Task 1
I want to go way back. Back to the start of the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. Fourteen teams entered the battlefield of battle. Every team had the same goal. About 10 of them had a chance. About 4 of them had a legitimate chance. This season was defined by shock, awe, surprises, and intrigue. And also, my busted-ass season prediction bracket in which I banked heavily on the Sabercats and Butchers, both of whom were doo doo this season. So, let us talk about the teams who did vie for the top prize in the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. The Arizona Outlaws were the favorites, for many, heading into the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. After showing some early season rust, dropping their first 2 contests, the Outlaws went on a massive nine-game winning streak. They were knocking fools left and down with their high-scoring offense and crushing defense. Their efforts made them both the best offensive and defensive team in the ASFC. Right under them were the Silverbacks of New York, New York. They finished with a record of 10-6, 10-6. But what really, really made them stand out over every other team was their excellent home record, record of 7-1. Man, it must take a real juggernaut to beat those guys at home. I wonder if that will become important later on. Anyway, the third team were the sexy Austin Copperheads. Many lowballed their predictions for the sneks over the offseason. And to my delight, they were all wrong. Although they nearly squandered an excellent 8-2 start by losing 5 of their remaining 6 games, they were able to narrowly make the playoffs against the streaking Hahalua due to a head-to-head tiebreaker. Gotta love another technicality.
On the other side of the league, the Berlin Fire Salamanders were finally having the season they were destined to have for what feels like forever. It was the perfect storm for Berlin as they finished with an excellent record of 12-4. Directly under them was the worst team in the whole freaking ISFL and the official ruiners of the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play: the Yellowknife Wraiths. If you thought you heard someone vomiting there, it was me. I always vomit when I hear that team’s name. Yuck. Anyway, the Pissflaps finished 11-5 and were elevated by winning their last 3 games, all of which were against teams over .500 with two of them also being in the playoffs. Rounding out the caboose were the Sarasota Sailfish. The reigning-champs wanted nothing more than to extend their reign as champs. They experienced the opposite of what the Smellboys faced late in the season by dropping their final three regular season outings. Despite that, they were able to comfortably make the playoffs and sought to bring back the Bexardi Trophy to the wettest city in Florida. That’s not a sex joke. That city is always wet. It could be 100 degrees with no rain for a month and there would still be puddles. Anyway, let’s see how the playoffs went, eh?
In the NSFC wildcard matchup, the Sarasota Sailfish squared off against the Yellowknife Wraiths. While many considered Sarasota to be the upset, the Ghasts were able to take the contest by two scores and moved on to the next round with a 23-14 win. The much more interesting, and less stinky, matchup was taking place in the other conference. The Copperheads were taking on the NY Silverbacks in New York, New York. Silverbacks had only lost once on their home turf the whole season. It was going to take a lot for a win to suffice for the sneks. Fortunately, a win...sufficed….wish I had a better way of wrapping that around. Austin narrowly took the contest 21-18 after some great offense and defense late. The Buttjerks beat Berlin in the next round but that doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about Austin vs. Arizona. Another matchup where Austin had their backs against the wall. Arizona was considered to be the title-favorite by many at the start of the season. But the Copperheads don’t play cards with Outlaws. They play Jenga. And down went the Outlaws 16-13 to bring Austin to Ultimus….and I’m not going to relive what happened there. Yeah, the Rectum Rashes won. It was a tight game but I’m not even gonna give them the time of day. They’re so smelly, they think their locker room is a perfume store. It was a fun season for the Copperheads. After everyone thought we’d suck, we proved a lot of people wrong. While we were so damn close to blowing it in the end, we were able to stride through and made it pretty far. Definitely a season to remember and, by far, the best I’ve ever had in the ISFL. Hats off to the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play.
I want to go way back. Back to the start of the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. Fourteen teams entered the battlefield of battle. Every team had the same goal. About 10 of them had a chance. About 4 of them had a legitimate chance. This season was defined by shock, awe, surprises, and intrigue. And also, my busted-ass season prediction bracket in which I banked heavily on the Sabercats and Butchers, both of whom were doo doo this season. So, let us talk about the teams who did vie for the top prize in the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. The Arizona Outlaws were the favorites, for many, heading into the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play. After showing some early season rust, dropping their first 2 contests, the Outlaws went on a massive nine-game winning streak. They were knocking fools left and down with their high-scoring offense and crushing defense. Their efforts made them both the best offensive and defensive team in the ASFC. Right under them were the Silverbacks of New York, New York. They finished with a record of 10-6, 10-6. But what really, really made them stand out over every other team was their excellent home record, record of 7-1. Man, it must take a real juggernaut to beat those guys at home. I wonder if that will become important later on. Anyway, the third team were the sexy Austin Copperheads. Many lowballed their predictions for the sneks over the offseason. And to my delight, they were all wrong. Although they nearly squandered an excellent 8-2 start by losing 5 of their remaining 6 games, they were able to narrowly make the playoffs against the streaking Hahalua due to a head-to-head tiebreaker. Gotta love another technicality.
On the other side of the league, the Berlin Fire Salamanders were finally having the season they were destined to have for what feels like forever. It was the perfect storm for Berlin as they finished with an excellent record of 12-4. Directly under them was the worst team in the whole freaking ISFL and the official ruiners of the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play: the Yellowknife Wraiths. If you thought you heard someone vomiting there, it was me. I always vomit when I hear that team’s name. Yuck. Anyway, the Pissflaps finished 11-5 and were elevated by winning their last 3 games, all of which were against teams over .500 with two of them also being in the playoffs. Rounding out the caboose were the Sarasota Sailfish. The reigning-champs wanted nothing more than to extend their reign as champs. They experienced the opposite of what the Smellboys faced late in the season by dropping their final three regular season outings. Despite that, they were able to comfortably make the playoffs and sought to bring back the Bexardi Trophy to the wettest city in Florida. That’s not a sex joke. That city is always wet. It could be 100 degrees with no rain for a month and there would still be puddles. Anyway, let’s see how the playoffs went, eh?
In the NSFC wildcard matchup, the Sarasota Sailfish squared off against the Yellowknife Wraiths. While many considered Sarasota to be the upset, the Ghasts were able to take the contest by two scores and moved on to the next round with a 23-14 win. The much more interesting, and less stinky, matchup was taking place in the other conference. The Copperheads were taking on the NY Silverbacks in New York, New York. Silverbacks had only lost once on their home turf the whole season. It was going to take a lot for a win to suffice for the sneks. Fortunately, a win...sufficed….wish I had a better way of wrapping that around. Austin narrowly took the contest 21-18 after some great offense and defense late. The Buttjerks beat Berlin in the next round but that doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about Austin vs. Arizona. Another matchup where Austin had their backs against the wall. Arizona was considered to be the title-favorite by many at the start of the season. But the Copperheads don’t play cards with Outlaws. They play Jenga. And down went the Outlaws 16-13 to bring Austin to Ultimus….and I’m not going to relive what happened there. Yeah, the Rectum Rashes won. It was a tight game but I’m not even gonna give them the time of day. They’re so smelly, they think their locker room is a perfume store. It was a fun season for the Copperheads. After everyone thought we’d suck, we proved a lot of people wrong. While we were so damn close to blowing it in the end, we were able to stride through and made it pretty far. Definitely a season to remember and, by far, the best I’ve ever had in the ISFL. Hats off to the 28th season of International Simulation Football League play.
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