*The Intercontinental Ballistic Missile

[xenosthelegend]

I see there is an upcoming chess tournament, and I don't want everyone to be clueless. This will be a tutorial on a chess opening that is guaranteed to work even against grandmasters.

White begins with pawn to e4.

Black responds with the Scandinavian defense, pawn to d5, attacking our pawn.

Instead of capturing the pawn, white plays knight to f3 developing a piece.

Black accepts the material, and takes our pawn, now attacking our knight.

White plays knight to g5, attacking black's pawn.

Black then plays knight to f6, defending the pawn and developing a piece.

White plays pawn d3, offering another pawn.

Black accepts the material sacrifice and takes white's pawn.

White responds by capturing the pawn with bishop to d3.

Black attacks white's knight with pawn to h6.

White plays knight captures f7, forking the rook and queen.

Black has no choice but to capture white's knight or else he would lose significant material.

White then plays bishop to g6 check, the bishop attacks the entire corridor, not allowing black's king to retreat.

Black accepts the bishop, and now leaves their queen completely exposed.

The next move is obvious.

We can launch an RT-2PM2 Topol-M cold launched three stage solid propellant silo based intercontinental ballistic missile to attack black's remaining pieces.

However, if you are a beginner at chess you can use an anti-tank guided missile instead. For this example we will use BGM-71 TOW anti-tank missile launched from an M3 Bradley Cavalry Fighting Vehicle tracked armored reconnaissance vehicle.

Now watch as we maneuver our ATGM into an effective position that can control the board.

As you can see, white has a material advantage, and is ahead in the development of their pieces.

[Gragg9]

Beautiful. Will you be writing a tutorial for the bongcloud as well?

[xenosthelegend]

Beautiful. Will you be writing a tutorial for the bongcloud as well?

Maybe

[jdourtled]

Biggest chess tip: let me win

[The_Kidd]

when you advance your bishop --- why cant I just dare you to slide it all the way up and leave my far-left pawn still and then move my right knight to C7 so I can clip your Queen with the AA and SAM missiles after you try to bomb my backfield trying to steal my Queen?