10-22-2021, 11:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-25-2021, 11:53 PM by visceralpotamus. Edited 1 time in total.)
13. Expansion Expansion Expansion! (5 TPE)
As a fierce advocate for animal rights in the SHL, my expansion team would actually not be in the ISFL per see, but instead in the international sphere. While humans tend to get very excited about representing the flag associated with the piece of dirt they happened to be birthed, such loyalty is not as common in animals. In fact, the notion of citizenship, much less patriotism is quite a murky conversation when it comes to animals. Very few animals manage to get citizenship, usually associated with their ability to shoot a puck or throw a football. This is an injustice, as all of the benefits and privileges that come with association to a nation-state are not extended by animals who don't happen to be athletically gifted or inclined. This is further made complex by non mammalian animals, as live birth tends to be a strong determinant of citizenship. I was born as a Turtle, who was hatched from an egg, my birthplace is a bit more complex. Will my national loyalty be tied to where my mother laid her egg? Or should it be tied to where it is hatched? Perhaps where I matured? As an animal that migrates, am I granted automatic dual citizenship? There are complexities and intricacies that are connected to animals, specifically reptilian, amphibian, fish, and birds that simply do not lend themselves well to the current set up for international football. This does not even begin to broach the complexities suggested by invertebrates.
I feel like I have outlined the issue in great detail, allow me to suggest the solution: an all-animal team. With the human obsession with dirt that has been given names and symbols, I propose the animal dominated islands of Galapagos. The land is already relatively devoid of human infestation observed elsewhere across the globe. The atmosphere is perfect for football and would provide an amazing natural retreat for visiting teams. Inclusivity would be the name of the game with this franchise, with creative designers who are able to find elaborate solutions for the range and variety of animal bodies that will need protective equipment. There will be state of the art treatment facilities, featuring tanks for more aquatic species, shell scrubbers for turtles and tortoises, misters for canine friends who struggle to regulate body heat, heat lamps and pads for the other extreme of an animal who require it.
This is not only a cooky idea but an essential one in my estimation. In my short time in the league, it appears that the vast majority of the league is human. This is, of course, understandable as the sport was invented by the species. However, much as the NFL seeks to expand its viewership by expansion into the European countries, the ISFL could exponentially increase its player base as well as its viewership by highlighting and empowering new species that otherwise would never have been exposed.I eagerly await a response to what I think is an exciting opportunity for ISFL growth, as well as an athletic opportunity for the rest of the animal kingdom.
[514 words]
22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (2.5 TPE)
I think it is time we consider non-human performers. And no I am not talking about enslaved animals in the circus industry, or in other similar equine style side shows. I am talking about talented animals sharing their gifts. SO imagine a steady buzz of grasshoppers and cicadas setting the tone for the elaborate singing styles of various birds of paradise, highlighted by the vocal stylings of parrots and toucans. A howler monkey jumps in at the climax of the song, as the insect musicians achieve a rousing crescendo, punctuated by an aggressive finale features a trumpeting elephant group. During the performance, bioluminescent animals provide a light show. The heavy lifting is done by lightning bugs, who have the mobility and organization to react to the music and put forth alluring and poignant visual representations for an awestruck audience. Lest we forget our fishy friends, tanks are set up at each corner of the fields, as angler fish flash their lights to the beat. The beat is performed by stomping rhinoceroses, and they steadily increase the tempo, and the combination of flashing lights and the thundering sensation that is both heard and felt from the stomping rhinos increases anticipation and agitation as the musical performance progresses.
Finally, the performance comes to an end, the value and fever pitch of the animal performers matched only by the thunderous applause of the reinvigorated audience. As the dust settles, the performers leave the field, and the audience realizes their cries for an encore will not be satisfied, the players return to the field. The field is largely defiled, between animal dung, rhino footprints, as well as large swathes of grass having been grazed.
[280 words]
19. If your player had a show starring them, what would the plot be? (2.5 TPE)
Pasta the Turtle would absolutely star in a TV show show describing the coming of age of a Turtle discovering his innate abilities. It is one part Gilmore Girls and one part the New Mutants TV show we all deserve but have never received.It starts with what appears to to be a normal reptile family, and their typical struggles as lower class citizens on a planet dominated by encephalized mammals. SLowly, Pasta discover traits and abilities that makes him special, even beyond his reptilian powers. He is remarkably fast for a species not necessarily celebrated for velocity. He has strength and that put Arnold Schwartzennegar to shame. He possesses the brain power that could make him a chess grandmaster. The season one cliffhanger ends with him trying to decide what to do with his new found powers - use it for good or for evil?
The second season, with a new sponsorship deal with the ISFL, features Pasta the Turtle deciding to use his powers for the ultimate good - playing football baby. Minor plotlines in the second season include him bouncing between positions. He starts out as an offensive lineman, but finds that ultimately it is unrewarding (despite leading the league in pancakes). He auditions for linebacker, and excels in his new position. The season also features a will they/wont they romantic interlude featuring Spicy. Ultimetely the season ends with another cliffhanger, as his team loses a heartbreaker and misses out on playoffs. Pasta ponders his future, as well as another position switch....
[253 words]
As a fierce advocate for animal rights in the SHL, my expansion team would actually not be in the ISFL per see, but instead in the international sphere. While humans tend to get very excited about representing the flag associated with the piece of dirt they happened to be birthed, such loyalty is not as common in animals. In fact, the notion of citizenship, much less patriotism is quite a murky conversation when it comes to animals. Very few animals manage to get citizenship, usually associated with their ability to shoot a puck or throw a football. This is an injustice, as all of the benefits and privileges that come with association to a nation-state are not extended by animals who don't happen to be athletically gifted or inclined. This is further made complex by non mammalian animals, as live birth tends to be a strong determinant of citizenship. I was born as a Turtle, who was hatched from an egg, my birthplace is a bit more complex. Will my national loyalty be tied to where my mother laid her egg? Or should it be tied to where it is hatched? Perhaps where I matured? As an animal that migrates, am I granted automatic dual citizenship? There are complexities and intricacies that are connected to animals, specifically reptilian, amphibian, fish, and birds that simply do not lend themselves well to the current set up for international football. This does not even begin to broach the complexities suggested by invertebrates.
I feel like I have outlined the issue in great detail, allow me to suggest the solution: an all-animal team. With the human obsession with dirt that has been given names and symbols, I propose the animal dominated islands of Galapagos. The land is already relatively devoid of human infestation observed elsewhere across the globe. The atmosphere is perfect for football and would provide an amazing natural retreat for visiting teams. Inclusivity would be the name of the game with this franchise, with creative designers who are able to find elaborate solutions for the range and variety of animal bodies that will need protective equipment. There will be state of the art treatment facilities, featuring tanks for more aquatic species, shell scrubbers for turtles and tortoises, misters for canine friends who struggle to regulate body heat, heat lamps and pads for the other extreme of an animal who require it.
This is not only a cooky idea but an essential one in my estimation. In my short time in the league, it appears that the vast majority of the league is human. This is, of course, understandable as the sport was invented by the species. However, much as the NFL seeks to expand its viewership by expansion into the European countries, the ISFL could exponentially increase its player base as well as its viewership by highlighting and empowering new species that otherwise would never have been exposed.I eagerly await a response to what I think is an exciting opportunity for ISFL growth, as well as an athletic opportunity for the rest of the animal kingdom.
[514 words]
22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (2.5 TPE)
I think it is time we consider non-human performers. And no I am not talking about enslaved animals in the circus industry, or in other similar equine style side shows. I am talking about talented animals sharing their gifts. SO imagine a steady buzz of grasshoppers and cicadas setting the tone for the elaborate singing styles of various birds of paradise, highlighted by the vocal stylings of parrots and toucans. A howler monkey jumps in at the climax of the song, as the insect musicians achieve a rousing crescendo, punctuated by an aggressive finale features a trumpeting elephant group. During the performance, bioluminescent animals provide a light show. The heavy lifting is done by lightning bugs, who have the mobility and organization to react to the music and put forth alluring and poignant visual representations for an awestruck audience. Lest we forget our fishy friends, tanks are set up at each corner of the fields, as angler fish flash their lights to the beat. The beat is performed by stomping rhinoceroses, and they steadily increase the tempo, and the combination of flashing lights and the thundering sensation that is both heard and felt from the stomping rhinos increases anticipation and agitation as the musical performance progresses.
Finally, the performance comes to an end, the value and fever pitch of the animal performers matched only by the thunderous applause of the reinvigorated audience. As the dust settles, the performers leave the field, and the audience realizes their cries for an encore will not be satisfied, the players return to the field. The field is largely defiled, between animal dung, rhino footprints, as well as large swathes of grass having been grazed.
[280 words]
19. If your player had a show starring them, what would the plot be? (2.5 TPE)
Pasta the Turtle would absolutely star in a TV show show describing the coming of age of a Turtle discovering his innate abilities. It is one part Gilmore Girls and one part the New Mutants TV show we all deserve but have never received.It starts with what appears to to be a normal reptile family, and their typical struggles as lower class citizens on a planet dominated by encephalized mammals. SLowly, Pasta discover traits and abilities that makes him special, even beyond his reptilian powers. He is remarkably fast for a species not necessarily celebrated for velocity. He has strength and that put Arnold Schwartzennegar to shame. He possesses the brain power that could make him a chess grandmaster. The season one cliffhanger ends with him trying to decide what to do with his new found powers - use it for good or for evil?
The second season, with a new sponsorship deal with the ISFL, features Pasta the Turtle deciding to use his powers for the ultimate good - playing football baby. Minor plotlines in the second season include him bouncing between positions. He starts out as an offensive lineman, but finds that ultimately it is unrewarding (despite leading the league in pancakes). He auditions for linebacker, and excels in his new position. The season also features a will they/wont they romantic interlude featuring Spicy. Ultimetely the season ends with another cliffhanger, as his team loses a heartbreaker and misses out on playoffs. Pasta ponders his future, as well as another position switch....
[253 words]