Up next is the breakfast section. I go ahead and grab 3 boxes of Lucky Charms and a box of chocolate chip granola bars. Lastly, I head to grab a carton of milk and a 12 pack of root beer. I go to the check out and then head to the car.
I head home and unpack all of the groceries. After the groceries are put away, I take a bit to unwind. I sit around for a bit and listen to music over the speakers. Then I turn on the TV and the Xbox. I decide to play a little FIFA. I primarily play pro clubs. My character is a striker. After a few games, I switch to a bit of Call of Duty. I really only play Search and Destroy, but after getting annoyed with dying, I switch to Team Deathmatch. After I get tired of that, I change into my workout clothes and grab my cleats. Time to get some drills in at the Dallas Birddogs stadium.
I hop in the car and make my way to the stadium. I swipe my card in once again and head to the field. Some of the offensive guys are already there waiting. Our star QB, Ricky Stanzi, fellow rookie, John Riggins (who’s gonna be a monster in this league, just you wait), my teammate and mentor WR1 Ivan Toastovich, and stud Tight End, Anthony MacGuire. Comparing myself to all these absolute beasts of the field, I have no clue how I was appointed to the offensive captain. We start our unofficial practice with stretching. We do some warm up exercises and take two laps around the field. After the warm ups, we get straight into the drills. Ivan Toastovich and I take turns running deep routes and receiving passes from Ricky Stanzi. Anthony MacGuire practices his short to medium length routes. John Riggins works on receiving handoffs smoothly and bursting through offensive lines (which was really just the rest of us there lined up in place of the offensive line.) Toastovich and I practice lining up against each other, taking turns at the cornerback position. Neither of us turned out to be too good at it. I already knew I wasn’t as I’ve always had a bad habit of watching the quarterback and the ball instead of who I was guarding on defense. After a while, we wrap up practice and hit the showers.
After a nice and long shower, we decide to go out for a group dinner. We settle on the new seafood restaurant in town. It’s got pretty good reviews, so we figured we’d try it for ourselves. We meet up in the parking lot and head inside. The wait for a table is about 35 minutes so we sit outside and spend some time chatting. We talk about our close loss to the Tijuana Luchasnores, and how one holding call is the only thing between us and a 3-0 start to the season, we talk about how we dismantled the Bondage Beach Bozos, we talk about the scrapfest against the Snorefolk Seawolves, then we talk about the scare against Minnesota Grey Duds and how we need to make sure we bring that first half energy every week and every game, and we talk about how we have a real shot at winning the Ultimini this year. Finally, our table is ready and we make our way inside. For a drink, I have a Guinness Draught. For dinner I have the snow crab legs, with a baked potato and fries. After lots of joking around and a delicious dinner, we’re still all wide awake and game plan something else to do. We decide to head to the arcade.
We meet up at the arcade and head inside. We get our tickets at the front desk and then meet up to decide what we want to do first. We decide to start outside with putt-putt golf. Riggins turns out to be absolutely terrible. He admits he’s never played before and I end up teaching him how to hold the club and tee off. He finally gets the hang of it about 9 holes in. After multiple blunders, including shots getting knocked into the water, we finally finish the 18 hole game. After adding up everyone’s score, we concluded that Toastovich won, and I came in second. We decide to do Go Kart racing next. The line is fairly long, so the wait is probably 25 minutes. More chitter chatter, talking about which celebrities we have crushes on, what careers we’d have if we weren’t athletes, and what a dream vacation would look like for each of us. Finally, we’re next in line for the Go Karts. We all get our own Go Kart and wait for the dude who runs it to give us the green light. As soon as the light turned green, we took off. I had a reasonable sized lead until my Go Kart sputtered out and one of the employees had to come and restart it. I was pretty annoyed for a minute or so, but I decided that I can’t let that bother me. When it was over, I had no clue who won. Stanzi and MacGuire both claimed they won and bickered over it for like 5 minutes.
Next up, we schedule an appointment for a game of Laser Tag. The next game is in 15 minutes. We decide to grab something to drink while we wait. We all order a different shot at the bar. Personally, I get a Jager Bomb. We toast up to being lifelong teammates and friends, dominating the league, and bringing the Ultimini home to Dallas where it belongs. We knock back our drinks and I feel like I want another one, but I know better. Pro tip: Jager Bombs are extremely dangerous because they taste so good, but they hit you hard and fast. We sit around and talk some more while we wait for the time to go by. We talk about how we’re lucky to have great leadership and GMs. Rev and Madden, if you’re reading this, I speak for all the Dallas Birddogs when we say we love you guys. Much love. We finally get the text that our lazer tag game is ready.
We head to the room and the referee has us watch the video brief explaining the rules and how to play. We get a list of game modes to choose from, and the consensus choice was to play Free for All. The referee tells us that there’s 3, 6 minute rounds. We put on the vests and each find a respective spot in the big room. The first round starts and it turns into an all out war. All you see is green and red lasers around the room and the sound of vests vibrating and saying “You’ve been hit!” It’s a good time and, at the end of the first 6 minutes, the winner of the first round is announced: MacGuire. I was in second place by 50 points, and I’m determined to win the next round.
We go back to our respective starting points and start the second round. Another hard fought game ensues and by the end of the round, I’m drenched in sweat. All of us are. The winner is announced and this time it’s me finally. Tired and satisfied, I don’t try as hard in the third round. By the end of the round, MacGuire had won again. We take our vests off and put them back on the racks before heading out. We decide to play a couple arcade games before calling it a night. First we play the little football game where you throw the football into the holes for points. Stanzi smoked us out of the water, thankfully. I’d have my doubts about our QB1 if he didn’t, heh. Next we play the basketball game. We decided to play tournament style since there was only 2 of the systems. By the end of it, I had smoked everyone in front of me. Tired, we decide to call it a night, especially since it’s back to practice tomorrow. We walk to the parking lot and say our “see you tomorrow”s and leave.
I head home and put a box of monkey bread in the microwave. While I wait for that, I change into sweatpants and a t- shirt. I enjoy my plate of warm...delicious...scrumptious… wait where was I? Oh, yeah, I enjoy the plate of monkey bread and wash all my dishes for the day. I head back to the living room and play some more League of Legends with Coby. I call him on the phone while we play. He tells me about how his day went, and then I tell him about mine. We win a couple of ranked games, and then he goes off for bed for the night. I suppose I should get ready for the same.
I head to the bathroom and put on my anti-acne cream and wash my hair. I lay down for the night and drift off, ready for an actual day of practice the next day. And that, readers, is what it’s like to spend a day with me, Escanor Sama. I hope you all enjoyed it and join me again next time.
Word Count: 2573
Every morning I wake up at around 6 in the morning. I lay in bed for about 15 minutes and do nothing but contemplate what I’m doing with my life that justifies waking up at 6 in the morning, every morning. Then I roll over and grab my phone and unplug the charger. I scroll through Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and all the media articles to see what people are saying about me, the one and only Escanor Sama. Each morning I continue to be disappointed that there are no such posts or articles talking about me. Then I get myself in the mindset that I’ll give them no other choice but to notice me. This is about another 15 minute process.
At 6:30am, I’m finally rolling out of bed. I slip on my Mordecai and Rigby bedroom slippers. I shuffle all the way to the bathroom and lean over the sink and stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. I wash my face off with warm water and then brush my teeth for approximately two minutes, as per the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s recommendation. I return to my bedroom and put on my shorts and a t-shirt.
I head to the kitchen and start brewing my coffee. Nothing too fancy. I’ve never been one of those guys that needs a “specific” brand of coffee. While that’s brewing, I go into the kitchen pantry. I grab a bowl and my box of Lucky Charms. Then I get the milk out of the refrigerator. I fix a bowl and practically devour it. I get up to pour my daily cup of coffee, and add creamer and sugar until the coffee is literally lighter than me. I return to the kitchen table and pour my second bowl of cereal. I take the time to actually enjoy the second bowl and then put the bowl in the sink, put the cereal back in the pantry, and put the milk back in the refrigerator. I then take my coffee cup with me to the living room.
I turn on the TV and make sure the channel is on ESPN. I don’t actually watch TV, however, as I really only use it for the background noise. I grab my laptop and pull up League of Legends. As it loads up, I text my buddy, Coby, and tell him it’s time for our morning game. I invite him to the lobby and we start the queue. I play jungle as Master Yi. After a slow start as always, I completely took over the game at about 20 minutes in. We win the game at the 45 minute mark, and I finish with 34 kills, 7 deaths, and 12 assists. I close my laptop, put my now empty coffee cup in the sink, and get ready for my morning workout.
I hop in my car and drive downtown to the Dallas Birddogs’ stadium. Man, I absolutely love the energy I get whenever I just step foot near this place. Nothing short of electrifying. I swipe my card into the weight room and head inside. Today specifically is leg day. I do my stretches for about 5 minutes. I put my headphones in and decide to listen to the Montero album for today’s workout. Then I head over to the exercise bike. I typically do about 2 miles with moderate tension. Afterwards, I head to the squat bar. I load 250 pounds onto the bar. I do 5 sets of 15 repetitions. Next is deadlifting. I load 400 onto the deadlift bar. I do 5 sets of 10 repetitions. Next is the Leg Press Machine. I place the pin in the 250 pound weight. I do 5 sets of 10 repetitions. To finish my exercise for the day, I run at a light to moderate pace on the treadmill for about half a mile. I head to the showers and take a nice warm shower. I’ll be back later to do some actual football drills.
I head into town and go to the shopping center. I head into American Eagle and do some clothes shopping. I buy about 4 pairs of new jeans, a nice hoodie, and a couple pairs of boxers. I head out and then head to the food court for lunch. I decide on chinese food. I get the sesame chicken with white rice. I sit and end enjoy my lunch, playing games on my phone whilst eating. After I finish, I head to the grocery store.
Today is grocery day, and I head straight to the frozen section. I grab 10 frozen pizzas and throw them in the cart. I get multiple different flavors. A few pepperoni, a few combinations and a few 3 meat treats. I grab a box of 15 pack hot pockets. The bacon and cheese flavor. I grab two boxes of Monkey Bread. I will tell you right now, if you’ve never had Monkey Bread before, you need to go and get you a box as soon as you finish reading this. My lord, it may be the best thing I’ve ever experienced. Next is the snack aisle. I get a bag of Honey BBQ chips, a thingamajig of mint oreos, a box of chocolate chip cookies, a few bags of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers, and a few boxes of Hershey’s bars. The last 3 items a, re for s’mores. Microwaved s'mores are the best. Next I head to the meat section. I enjoy a nice home cooked meal every few days, and the choice of meats is always the most important. I find a nice T-bone steak and put it in the cart. Then I look at the pork selections. I decide on a nice rack of barbecue slathered baby back ribs. Up next is the breakfast section. I go ahead and grab 3 boxes of Lucky Charms and a box of chocolate chip granola bars. Lastly, I head to grab a carton of milk and a 12 pack of root beer. I go to the check out and then head to the car.
I head home and unpack all of the groceries. After the groceries are put away, I take a bit to unwind. I sit around for a bit and listen to music over the speakers. Then I turn on the TV and the Xbox. I decide to play a little FIFA. I primarily play pro clubs. My character is a striker. After a few games, I switch to a bit of Call of Duty. I really only play Search and Destroy, but after getting annoyed with dying, I switch to Team Deathmatch. After I get tired of that, I change into my workout clothes and grab my cleats. Time to get some drills in at the Dallas Birddogs stadium.
I hop in the car and make my way to the stadium. I swipe my card in once again and head to the field. Some of the offensive guys are already there waiting. Our star QB, Ricky Stanzi, fellow rookie, John Riggins (who’s gonna be a monster in this league, just you wait), my teammate and mentor WR1 Ivan Toastovich, and stud Tight End, Anthony MacGuire. Comparing myself to all these absolute beasts of the field, I have no clue how I was appointed to the offensive captain. We start our unofficial practice with stretching. We do some warm up exercises and take two laps around the field. After the warm ups, we get straight into the drills. Ivan Toastovich and I take turns running deep routes and receiving passes from Ricky Stanzi. Anthony MacGuire practices his short to medium length routes. John Riggins works on receiving handoffs smoothly and bursting through offensive lines (which was really just the rest of us there lined up in place of the offensive line.) Toastovich and I practice lining up against each other, taking turns at the cornerback position. Neither of us turned out to be too good at it. I already knew I wasn’t as I’ve always had a bad habit of watching the quarterback and the ball instead of who I was guarding on defense. After a while, we wrap up practice and hit the showers.
After a nice and long shower, we decide to go out for a group dinner. We settle on the new seafood restaurant in town. It’s got pretty good reviews, so we figured we’d try it for ourselves. We meet up in the parking lot and head inside. The wait for a table is about 35 minutes so we sit outside and spend some time chatting. We talk about our close loss to the Tijuana Luchasnores, and how one holding call is the only thing between us and a 3-0 start to the season, we talk about how we dismantled the Bondage Beach Bozos, we talk about the scrapfest against the Snorefolk Seawolves, then we talk about the scare against Minnesota Grey Duds and how we need to make sure we bring that first half energy every week and every game, and we talk about how we have a real shot at winning the Ultimini this year. Finally, our table is ready and we make our way inside. For a drink, I have a Guinness Draught. For dinner I have the snow crab legs, with a baked potato and fries. After lots of joking around and a delicious dinner, we’re still all wide awake and game plan something else to do. We decide to head to the arcade.
We meet up at the arcade and head inside. We get our tickets at the front desk and then meet up to decide what we want to do first. We decide to start outside with putt-putt golf. Riggins turns out to be absolutely terrible. He admits he’s never played before and I end up teaching him how to hold the club and tee off. He finally gets the hang of it about 9 holes in. After multiple blunders, including shots getting knocked into the water, we finally finish the 18 hole game. After adding up everyone’s score, we concluded that Toastovich won, and I came in second. We decide to do Go Kart racing next. The line is fairly long, so the wait is probably 25 minutes. More chitter chatter, talking about which celebrities we have crushes on, what careers we’d have if we weren’t athletes, and what a dream vacation would look like for each of us. Finally, we’re next in line for the Go Karts. We all get our own Go Kart and wait for the dude who runs it to give us the green light. As soon as the light turned green, we took off. I had a reasonable sized lead until my Go Kart sputtered out and one of the employees had to come and restart it. I was pretty annoyed for a minute or so, but I decided that I can’t let that bother me. When it was over, I had no clue who won. Stanzi and MacGuire both claimed they won and bickered over it for like 5 minutes.
Next up, we schedule an appointment for a game of Laser Tag. The next game is in 15 minutes. We decide to grab something to drink while we wait. We all order a different shot at the bar. Personally, I get a Jager Bomb. We toast up to being lifelong teammates and friends, dominating the league, and bringing the Ultimini home to Dallas where it belongs. We knock back our drinks and I feel like I want another one, but I know better. Pro tip: Jager Bombs are extremely dangerous because they taste so good, but they hit you hard and fast. We sit around and talk some more while we wait for the time to go by. We talk about how we’re lucky to have great leadership and GMs. Rev and Madden, if you’re reading this, I speak for all the Dallas Birddogs when we say we love you guys. Much love. We finally get the text that our lazer tag game is ready.
We head to the room and the referee has us watch the video brief explaining the rules and how to play. We get a list of game modes to choose from, and the consensus choice was to play Free for All. The referee tells us that there’s 3, 6 minute rounds. We put on the vests and each find a respective spot in the big room. The first round starts and it turns into an all out war. All you see is green and red lasers around the room and the sound of vests vibrating and saying “You’ve been hit!” It’s a good time and, at the end of the first 6 minutes, the winner of the first round is announced: MacGuire. I was in second place by 50 points, and I’m determined to win the next round.
We go back to our respective starting points and start the second round. Another hard fought game ensues and by the end of the round, I’m drenched in sweat. All of us are. The winner is announced and this time it’s me finally. Tired and satisfied, I don’t try as hard in the third round. By the end of the round, MacGuire had won again. We take our vests off and put them back on the racks before heading out. We decide to play a couple arcade games before calling it a night. First we play the little football game where you throw the football into the holes for points. Stanzi smoked us out of the water, thankfully. I’d have my doubts about our QB1 if he didn’t, heh. Next we play the basketball game. We decided to play tournament style since there was only 2 of the systems. By the end of it, I had smoked everyone in front of me. Tired, we decide to call it a night, especially since it’s back to practice tomorrow. We walk to the parking lot and say our “see you tomorrow”s and leave.
I head home and put a box of monkey bread in the microwave. While I wait for that, I change into sweatpants and a t- shirt. I enjoy my plate of warm...delicious...scrumptious… wait where was I? Oh, yeah, I enjoy the plate of monkey bread and wash all my dishes for the day. I head back to the living room and play some more League of Legends with Coby. I call him on the phone while we play. He tells me about how his day went, and then I tell him about mine. We win a couple of ranked games, and then he goes off for bed for the night. I suppose I should get ready for the same.
I head to the bathroom and put on my anti-acne cream and wash my hair. I lay down for the night and drift off, ready for an actual day of practice the next day. And that, readers, is what it’s like to spend a day with me, Escanor Sama. I hope you all enjoyed it and join me again next time.
Word Count: 2573