08-18-2023, 03:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-19-2023, 01:29 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 1 time in total.)
Hank Mardukas took the podium today in front of the soon to be renamed New Orleans Secondline stadium to address the sprawling fanbase in front of him. Recently though these fans have been bubbling with a low level of annoyance with the 2nd year Tight End starter as he has been under performing on the field, based on pre-season predictions. Between weeks 5 and 6 Hank totalled three catches out of 13 passes for 18 yards. Talking heads from across the league hyped up season 43 as a true breakout year for the former Yellow Jacket, but so far it looks like the window may be pushed into later seasons.
Addressing the crowd Hank looked a little forgone, slight circles under his eyes as if he had literally lost sleep over his poor performance. After a short silence Hank began:
“Friends, family, adoring Secondline fans, firstly I want to apologize for my poor performance over the last several weeks. It is no one’s fault but mine. I wish I could say there was something serious keeping me from reaching my maximum potential. The truth of the matter is after week 4 Bruce White (@toofpete) took me for some post game beignets at Cafe Du Monde and damn I couldn’t stop eating them. I think I have gained 15 pounds in the past two weeks. I am not feeling anywhere near as light on my feet as I was at the start of the season. Thankfully though I have gotten a handle on those heavenly fried delights and have cut them out of my diet. I’d like to thank the staff we have here and for all those close to me as I struggled through this endeavor. Looking forward I am excited to get back in the gym, shed a few pounds and get back to being a threat on the field.”
With that Mardukas stepped back from the podium and NOLA GMs @"baz1757" and @MobiausGrander shared a few words discussing their plans for Hank going forward when questions by the press corps. Below are a few excerpts from their Q&A sessions:
Baz: “Hank is going to catch the ball, end of story. He has hands doesn’t he”
Mobi: “Hank is getting 9 touchdowns this season and baz will write a nice op-ed about Hank’s performance”
After that everyone shuffled off the stage and the press conference wrapped up.
What do you think of Hank’s excuse? Now that he has addressed it do you think things will be different going forward? Between you and me, I’m not so sure.
Addressing the crowd Hank looked a little forgone, slight circles under his eyes as if he had literally lost sleep over his poor performance. After a short silence Hank began:
“Friends, family, adoring Secondline fans, firstly I want to apologize for my poor performance over the last several weeks. It is no one’s fault but mine. I wish I could say there was something serious keeping me from reaching my maximum potential. The truth of the matter is after week 4 Bruce White (@toofpete) took me for some post game beignets at Cafe Du Monde and damn I couldn’t stop eating them. I think I have gained 15 pounds in the past two weeks. I am not feeling anywhere near as light on my feet as I was at the start of the season. Thankfully though I have gotten a handle on those heavenly fried delights and have cut them out of my diet. I’d like to thank the staff we have here and for all those close to me as I struggled through this endeavor. Looking forward I am excited to get back in the gym, shed a few pounds and get back to being a threat on the field.”
With that Mardukas stepped back from the podium and NOLA GMs @"baz1757" and @MobiausGrander shared a few words discussing their plans for Hank going forward when questions by the press corps. Below are a few excerpts from their Q&A sessions:
Baz: “Hank is going to catch the ball, end of story. He has hands doesn’t he”
Mobi: “Hank is getting 9 touchdowns this season and baz will write a nice op-ed about Hank’s performance”
After that everyone shuffled off the stage and the press conference wrapped up.
What do you think of Hank’s excuse? Now that he has addressed it do you think things will be different going forward? Between you and me, I’m not so sure.