I've already revealed that the existing mascot for London is the evil, malt beverage-consuming frat boy Derek. He is not even in a good mascot costume; it looks like it was bought from Five Below or Wish or some shit. He goes by the name of Royal, and we’re glad to see his time come to a close.
In comes Roar. Roar is synonymous for bestial vigor. He has a commanding aura when he walks in the room. When he bangs his drum in the London stadium, all fans clap or bang the stands with their feet in unison simply out of adoring respect. What makes Roar special compared to the other “mascots” around the league? Roar once took a trip to the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just called the Islands. Roar saved a bus full of elementary school children before it fell off a bridge with just his bare paws. Roar enjoys a classy single malt scotch neat with just a drop of water to bring out the flavor of the spirit. Roar is what a mascot should be – the model citizen of animalistic football representation in the DSFL. He is what all other mascots should aspire to be, and is a role model for all.
In comes Roar. Roar is synonymous for bestial vigor. He has a commanding aura when he walks in the room. When he bangs his drum in the London stadium, all fans clap or bang the stands with their feet in unison simply out of adoring respect. What makes Roar special compared to the other “mascots” around the league? Roar once took a trip to the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just called the Islands. Roar saved a bus full of elementary school children before it fell off a bridge with just his bare paws. Roar enjoys a classy single malt scotch neat with just a drop of water to bring out the flavor of the spirit. Roar is what a mascot should be – the model citizen of animalistic football representation in the DSFL. He is what all other mascots should aspire to be, and is a role model for all.