10-27-2021, 07:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-10-2021, 05:27 PM by Crunk. Edited 7 times in total.)
Congratulations to the season 31 Sim Football Writers Guild All-Pro Team!
QUARTERBACK
1st team: Mattathias Caliban @PigSnout
Key stats: 48 TDs (Single Season Record), 341.69 YPG, 6.84 TD%
2nd team: Colby Jack @flyeaglesfly29
Key stats: 7.28 ANY/A, 106.0 PassRating, 68.7 Comp%
These results were more contested than some may assume. We had so many great Quarterback performances this season, so we had to comb through every little thing to end up separating them. Caliban stood tall above the rest, not only for his incredible volume of passes, but the production that came with it. He set the Single Season record for most Touchdown Passes with 48, besting the previous mark of 45. Those TDs came on this season’s highest number of pass attempts, yet he still managed to throw one on almost 7% (6.84%) of his passes (the highest mark in the league). He also had the 4th highest Completion percent amongst Quarterbacks, so he picked his spots well. One of the few knocks against his season was his 17 INTs, however, the guild decided that his record-breaking performance was enough to warrant First-Team honors.
In a slight contrast from Caliban, our second team Quarterback had the second least pass attempts. But what he did with them was beyond impressive. Colby had the highest Completion percent among QBs, while also having the most 40+ yard passes with 24 and second highest 20+ yard passes with 61 (behind Caliban). This led to him also having the highest ANY/A of his peers at 7.28. So, even though Colby did not elect to pass often, when he did, he hit his mark and it was most likely for a chunk play. His 12 INTs, while not as high as others, did hurt him a bit due to his low amount of passes. Overall, still an incredible season of efficiency.
RUNNING BACK
1st team: Goat Tank @Eldorian
Key Stats: 390 att | 1,586 rush yrd | 19 rush TD | 549 rec yrd | 5 rec TD
1st team flex: Jamar Lackson @BenDover
Key Stats: 1,215 rush yrd | 4.92 YPC | 613 rec yrd | 10 scrim TDs | 15 plays 20+ yards
2nd team: Cobra Kai @OrbitingDeath
Key Stats: 1,213 rush yrd | 12 rush TD | 489 rec yrd | 4 rec TD | 51 pancakes
2nd team flex: Tatsu Nakamura @qWest
Key Stats: 1,510 scrim yrds | 15 scrim TD | 5.36 YPC | 71.60% catch rate
Another season, another nomination and round of voting for All-Pro Running Backs that causes the voters headaches. Luckily for us, this season we had one Running Back that helped make the decisions a little easier. I am of course talking about the one man offense out of the Pacific Northwest, Goat Tank. Just how good was Tank this season? Well, his scrimmage yardage total of 2,135 set a new single season record, breaking a 21 year old record (Owen Taylor - S10), and his 24 total touchdowns are tied for the third-most in a season in league history (Owen Taylor - S9, Tatsu Nakamura - S28). To further illustrate the importance of Goat Tank to the Otters’ offense in Season 31, he was responsible for 24 of the team’s 34 offensive touchdowns - over 70%.
At the First Team Offensive Flex spot, we have a player who has become a bit of a mainstay here on the All-Pro team, the Sabercats’ Jamar Lackson. Once again, Jackson was a do-it-all player for the San Jose offense, providing the third-best rushing average in the league, as well as once again being a big play threat with 15 plays which went for 20 or more yards. While his touchdown numbers might be a little behind the others on this list, the voters loved the whole of his resume enough to vote him to the First Team.
The Second Team Running Back this season was none other than the Karate Man himself, Cobra Kai of the Hahalua. Kai finished the season with very strong numbers of 1,702 total yards and 16 total touchdowns, as well as a pretty remarkable 51 pancakes, showing that he was unafraid to get his hands dirty in the blocking game. What held him back a bit in our voters’ eyes was his efficiency being on the lower end, as well as being less explosive than his peers, with only 7 plays of 20 or more yards on the season.
The last Running Back to make the cut was the ageless wonder Tatsu Nakamura, who the league still can’t seem to slow down. His carries and receptions were down this season as he started splitting touches more evenly with Deadly Memes, but Tatsu took advantage of every opportunity, leading the league in rushing average with an absurd 5.36 yards per carry, en route to a very impressive season that saw him put in for 1,510 total yards and 15 total touchdowns.
WIDE RECEIVER
1st team: Mark Walker @deadlunatic (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 1630 yards (1st) 12.35 yards per target (1st) 14 40+ yard receptions (1st) 68.94 catch % (3rd)
1st team: Videl-San @ValorX77 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 1575 yards (3rd) 13 receiving touchdowns (2nd) 9.72 yards per target (3rd)
2nd team: Raphael Delacour @37thchamber
Key stats: 15 receiving touchdowns (1st) 1430 yards (8th) 0 penalties (t-1st) 42 pancakes (t-1st)
2nd team: Cmon Skiuuup @"AirCrou"
Key stats: 11 receiving touchdowns (t-4th) (1440 yard) (7th) 8 40+ yard receptions (t-3rd)
Walker was undoubtedly the best receiver this season, when writing for key stats we had to instead decide what NOT to include then what to include. Walker had more forty yard receptions than some entire teams did. Not included but Walker only had one drop all season as well which contributed to his great catch rate.
Videl was right up there with Walker and is why they have received the second unanimous selection, second in 40 + yard receptions, third in yards, second in touchdowns Videl was a monster in all categories on the season as well as Walker.
Delacour was the TD king on the season, 15 is two more than the next player and put up very respectable yardage. One thing that made Delacour stand out was the lack of penalties and it was not for a lack of trying having 42!!! Pancakes on the season best among receivers.
Cmon SKIUUUUP was much like Videl and takes the final spot on our list, great touchdown numbers, great yardage and was a big play threat. Did we mention they did this all while having a rookie quarterback? Those accomplishments in themselves are fantastic for a season, but adding a rookie quarterback who is neither at experience cap nor capped in their build makes this all the more impressive.
TIGHT END
1st team: Zee Rechs @ZootTX
Key stats: 906 RecYards, 9 Rec20, 0 SA
2nd team: Mario Messi @KingSean
Key stats: 64 Pancakes, 69% Catch%, 44% RecFD
Tight End was another tough group to decide on, though Rechs did find himself standing above the rest in the end. 9 catches of over 20 yards (tied for first among TEs) on 91 total receptions, means that 1 in 10 catches by Rechs were getting you a big chunk! His 906 receiving yards led the position this season, and he was 1 of only 3 TEs to record 0 allowed sacks. However, that wasn't from a lack of blocking assignments, as he stacked up a respectable 44 pancakes as well. The production in the passing game, capped with another position-leading 7 TDs, plus the ability to protect the QB when not getting the ball, was enough to earn Rechs our First Team slot.
Messi was slightly less impressive as an aerial threat, but did a great job of protecting his signal caller with 64 pancakes (good enough for 3rd best TE). That's not to say he didn't get it done in the pass game. Mario was highly dependable this season, snagging 69% of all balls thrown his way. And, when he did catch it, there was almost a 50% chance he was getting a first down. His 698 receiving yards was 4th best, but his combination of efficiency and blocking work was more than enough to move ahead of the other candidates.
FULLBACK
First Team: Buster Bawlls @ryd029aird13
Key Stats: 52 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed, 44% first down rate on rush attempts, 74% catch rate
Second Team: Ben Alexander-Arnold @Ben
Key Stats: 37 pancakes, 1 sack allowed, 6.75 yards per catch
There was some discussion this season about the fullback position. A lot of teams don’t roster a fullback, and line up a running back at FB in formations that require it - should these players count as eligible for our voting? In the end, we decided not to allow it as those players may accumulate most of their stats on snaps where they line up at RB, WR, and/or TE instead, potentially giving them an unfair leg up on true fullbacks who often don’t have those additional opportunities.
With the meta discussion out of the way, let’s talk about our selections! Buster Bawlls is one of a very select group who has earned a spot on all four All-Pro teams selected to date, and his play this season was emblematic of the consistency in all aspects of the game we’ve come to expect from him. He was a superb blocker in both the run and pass games and picked up much needed first downs in the run game when called upon. On the second team, we see another frequent selection as Alexander-Arnold logs his 3rd All-Pro team appearance. Voters rewarded Ben for his work mainly in the pass game, as his 1 sack allowed was 2nd fewest among eligible players (after Bawlls) and he had the highest receiving average of any fullback.
OFFENSIVE TACKLE
1st team: Stumpy Jones @FootballIsCool
Key Stats: 118 Pancakes, 0 SA
1st team: Pepelegs Johnson @golden_apricot
Key Stats: 117 Pancakes, 0 SA
2nd team: Alexander Franklin @Hordle
Key Stats: 136 Pancakes, 3 SA
2nd team: Marc Hamel @lespoils
Key Stats: 122 Pancakes, 1 SA
Offensive Tackle is one or the most critical and versatile positions on an offense. From sealing the edge on run blocks, to standing firm against pass rushers and sometimes putting them on their backsides, the Tackle is asked to be one of the most reliable pieces on a team. Both of our First Teamers, Stumpy and Pepelegs, did these things incredibly well. While separated by one pancake, these two shared a very key stat: they did not allow a single sack. Both of them played for almost 1200 snaps, so to never see their QB on the ground because of something they did, is an incredible feat. The penalty totals for these 2 were also identical, so they truly were separated by just a single pancake!
Our Second Team selections also had fantastic seasons. As you can see, both had higher pancake numbers, which is admirable in itself. Franklin recorded a league-high pancake total with an impressive 136, good enough for 5th All Time among human OL! He found himself outside of the first team mostly for his 3 SA, but his performance had to be recognized. Hamel was second in the league in Pancakes, and only allowed 1 sack all season, another highly valuable season that helped his offense make its way to the playoffs!
OFFENSIVE GUARD
1st team: Bob Roberts @zaynzk (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 69 Pancakes, 0 SA, 0 Penalties
1st team: Maiteers Rico-Shea @Beaver (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 100 Pancakes, 1 SA
2nd team: Thomas Passmann @StamkosFan
Key Stats: 69 Pancakes, 0 SA, 1 Penalty
2nd team: Marlon Alexander @platanocat
Key Stats: 64 Pancakes, 0 SA
As with other OL positions, we don't have a ton of stats to look at for separation. But, with the ones we do have, we can see that Roberts had a truly "clean" season. 0 SA and 0 penalties is a golden combo for an Offensive Lineman, hence his Unanimous First Team inclusion. Speaking of, our other First Team inclusion was also unanimous. MRS stood out in this pack as the only triple-digit pancaker. He did have some penalties, and allowed a single sack, but the height of his pancake stack was too tall to keep him off the First Team.
Our Second Team saw some very similar stat lines to Roberts. The main separator, being penalties. Both Passman and Alexander did their part in keeping their Quarterbacks upright, allowing 0 sacks. Passman only had 1 penalty, but in such a brilliant group, that was enough to keep him from First Team honors. Alexander was a little more hold happy, managing 4 penalties on the season. Again, both had great years, but in the end needed a bit more to make the leap.
CENTER
1st team: Manhattan Project @Modern_Duke (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 95 Pancakes, 0 SA
2nd team: Moe Skeeter @TheDude83
Key Stats: 78 Pancakes, 1 SA
There were no truly "clean" seasons for Centers this year, but Manhattan Project came pretty close. O SA on almost 1200 snaps is always impressive. And to add a position-leading 95 Pancakes is even more so. He did have some penalty problems with 3 for a big 25 yards, but his other numbers coupled with some Centers having even bigger penalty issues, was enough to put him into our First Team.
Our Second Team Center came a little more hotly contested. Skeeter had a solid year, filling his belly with 78 Pancakes and only allowing 1 Sack. However, he did end up with 3 penalties for 15 yards. That's not a lot in the grand scheme, but a few voters did see this as a reason to vote for Slothisberger instead. Sloth had 0 penalties and also only gave up 1 Sack. He did have 14 fewer pancakes than Skeeter, which ultimately was enough to convince the majority of voters to leave him off the All-Pro listing this season.
DEFENSIVE TACKLE
1st team: Chuck Roth @zeagle1
Key stats: 73 tackles | 8 TFL | 9 sacks | 1 safety | 1 FR
1st team: Honky-Tonk Haywood @jzajenius36
Key stats: 77 tackles | 10 sacks | 3 TFL | 2 FF
2nd team: Magnus Rikiya @Tesla
Key stats: 52 tackles | 7 sacks | 4 TFL | 5 FF | 3 FR
2nd team: Daymond Brooks
Key stats: 51 tackles | 8 TFL | 5 sacks | 3 FF
Defensive Tackle ended up being a lot more of a divisive position group this season, as the nominees all were very evenly stacked and brought their own bit of flavor. First on the board was the man leading the charge up front on Arizona’s fearsome 3-4 defense, Chuck Roth. Roth showed this season he was not one-dimensional, as he totalled the third most tackles among all defensive linemen, as well as the most tackles for loss and the third-highest total number of sacks. He even pitched in a safety on the season!
Our other First Team selection was Season 30’s Defensive Tackle of the Year, Honky-Tonk Haywood. In Season 31, Haywood led all Defensive Linemen in tackles, and turned in the second-most sacks. Haywood held down the interior for the Liberty, whose defense allowed a league-best 59 rushing yards per game.
Leading off for the Second Team we have Colorado’s nose tackle, Magnus Rikiya, who made up for a lower number of tackles by making the most impact as possible with them. Rikiya’s 7 sacks and 4 TFL were both respectable, but the 5 fumbles he forced, as well as the three recovered, were enough to propel Magnus to the All-Pro team.
Rounding out Defensive Tackles we have yet another member of the Butchers’ defense, Draymond Brooks. He tied for the most Tackles for Loss among defensive linemen with the aforementioned Roth, as well as chipping in 5 sacks and three forced fumbles.
DEFENSIVE END
1st team: Brick Van Sanzo @snazzlepuss22 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 10 sacks (t-3rd) 5FF (1st)
1st team: Leonard Taylor @Tayjay (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 100% tackle% (t-1st) 12 sacks (1st) 3FF (t-2nd)
2nd team: Tex Wrecks @209tacos
Key stats: 7 sacks (t-5th) 7 TFL (t-2nd) 2FF (t-3rd)
2nd team: Son Goku @Naosu
Key stats: 10 sacks (t-3rd) 0 penalties (t-1st)
We have heard your statements friends and have made the adjustment to bring defensive ends to the all-pro team!
Headlining with the sacks leader Taylor was an absolute unit off the edge. 12 from defensive end is the kind of production you look for in the most elite at the position and Taylor delivered. He was great at tracking ball carriers and quarterbacks alike, not missing a single tackle all season. The three forced fumbles are the cherry on top of a near perfect season.
Van Sanzo continues to lead the New York Sack Exchange being third in his position in sacks. Where Brick really shined was in his big play ability, forcing a fumble on half of his sacks. Brick sacks were not impactful for a loss of yardage but half the time a likely turnover as well. His three tackles for loss, while not as high as some, still added to an already great resume.
Tex truly did Wreck this season, a true all around defensive end Tex in the 3-4 system the Liberty run made impact plays on the passer and on runners. Seven sacks is certainly impressive, but adding in seven tackles for loss and being tied second at his position for the stat made him that much more dominant.
Son Goku was using Master Roshi’s training well in Florida. With great pass rushing prowess hitting double digits, but where he really shined was in his elite discipline. Getting to the passer as often as Goku did tends to lead to roughing the passer but Goku was able to keep his cool and registered no penalties all season long. Four tackles for a loss helped seal the deal and he takes the final spot.
OUTSIDE LINEBACKER
1st team: Wasrabi Gleel @Crodyman
Key stats: 98 tackles | 18 sacks | 62.75% CtA | 8 FF/4 FR | 98% Tck Rate
1st team: Juan Domine @"Maglubiyet"
Key stats: 111 tackles | 20 sacks | 4 FF/1 FR | 2 INT | 14 PDs | 1 Safety | 1 Block
2nd team: Brach Thomaslacher @RDBSouthPaw
Key stats: 104 tackles | 18 sacks | 6 FF/5 FR | 2 INT | 2 Safeties | 60.87% CtA
2nd team: Big Slammu @moonlight
Key stats: 114 tackles | 19 sacks | 2 FF/3 FR | 1 INT | 1 Safety | 1 DTD
Outside Linebackers have consistently been one of the highest-impact positions since the All-Pro Team was launched, and this season continues that trend. Due to the fierce competition at the position, we had no unanimous selections for the First Team, and the numbers show why.
One of the biggest storylines of Season 31 was the meteoric rise of the Chicago Butchers. Led by a staunch defense and a strong running game, the boys of the Windy City finished the season 10-6 with an insane 7-1 record on the road, and their two OLBs, Gleel and Domine were a big part of it. Wasrabi Gleel, the Grey Ducks product, not only finished third in the league in sacks with 18 on the year, but was about as sure of a tackler as you could be with a staggering 98% success rate on his tackles. The biggest story of his season, however, was his 8 forced fumbles which set a single-season record for the ISFL.
His OLB partner across the formation, Juan Domine, was our second First Team selection, and he was just as menacing to offenses as Gleel was, totalling 20 sacks, 4 forced fumbles, and a safety on the season. Domine was not as strong in pass coverage as some other OLBs this season, allowing near 70% of passes in his direction to be completed, but he was still able to make impactful plays in coverage, snagging 2 interceptions and disrupting 14 pass attempts, the most by a Linebacker this season.
First on the Second Team we have Brach Thomaslacher, the longtime star for the Copperheads, who turned in yet another stellar season, in which he racked up 18 sacks. Now, since OLB is a hotly contested position group, what set Thomaslacher apart aside from his pass rushing ability was his who body of work. His sub-61% catches allowed rate was better than a number of defensive backs, and he also had a penchant for impact plays, recording two safeties, two interceptions, and forcing 6 fumbles.
Last but not least, we have the Shark Man himself, Big Slammu, whose play helped propel the Hahalue to their first Ultimus win as a team. Honolulu made waves last season, making a trade for Slammu, and he repaid them in kind by turning in a fantastic season in which he finished second in the league in sacks, third in tackles for loss, forced 4 turnovers, and even scored a defensive touchdown.
INSIDE LINEBACKER
1st team: Jack Banks @TheRocheLimit
Key stats: 111 tackles | 9 sacks | 3 FF | 2 FR | 1 INT | 1 safety
2nd team: Douglas Quaid @HENDRIX 2.0
Key stats: 127 tackles | 7 TFL | 3 sacks | 2 FF | 2 INT | 96.95% tak rate
Inside/Middle Linebackers are asked to do a lot for their defenses. Where an Outside Linebacker can sometimes specialize in rushing the passer or playing contain on run plays, the Inside Linebacker needs to be versatile. They are asked to blitz, stop opposing Tight Ends and Running Backs in pass coverage, and also be able to dissect running plays and stop anything that comes into view. Both of the players on the All-Pro Team this season at the ILB spots are examples of the varying roles this position plays.
On the First Team we have the Silverbacks legend, Jack Banks. Banks was a bear for offenses to contain this whole season, as he quarterbacked New York’s vaunted 4-3 defense, and was asked to be a playmaker at every level, as shown by not only his high tackle and sacks numbers, but also in his ability to make impact plays, forcing three fumbles, snagging in interception, and even tallying a safety on the season.
Showcasing the variety even within the position group, our Second Team selection, Douglas Quaid for the Wraiths, was equally as impactful all over the field. His 127 tackles was the second-most in the league this season, and his 7 tackles for loss was the 4th-highest mark. Quaid showed his field range off this season, forcing two fumbles, intercepting two passes, as well as tallying 13 passes defended.
CORNERBACK
1st team: Davriel Lavigne @Raven (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 55.32% CtA on 141 tar | 5 INT | 32 PD | 2 FF/1 FR
1st team: Maverick Bowie @Tonzy
Key stats: 100 tackles | 8 INT | 41 PD | 67.31% CtA
1st team flex: Dukburg Quakstak @Bwestfield
Key Stats: 61.70% CtA | 4 INT | 26 PD | 1 DTD
2nd team: Albert Ruschmann @katarn22
Key stats: 61.54% CtA | 5 FF/3 FR | 2 INT | 27 PD
2nd team: Rich Triplet @Kotasa
Key stats: 104 tackles | 3 FF/1 FR | 5 INT | 30 PD | 63.69% CtA
2nd team flex: Peter Patterson @slate
Key stats: 57.55% CtA | 3 FF | 2 INT | 26 PD
As you can see from the roster here, Cornerback was not only a very deep position group in Season 31, but also one that the voters could not seem to agree on, as both of our DFlex spots were taken up by Cornerbacks.
There was one player that the voters could all agree on, and that was Davriel Lavigne, whose play on the field helped the Hahalua field the top passing defense in the entire ISFL this past season. Lavigne was nothing short of great this season as opposing Quarterbacks were able to complete barely half of their passes thrown in his direction. He also was a turnover machine, as his 5 interceptions were good enough for second-most in the league.
While Lavigne was content creating a no-fly zone on his side of the field, the other First Team Cornerback this season, Maverick Bowie, employed much more of a boom-or-bust type style against opposing receivers. He allowed just over two-thirds of the passes thrown in his direction to be completed; but, Bowie also paced the league with 8 interceptions and 41 passes defended, and 61% of the incompletions in his direction were directly due to him disrupting the pass, the highest rate in the league.
Our First Team DFlex player this season is the NY product, Dukburg Quakstak, whose play style was a happy medium between Lavigne and Bowie. Quakstak posted a very strong 61.70% catches allowed rate, but also posted a very respectable 4 interceptions, and turned in the only defensive touchdown among all Cornerbacks on the All-Pro team.
Ruschmann might not have the typical gaudy stats you might expect out of an elite coverage Cornerback, and while his catches allowed was very strong, he did not take advantage of mistakes by the offense, tallying only 2 interceptions on the season. Where Ruschmann made his name, however, was as an impactful hitter, registering an absurd 5 forced fumbles, 3 of which he recovered.
Our other Second Team CB, Rich Triplet, had one message to opposing WRs this season, “enter at your own risk, BUCKO.” He not only had a good catches allowed rate, but also turned in 5 interceptions (2nd in the league) and another season with 30 PD. To top it off, Triplet showed he wasn’t scared to get his hands dirty as he had 104 tackles and forced 3 fumbles.
Rounding out our team was the man known as BigPP, Peter Patterson, showing just how deep the Season 25 Cornerback class was, as that’s now FIVE S25 CBs to make the team this season. Patterson was able to essentially remove an opposing WR from the gameplan as he allowed under 58% of the passes thrown in his direction to be completed. Not satisfied with just stopping completion, Patterson also tallied 2 interceptions and forced 3 fumbles on the season.
SAFETY
1st team: Cuco Clemente @Billybolo53 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 4 INT (t-2nd) 15 PDs (t-2nd) 55.79% catch rate (1st)
1st team: Jacob Raske @CLG Rampage
Key stats: 3FF (1st) 3 INT (t-3rd) 2DTD (t-1st)
2nd team: Brendan Lanier @jdourtled
Key stats: 5 sacks (t-2nd) 15 PDs (t-2nd) 62.79% catch rate (9th)
2nd team: Evan Jones @Faelax
Key stats: 1 missed tackle (t-2nd) 3 sacks (t-4th) 11 PDs (t-6th)
Fun fact, Cuco has made an All-pro team every year since its inception and this is his second unanimous selection in that span. Cuco was elite at the free safety position tallying the lowest catch rate among all safeties while having the second most targets at the position. This isn’t getting lucky this is being good, calling his ball skills elite would be an understatement being tied for second in picks and pass deflections. He also registered three sacks just to show he can still get after the quarterback and not just take away a third of the field.
If I used one word to describe Raske, it would be playmaker. He made it his mission to take the ball away from offenses and did so at a high level. First among qualifying safeties he forced the ball out from ball carriers at a high level while also being able to pick it off in the air. His 10 PDs are nice but the best playmakers score touchdowns and in a season we didn’t see many, Raske scored two for Berlin.
If you’re asking why I listed Lanier’s 62.79% catch rate that’s only good for 9th, let me explain. The second safety of the Sarasota sailfish plays strong safety which historically has abysmal catch %s allowed, yet here stands Lanier in the top 10 of all of them. He was elite at pass rushing with 5 sacks, made plays on the ball with 15 pass defenses, and registered 2 picks in addition. A truly great season for the second half of the Sailfish duo!
Jones reminded me a lot of Harrison Smith, he was great at almost any category you ask of him. He missed one tackle, was great at rushing the passer with his three sacks, notched eleven pass defenses, and got himself a couple picks along the way. Oh he also forced a fumble for good measure, a truly well rounded safety.
KICKER
1st team: Jacob Small @bjkman (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 100% XP%, 100% FG%
2nd team: Taipan Pete @Thatguy91 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 96.97% XP%, 89.29% FG%
There isn't too much extra to say about our First Teamer's season. He completed the dream season, going 100% on Extra Points and Field Goals. And not on piddly volume, either! Only two kickers attempted more Field Goals, and only four attempted more Extra Points. Small lead all kickers in total points as well, with a huge 157. You can't possibly ask for a better season from your place kicker.
Taipan Pete booted his way onto our Second Team by only missing 1 Extra Point and having the second highest FG% among kickers. He was used the least of all kickers this season as far as total kicks, but he managed to put a high percentage through when asked. 9/9 on 40 yarders is a great accomplishment as well for a kicker that definitely has some more years in the cleats!
PUNTER:
1st team: Cade York @LSUFAN101 (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 52.7% I20%, 39 Inside 20
2nd team: Matthew McDairmid @Matty7478
Key Stats: 49.97 yards Punt Avg, 72 yard Long
Cade had one of the craziest punting seasons we've ever seen. 39 Punts inside the 20 is tied for 4th most all-time and Cade did it on only 74 total punts! That means any time he punted there was better than 50/50 odds it pinned the other team deep. The 52.7% mark is 2nd in league history! It was truly an incredible season-long performance, and gave us maybe the easiest unanimous decision we had.
In his final season before hanging up the boots, McDairmid showed that he still had power in those old but massive thighs. On 71 punts, the Scottish Super Punter averaged almost 50 yards per punt; 2nd this season only behind Blago Kokot. And speaking of Kokot, Matty tied him for longest punt with a massive 72-yard bomb. He also pinged 29 of his punts inside the 20, giving him a highly respectable 40% I20%. Truly an inspirational last ride for the Mad Scot.
RETURNER:
1st team: Daniel Foster @Arkz
Key Stats: 6.7 kick return EPA (3rd), 7.42 total returner EPA (2nd), 0.2 EPA/return (2nd),
2nd team: Kai Sakura @DarknessRising
Key Stats: 1 kickoff return TD (1st), 0.54 EPA/kickoff return (1st), -4.1 punt return EPA
The Wraiths special teams were on fire this season, largely thanks to the huge efforts of their two returners who take both of the All-Pro spots at the position. Voters rewarded Foster for his well rounded style, as his returns added the most expected points to his team’s drives out of any player who scored positive by that metric on both kickoff and punt returns. His 29 yards per kickoff return and 9 yards per punt return were both well above league average, and his versatility and ability to make plays in both phases of special teams were rewarded.
His teammate Sakura had a more outstanding season looking only at his kickoff returns. In addition to scoring the only kickoff return TD in the league, his average on his other 21 kickoff attempts would have been the highest in the league at just under 30 yards/return. However, the big negative in his column was his measly 2.2 yard (!) average punt return, which ended up offsetting most of the benefit of his exceptional kick returns compared to a more complete returner like Foster.
SFWG All-Pro First Team
QB: Mattathias Caliban
RB: Goat Tank
FB: Buster Bawlls*
WR: Mark Walker*
WR: Videl-San*
TE: Zee Rechs
OFlex: Jamar Lackson
OT: Stumpy Jones
OT: Pepelegs Johnson
OG: Bob Roberts*
OG: Maiteers Rico-Shea*
C: Manhattan Project*
DT: Chuck Roth
DT: Honky-Tonk Haywood
DE: Brick Van Sanzo*
DE: Leonard Taylor*
OLB: Wasrabi Gleel
OLB: Juan Domine
ILB: Jack Banks
CB: Davriel Lavigne*
CB: Maverick Bowie
S: Cuco Clemente*
S: Jacob Raske
DBFlex: Dukburg Quakstak
K: Jacob Small*
P: Cade York*
Returner: Daniel Foster
SFWG All-Pro Second Team
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Cobra Kai
FB: Ben Alexander-Arnold
WR: Raphael Delacour
WR: Cmon Skiuuup
TE: Mario Messi
OFlex: Tatsu Nakamura
OT: Alexander Franklin
OT: Marc Hamel
OG: Thomas Passmann
OG: Marlon Alexander
C: Moe Skeeter
DT: Magnus Rikiya
DT: Daymond Brooks
DE: Tex Wrecks
DE: Son Goku
OLB: Brach Thomaslacher
OLB: Big Slammu
ILB: Douglas Quaid
CB: Albert Ruschmann
CB: Rich Triplet
S: Brendan Lanier
S: Evan Jones
DBFlex: Peter Patterson
K: Taipan Pete*
P: Matthew McDairmid
Returner: Kai Sakura
* = Unanimous selection
Other Players Receiving Votes:
QB Dexter Zaylren ; RB Zoe Watts ; RB Jay Cue Jr. ; FB Bronko Mills ; FB Sigismund Sternenstaub ; WR Jackson Kingston ; WR William Lim ; WR Kai Sakura ; WR Eleven Kendrick-Watts ; TE James Angler ; TE Sal Ami ; OT Icebox Riposte ; OG Bernie Sanders ; OG Byron Dolls ; C Ben Slothlisberger ; C Cheese Farley ; DT Colt Mendoza DE Bean Beanman ; DE Raylan Crowder ; OLB Heinrich Kackpoo ; OLB AJ Lucas ; ILB Makoto Otawara ; ILB Tyler Montain ; CB CJ Sonjack ; CB Lip Gallagher ; S Johnny Hellzapoppin ; P Paul Monitor ; RET Eugene Smoothie ; RET Jackson Kingston
Summary by team:
(7): 5 1st team, 2 2nd team
(7): 4 1st team, 3 2nd team
(7): 3 1st team, 4 2nd team
(6): 2 1st team, 4 2nd team
(5): 2 1st team, 3 2nd team
(5): 2 1st team, 3 2nd team
(3): 2 1st team, 1 2nd team
(3): 1 1st team, 2 2nd team
(3): 1 1st team, 2 2nd team
(2): 2 1st team, 0 2nd team
(2): 1 1st team, 1 2nd team
(2): 1 1st team, 1 2nd team
(1): 0 1st team, 1 2nd team
(1): 1 1st team, 0 2nd team
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Good day to you! Thank you for reading this article unveiling the All-Pro rosters for season 31! A huge thank you goes out, as always, to the whole team that participated in discussion throughout the season to help us get to this point. I thought last season was insane with nine unanimous First Team All-Pro selections, a crazy number that smacked the previous couple of seasons numbers, but season 31 stepped it up another notch with TWELVE unanimous selections on our First Team roster! A fervent round of applause goes out to all of the dominant players that earned that recognition and to all of the other amazing players on our two rosters this season.
In pursuit of transparency, as we began doing last season, we are publishing the individual ballots of all seven of our voters this season. While I ask that you maintain respect and decorum in doing so, you are welcome to reach out to the voters about their individual ballots. View those votes in the spreadsheet here.
As always, the Simulation Football Writer’s Guild is open to bringing new members into the guild. Linked here is a post I made in the past that discusses what we do and how you might reach out to get on board.
Hip hip hooray again for all of the S31 All-Pro players!
© 2021 Simulation Football Writers’ Guild
Note: For those of you Unanimous First Team selections, you can get full-resolution versions of the images in this article at this link: S31 Unanimous First Team All-Pro
DOUBLE NOTE: Media grader, please split out payment the following way
@Swanty - 5%
@124715 - 5%
@Gragg9 - 5%
@slate - 10%
@qWest - 15%
@Kotasa - 15%
@Pat - 20%
@RussDrivesTheBus - 25%
QUARTERBACK
1st team: Mattathias Caliban @PigSnout
Key stats: 48 TDs (Single Season Record), 341.69 YPG, 6.84 TD%
2nd team: Colby Jack @flyeaglesfly29
Key stats: 7.28 ANY/A, 106.0 PassRating, 68.7 Comp%
These results were more contested than some may assume. We had so many great Quarterback performances this season, so we had to comb through every little thing to end up separating them. Caliban stood tall above the rest, not only for his incredible volume of passes, but the production that came with it. He set the Single Season record for most Touchdown Passes with 48, besting the previous mark of 45. Those TDs came on this season’s highest number of pass attempts, yet he still managed to throw one on almost 7% (6.84%) of his passes (the highest mark in the league). He also had the 4th highest Completion percent amongst Quarterbacks, so he picked his spots well. One of the few knocks against his season was his 17 INTs, however, the guild decided that his record-breaking performance was enough to warrant First-Team honors.
In a slight contrast from Caliban, our second team Quarterback had the second least pass attempts. But what he did with them was beyond impressive. Colby had the highest Completion percent among QBs, while also having the most 40+ yard passes with 24 and second highest 20+ yard passes with 61 (behind Caliban). This led to him also having the highest ANY/A of his peers at 7.28. So, even though Colby did not elect to pass often, when he did, he hit his mark and it was most likely for a chunk play. His 12 INTs, while not as high as others, did hurt him a bit due to his low amount of passes. Overall, still an incredible season of efficiency.
RUNNING BACK
1st team: Goat Tank @Eldorian
Key Stats: 390 att | 1,586 rush yrd | 19 rush TD | 549 rec yrd | 5 rec TD
1st team flex: Jamar Lackson @BenDover
Key Stats: 1,215 rush yrd | 4.92 YPC | 613 rec yrd | 10 scrim TDs | 15 plays 20+ yards
2nd team: Cobra Kai @OrbitingDeath
Key Stats: 1,213 rush yrd | 12 rush TD | 489 rec yrd | 4 rec TD | 51 pancakes
2nd team flex: Tatsu Nakamura @qWest
Key Stats: 1,510 scrim yrds | 15 scrim TD | 5.36 YPC | 71.60% catch rate
Another season, another nomination and round of voting for All-Pro Running Backs that causes the voters headaches. Luckily for us, this season we had one Running Back that helped make the decisions a little easier. I am of course talking about the one man offense out of the Pacific Northwest, Goat Tank. Just how good was Tank this season? Well, his scrimmage yardage total of 2,135 set a new single season record, breaking a 21 year old record (Owen Taylor - S10), and his 24 total touchdowns are tied for the third-most in a season in league history (Owen Taylor - S9, Tatsu Nakamura - S28). To further illustrate the importance of Goat Tank to the Otters’ offense in Season 31, he was responsible for 24 of the team’s 34 offensive touchdowns - over 70%.
At the First Team Offensive Flex spot, we have a player who has become a bit of a mainstay here on the All-Pro team, the Sabercats’ Jamar Lackson. Once again, Jackson was a do-it-all player for the San Jose offense, providing the third-best rushing average in the league, as well as once again being a big play threat with 15 plays which went for 20 or more yards. While his touchdown numbers might be a little behind the others on this list, the voters loved the whole of his resume enough to vote him to the First Team.
The Second Team Running Back this season was none other than the Karate Man himself, Cobra Kai of the Hahalua. Kai finished the season with very strong numbers of 1,702 total yards and 16 total touchdowns, as well as a pretty remarkable 51 pancakes, showing that he was unafraid to get his hands dirty in the blocking game. What held him back a bit in our voters’ eyes was his efficiency being on the lower end, as well as being less explosive than his peers, with only 7 plays of 20 or more yards on the season.
The last Running Back to make the cut was the ageless wonder Tatsu Nakamura, who the league still can’t seem to slow down. His carries and receptions were down this season as he started splitting touches more evenly with Deadly Memes, but Tatsu took advantage of every opportunity, leading the league in rushing average with an absurd 5.36 yards per carry, en route to a very impressive season that saw him put in for 1,510 total yards and 15 total touchdowns.
WIDE RECEIVER
1st team: Mark Walker @deadlunatic (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 1630 yards (1st) 12.35 yards per target (1st) 14 40+ yard receptions (1st) 68.94 catch % (3rd)
1st team: Videl-San @ValorX77 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 1575 yards (3rd) 13 receiving touchdowns (2nd) 9.72 yards per target (3rd)
2nd team: Raphael Delacour @37thchamber
Key stats: 15 receiving touchdowns (1st) 1430 yards (8th) 0 penalties (t-1st) 42 pancakes (t-1st)
2nd team: Cmon Skiuuup @"AirCrou"
Key stats: 11 receiving touchdowns (t-4th) (1440 yard) (7th) 8 40+ yard receptions (t-3rd)
Walker was undoubtedly the best receiver this season, when writing for key stats we had to instead decide what NOT to include then what to include. Walker had more forty yard receptions than some entire teams did. Not included but Walker only had one drop all season as well which contributed to his great catch rate.
Videl was right up there with Walker and is why they have received the second unanimous selection, second in 40 + yard receptions, third in yards, second in touchdowns Videl was a monster in all categories on the season as well as Walker.
Delacour was the TD king on the season, 15 is two more than the next player and put up very respectable yardage. One thing that made Delacour stand out was the lack of penalties and it was not for a lack of trying having 42!!! Pancakes on the season best among receivers.
Cmon SKIUUUUP was much like Videl and takes the final spot on our list, great touchdown numbers, great yardage and was a big play threat. Did we mention they did this all while having a rookie quarterback? Those accomplishments in themselves are fantastic for a season, but adding a rookie quarterback who is neither at experience cap nor capped in their build makes this all the more impressive.
TIGHT END
1st team: Zee Rechs @ZootTX
Key stats: 906 RecYards, 9 Rec20, 0 SA
2nd team: Mario Messi @KingSean
Key stats: 64 Pancakes, 69% Catch%, 44% RecFD
Tight End was another tough group to decide on, though Rechs did find himself standing above the rest in the end. 9 catches of over 20 yards (tied for first among TEs) on 91 total receptions, means that 1 in 10 catches by Rechs were getting you a big chunk! His 906 receiving yards led the position this season, and he was 1 of only 3 TEs to record 0 allowed sacks. However, that wasn't from a lack of blocking assignments, as he stacked up a respectable 44 pancakes as well. The production in the passing game, capped with another position-leading 7 TDs, plus the ability to protect the QB when not getting the ball, was enough to earn Rechs our First Team slot.
Messi was slightly less impressive as an aerial threat, but did a great job of protecting his signal caller with 64 pancakes (good enough for 3rd best TE). That's not to say he didn't get it done in the pass game. Mario was highly dependable this season, snagging 69% of all balls thrown his way. And, when he did catch it, there was almost a 50% chance he was getting a first down. His 698 receiving yards was 4th best, but his combination of efficiency and blocking work was more than enough to move ahead of the other candidates.
FULLBACK
First Team: Buster Bawlls @ryd029aird13
Key Stats: 52 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed, 44% first down rate on rush attempts, 74% catch rate
Second Team: Ben Alexander-Arnold @Ben
Key Stats: 37 pancakes, 1 sack allowed, 6.75 yards per catch
There was some discussion this season about the fullback position. A lot of teams don’t roster a fullback, and line up a running back at FB in formations that require it - should these players count as eligible for our voting? In the end, we decided not to allow it as those players may accumulate most of their stats on snaps where they line up at RB, WR, and/or TE instead, potentially giving them an unfair leg up on true fullbacks who often don’t have those additional opportunities.
With the meta discussion out of the way, let’s talk about our selections! Buster Bawlls is one of a very select group who has earned a spot on all four All-Pro teams selected to date, and his play this season was emblematic of the consistency in all aspects of the game we’ve come to expect from him. He was a superb blocker in both the run and pass games and picked up much needed first downs in the run game when called upon. On the second team, we see another frequent selection as Alexander-Arnold logs his 3rd All-Pro team appearance. Voters rewarded Ben for his work mainly in the pass game, as his 1 sack allowed was 2nd fewest among eligible players (after Bawlls) and he had the highest receiving average of any fullback.
OFFENSIVE TACKLE
1st team: Stumpy Jones @FootballIsCool
Key Stats: 118 Pancakes, 0 SA
1st team: Pepelegs Johnson @golden_apricot
Key Stats: 117 Pancakes, 0 SA
2nd team: Alexander Franklin @Hordle
Key Stats: 136 Pancakes, 3 SA
2nd team: Marc Hamel @lespoils
Key Stats: 122 Pancakes, 1 SA
Offensive Tackle is one or the most critical and versatile positions on an offense. From sealing the edge on run blocks, to standing firm against pass rushers and sometimes putting them on their backsides, the Tackle is asked to be one of the most reliable pieces on a team. Both of our First Teamers, Stumpy and Pepelegs, did these things incredibly well. While separated by one pancake, these two shared a very key stat: they did not allow a single sack. Both of them played for almost 1200 snaps, so to never see their QB on the ground because of something they did, is an incredible feat. The penalty totals for these 2 were also identical, so they truly were separated by just a single pancake!
Our Second Team selections also had fantastic seasons. As you can see, both had higher pancake numbers, which is admirable in itself. Franklin recorded a league-high pancake total with an impressive 136, good enough for 5th All Time among human OL! He found himself outside of the first team mostly for his 3 SA, but his performance had to be recognized. Hamel was second in the league in Pancakes, and only allowed 1 sack all season, another highly valuable season that helped his offense make its way to the playoffs!
OFFENSIVE GUARD
1st team: Bob Roberts @zaynzk (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 69 Pancakes, 0 SA, 0 Penalties
1st team: Maiteers Rico-Shea @Beaver (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 100 Pancakes, 1 SA
2nd team: Thomas Passmann @StamkosFan
Key Stats: 69 Pancakes, 0 SA, 1 Penalty
2nd team: Marlon Alexander @platanocat
Key Stats: 64 Pancakes, 0 SA
As with other OL positions, we don't have a ton of stats to look at for separation. But, with the ones we do have, we can see that Roberts had a truly "clean" season. 0 SA and 0 penalties is a golden combo for an Offensive Lineman, hence his Unanimous First Team inclusion. Speaking of, our other First Team inclusion was also unanimous. MRS stood out in this pack as the only triple-digit pancaker. He did have some penalties, and allowed a single sack, but the height of his pancake stack was too tall to keep him off the First Team.
Our Second Team saw some very similar stat lines to Roberts. The main separator, being penalties. Both Passman and Alexander did their part in keeping their Quarterbacks upright, allowing 0 sacks. Passman only had 1 penalty, but in such a brilliant group, that was enough to keep him from First Team honors. Alexander was a little more hold happy, managing 4 penalties on the season. Again, both had great years, but in the end needed a bit more to make the leap.
CENTER
1st team: Manhattan Project @Modern_Duke (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 95 Pancakes, 0 SA
2nd team: Moe Skeeter @TheDude83
Key Stats: 78 Pancakes, 1 SA
There were no truly "clean" seasons for Centers this year, but Manhattan Project came pretty close. O SA on almost 1200 snaps is always impressive. And to add a position-leading 95 Pancakes is even more so. He did have some penalty problems with 3 for a big 25 yards, but his other numbers coupled with some Centers having even bigger penalty issues, was enough to put him into our First Team.
Our Second Team Center came a little more hotly contested. Skeeter had a solid year, filling his belly with 78 Pancakes and only allowing 1 Sack. However, he did end up with 3 penalties for 15 yards. That's not a lot in the grand scheme, but a few voters did see this as a reason to vote for Slothisberger instead. Sloth had 0 penalties and also only gave up 1 Sack. He did have 14 fewer pancakes than Skeeter, which ultimately was enough to convince the majority of voters to leave him off the All-Pro listing this season.
DEFENSIVE TACKLE
1st team: Chuck Roth @zeagle1
Key stats: 73 tackles | 8 TFL | 9 sacks | 1 safety | 1 FR
1st team: Honky-Tonk Haywood @jzajenius36
Key stats: 77 tackles | 10 sacks | 3 TFL | 2 FF
2nd team: Magnus Rikiya @Tesla
Key stats: 52 tackles | 7 sacks | 4 TFL | 5 FF | 3 FR
2nd team: Daymond Brooks
Key stats: 51 tackles | 8 TFL | 5 sacks | 3 FF
Defensive Tackle ended up being a lot more of a divisive position group this season, as the nominees all were very evenly stacked and brought their own bit of flavor. First on the board was the man leading the charge up front on Arizona’s fearsome 3-4 defense, Chuck Roth. Roth showed this season he was not one-dimensional, as he totalled the third most tackles among all defensive linemen, as well as the most tackles for loss and the third-highest total number of sacks. He even pitched in a safety on the season!
Our other First Team selection was Season 30’s Defensive Tackle of the Year, Honky-Tonk Haywood. In Season 31, Haywood led all Defensive Linemen in tackles, and turned in the second-most sacks. Haywood held down the interior for the Liberty, whose defense allowed a league-best 59 rushing yards per game.
Leading off for the Second Team we have Colorado’s nose tackle, Magnus Rikiya, who made up for a lower number of tackles by making the most impact as possible with them. Rikiya’s 7 sacks and 4 TFL were both respectable, but the 5 fumbles he forced, as well as the three recovered, were enough to propel Magnus to the All-Pro team.
Rounding out Defensive Tackles we have yet another member of the Butchers’ defense, Draymond Brooks. He tied for the most Tackles for Loss among defensive linemen with the aforementioned Roth, as well as chipping in 5 sacks and three forced fumbles.
DEFENSIVE END
1st team: Brick Van Sanzo @snazzlepuss22 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 10 sacks (t-3rd) 5FF (1st)
1st team: Leonard Taylor @Tayjay (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 100% tackle% (t-1st) 12 sacks (1st) 3FF (t-2nd)
2nd team: Tex Wrecks @209tacos
Key stats: 7 sacks (t-5th) 7 TFL (t-2nd) 2FF (t-3rd)
2nd team: Son Goku @Naosu
Key stats: 10 sacks (t-3rd) 0 penalties (t-1st)
We have heard your statements friends and have made the adjustment to bring defensive ends to the all-pro team!
Headlining with the sacks leader Taylor was an absolute unit off the edge. 12 from defensive end is the kind of production you look for in the most elite at the position and Taylor delivered. He was great at tracking ball carriers and quarterbacks alike, not missing a single tackle all season. The three forced fumbles are the cherry on top of a near perfect season.
Van Sanzo continues to lead the New York Sack Exchange being third in his position in sacks. Where Brick really shined was in his big play ability, forcing a fumble on half of his sacks. Brick sacks were not impactful for a loss of yardage but half the time a likely turnover as well. His three tackles for loss, while not as high as some, still added to an already great resume.
Tex truly did Wreck this season, a true all around defensive end Tex in the 3-4 system the Liberty run made impact plays on the passer and on runners. Seven sacks is certainly impressive, but adding in seven tackles for loss and being tied second at his position for the stat made him that much more dominant.
Son Goku was using Master Roshi’s training well in Florida. With great pass rushing prowess hitting double digits, but where he really shined was in his elite discipline. Getting to the passer as often as Goku did tends to lead to roughing the passer but Goku was able to keep his cool and registered no penalties all season long. Four tackles for a loss helped seal the deal and he takes the final spot.
OUTSIDE LINEBACKER
1st team: Wasrabi Gleel @Crodyman
Key stats: 98 tackles | 18 sacks | 62.75% CtA | 8 FF/4 FR | 98% Tck Rate
1st team: Juan Domine @"Maglubiyet"
Key stats: 111 tackles | 20 sacks | 4 FF/1 FR | 2 INT | 14 PDs | 1 Safety | 1 Block
2nd team: Brach Thomaslacher @RDBSouthPaw
Key stats: 104 tackles | 18 sacks | 6 FF/5 FR | 2 INT | 2 Safeties | 60.87% CtA
2nd team: Big Slammu @moonlight
Key stats: 114 tackles | 19 sacks | 2 FF/3 FR | 1 INT | 1 Safety | 1 DTD
Outside Linebackers have consistently been one of the highest-impact positions since the All-Pro Team was launched, and this season continues that trend. Due to the fierce competition at the position, we had no unanimous selections for the First Team, and the numbers show why.
One of the biggest storylines of Season 31 was the meteoric rise of the Chicago Butchers. Led by a staunch defense and a strong running game, the boys of the Windy City finished the season 10-6 with an insane 7-1 record on the road, and their two OLBs, Gleel and Domine were a big part of it. Wasrabi Gleel, the Grey Ducks product, not only finished third in the league in sacks with 18 on the year, but was about as sure of a tackler as you could be with a staggering 98% success rate on his tackles. The biggest story of his season, however, was his 8 forced fumbles which set a single-season record for the ISFL.
His OLB partner across the formation, Juan Domine, was our second First Team selection, and he was just as menacing to offenses as Gleel was, totalling 20 sacks, 4 forced fumbles, and a safety on the season. Domine was not as strong in pass coverage as some other OLBs this season, allowing near 70% of passes in his direction to be completed, but he was still able to make impactful plays in coverage, snagging 2 interceptions and disrupting 14 pass attempts, the most by a Linebacker this season.
First on the Second Team we have Brach Thomaslacher, the longtime star for the Copperheads, who turned in yet another stellar season, in which he racked up 18 sacks. Now, since OLB is a hotly contested position group, what set Thomaslacher apart aside from his pass rushing ability was his who body of work. His sub-61% catches allowed rate was better than a number of defensive backs, and he also had a penchant for impact plays, recording two safeties, two interceptions, and forcing 6 fumbles.
Last but not least, we have the Shark Man himself, Big Slammu, whose play helped propel the Hahalue to their first Ultimus win as a team. Honolulu made waves last season, making a trade for Slammu, and he repaid them in kind by turning in a fantastic season in which he finished second in the league in sacks, third in tackles for loss, forced 4 turnovers, and even scored a defensive touchdown.
INSIDE LINEBACKER
1st team: Jack Banks @TheRocheLimit
Key stats: 111 tackles | 9 sacks | 3 FF | 2 FR | 1 INT | 1 safety
2nd team: Douglas Quaid @HENDRIX 2.0
Key stats: 127 tackles | 7 TFL | 3 sacks | 2 FF | 2 INT | 96.95% tak rate
Inside/Middle Linebackers are asked to do a lot for their defenses. Where an Outside Linebacker can sometimes specialize in rushing the passer or playing contain on run plays, the Inside Linebacker needs to be versatile. They are asked to blitz, stop opposing Tight Ends and Running Backs in pass coverage, and also be able to dissect running plays and stop anything that comes into view. Both of the players on the All-Pro Team this season at the ILB spots are examples of the varying roles this position plays.
On the First Team we have the Silverbacks legend, Jack Banks. Banks was a bear for offenses to contain this whole season, as he quarterbacked New York’s vaunted 4-3 defense, and was asked to be a playmaker at every level, as shown by not only his high tackle and sacks numbers, but also in his ability to make impact plays, forcing three fumbles, snagging in interception, and even tallying a safety on the season.
Showcasing the variety even within the position group, our Second Team selection, Douglas Quaid for the Wraiths, was equally as impactful all over the field. His 127 tackles was the second-most in the league this season, and his 7 tackles for loss was the 4th-highest mark. Quaid showed his field range off this season, forcing two fumbles, intercepting two passes, as well as tallying 13 passes defended.
CORNERBACK
1st team: Davriel Lavigne @Raven (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 55.32% CtA on 141 tar | 5 INT | 32 PD | 2 FF/1 FR
1st team: Maverick Bowie @Tonzy
Key stats: 100 tackles | 8 INT | 41 PD | 67.31% CtA
1st team flex: Dukburg Quakstak @Bwestfield
Key Stats: 61.70% CtA | 4 INT | 26 PD | 1 DTD
2nd team: Albert Ruschmann @katarn22
Key stats: 61.54% CtA | 5 FF/3 FR | 2 INT | 27 PD
2nd team: Rich Triplet @Kotasa
Key stats: 104 tackles | 3 FF/1 FR | 5 INT | 30 PD | 63.69% CtA
2nd team flex: Peter Patterson @slate
Key stats: 57.55% CtA | 3 FF | 2 INT | 26 PD
As you can see from the roster here, Cornerback was not only a very deep position group in Season 31, but also one that the voters could not seem to agree on, as both of our DFlex spots were taken up by Cornerbacks.
There was one player that the voters could all agree on, and that was Davriel Lavigne, whose play on the field helped the Hahalua field the top passing defense in the entire ISFL this past season. Lavigne was nothing short of great this season as opposing Quarterbacks were able to complete barely half of their passes thrown in his direction. He also was a turnover machine, as his 5 interceptions were good enough for second-most in the league.
While Lavigne was content creating a no-fly zone on his side of the field, the other First Team Cornerback this season, Maverick Bowie, employed much more of a boom-or-bust type style against opposing receivers. He allowed just over two-thirds of the passes thrown in his direction to be completed; but, Bowie also paced the league with 8 interceptions and 41 passes defended, and 61% of the incompletions in his direction were directly due to him disrupting the pass, the highest rate in the league.
Our First Team DFlex player this season is the NY product, Dukburg Quakstak, whose play style was a happy medium between Lavigne and Bowie. Quakstak posted a very strong 61.70% catches allowed rate, but also posted a very respectable 4 interceptions, and turned in the only defensive touchdown among all Cornerbacks on the All-Pro team.
Ruschmann might not have the typical gaudy stats you might expect out of an elite coverage Cornerback, and while his catches allowed was very strong, he did not take advantage of mistakes by the offense, tallying only 2 interceptions on the season. Where Ruschmann made his name, however, was as an impactful hitter, registering an absurd 5 forced fumbles, 3 of which he recovered.
Our other Second Team CB, Rich Triplet, had one message to opposing WRs this season, “enter at your own risk, BUCKO.” He not only had a good catches allowed rate, but also turned in 5 interceptions (2nd in the league) and another season with 30 PD. To top it off, Triplet showed he wasn’t scared to get his hands dirty as he had 104 tackles and forced 3 fumbles.
Rounding out our team was the man known as BigPP, Peter Patterson, showing just how deep the Season 25 Cornerback class was, as that’s now FIVE S25 CBs to make the team this season. Patterson was able to essentially remove an opposing WR from the gameplan as he allowed under 58% of the passes thrown in his direction to be completed. Not satisfied with just stopping completion, Patterson also tallied 2 interceptions and forced 3 fumbles on the season.
SAFETY
1st team: Cuco Clemente @Billybolo53 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 4 INT (t-2nd) 15 PDs (t-2nd) 55.79% catch rate (1st)
1st team: Jacob Raske @CLG Rampage
Key stats: 3FF (1st) 3 INT (t-3rd) 2DTD (t-1st)
2nd team: Brendan Lanier @jdourtled
Key stats: 5 sacks (t-2nd) 15 PDs (t-2nd) 62.79% catch rate (9th)
2nd team: Evan Jones @Faelax
Key stats: 1 missed tackle (t-2nd) 3 sacks (t-4th) 11 PDs (t-6th)
Fun fact, Cuco has made an All-pro team every year since its inception and this is his second unanimous selection in that span. Cuco was elite at the free safety position tallying the lowest catch rate among all safeties while having the second most targets at the position. This isn’t getting lucky this is being good, calling his ball skills elite would be an understatement being tied for second in picks and pass deflections. He also registered three sacks just to show he can still get after the quarterback and not just take away a third of the field.
If I used one word to describe Raske, it would be playmaker. He made it his mission to take the ball away from offenses and did so at a high level. First among qualifying safeties he forced the ball out from ball carriers at a high level while also being able to pick it off in the air. His 10 PDs are nice but the best playmakers score touchdowns and in a season we didn’t see many, Raske scored two for Berlin.
If you’re asking why I listed Lanier’s 62.79% catch rate that’s only good for 9th, let me explain. The second safety of the Sarasota sailfish plays strong safety which historically has abysmal catch %s allowed, yet here stands Lanier in the top 10 of all of them. He was elite at pass rushing with 5 sacks, made plays on the ball with 15 pass defenses, and registered 2 picks in addition. A truly great season for the second half of the Sailfish duo!
Jones reminded me a lot of Harrison Smith, he was great at almost any category you ask of him. He missed one tackle, was great at rushing the passer with his three sacks, notched eleven pass defenses, and got himself a couple picks along the way. Oh he also forced a fumble for good measure, a truly well rounded safety.
KICKER
1st team: Jacob Small @bjkman (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 100% XP%, 100% FG%
2nd team: Taipan Pete @Thatguy91 (Unanimous selection)
Key stats: 96.97% XP%, 89.29% FG%
There isn't too much extra to say about our First Teamer's season. He completed the dream season, going 100% on Extra Points and Field Goals. And not on piddly volume, either! Only two kickers attempted more Field Goals, and only four attempted more Extra Points. Small lead all kickers in total points as well, with a huge 157. You can't possibly ask for a better season from your place kicker.
Taipan Pete booted his way onto our Second Team by only missing 1 Extra Point and having the second highest FG% among kickers. He was used the least of all kickers this season as far as total kicks, but he managed to put a high percentage through when asked. 9/9 on 40 yarders is a great accomplishment as well for a kicker that definitely has some more years in the cleats!
PUNTER:
1st team: Cade York @LSUFAN101 (Unanimous selection)
Key Stats: 52.7% I20%, 39 Inside 20
2nd team: Matthew McDairmid @Matty7478
Key Stats: 49.97 yards Punt Avg, 72 yard Long
Cade had one of the craziest punting seasons we've ever seen. 39 Punts inside the 20 is tied for 4th most all-time and Cade did it on only 74 total punts! That means any time he punted there was better than 50/50 odds it pinned the other team deep. The 52.7% mark is 2nd in league history! It was truly an incredible season-long performance, and gave us maybe the easiest unanimous decision we had.
In his final season before hanging up the boots, McDairmid showed that he still had power in those old but massive thighs. On 71 punts, the Scottish Super Punter averaged almost 50 yards per punt; 2nd this season only behind Blago Kokot. And speaking of Kokot, Matty tied him for longest punt with a massive 72-yard bomb. He also pinged 29 of his punts inside the 20, giving him a highly respectable 40% I20%. Truly an inspirational last ride for the Mad Scot.
RETURNER:
1st team: Daniel Foster @Arkz
Key Stats: 6.7 kick return EPA (3rd), 7.42 total returner EPA (2nd), 0.2 EPA/return (2nd),
2nd team: Kai Sakura @DarknessRising
Key Stats: 1 kickoff return TD (1st), 0.54 EPA/kickoff return (1st), -4.1 punt return EPA
The Wraiths special teams were on fire this season, largely thanks to the huge efforts of their two returners who take both of the All-Pro spots at the position. Voters rewarded Foster for his well rounded style, as his returns added the most expected points to his team’s drives out of any player who scored positive by that metric on both kickoff and punt returns. His 29 yards per kickoff return and 9 yards per punt return were both well above league average, and his versatility and ability to make plays in both phases of special teams were rewarded.
His teammate Sakura had a more outstanding season looking only at his kickoff returns. In addition to scoring the only kickoff return TD in the league, his average on his other 21 kickoff attempts would have been the highest in the league at just under 30 yards/return. However, the big negative in his column was his measly 2.2 yard (!) average punt return, which ended up offsetting most of the benefit of his exceptional kick returns compared to a more complete returner like Foster.
SFWG All-Pro First Team
QB: Mattathias Caliban
RB: Goat Tank
FB: Buster Bawlls*
WR: Mark Walker*
WR: Videl-San*
TE: Zee Rechs
OFlex: Jamar Lackson
OT: Stumpy Jones
OT: Pepelegs Johnson
OG: Bob Roberts*
OG: Maiteers Rico-Shea*
C: Manhattan Project*
DT: Chuck Roth
DT: Honky-Tonk Haywood
DE: Brick Van Sanzo*
DE: Leonard Taylor*
OLB: Wasrabi Gleel
OLB: Juan Domine
ILB: Jack Banks
CB: Davriel Lavigne*
CB: Maverick Bowie
S: Cuco Clemente*
S: Jacob Raske
DBFlex: Dukburg Quakstak
K: Jacob Small*
P: Cade York*
Returner: Daniel Foster
SFWG All-Pro Second Team
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Cobra Kai
FB: Ben Alexander-Arnold
WR: Raphael Delacour
WR: Cmon Skiuuup
TE: Mario Messi
OFlex: Tatsu Nakamura
OT: Alexander Franklin
OT: Marc Hamel
OG: Thomas Passmann
OG: Marlon Alexander
C: Moe Skeeter
DT: Magnus Rikiya
DT: Daymond Brooks
DE: Tex Wrecks
DE: Son Goku
OLB: Brach Thomaslacher
OLB: Big Slammu
ILB: Douglas Quaid
CB: Albert Ruschmann
CB: Rich Triplet
S: Brendan Lanier
S: Evan Jones
DBFlex: Peter Patterson
K: Taipan Pete*
P: Matthew McDairmid
Returner: Kai Sakura
* = Unanimous selection
Other Players Receiving Votes:
QB Dexter Zaylren ; RB Zoe Watts ; RB Jay Cue Jr. ; FB Bronko Mills ; FB Sigismund Sternenstaub ; WR Jackson Kingston ; WR William Lim ; WR Kai Sakura ; WR Eleven Kendrick-Watts ; TE James Angler ; TE Sal Ami ; OT Icebox Riposte ; OG Bernie Sanders ; OG Byron Dolls ; C Ben Slothlisberger ; C Cheese Farley ; DT Colt Mendoza DE Bean Beanman ; DE Raylan Crowder ; OLB Heinrich Kackpoo ; OLB AJ Lucas ; ILB Makoto Otawara ; ILB Tyler Montain ; CB CJ Sonjack ; CB Lip Gallagher ; S Johnny Hellzapoppin ; P Paul Monitor ; RET Eugene Smoothie ; RET Jackson Kingston
Summary by team:
(7): 5 1st team, 2 2nd team
(7): 4 1st team, 3 2nd team
(7): 3 1st team, 4 2nd team
(6): 2 1st team, 4 2nd team
(5): 2 1st team, 3 2nd team
(5): 2 1st team, 3 2nd team
(3): 2 1st team, 1 2nd team
(3): 1 1st team, 2 2nd team
(3): 1 1st team, 2 2nd team
(2): 2 1st team, 0 2nd team
(2): 1 1st team, 1 2nd team
(2): 1 1st team, 1 2nd team
(1): 0 1st team, 1 2nd team
(1): 1 1st team, 0 2nd team
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Good day to you! Thank you for reading this article unveiling the All-Pro rosters for season 31! A huge thank you goes out, as always, to the whole team that participated in discussion throughout the season to help us get to this point. I thought last season was insane with nine unanimous First Team All-Pro selections, a crazy number that smacked the previous couple of seasons numbers, but season 31 stepped it up another notch with TWELVE unanimous selections on our First Team roster! A fervent round of applause goes out to all of the dominant players that earned that recognition and to all of the other amazing players on our two rosters this season.
In pursuit of transparency, as we began doing last season, we are publishing the individual ballots of all seven of our voters this season. While I ask that you maintain respect and decorum in doing so, you are welcome to reach out to the voters about their individual ballots. View those votes in the spreadsheet here.
As always, the Simulation Football Writer’s Guild is open to bringing new members into the guild. Linked here is a post I made in the past that discusses what we do and how you might reach out to get on board.
Hip hip hooray again for all of the S31 All-Pro players!
© 2021 Simulation Football Writers’ Guild
Note: For those of you Unanimous First Team selections, you can get full-resolution versions of the images in this article at this link: S31 Unanimous First Team All-Pro
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