(S47) PT #4 - Identity Theft Is Not A Joke

[ztarwarz]

I assume I can't just say "Big Slammu, so I can be the best player of all time at my position and also get 5 rings"? Or Jay Cue Jr. as the single best player all time. Because I feel like those are the easy picks if I'm just going to put myself in a player's career. If I wanted to choose another player who I'd love to swap with, it'd probably be Notso Smart on Arizona. I still have an affinity with Arizona due to my first player's career on the team, them being very good and likely to get me rings, and Smart in particular being the oldest and weakest link on the secondary. Another option would be The Red Panda on San Jose, or Bourtol Halcolmsby on Baltimore, but I don't have as deep a connection to Baltimore as I do to Arizona and I have no connection to San Jose whatsoever.

[omg]

As a victim of identity theft, Seer Ial would never swap places with another player. Three years ago, Seer's identity was stolen by a rampant ne'er-do-well, who hacked into his bank account and used his name in a string of heinous crimes against humanity. Seer lost over $5,000 due to this evil person's actions, and the criminal even stamped his name at every crime scene in blood as he murdered 5 of Seer's classmates. It was an insanely tragic situation, and were it not due to the insistence of Sheriff Giles Corey that Seer was an innocent man, there is a very likely scenario that Seer would have been locked away in jail for all eternity. Had the ever vigilante Lookout Sarah Bishop not catch this heinous villain in the act of killing the 5th victim, Seer would not be here today. Because of this, Seer knows that he can only be himself, and that any attempt to imitate anyone else would simply be an insult to both his character, and the character that he intends to imitate.

That said, there is an opportunity to switch with Big Tractor @Nectorist and show him how to catch a damn ball. How the hell you miss 10 passes in one game as a possession receiver bruv?

[Fangorn]

Just in terms of situation I’d have to swap places with my guy Reginald Shrubbery.. he’s been riding a wave fo’ sho’ but I'd unleash a tidal wave of thunder that'd rock the very foundations of the league! If I had the opportunities that dude had I’d take those carries and turn 'em into touchdowns faster than you can say "Hammerfall." We wouldn’t be 6-5 with my ferocity and raw power. I'd be leavin’ defenders in my wake, tremblin’ in fear at the mere sight of the Hammer barreling towards 'em! The Otters would be 3 wins better off on my sweat alone. I ain’t some bush with a charmin’ first name.

And let's talk stats. You think Shrubbery's numbers are impressive? Ha! Just wait 'til you see what the Hammer can do. While Shrubbery might've racked up a thousand yards rushing already, I'd double, no, triple those numbers in half the time! Ain't no defense gonna know what hit 'em when they're faced with the unstoppable force!

Now, as for Shrubbery stepping into my shoes, well, let me tell you, he'd have to bring more than just fancy stats to keep up with the intensity and ferocity that I bring. An’ his receivin’ stats are paltry. I be ready to go 1,000 yards rushin’ and receivin’. Sure, he might've won Offensive Player of the Year, but he ain’t the Hammer. I’d be MV mu’f’in P.

So listen up, Shrub, because the Hammer's got a message for you! You might be the golden boy with all the fancy stats and shiny trophies, but let me remind you who the real force to be reckoned with is on this team. While you're out there strutting around like you own the field, I'll be waitin’, biding my time until I'm unleashed like a raging storm!

You think you're the top dog, huh? Well, I've got news for you – the Hammer's coming for that spot, and when I do, you'll be nothing more than a footnote in the history books. So enjoy your time in the spotlight while you can fancy man, because sooner or later, the Hammer's gonna come crashing down!

And mark my words, when that opportunity finally comes, you better believe I'll be ready to seize it with both hands and let the World enjoy the real Reggie Rumble!

[NUCK]

SHL

[Opera_Phantom]

If i could just swap positions with anyone on the league, i would trade places with Howard Coward. I am a sucker for doing nothing or close to it, so what is better than just sometimes getting a ball on the chest, make a couple of runs until some slow defender catches up? And then riding the coattails of your young superstar QB for the rest of the drives? Easiest job ever if you ask me. And getting paid to just sit there and look at the game developing? What a freaking dream my friends.
And no, i would not do anything differently than him, i would be the exact same. Why play hard when not hard gets you the same amount of pay? It is not like this has performance based contract clauses, so you just need to be smart with your snaps and be fine. And rich. Rich is very very important on this.

(155 words)

[Jimi64]

If I was forced to switch positions, I would switch with our current starting quarterback, Billy Van Goff. I chose our quarterback because I always wanted to play the quarterback position either in ISFL or DSFL, but I never wanted to necessarily deal with the stress and responsibility of being one. I did consider being a quarterback just for the DSFL for this player, but I think out of just pure laziness I decided against it. I didn't want to have to deal with position swapping and so on. Now that I've proved that I can still max earn, being a DSFL quarterback is definitely a potential possibility for the future. I doubt I could do it in the ISFL though, since most teams have multiple generations of quarterbacks planned out at once, making breaking into that position very difficult. Playing a position like quarterback can bring a lot of thrill, because you are the most important player on the field, the main reason why a team will win or lose. That can create great joy but also heavy disappointment, depending on how the sim treats your player that day.

[captainsb]

If I can have a magic wand and swap with a player and position, it would be with my teammate and leader in Chicago, Triceratops! He was a big offensive lineman that transitioned to running back. He leads our team as both a leader and star running back. The key thing that it would be cool for Joey is he gets to be the same sized big fella on the offensive side instead of the the defense. And the running back is similar to a linebacker where they stay behind the line and is versatile playing against both the pass and rush but also can specialize. But also, as cool as Joey Battle's name is Triceratops is just also a cool name and one he wouldn't mind having as an ID. Joey would be able to enjoy a cool night out at clubs and bars with being called "Tops" and have a Gronk like life. He'll be able to enjoy a party life while being a start at the same time.

[wetwilleh]

If I could swap places with any player in the league it would be Tyler Higbee II. Higbee, like myself, is a great yapper so nothing would be too out of line if we continue talking our usual amount. It would also place me as one of the rare elite tight ends in the league which would be interesting to see of course. Higbee was drafted in the 3rd round to the Honolulu Hahalua which would be an interesting team switch as they are currently in a tank season but are expected to have some major players pulled up next season in a young and growing team. I think I would do good in Higbee's place although it would take some getting used to finding my dot on the offense. On the other side, I think Higbee would need a major adjustment as going from a vertical threat TE who primarily catches and blocks to an LB that has to tackle and read the offense must be hard to get used to off the bat. I don't think I would change much from where Higbee is projected aside from putting more strength in my new player as a strong tight end would be interesting to see in my opinion.

[bfry]

In general, I am still quite new to this league.  I do not know who the stars of the league are and that would likely be the easiest answer to this questions.  Who is the star running back in the ISFL right now?  Boom, that is who I pick as my player to trade places with.  I wanted to take a different approach to the question and think about how I could learn the most about the league during my time trading places with a particular person in the league.  I feel like the roles in these types of leagues that you get the most exposure to all the important stuff in a league is at the General Manager position.  You are responsible for building the team, keeping it happy and hopefully winning some games along the way.  That said, I would trade spots with Whovian and gm the bucs with Triceracop.  I may be showing my lack of knowledge and the fact that Whovian is the better GM but it is a chance I’m willing to take.  During my time as GM, I would make myself quarterback for a throw away game just for fun though.  Then I would likely get fired.

[roquefort]

If I could swap with any player in the league, it'd have to be that USELESS. IDIOT. Luigi Lanikai (@IceBear32 ) - this guy is the CB1 on the Honolulu Hahalua, and with him leading our secondary we've become a laughing stock. Opposing teams call us the HAHA-lua. I hate it. I can't stand it. He's supposed to be a top defensiveback in the league, yet week after week he gets scorched. It's unbelievable. We finally began to put together some momentum after DOMINATING the yeti ( eat it @shahdude ) - and what does Luigi do? Get BURNT by every receiver in the league since. If I was played at CB1 we wouldn't lose a game. In fact we haven't lost a game with me at CB1. I'd put up 2 ints a game. My GMs would be so fat and happy with all of the cheese I'd force down their gluttonous throats. They'd drown in the wine of my victories. This idyllic reality is naught but a fantasy, and I am once more forced to toil deep within our depth chart and watch this fat Italian snow-ursus continue to crap the bed.