(S2) - Weekend PT #5 - Team Bonding

[Jala]

[Jiggly_333]

In the mean time, many of the Otters players go to Leroy Jenkins locker and discuss the cuteness of Allison Brie.

Official Statement from Leroy Jenkins:

"I love my wife."



Official Statement from wife, Dakota Reid:

"I'd hit that."

[HENDRIX]

Food is great at bringing people together, and the Baltimore Hawks eat a lot of it. Every Tuesday after practice the team congregates at the famous Baltimore Surf and Turf Buffet. The twenty nine man roster engulfs thousands of dollars worth of lobster and steak. The restaurant has grown used to this weekly routine and makes sure to have extra staff on hand to deal with the starving roster full of giants. The bill is taken care of by the rookies, this year they are lucky because they make up the majority of the team, but in future years the rookies on the team will not be so lucky. This restaurant is actually one of the places the famous TV food personality Adam Richman undertook an eating challenge. That challenge consisted of consuming a 50 ounce steak, three lobsters, and some sides. Only two people have ever completed that challenge out of about two thousand attempts. One is the aforementioned Adam Richman and the other was the Hawks own 350 pound monster Brokk Lee. Usually after the dinner the team hangs out at the pool hall or bowling alley for a bit to digest the feast before heading home. (200)

[tlk742]

They say you learn a lot about a person by their music taste. Normally, when traveling to and from games, each player will have their own headphones with their own music. Instead, the Yellowknife Wraiths decided that after loss #1, the team needed to get on the same page, and the only way to do that was with everyone’s music selection. Not a single one was what you predicted. Smallwood had only a cappella versions of rock songs. After about song 3, the team wanted to kill him, so they shut that off. Bork went next. You’d think the Scandinavian upbringing, there’d be some metal in there. No one is really sure, it may have been metal, but the use of only 1930s instruments (because they had the best sound he claimed) made people remiss about the a cappella. Garden decided, that as a leader, he should step up next. Whale songs; it was just the sounds of whales. That lasted two minutes. Marcus Kane decided an intervention was necessary and plugged his music in. Yodeling, the hit list owner loves his yodeling. 25 minutes had passed in total, and yet six players were already shown to have music that wasn’t just unbearable, it was uncannily weird. Maddox stepped up, in hopes to show that his music was normal, after all, the man loves his clubs, but no, it was Jonathan Cage. After taking a breather in 4:33, the team decided that another change was needed. Orosz started out promising, when he said this music was the Soul of Chicago, until people realized it was literally his recordings of the sounds he heard in Chicago, no commentary, just things like a train passing by. The team kept going for another 25 minutes, Nuck’s weird songs about the earth being flat and Cushing’s list of national anthems of other countries didn’t help either. Finally, some normalcy was found when Akselsen stepped up. The Broadway show tunes may not have been anyone else’s first pick, but at least the whole team sang along, to all the classics.

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[Kronen]

Little known to the rest of the league, but the Otters are by far the best bonders in the league. No other team is as good as bonding as the Otters. Their expertise with epoxy is unmatched among the other teams. Nary a surface does not have some sort of bonded addition. Hooks are in every single locker, firmly secured with a high quality bond material. We're not talking low class bulk bought 3M contact strips. We're talking about high class paint to plastic or metal to plastic epoxy. Every single one of these contact points will require a dedicated acid bath to remove. Where hooks are unnecessary, pieces of motivational art hang on bonded fixtures. Who needs nails?! Screws are scrubs. Leave those plebian devices to noobs like the Outlaws. Only bonding for us Otters.

Now this is not without issue. Our plyometric boxes are of course all bonded together. Agnus Winchester has broken many a twenty four inch plyo box by jumping on it. Wood to wood epoxy hasn't advanced to the point that it can support that much of a break point. But never fear, the Otters are supporting researching into higher quality bonding material! Soon the world will come to respect Otter brand bond as the best quality bonding source in the world. All the world will respect our bonding! No one will ever doubt the bonds of the Otters again!!

[AsylumParty]

For two seasons players within the Outlaw organizations, and the league abroad, have marveled at the camaraderie shared between Outlaws players. Fans across the world are left wondering: How do the Arizona Outlaws maintain such a healthy locker room chemistry?

The answer begins well before the first snap of training camp. In fact, it begins in the middle of August deep in the Mojave desert where the Outlaws, veterans and rookies alike, gather for a “voluntary” team bonding experiment in the harsh and unrelenting heat and whipping sand. From there the players imbibe on nearly unthinkable amounts of psychedelic drugs and begin coming up with mantras the team will chant before big games. The mastermind of this scheme? None other than Defensive Line stalwart Arbin Asipi. “Asipi in the locker room? A pretty laid-back dude. Asipi in the desert? My god, that’s a mad man” said one Outlaws player who preferred to keep his name anonymous due to fear for his safety on next year’s retreat.

If you ask any of the Outlaws players for specifics on what happens during the trip, you’re likely to receive a cold look and a vague response. “It… Brings us closer together, I don’t know how much more I can say” was Quarterback King Bronko’s answer. The most specific answer came from Dustin Evans who said “It was a wonderful trip, I learned a lot about myself… Primarily I learned how much I love Pink Floyd, have you ever listened to the Dark Side of the Moon while tripping balls in the Mojave desert? No? Well, get out there and do that and then get back to me.”

Well whatever goes down out there, it certainly seems to be working. The Outlaws are at 6-2 and sitting pretty atop their conference as we head towards the sunset of Season 2 in the NSFL.


Word Count: 309

I know this is a joke, but have you ever read stealing fire? Google's CEO was chosen because he agreed to go to Burning Man to bond with the team haha. They just tripped in the middle of the desert and wanted to know if he could get along with everyone lol.

[4D Chess]

I know this is a joke, but have you ever read stealing fire? Google's CEO was chosen because he agreed to go to Burning Man to bond with the team haha. They just tripped in the middle of the desert and wanted to know if he could get along with everyone lol.

Lol no I never have, sounds interesting though.

[Rabidsponge21]

[AsylumParty]

There's nothing that screams, "this is going to make us closer" like putting your dignity on the line, and in the hands of your teammates. By this, I mean that the Outlaws like to get together and perform bizarre and embarrassing tasks that are fed to them through a subtle earpiece. On the other side are the teammates of whoever's turn it is and they will coerce their teammate into preforming stunts like asking strangers embarrassing questions, or acting obviously disturbed in front of crowds.

When one of the teammates racks up a certain number of losses (by refusal to do a particular task) they face a punishment. Punishments usually are tailor made for each individual. For instance, Jayce Tuck is terrified of sharks, so the team naturally decided to drop him into a shark cage which was tied to the back of a boat in the middle of the ocean. Of course, blood was used to attract the maximum number of sharks, and Tuck was forced to endure the torment for a painful five minutes.

They got the idea from a popular television show called Impractical Jokers. The Outlaws aren't sinking quite the same production cost, but it's still fun nonetheless, and believe it or not, it helps their confidence a ton. By making themselves so vulnerable in front of the team, they really have nothing left to hide afterwards.

[iamslm22]

The offensive line in Baltimore is famously close. Being inextricably linked since all being drafted in the same year. Between playing video games, cards, and paper basketball the line hangs out all the time. But the biggest bonding between 5 dudes who weigh over 1500 pounds total is obviously eating. The amount of all you can eat buffets that the Hawks Offensive line has been banned from is insane. Being in Maryland obviously the Hawks love going to crab places. It is quite a sight to see 6'6 380 pound men destroying tiny little crab legs. But the Hawks do not discriminate against which type of food. All you can eat sushi, pizza, and any type of food the Hawks O Line loves doing it.

Another type of bonding the Hawks love, as mentioned earlier is card games. The most common game is spades. The pairings vary, but it really gets the competitive juices flowing. You'll frequently hear people screaming at each other over it, and shit talking between all of the offensive lineman and the other players on the team. The team has been extremely close this year, and no doubt it has contributed to the success of the team. Spirits are high in Baltimore.

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