Spicy Ron follows a strict morning routine. Every day, he wakes up after his hour of sleep, takes his morning dump, then gets out of bed. Afterwards, he goes to the kitchen to drink several dozen eggs, like his idol Gaston. The eggs strengthen his muscles with their protein, keeping him strong and ready to take on the biggest of opponents. Ron got to where he was by beating hordes of children in peewee football for over 14 years. A ritual that he still continues to this day, hopping into his local peewee league game to wreck some havoc. After the game, he tends to hide in the nearest dumpster for a few hours until the police lose his trail. Afterwards, he finally makes his way to DSFL practice.
Ron starts his day at the practice facility by doing some cardio, sprinting as hard as he can at the nearest squirrel in an attempt to catch it. Sometimes he does, and then he doesn't know what to do with it. So he simply sets it free and sprints at it again. Ron has caught 42 squirrels so far.
Ron then moves on to strength training by heading to the parking lot to lift cars. Sometimes taking them home when he doesn't feel like paying for gas. Ron's pre-game ritual involves launching a firework into the sky, sometimes indiscriminately hitting powerlines and causing a brownout in parts of Portland
When he turns in for his hour of sleep, he curls into bed and sleeps with his eyes wide open, just in case his enemies (or the feds) come for him in the night.
Ron starts his day at the practice facility by doing some cardio, sprinting as hard as he can at the nearest squirrel in an attempt to catch it. Sometimes he does, and then he doesn't know what to do with it. So he simply sets it free and sprints at it again. Ron has caught 42 squirrels so far.
Ron then moves on to strength training by heading to the parking lot to lift cars. Sometimes taking them home when he doesn't feel like paying for gas. Ron's pre-game ritual involves launching a firework into the sky, sometimes indiscriminately hitting powerlines and causing a brownout in parts of Portland
When he turns in for his hour of sleep, he curls into bed and sleeps with his eyes wide open, just in case his enemies (or the feds) come for him in the night.