4) Sim gonna sim - Is there any phrase more despised in sim league history? It really is a massive dampener on everything, knowing that no matter how hard you work, how much you earn or whatever you try in strategy meetings, it all goes to pot. To put this in the nerdiest way possible, the sim is basically Chaotic Natural. It has no allegiances, it has no friends and usually results should pan out as expected. But then some days it's almost as if the sim comes alive, throws up its hands and just decides a winner arbitrarily. It’s like the gods of order and reason are around a table, looking over work they’ve done and they come to a logical conclusion of things and then Lady Chaos stumbles into the room drunk of her ass, pushes all the notes and planning off the table before collapsing on top of the table, takes another drink and then points at the first logo she sees and declares them the winner. Of all the examples I could find in league history, I decided to go with a very recent case. One where despite any analysis done by either team, the result was surprising and awe-inspiring and the most perfect representation of Lady Chaos’ will in “Sim gonna Sim”
Ultimini 27 - Minnesota Grey Ducks vs Tijuana Luchadores.
Let's get one thing perfectly clear before we continue. The Tijuana Luchadores were a good team. In fact, they were a VERY good team. You don’t go 9-5 and tie the class of south division in the Dallas Birddogs unless you are a talented side. The Luchadores were one of the finest defensive teams in the league, they allowed the third fewest points per game in the league (22.6pts per game), they allowed the third fewest yards per game in the league (348.2 yards per game) and they had the 2nd best rush defense in the lead which allowed only 90.8 yards per game. The front four of Sheriff Woody, Marcus Jones, In Active and Southof TheBorder were a shutdown unit that stop run plays in their tracks (in fact it was because of this play that Sheriff Woody is widely considered the presumptive first overall pick). The two cornerbacks of Jackson and Schwarzer combined for 40 pass deflections, which basically stopped 3 passes a game from 2 players. This was a good defensive unit that was complimented by an emerging offensive unit that felt like a return of Tijuana’s glory days of seasons past.
Leading the offensive core was Quarterback Ishe ReallyInvisible who showed up on the stat sheet in every possible metric. In the 14 game season, he threw for 3388 yards at 59.4 percent completion and 21 touchdowns to only 10 interceptions. He terrorized defences everywhere he went which made him the best QB of the south conference. It also helps that he was accompanied by an emerging all star running back in Miracle whip who bulldozed opponents on his way to collection 1275 yards and 6 touchdowns on the year. He would also flash his speed by getting 5 20+ yard runs on the year showing that he could absolutely take over games when needed to.
What complimented this core was an emerging wide receiver talent in Jason Waterfalls who would be one of only 7 wide receivers to eclipse 1000 yards and would become a key part of their offensive lineup as they would defeat the birddogs 26-13 in the Conference finals to punch their ticket to the ultimini title against the Minnesota Grey Ducks.
So now… if we take all of that to be true, how do you explain what happened in the Ultimini?
Now maybe the winner isn’t surprising as the Grey Ducks were also an excellent team. They were the outright first seeds. Kazimir Oles Jr would put up MVP level numbers for yards and put up 31 touchdowns to 12 interceptions. Sophomore Running Back John Huntsman would have a season for the ages with 1470 rushing yards and 13 touchdowns which put him as the leagues best running back and rookie sensation Mason Malone would put up 1498 receiving yards, putting him deep in the conversation for Wide Receiver of the year and offensive rookie of the year. They had the best pass defenceman and offense in the league and were rated in the top two in pts and yards for offense and defence.
But even taking all of that to be true, that doesn’t explain how the Luchadores not only failed to not only put up a good fight for the championship, but even put up points at all. Minnesota smothered them all game long to the point where they set the record for largest point margin for victory in a championship game and would record the first ever shutout in Ultimini history. It was an awe inspiring sight and for the Luchadores, with all of their talent, skill and tenacity… it remains the best example of Sim gonna Sim
Ultimini 27 - Minnesota Grey Ducks vs Tijuana Luchadores.
Let's get one thing perfectly clear before we continue. The Tijuana Luchadores were a good team. In fact, they were a VERY good team. You don’t go 9-5 and tie the class of south division in the Dallas Birddogs unless you are a talented side. The Luchadores were one of the finest defensive teams in the league, they allowed the third fewest points per game in the league (22.6pts per game), they allowed the third fewest yards per game in the league (348.2 yards per game) and they had the 2nd best rush defense in the lead which allowed only 90.8 yards per game. The front four of Sheriff Woody, Marcus Jones, In Active and Southof TheBorder were a shutdown unit that stop run plays in their tracks (in fact it was because of this play that Sheriff Woody is widely considered the presumptive first overall pick). The two cornerbacks of Jackson and Schwarzer combined for 40 pass deflections, which basically stopped 3 passes a game from 2 players. This was a good defensive unit that was complimented by an emerging offensive unit that felt like a return of Tijuana’s glory days of seasons past.
Leading the offensive core was Quarterback Ishe ReallyInvisible who showed up on the stat sheet in every possible metric. In the 14 game season, he threw for 3388 yards at 59.4 percent completion and 21 touchdowns to only 10 interceptions. He terrorized defences everywhere he went which made him the best QB of the south conference. It also helps that he was accompanied by an emerging all star running back in Miracle whip who bulldozed opponents on his way to collection 1275 yards and 6 touchdowns on the year. He would also flash his speed by getting 5 20+ yard runs on the year showing that he could absolutely take over games when needed to.
What complimented this core was an emerging wide receiver talent in Jason Waterfalls who would be one of only 7 wide receivers to eclipse 1000 yards and would become a key part of their offensive lineup as they would defeat the birddogs 26-13 in the Conference finals to punch their ticket to the ultimini title against the Minnesota Grey Ducks.
So now… if we take all of that to be true, how do you explain what happened in the Ultimini?
Now maybe the winner isn’t surprising as the Grey Ducks were also an excellent team. They were the outright first seeds. Kazimir Oles Jr would put up MVP level numbers for yards and put up 31 touchdowns to 12 interceptions. Sophomore Running Back John Huntsman would have a season for the ages with 1470 rushing yards and 13 touchdowns which put him as the leagues best running back and rookie sensation Mason Malone would put up 1498 receiving yards, putting him deep in the conversation for Wide Receiver of the year and offensive rookie of the year. They had the best pass defenceman and offense in the league and were rated in the top two in pts and yards for offense and defence.
But even taking all of that to be true, that doesn’t explain how the Luchadores not only failed to not only put up a good fight for the championship, but even put up points at all. Minnesota smothered them all game long to the point where they set the record for largest point margin for victory in a championship game and would record the first ever shutout in Ultimini history. It was an awe inspiring sight and for the Luchadores, with all of their talent, skill and tenacity… it remains the best example of Sim gonna Sim