12-07-2021, 01:43 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2021, 05:01 AM by .simo. Edited 2 times in total.)
Here is my Space Jam roster - Goat Tank Edition
Quarterback: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Imagine this, Goat Tank as your quarterback. Pretty cool, right?
Running Back: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I mean, this is the pretty obvious choice here and anyone who thinks otherwise is just a hater.
Running Back #2: Zack DiNozzo, Orange County Otters
Look, I had to bring Goat Tank, Jr. along on the adventure.
Wide Receiver: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank is pretty fast and he can catch touchdown passes so this really isn't out of the question. Also, the Goat Tank to Goat Tank connection is pretty real. Great chemistry here with the quaterback.
Wide Reciever2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
He's not quite as good as WR1 but if you look at them they look pretty similar honestly.
Wide Reciever3: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This team is so loaded it's not even funny. It's almost like they were able to get the best player at every position and even able to do it at the 3rd wide receiver slot. Crazy.
Tight End: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank does have a pretty tight end, and he also likes pancakes, and he can catch the ball. This seems like the trifecta right here.
Offensive Tackle #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Back in Goat Tank's career he played defensive line and offensive line is basically the same thing except now you just have to get in people's way. That is basically the easiest job of all time.
Offensive Tackle #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
It's like a mirror image of the other side of the line except this is Goat Tank's good side.
Offensive Guard #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Back in the day Goat Tank used to be a security guard for the local mall while he was in college. He won employee of the month there once so this is a no brainer.
Offensive Guard #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Growing up Goat Tank had several siblings and had to guard his food, he was really good at doing that and is what led him to be the success story he is today.
Center: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank sometimes feels like he is the center of attention so it only makes sense that this would be a prime position for him to play at.
Now we can move over to the defensive side of the ball and for those of you that remember history, you'll see some pretty obvious names that will belong here.
Defensive Tackle: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank started as a defensive end and was one of the greatest ever seen in the DSFL. He may not excel here as much because he was way better in the Goat Tank 2016 edition than whatever the heck world we're in now where they made defensive tackles be worthless.
Defensive End #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank has the speed on the edge and will get to that alien QB faster than you can say Goat Tank
Defensive End #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
What happens when 2 Goat Tanks collide with each other into an alien quarterback? We're going to find out but you probably want to stand at least 1,000 miles away to not be in the blast zone.
Linebacker #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
If there was ever a time a man would fear anything in their life it would be a quarterback getting behind their center and looking up and seeing Goat Tank 4 yards away staring them down.
Linebacker #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Imagine the poor slot receiver or tight end that has to go up against this beast?
Linebacker #3: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This Goat Tank will be going after the running back and while the running back is running for the end zone thinking he has a touchdown he will realize after the fact that Goat Tank had stripped the ball and is already celebrating in the other end zone with all the other Goat Tanks.
Linebacker #4: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I'm honestly running out of stuff to say here... so GOAT TANK
Cornerback #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Honestly this team doesn't even really need a secondary here with the front 7 being a bunch of Goat Tanks so they will just kind of be chilling with some water bottles in case the Goat Tanks need it. But they'll never need it because Goat Tanks don't get tired.
Cornerback #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This Goat Tank is just sitting back tweeting and not getting paid for it.
Free Safety: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
#FreeGoatTank on Twitter
Strong Safety: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I mean this position has the word strong in it so of course Goat Tank belongs here.
Kickers:
LOL give me a real position
So here's the full lineup for those who don't want to read everything above
QB: Goat Tank
RB1: Goat Tank
RB2: Zack DiNozzo
WR1: Goat Tank
WR2: Goat Tank
WR3: Goat Tank
LT: Goat Tank
LG: Goat Tank
C: Goat Tank
RG: Goat Tank
RT: Goat Tank
LE: Goat Tank
RE: Goat Tank
DT: Goat Tank
LOLB: Goat Tank
MLB1: Goat Tank
MLB2: Goat Tank
ROLB: Goat Tank
CB1: Goat Tank
CB2: Goat Tank
FS: Goat Tank
SS: Goat Tank
Kicker/Punter: We don't need this
So you're probably asking how can I have a team full of Goat Tank's? Well, last season and the season before I spent a considerable amount of time and money in the OCO bank spending my weekly training on learning how to mate tanks and goats together and the operation was pretty successful. Just ask the banker @PMoney
Quarterback: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Imagine this, Goat Tank as your quarterback. Pretty cool, right?
Running Back: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I mean, this is the pretty obvious choice here and anyone who thinks otherwise is just a hater.
Running Back #2: Zack DiNozzo, Orange County Otters
Look, I had to bring Goat Tank, Jr. along on the adventure.
Wide Receiver: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank is pretty fast and he can catch touchdown passes so this really isn't out of the question. Also, the Goat Tank to Goat Tank connection is pretty real. Great chemistry here with the quaterback.
Wide Reciever2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
He's not quite as good as WR1 but if you look at them they look pretty similar honestly.
Wide Reciever3: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This team is so loaded it's not even funny. It's almost like they were able to get the best player at every position and even able to do it at the 3rd wide receiver slot. Crazy.
Tight End: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank does have a pretty tight end, and he also likes pancakes, and he can catch the ball. This seems like the trifecta right here.
Offensive Tackle #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Back in Goat Tank's career he played defensive line and offensive line is basically the same thing except now you just have to get in people's way. That is basically the easiest job of all time.
Offensive Tackle #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
It's like a mirror image of the other side of the line except this is Goat Tank's good side.
Offensive Guard #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Back in the day Goat Tank used to be a security guard for the local mall while he was in college. He won employee of the month there once so this is a no brainer.
Offensive Guard #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Growing up Goat Tank had several siblings and had to guard his food, he was really good at doing that and is what led him to be the success story he is today.
Center: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank sometimes feels like he is the center of attention so it only makes sense that this would be a prime position for him to play at.
Now we can move over to the defensive side of the ball and for those of you that remember history, you'll see some pretty obvious names that will belong here.
Defensive Tackle: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank started as a defensive end and was one of the greatest ever seen in the DSFL. He may not excel here as much because he was way better in the Goat Tank 2016 edition than whatever the heck world we're in now where they made defensive tackles be worthless.
Defensive End #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Goat Tank has the speed on the edge and will get to that alien QB faster than you can say Goat Tank
Defensive End #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
What happens when 2 Goat Tanks collide with each other into an alien quarterback? We're going to find out but you probably want to stand at least 1,000 miles away to not be in the blast zone.
Linebacker #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
If there was ever a time a man would fear anything in their life it would be a quarterback getting behind their center and looking up and seeing Goat Tank 4 yards away staring them down.
Linebacker #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Imagine the poor slot receiver or tight end that has to go up against this beast?
Linebacker #3: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This Goat Tank will be going after the running back and while the running back is running for the end zone thinking he has a touchdown he will realize after the fact that Goat Tank had stripped the ball and is already celebrating in the other end zone with all the other Goat Tanks.
Linebacker #4: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I'm honestly running out of stuff to say here... so GOAT TANK
Cornerback #1: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
Honestly this team doesn't even really need a secondary here with the front 7 being a bunch of Goat Tanks so they will just kind of be chilling with some water bottles in case the Goat Tanks need it. But they'll never need it because Goat Tanks don't get tired.
Cornerback #2: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
This Goat Tank is just sitting back tweeting and not getting paid for it.
Free Safety: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
#FreeGoatTank on Twitter
Strong Safety: Goat Tank, Berlin fire Salamanders
I mean this position has the word strong in it so of course Goat Tank belongs here.
Kickers:
LOL give me a real position
So here's the full lineup for those who don't want to read everything above
QB: Goat Tank
RB1: Goat Tank
RB2: Zack DiNozzo
WR1: Goat Tank
WR2: Goat Tank
WR3: Goat Tank
LT: Goat Tank
LG: Goat Tank
C: Goat Tank
RG: Goat Tank
RT: Goat Tank
LE: Goat Tank
RE: Goat Tank
DT: Goat Tank
LOLB: Goat Tank
MLB1: Goat Tank
MLB2: Goat Tank
ROLB: Goat Tank
CB1: Goat Tank
CB2: Goat Tank
FS: Goat Tank
SS: Goat Tank
Kicker/Punter: We don't need this
So you're probably asking how can I have a team full of Goat Tank's? Well, last season and the season before I spent a considerable amount of time and money in the OCO bank spending my weekly training on learning how to mate tanks and goats together and the operation was pretty successful. Just ask the banker @PMoney